Sensitivity training for black neighbor?

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  • #19513

    Jacqueline-C21007
    Participant
    I wonder why the fact that the neighbors are black has anything to do with your question. Does your friend have a problem with the actions of the neighbors, or is the problem that they are black? Do you assume that this one black family is representative of all black families in this country? Is your account of the problems between your friend and his neighbor accurate, or are the exagerated because he does not like having black people live nextdoor and is looking for a legitimate reason not to like them? If the situation is as you say, this does not sound like a racial issue. The neighbors sound like jerks - and jerks come in all colors.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jacqueline-C21007, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : San Jose, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #10080

    Tim24591
    Participant
    I have a friend who lives in a quiet neighborhood where there is some rental property. About a month ago, the place next store was rented by a black family. Immediately, cars started double-parking in front of the house, honking their horns until he would come out. This happens all hours. My friend put up with it for a week, and finally went over to politely speak with him about the situation. The man listened to what he had to say about it being a quiet neighborhood and all, and having to get up and work early in the morning. When he was finished, the neighbor swore at him, insulted my friend's mother and threatened him with bodily harm. It was bad enough that my friend filed a police report, but they would do nothing without witnesses. Things have gotten worse - beer cans on the hood of his car in the morning and in the yard and such. This activity does not bode well for my friend, who owns his home. What happened to the old adage, 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do.'? It would seem to me, if I moved into a neighborhood, I sure wouldn't wan't to start off by trashing it, threatening people and insulting people's mothers. Is sensitivity training available for blacks as well? We have a new upscale neighborhood here where clotheslines, fences and yardbarns are not permitted, and the people who move there abide by these rules. This keeps the neighboorhood and property values up. Is it any wonder why my friend is worried about his property value plummeting?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Tim24591, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : Cincinnati, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : firefighter, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #37488

    Steve27620
    Participant
    The key to your question, to me, was the words 'rental property' not 'black family.' People who rent may consider themselves transient in the neighborhood and are not building equity in the home. Why should they care about the neighborhood. Most renters are better than what you describe but some aren't. I don't think it is race, I believe it is the structure of the economics. I lived in a quiet neighborhood of starter homes in Houston in the mid 1980's when the boom when bust. Over half the houses on my street got foreclosed on and then the banks rented them out. The neighborhood definitely became more diverse and did go down hill. However the worst offender was a white guy who moved in next door and promptly dismantled his Harley motorcycle in the living room. Also your description of your friend finally going over to 'speak politely' with his new neighbors sounds like it had say...zero chance of success! Why not get to know your new neighbors first, have a beer, shoot the bull over the back fence so to speak before you start bitching at them. Finally, the actual accountable party for home meeting neighborhood codes and deed restrictions is the property owner, not the renter. Appeal to and hold them liable for the conduct of the renters after all they have the only real leverage via eviction.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Steve27620, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 43, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #29632

    Crystal
    Member
    Your friend's problem neighbor lacks manners and consideration. This has nothing to do with the fact that he is black. I live in a very racially mixed apartment complex, and all my neighbors, of every race, are wonderful, and I consider myself lucky to be surrounded by good people. My next-door neighbor is black and she is one of the classiest and most considerate neighbors I've ever had. Your friend should seek help from a local mediation service or lawyer, and the sooner the better. Inconsiderate neighbors can be dealt with. And don't forget - great neighbors come in all colors!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Crystal, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 30's, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Office Manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #15620

    Joe29367
    Participant
    Let me tell you from my own experience: Once blacks start moving into a middle-class neighborhood, more of them just keep coming, and it ends up turning into a slum. Then there is a massive 'white flight,' and the value of houses goes way down. I suggest your friend sells now, before it is too late.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Joe29367, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 43, City : Allentown, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Mechanical Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #46119

    Fiona F.
    Member
    First, I don't see how this is a black/white thing. If a white family moved in and was causing the same 'trouble' for your friend, your friend would be just as angry. Or would he be? Would he be more tolerant if it were a white family who did the same thing? If he would be more tolerant, then your friend is racist and needs to deal with that first. If he would be just as angry whether the person is black or white, then what does this have to do with race? When your friend walks over to the other person's house, how did he approach the subject? Did he walk over with the attitude, 'Damn those loud black folks. They don't belong in this white neighborhood'? You'd be surprised at how hidden, gut feelings can manifest themselves in a person's speech. If you want to generalize, I can make the statement that white people think they make the rules and everyone should just follow. They think clotheslines and vegetable gardens in the back yard are 'low class.' Rather than calling it upscale, I would call it uptight.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Fiona F., Gender : F, Race : Asian, Age : 26, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #41256

    Kelley
    Member
    I understand your frustration, but I don't think it's a matter of race. I can think of at least two families in my neighborhood who behaved in a similarly offensive manner, and they were white. Rude people come in all colors. It doesn't excuse the behavior; I'm just saying race isn't an issue here.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Kelley, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 18, City : Syracuse, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #25173

    Tish24627
    Participant
    I'm confused about why him being black is so emphasized in your question. Are you attributing his race to his rude behavior? He's an individual; he isn't any more representative of his race than your friend is of whites. And just because he acts unneighborly doesn't give anyone the right to generalize that all blacks are unneighborly and cause plummeting property values. No group should be subjected to 'sensitivity training,' because no group is wholly insensitive. It's the individuals that make up the group that should be examined. Your friend's neighbor is a jerk, yes, but that has nothing to do with his genetic heritage or skin tone.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Tish24627, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Newark, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : Full-time Ph.D student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #42375

    DanaBoy
    Member
    This issue has nothing to do with race and everything to do with being neighborly. All your friend has to do is call the police and things will be nipped in the bud. And by the way, it also has nothing to do with lowering property values.

    User Detail :  

    Name : DanaBoy, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 33, City : Cincinnati, State : OH Country : United States, 
    #31377

    Steve27621
    Participant
    The key to your question, to me, was the words 'rental property,' not 'black family.' People who rent may consider themselves transient in the neighborhood and are not building equity in the home. Why should they care about the neighborhood? Most renters are better than what you describe, but some aren't. I don't think it is race, I believe it is the structure of the economics. I lived in a quiet neighborhood of starter homes in Houston in the mid-1980s, when the boom went bust. More than half the houses on my street got foreclosed on and then the banks rented them out. The neighborhood definitely became more diverse and did go down hill. However, the worst offender was a white guy who moved in next door and promptly dismantled his Harley motorcycle in the living room. Also, your description of your friend finally going over to 'speak politely' with his new neighbors sounds like it had, say ... zero chance of success! Why not get to know your new neighbors first, have a beer, shoot the bull over the back fence, so to speak, before you start bitching at them. Finally, the actual accountable party for home meeting neighborhood codes and deed restrictions is the property owner, not the renter. Appeal to and hold them liable for the conduct of the renters; after all, they have the only real leverage via eviction.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Steve27621, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 43, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #15514

    ACC24031
    Participant
    The only way property values get lowered like that is when people like you believe such hysterical nonsense. Then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also, in case you hadn't noticed (or chose not to), MOST major cities have middle class and even wealthy neighborhoods that are made up mostly or entirely of blacks, Latinos, Asians, etc.

    User Detail :  

    Name : ACC24031, City : W Lafayette, State : IN Country : United States, 
    #33563

    Rikki
    Participant
    Please explain why the ethnicity of the renting family has relevance in this situation. Are you saying there is some connection between their behavior and their ethnicity? Otherwise, of course no one has the right to disrupt the peacefulness of a neighborhood.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Rikki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 51, City : Cleveland, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18241

    Augustine23608
    Participant
    First, remove the word 'black' from this narrative. Race is not the question here, behavior is. You say that clotheslines, fences, etc., are not allowed here. There must be a homeowners' association (HOA). Does your friend pay dues? If so, there are probably bylaws against this sort of thing under the general heading of 'peaceful enjoyment of property' or something like that. If the offensive neighbor is breaking the HOA regulations, depending on how they are written, he could be fined or even forced to move. I do know that, generally speaking, failure to pay dues creates a lien against the property (i.e., the HOA could take it away from you and sell it to satisfy the lien); perhaps pertinacious failure to abide by the other regulations could force similar action. Your friend needs to get an attorney, the sooner the better.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Augustine23608, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 39, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #35149

    Joe P.
    Participant
    It is unfortunate that your friend has to put up with the activities you described. I would not like it, no matter who the new neighbors were. And speaking of neighbors, I don't think the fact that the people are black has anything to do with their actions. As you may well be aware, all blacks aren't loud, swear at people, honk horns throughout the day or night, etc. I think you get my drift. I am black and moved into an almost all-white neighborhood. I have found in the 10 years that I've been there that my neighbors are loud and I am the quiet one. I don't think just because they are white that they are naturally obnoxious, because some are and some aren't. So the issue here with your friend should really be that an obnoxious slob has moved in, not that the slob is black. Tell your friend to get together with other neighbors and approach the situation as concerned residents. Contact the rental agency, the Realtor or the owner. I'm sure one or more of these approaches will work for your friend and his other neighbors.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Joe P., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, City : Tallahassee, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Government Consultant, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #22651

    Malik D.
    Participant
    Your opinion was well put, however your attack on blacks is pointless. Unless you're a racist, I don't think you should have pointed out the blacks in need of 'sensitivity training.' Not to mention it's all in how you approach someone. I can't vouch for this neighbor because I don't know him, but perhaps your friend went over to his house at a time when either he was displeased or your friend was angry. Either way, I was with you up until you decided to target him because of his ethnicity. The best I can offer for advice is to go talk to him when the time is convenient for your friend and his neighbor.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Malik D., Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 21, City : Clarksville, State : KY Country : United States, Occupation : government, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
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