Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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- I do not scour the news daily, so educate me here: Is there a specific case when a black cop killed a white man unjustifiably and there was no social outcry? Secondly, keep in mind, much of what you see in the media is based on sensationalism. You might not have seen much hoopla from blacks in particular because we we'ren't aware. I don't profess to speak for all black people. I'm simply admitting I don't have a point of reference. I am affected anytime a life is taken senselessly.
When you witness blacks' outrage, we are not simply responding to a single incident. We as a group, particularily our men, have been systematically and randomly abused, jailed, maimed and killed solely because of the color of our skin. In our collective consciousness we identify with the injustice inflicted on any African American. It may be difficult for you to understand. You are a young girl and are white. I believe it would be safe to say that in terms of race and the short time you've been on this planet that your experiences are radically different from that of blacks.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Okay, so we still don't have some clear-cut answers, right? Can someone define the mindset for middle class as well as the income bracket? Lately, I've been identifying myself as lower middle class (it just seems that raising two kids on my salary isn't bad, but I'm not sure how middle is defined). I'm still confused. Is anyone else?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,OK, enough about how confident we are. In a minute I'll have to pull out my boots! Granted, many large black women are more confident about their voluptuous bodies than white women. But there are also plenty of sistas who, while they exude confidence, nonetheless complain and worry about their weight. We may experience less pressure from our men, but many of us look at magazines like Essence and complain that too many of the cover women are not representative of what we look like. Maybe this is just me, but I'm a size 10. I don't have flawless makeup, nor do I wear casual outfits that cost a $100-plus. And too many black women are too heavy for their frames, have poor eating habits and fail to exercise properly. This is indicative of low self-esteem, not self-love and confidence. So let's stop pretending black women don't have self-image issues, because we do. And before we can heal, we have to admit that we hurt. That always-strong, sexy, confident, intelligent, ultra-cool persona is not a realistic portrait of who I am (or my fellow sistas). We are as varied as all women - some days my strut is tough, and other days, I'd rather hide behind the shadows.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Tim: There is a new reference title entitled, 'Slavery Throughout History'. Check your local public library. It gives a fairly thorough examination of slavery throughout the world appropriate for the middle school through high school audience. It includes current practices of exploitive child labor,prostitution, and other forms of slavery that exist in contemporary times. While I can not provide you with a specific reference I have heard current commentary about a black market for a white women in other countries, and here in Michigan, there was recently a case reported of a young African girl abused by a white couple for 3yrs. under distressed conditions, i.e. she was treated as a slave. I also was told by a very reliable source that there is a market for victims to be used in snuf movies. These are usually women sold off for drugs. The victims are doped, forced to perform various acts which are videotaped and then the victim's killing is videotaped as well.I have known addicts who were so desperate for drugs(mostly women) that they were forced to perform lewd acts to pay off drug debts. Others have sold either their wives or children for the same reasons. As gruesome as this sounds this is real.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,G.E.'s question has not been answered. She didn't ask why all white women nor did she say that white women were more bossy. No one has addressed the scenario in question: Why do white women in particular(we're talking about instances where this does occur)arrogantly, meddle in other employees' work when they are neither qualified nor the immediate supervisor? Nothing in her post said that these women were her manager/supervisor. In fact she indicated that they lacked the skillset and position that warranted their input in the first place. Why can't we collectively fess up when the shoe does fit? There are white women who do this and it is related to them being white. To identify an issue is not an indictment against an entire group. Will someone honestly answer the question. If nobody's ever guilty of prejuice or stereotyping there would be no need for this board. And we all know that isn't our reality.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,I would suggest that if the neighbor attends the class, then you, too, might benefit from such instruction as well. While I empathize with your friend's dilemma, I'd argue that it isn't about race. Call the guy (neighbor) an idiot because he is. Race is irrelevant here. His behavior is a reflection of him as an individual, irrespective of his color. Honestly, if he were in an all-black neighborhood, do you think he'd behave any differently? I have new neighbors, too. I live in a middle-class neighborhoof in a predominantly white area. My new neighbors blare their music(everything from Eldrige to Puffy Daddy), smoke weed that permeates our halls and talk so loudly that when you're entering your own unit, you can hear the conversation with the clarity of Sprint. I'd say they're pretty rude because they simply have disregard for others, period. Their behavior is not predicated on the fact that they are white. There are plenty of folks who desire to live in stable, quiet, clean neighborhoods. This reflects values, not race. If property values do drop, it will be because of property owners who fail to maintain the aesthetics of the neighborhood, not because a black family moved in. Sorry, but morons come in all varieties.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,There are a multitude of reasons why we rush as we do. You do not indicate whether you are married or single. If you are a single parent like me, perhaps you can identify with my situation. I am 35. I work full-time, attend school when I can and have several interests of my own beyond the interests of my children. But parenthood isn't the only variable. Clinically speaking, I am manic, which means an individual who is in constant crisis. Obviously, crisis can easily be brought on by overextending oneself. In my own case it is easy to see how the coupling of single parenting and mania spells BUSY in all caps. However, there is hope. Having taken the time to seek professional help, I have learned to take on fewer activities. I make personal time a priority, and I've learned to simply sit and watch my four-year-old play. For me, it has been a long-term commitment (it has taken me almost eight years on a conscious spiritual path and counseling) to wanting a better quality of life. Fortunately, I am not a workaholic. I am, though, an artist. Now, I define and accept my responsibilities. I set emotional and mental boundaries for myself and others with whom I interact. The positive changes I've made in my personal life mean that I am more sane. Not only does my family benefit, but I am free to pursue my own passions.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Steph: I agree with Wildflower most will respond postively simply because you bothered to ask. Why use a racial term at all? If you are talking about me specifically, I prefer black. Growing I identified with black so that is what I'm most comfortable with. And if I am the only black in the room and you wanted to describe me to someone else, don't sweat yourself. Say, 'The lovely black woman over there.' By the way, oriental describes furniture. The correct term would be asian.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Demosthenes: There have been times when my first response or feeling was anger. I have experience humiliation and frustration, too. Yes, throw in restment; I guess. When I was younger, in my 20's, sometimes I wanted revenge. Prior to my 20's, I had had many encounters including relationships with whites, and these interactions had been positive. I didn't experience discrimination that I could readily identify as such until I was employeed in a corporate environment. Now in my 30's, I have enjoyed even greater relationships with a variety of races and nationalities. And yes, I have encountered less than desireable situations, too. Still, I'd like to think I am wiser, more mature now. I am also a more spiritual person so to categorically want to lash out at group based solely on race or any other abitrary classification goes against my beliefs and values. Does this mean I don't get angry, frustrated, or hurt? No. What it does mean for me today is that I can honestly acknowlege how I feel and then consciously decide how I will respond. In most instances, I've learned to exercise delay, especially if the circumstances dictate that to do otherwise would only complicate my situation. Not a good idea to go off on the boss. Besides, once my emotional upset subsides, I can more rationally decide if the situation was racial. I can weigh whether it is beneficial for me to protest or to walk away. I can elvaluate whether the offender's actions or words hold any real consequence for me. Most times, the answer is no. The person is likely someone I would not care to associate with. Consequently, I often choose to ignore them. No sense in attempting to reprimand a closed mind. Everyone wants to be valued and respected for who they are. I do. I try to exercise that belief in all my interactions.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Wildflower: Well let's hope this ain't the kettle calling the skillet black! 'Cause we all know plenty a brotha with vanilla hangin' on his arm! I'm with you. Get upset about what? Whatever rocks your boat is cool with me. Trust me: if a guy who happens to be white is diggin' this lock swingin' sista, it ain't nobody's business if I do!!! Can I get an amen? :-)User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Brian: Both of my parents were quite the athletes in their youth. They lived for the sports activites sponsored at the recreaction centers in their neighborhoods. My parents were bowlers and softball players. My mother played tennis and track&field. My father was an avid softball player and bowler. Personally, I ran track, threw the shot put,and ran cross country in high school. Actually, earned my varsity letters, too. As an adult, I got involved with bodybuilding even competed in a few local amature shows. I taught aerobics until my 38week of my last pregnancy (I was 30 at the time and had almost 10 years experience).I've trained with professional trainers off and on throughout the years. Principally, I have concentrated on cardiovascular activities with a great passion for strenght and toning exercises as well. Neither my parents nor have I formally sought to encourage my children (both girls) to participate in any particular sports. However, by example I have stressed to my oldest (my youngest is only 4) to be proactive with her health. Diabetes, heart disease, and obestity is rampanant on both sides of my family. Consequently, I consciously chose to keep these evils at bay with regards to my own health by being physically fit. My oldest enjoys swimming, basketball, played little league baseball one year, and track. She's more a recreational athlete. She plays for the sheer fun of it. Recently, she enrolled in an aerobics class and really enjoys it. May I ask why you asked the question? Have you noticed some marked differences among races?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Shirlee: I empathasize with you. However,I dare ask you and other whites: weren't you listening when all the great religious and civil rights leaders were beseeching the majority in this country to understand that racism cuts both ways? Did you think it was pure rhetoric when they told you that as long as one brother is treated unjustly, we are all victims? Are you (and the rest of us) spiritually deaf to the ideas of Karmic debt and the notion of Collective Consciousness? While you as an individual may not exercise or harbor racism in your heart, that does not collectively exnorate you from the consequences of it. Perhaps, it is unfortunate that it is popular to bash the majority in these contemporary times. Without malice, I tell you welcome to my world. Now, personally you are experiencing what every minority in this country has lived their entire lives: shackled by unjust stereotypes and unwarranted criticism and ridicule. Now you are a victim of the collective consciousness in a conscious state.You are experiencing firsthand the injustice of being judged by the color of your skin soley and not your value as a individual human being. It is suffocating, demoralizing, and inhumane.What is even more ridiculous is the spiritual lunacy of this whole mess.In Truth,in spirit we are one. In the spiritual realm there is only sameness. We are one.Differences do not exisit. This pitiful illusion we're currently experiencing in this physical plane is manufactured in own small human brains.The evils of our ism's in this world is the result of spiritual amensia. We're asleep metaphysically. We have forgotten who we are. We are the children of God, and God doesn't have a color. Too bad it takes crisis for us to intermittenly awaken ocassionally and question the nightmare we're living.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Tony: I'm with you on this one. Sorry, Lucy. Even the most well-manicured and professional acrylics are readily identifiable. First of the uniformity of the shape, length and density of the nails are a clear indication that the nails are not real. Acrylics in particular have a distintive density to them that do not grow naturally. And just like synthic hair holds up better in braided styles so does air brushing and other nail designs wear longer on fake nails. In my 20's I went through a phase when I donned fake nails. They were relatively new on the scene and it was a definite status symbol for urban women to wear. It said, 'Yes I do pamper myself and I can afford it.' It was a relatively short-lived phase because I also happened to be quite serious about bodybuilding, too. While many female bodybuilders wore these nails to increase their feminine image, I found the nails to be too high maintainance and cumbersome. I couldn't use my favorite gripping style and the cost dipped into funds that could have been used for training sessions, clothing, or other related athletic items. I have had nail technicians comment how beautiful and healthy my natural nails are. My aunt urged me to maintain my nails because men would find them attractive and elegant. Men have complimented me often for wearing my natural nails. Overwhelmingly, I have been told they prefer them to acrylics.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Amanda: Maybe I'm naive, but why chastise Treesprite for injecting 'realism' in her post? I think you may be guilty of some of stereotyping here yourself, something which in your own post you seem to be offended by.How do you know what the diction was of the said parties in question? What if Treesprite herself uses this same diction? What's so horrible if the the women speaking used this particular speech? Are we to assume that you never use words such as gonna,wit, sista, girl and so on? Are you offended by the speech or the fact that for someone white posted this particular speech pattern? Are you insuiating that she is being prejudicial? what if the postee had been black? Would you have been likewise offended? Now, i have been off the mark more than a few times in my lifetime, but I thought the woman was asking a simple question, and to be honest I had never heard such comments. I was curious myself about the significance of the conversation.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,In general, black hair is dry. This is partly due to styling and applying heat, but even in its natural state, our hair follicles do not produce the amount of oil you associate with your own hair. Of course, there are variations among individuals, regardless of race. Some blacks have oilier hair and shampoo daily or frequently during the week. Others, like myself, only shampoo every few weeks. Yes, I only shampoo once a month if that. I do oil my hair with a liquid oil. I wear locks and apply oil only to my locks, careful to apply only small amounts to my scalp. This reduces the amount of buildup and excess dirt. My eldest child relaxes her hair, and uses hair oil more frequently. Oiling the hair and scalp makes the hair manageable, gives it a nice sheen, reduces breakage due to dryness and reduces flaking from a dry scalp. I use Kemi oil. It also perfumes my hair nicely.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,
