[Jon29364]

There are people from every race and society who would, according to your standards, need sensitivity training. Because one black person is messy and rude to his neighbors does not mean all blacks are rude and mean. Just because there is white trash does not mean I assume as a black person that all white people are trash.

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Name : Jon29364, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, City : Windsor, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, 

[Cheryl-J-E]

Why not call the owner of the rental property? This makes more sense, as the owner of the property has the most immediate losses. If his renter is so thoughtless regarding his neighbors, he certainly will not be taking care of the house. The issue here does not seem to be one of race but of values and character.

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Name : Cheryl-J-E, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Humanist, Age : 38, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Registered Nurse, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jerry30751]

I would strongly recommend that your friend get in touch with the landlord of the rental property, and possibly consult an attorney. Perhaps constant violation of noise ordinances, neighborhood covenants and/or city and state laws would result in an immediate eviction. Finally, if your friend doesn't belong to his neighborhood property owners' association, he should join one (or start one).

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Name : Jerry30751, Gender : M, City : Columbia, State : MO Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[annonymous]

I would suggest that if the neighbor attends the class, then you, too, might benefit from such instruction as well. While I empathize with your friend's dilemma, I'd argue that it isn't about race. Call the guy (neighbor) an idiot because he is. Race is irrelevant here. His behavior is a reflection of him as an individual, irrespective of his color. Honestly, if he were in an all-black neighborhood, do you think he'd behave any differently? I have new neighbors, too. I live in a middle-class neighborhoof in a predominantly white area. My new neighbors blare their music(everything from Eldrige to Puffy Daddy), smoke weed that permeates our halls and talk so loudly that when you're entering your own unit, you can hear the conversation with the clarity of Sprint. I'd say they're pretty rude because they simply have disregard for others, period. Their behavior is not predicated on the fact that they are white. There are plenty of folks who desire to live in stable, quiet, clean neighborhoods. This reflects values, not race. If property values do drop, it will be because of property owners who fail to maintain the aesthetics of the neighborhood, not because a black family moved in. Sorry, but morons come in all varieties.

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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, 

[Sophia27893]

I live in a small town with a population less than 1,000. I have observed the same occurances daily. Cigarette butts and beer cans in front yards, loud music being played, honking horns at all hours of the night, double parking, etc. It disgusts me that people have such terrible manners and no regard for other human beings. Oh, did I mention that my husband and I are the only two black people in town? I don't believe that sensitivity training is necessary...what is being displayed seems to be a trend in our time: lack of 'home' training. We live in a generation (regardless of race) where we are taught not to care about anyone. Movies, television, and music are filled with 'me-first-and-only' attitudes. These mediums are taking the place of parental training. What your friend is experiencing is not caused by his neighbor's race, but by selfishness and apathy.

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Name : Sophia27893, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : IN Country : United States, Occupation : Secretary, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Amanda L.]

I take it your friend is also a white, middle-class (thus privileged) male who has not considered the reasons people of repressed backgrounds haven't just slotted into the white man's way of life. I'm not even from your country and am aware of the race relations and slave history of African Americans. Australia is no different in the discrimination and judgments projected by white ruling class on aboriginal people (traditional inhabitants of this country). Alcohol-related behavior is often singled out to demonstrate their supposed moral inferiority, as is their limited success in achieving the goals of whites, i.e. having a neat house, impressive annual income, car and 2.3 children. My final point is in the form of a quote that I can only hope you will consider in your opinions on this matter: "The joy of creation is in its infinite diversity and the way in which our individual differences combine to create meaning and beauty." - Mr. Spock, Star Trek.

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Name : Amanda L., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 28, City : Sydney, State : NA Country : Australia, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Tim24592]

I am responding to people who responded to my original post about my friend who has a new black neighbor. Many think race has nothing to do with the issue, this cannot be further from the truth. I did not mention that my friend was called a 'white ass'. I DID mention his mother. The man told my friend that he would get the same respect that he would give his mother...'shit'. Most all of the 'mother' talk indeed seems to issue forth from the mouths of blacks. I think a whole lot of folks are content to stick their heads in the sand and pretend.

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Name : Tim24592, City : Cincinnati, State : OH Country : United States, 

[Victoria]

This is not a 'black issue;' unfortunately, there are people out there who just do not want to care about other people's feelings. I am a black British female, well-educated, brought up in an upper-class family, living accordingly in a very good area, and have had the exact same problem with some new neighbors of Caucasion descent. Every family on my street, which happens to be 99.9 percent white, threatened this neighbor with court action. I went around with some tea and cakes plus a smile, and it turned out they were mostly unaware of exactly what the problem was at first, and when they did realize what was the problem, they felt too embarrassed and victimized to approach everyone and apologize. We all want to live in a nice safe neighborhood, regardless of our color.

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Name : Victoria, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black British, Age : 26, City : London, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : Chartered Accountant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

[Dan31646]

I grew up in a neighborhood that turned from a middle class, predominantly white neighborhood to an increasingly poor black neighborhood over about 15 years. The first black homeowners were mostly middle-class, working professionals. They were quiet, keeping their properties well-maintained, if not in better condition than the long-time residents. They were welcomed with open arms, and there was almost no conflict.

About 10 years after black families first started moving into the neighborhood, the economy of the city fell on hard times. Many families relocated, and there was a 'die-off' of a large number of elderly homeowners. Property values plummeted because there was a growing supply of real estate in an area where demand was non-existent. Across the tracks, literally, was a predominantly poor black neighborhood. Some lower-income residents of these areas, assisted by subsidies and loans, bought houses in the 'good' areas across the tracks. Absentee landlords also snapped up property, and were not selective in choosing tenants. There was an influx of residents from another class, with different behavioral patterns. You had the stereotypical horns honking, people yelling from the sidewalk without using doorbells, loud music and so on. Lawns weren't kept up, and some houses had a lot of in-and-out visitors. These might have been acceptable behaviors in their original communities, but not in this middle-class area. Not too shortly afterward, both middle class white and black homeowners left. It wasn't so much fear of blacks as it was a culture clash.

The yelling and horns honking are not a 'black thing' but a lower-class behavior not representative of blacks as a whole. Unfortunately, because there's a disproportionate number of lower-income blacks, some white people make the observation that all blacks are loud, noise, rude and so on. There are certain stereotypical behaviors among lower-income whites that aren't too desirable, either - 'collecting' inoperable vehicles, leaving toys on the lawn, activities resembling what would be seen on the stage of the Jerry Springer Show, and so on.

Rather than condemn the poster for 'racism,' let's try to answer this question - why is there a stereotype that blacks are loud and sometimes inconsiderate of their neighbors? Stereotypes often have their roots in some actual fact or form of behavior, so there has to be something behind this belief.

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Name : Dan31646, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Buffalo, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Blake]

Tim, I certainly can sympathize with the problem as I know I would be just as concerned if I were stuck in the same situation. It seems as though most of the previous responses were more concerned with your catagorization of the neighbors than with the fact that you (and/or your friend) now have trash for new neighbors. Contact city hall and if there are any resources (health insp. or building insp.) who address these issues start there. If the property is a rental find the landlord and address the issue with them. They may not know. If the new neighbor is the owner of the property, monitor the situation closely and contact the appropriate authorities when necessary and let them or make them do their job. Do not allow it to continue as it will get worse, and will be that much harder to eliminate. All of the neighbors have as much a right not to live next to someone like this as the perpetrator feels he/she has. I would not want to be in the same situation in my neighborhood and would take any legal action I could to prevent it.

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Name : Blake, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 48, City : Fayetteville, State : NC Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

[Steve]

I agree the core issue of this post is not race. But let's look a little deeper. This friend of yours is immediately up against society because the immature neighbor is black. No matter what the neighbor does if your friend complains, he is a racist

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Name : Steve, Gender : M, Age : 27, City : Cincinnati, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : Programmer, 

[Colleen]

I totally respect your way of dealing with your money. There are enough problems in a marriage that any you can eliminate are great! However, the reason that couples splitting the finances, having separate accounts, and drawing up prenuptial agreements gets a second glance is the three words in Bill's response - 'just in case' There could be good reasons for keeping separate accounts, but it feels to us that share, like separate finances could mean lack of committment to the marriage. By keeping your own accounts, you can keep secrets from each other and you can accrue the finances to just walk away. Before my husband and I married, we agreed that divorce is not an option. There is no separate money and there is no 'just in case.'

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Name : Colleen, Gender : F, Age : 40, City : Quantico, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : teacher's aide, Education level : 2 Years of College, 

[Jared]

I have lived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana all of my life. Do not stereotype me because I live in the south. I am a Bible believing Christian and there is not a racist bone in my body. Down here, we have a large concentration of black people. In New Orleans, there is even more. I know where all the black areas are and what they are like. I know and work with many black people and find them all pleasureable. In whole though, black people tend to be louder, more active physically and definitely a lot more vocal. They take advantage of all the space around them. They are not trying to take over, but are acting cofortably in their surroundings. Yes, they block the areas in front of stores and theaters, but when in they are in their own black neighborhood, that is also how they act. Other black people that they live near do not mind because that is their free nature. So when a horn is honked in a black neighborhood, it goes unnoticed. Large gatherings and people on the street at night goes unnoticed in these neighborhoods because it is natural and commonplace. On the contrary though, white people are more conservative(not uptight). Serenity and individualism is preferred in neighborhoods. Neither whites or blacks are acting wrong, but merely on how they are comfortable. Sometimes the two dont mix in one neighborhood. Of course, I am not classifying all blacks, but basing this on what I have seen in the south. Your neighbor can be rationalized with. Blacks are not thoughtless fools and compromises can be made. I am proof. I have done so in the heart of racism. Yes, the KKK still exits in areas around me. Even though, black people still talk to white people. Try it. It works.

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Name : Jared, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 19, City : Baton Rouge, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : Student/Executive office clerk, Education level : 2 Years of College, 

[Mindkandy]

Why don't you change you frame of mind for a moment and maybe think of this neighbor as just ~a person~ who has no decency in neighborly etiquette. Why must this person's behavior be attached to the fact that he is black..this is the problem with most people, particularly with some whites, the automatic attachment of bad traits to a whole ethnic group because they had experience with one person of that group who had traits they didn't like. This man should be seen as someone who speaks for himself, lives for himself and acts for himself. He does not represent all blacks. To think this would be ridiculous and very immature. You would be implying that all blacks have the exact same rearing, environmental and soci-economic settings and are the same person in and out. You, 'my friend' would be guilty of dehumanizing a whole ethnic group, because you are not allowing yourself to see them as individuals, instead you see one black man and his friends and equate that to believing that all blacks are the same way. no you did not say this in these words, but the very idea that you had to mention this rude neighbor ethnic identity, black, post it on this forum which is on the subject of race/ethnicity, implies a lot on its own. part 2 of my message is posted below somewhere

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Name : Mindkandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : West LA, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Mindkandy]

The intent of this forum is great in allowing people to get their ideas out in the open and to discuss them with people of various ethncities and other demographic groups, but many of the questions on here tell me and I hope some enlightened others that we have a long way to go before we start breaking down racial barriers. People you must really start to hear the things you say, think and believe and stop being impulsive and insensitive along with close minded in many of your approaches to anything racial. Stop and ask yourself ?'s. Really start to do some self evaluation. Minds are lazy here in America when it comes to racial paradigms that sometimes I just want to go out and scream myself crazy in pure disbelief. I hope that I am opening up some minds with my post and getting some agreeable nods as well. Stop generalizing and dehumanizing. People are not all the same. I am BF, but I do not represent the 'black ethnicity'. I represent myself. This goes the same for everyone else. Statements like 'you are a credit to your race', 'wow you speak well for a black person', 'you don't talk or act black' are absolutely childish. Think about what they are really implying besides the obvious words written. They imply that the person who would be saying these things thinks I fit into this cookie cutter image of the idea in their mind of what they feel is black. I am a complex person, multifaceted in personality, ability, intelligence and persona. Treat me that way. I am an individual like everyone else is. Don't shortcut your perspectives towards people and groups by stereotyping, Open your mind, world view and start to really think about things on a more dynamic, rather than stereotypical and close-minded viewpoint. So next time you see your 'rude black neighbor', remember that he is one person, regardless of race, and only represents himself. He should not be seen as representing a whole racial group. Or is it that you want to see things this way? If so, be prepared to not complain when someone says something generalizing about whites and disregards you as an individual.

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Name : Mindkandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : West LA, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

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