Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences
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Haze: How many times are we going to go around the block with discussion? Please, do us all a favor and simply do a search in the archives of Y? This is really getting old. Honestly, can we move race discussions to another level, already? If you have done any reading on this site, you’ll find this question has been asked at least a dozen times. We could better use space and time discussing other concerns. I don’t mean to come off insensitive. I’m simply tired of seeing this question.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,I agree with another respondent that we may be playing too much of race in the equation. My experience has been that many folks across the board are uncomfortable with direct eye contact, especially with someone they do not know personally. I have often wondered why folks quickly lower their eyes when they make contact with me. It hasn’t occured to me that it has to do with me being black since this has occurred other blacks as well.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,Cheryl: Be careful not to group folks so generally. All black folks are not related. All black people do not think alike or like the same things. It would be more productive and less offensive,when making inquiries that your post reflect some respect for individuality and personal values. I am black, and I do not tolerate the double standard you describe. I do not laugh at racist jokes and I do verbalize my displeasure to anyone who causually sprinkles deragotory comments in their conversation about someone different from themselves in my presence. I believe in human rights and respect for everyone. I am not a Louis Farrakhan supporter. However, I’d suggest that you not confuse agreement with something Farrakhan or any other controversial figure says with allegiance.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,My first thought was why would I care what color a musician was? If I’m enjoying the music, what difference would it matter to me what color the artist is? Of course, I’m one individual. I also happen to be a black woman who loves classical, New Age, Celtic, and alternative/folk music as well as R&B. I grew up on jazz, Motown and R&B of the ’70s and ’80s. I thought with respect to the arts, most people focused on the art itself. Maybe I am naive.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,It seems to me that the most logical way to describe someone is to identify their most distinguishing features. Now if the office is 99 percent white or male, why not preface your description with the obvious? Of course, some of us are sensitive either about being offended or offending. But, if you want to describe this sista, don’t sweat yourself unnecessarily. I work in a corporate environment (predominately white, female, middle class). Tell Joe that Zawadi is that fine black woman with gorgeous locks!
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,Lucy: Once a friend of mine made a comment like that to me. I laughed and told her I would hope she would notice that I’m Black. I’m proud of my culture and my individuality, which is in part shaped by my color, age, sex, education,etc. I told her that I don’t ignore or deny that she’s Italian, I simply don’t let our obvious differences have a greater or lesser value on how I relate to her as a person. Example, if someone asked me to describe my friend Tracey, the first thing I’d tell you was that she’s Italian or White. Can’t understand why we’re so afraid to use the terms Black and White. It’s a distinguishing feature. And for me these descriptions are nuetral. If a friend of mine(let’s say someone White) wanted to describe me to someone else White, I’d say tell them I’m Black. I wear locks, short, in my 30’s,etc. Honestly, color and other distinguishing features is how I describe folks. I hope folks aren’t offended. I’m being honest. Why should anyone be apprehensive about acknowledging diversity?
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,Ms.Carter: Can you be more specific? Your question is too general to understand what exactly it is that you need. Are you interested in different diversity programs currently in place in corporate arenas,or the demographics of groups in different industries? When you ask about cultural beliefs, what specifically are you referring to? Some of my beliefs I suspect affect my views/actions in the workforce and others do not, and I’m not quite sure what is a cultural belief as oppose to a personal one? Please, clarify. I’d be interested in hearing your objective and the opinions of others. Good luck. Would you be interested in private correspondence? If so, include your e-mail.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,Murray, in many states, welfare recipients’ medical coverage does not cover birth control, and many of the working poor do not have insurance at all. So what are you suggesting? If you’re poor, you should be celibate? Maybe the poor should be sterilized? Considering that you identify yourself as middle class, just how far removed are you from ever being destitute?
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,These blanket questions gain so few yards in understanding. Not in a million years would I ask “What does white people’s hair feel like?” (partly because I already know).
To answer you directly, it depends on the particular texture of our hair. I’ll tell you about my household: I wear locks. My hair doesn’t have any chemical (relaxer) in it. I naturally have soft, coily hair that doesn’t have much density. I’m not exactly sure what wool feels like, but I have heard references that black hair has a woolly feel. I suspect my hair is a cross between this and a little coarser than cotton balls. My locks are uniform in shape and size. Many have commented that my locks ‘feel’ softer than they ‘look.’ My oldest daughter has a perm (straightened hair). She keeps it conditioned fairly well, but she also puts a lot of heat on it. (I have a typical hip hop kid.) Her hair is softer than my locks (provided it doesn’t have hair spray on it) and is thicker than mine. Still, she doesn’t have what would be called thick hair (a great number of hair strands from a single hair folic). My youngest daughter has a head full of thick, dark brown hair. It has never been chemically treated. When washed, she has beautiful ringlets all over her head, and it is a tangled mess. Her hair is oilier than mine and my eldest child’s. Her hair has a natural, wavy pattern. It requires a lot of brushing and needs to be conditioned well to keep it manageable. I put little oil on it. Otherwise it holds a lot of dirt and becomes coarser to the touch. My oldest daughter and I both use a light oil more frequently to keep our hair properly moisturized, which prevents breakage. Hopes this helps.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,I use a vibrator and a water-based lubricant. I experimented with different sizes and models until I discovered what was most pleasurable for me. There are times when I can use my finger, but this is less effective. The constant, consistent and more intense vibration created by a vibrator has proven to give me the greatest level of intensity necessary to bring me to orgasm. Direct stimulation to the clitoris allows me to climax. I didn’t learn to masturbate until my late 20s. I’d encourage women to be more open to exploring their own bodies more and to be more willing to experiment with their sexuality with respect to physically loving themselves. Masturbation has been quite liberating for me. I’d recommend Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson. I’d like to know why women are so hesitant to enjoy themselves but so free to allow someone else the pleasure of their sacred selves?
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,Science is not the only means by which we base our lives,conduct, or beliefs. So why is that so many aethists reject God, simply because there is no scientific basis to support the idea of God? Is there a scientific basis for why we love or why we value what we do? Do you conduct a scientific experiment to determine whether you’re going to protect your child or love your mate? This may seems totally off base, but this business about science and God being at odds seems incredibly limited as well. Science would have you beleive in spontaneous combustion. Now that’s not farfetched?Something went Bang!! And here we are? the idea of a supreme being who has orchestrated a complete, divine order of the stars and heavens doesn’t seem anymore outrageous. Lastly, there’s a saying, ‘Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.’ Okay, can’t get with religion. Okay. But, what does that have to do with God? You’re born in the likeness and image of God. That power lives within in you. Religion is, for many, the vehicle by which we experience God, but it doesn’t have to be the only way.If you must, throw out the bathwater, but keep the Source. Peace, Zawadi
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,I honestly can’t tell you why gum chewing, actually cracking gum, seems to be more popular among black women in particular, but I can remember growing up and noticing that there was a particular skill associated with cracking gum. Many lower-class, and in my own experience, blue collar women, did this with relish. While my mother enjoyed cracking, she reserved this kind of behavior for home or in the company of close friends. But she wouldn’t be caught in public exhibiting this kind of behavior. She considered it rude, but obviously it was a habit, and she enjoyed it. It’s interesting, too, that now in her 50s, my mother no longer does this. None of my friends nor my sister nor cousins do this. At the risk of sounding snobbish, we considered this behavior crude and uncultured.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,VINOD: Your guess is as good as mine. I’ve read the other responses, and I don’t agreed with this logic to justify, glorify, romantisize bull-. Nigger is not acceptable, period. I won’t call anyone camel jockey, nigger, nigga, a-raab, or any other variants. There is power in the words we use. Now, deflate its power by not reacting; okay, I can buy that, but I have yet to hear a legimate argument that explains the necessity to use these terms in the first place. Are our vocabularies that limited? That could lead to an entire new discussion. Why does the average American have an average 8th grade reading level and a 30-40% decrease in vocabulary than the average student had when our grand parents completed high school? You can call me gal, sista, dreads(friends only),black,african-american, momma, but don’t call me n-!
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,While I can empathize with your concern for groups that are not more popular (for lack of a better word), I feel my arm hairs raising just a tad by your commentary. Being black, afflicted by AIDS or the victim of discrimination shouldn’t be categorized or trivalized as ‘fads.’ Where do we as a society get off determining that the aforementioned groups are more or less important than others? Someone who suffers from AIDS deserves the same access to medical care and empathy as the child who suffers from cystic fribrosis. The difference in media attention is not only influenced by our personal prejudices but by the availability of resources and personal efforts. If you feel some groups are not receiving the aid they deserve, then act. Don’t simply complain. As a black woman, I’ll tell you that whining isn’t enough. Don’t expect someone else to do more for you (or others) than you’re willing to do yourself. People support what’s important to them. I am a bone marrow, organ and blood donor (can someone tell me why minorities are so poorly represented among donors?. I give to several charities and support the arts. I have worked in food banks, done church work, etc.These efforts and institutions are important to me. What are you doing to make a difference?
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,I won’t speak for all black women, but I can tell you that many black women don’t shave their legs because having hairless legs is not a beauty standard in our culture. Many black men have told me that they find hairy legs sexy, much as they find full hips attractive. Others say they have no preference. I do have a few girlfriends who shave their legs, and of those who do, it’s because they have particularly hairy legs. I’m 34 and have only shaved my legs three times. I was competing in amateur bodybuilding. Maybe color has something to do with it, too. I’m brown-skinned, with hair slightly darker. Hair on my legs does not create a stark contrast, and the amount of hair is nothing like a hairy guy. It really comes down to preferences.
I have recognized a few other beauty standard differences between black and white women. When I was growing up, I noticed that white girls tended to wear makeup, particularly foundation, a lot sooner and more often than my black girlfriends. I noticed that young black girls tended to have their ears pierced at an earlier age, and I guess because of physical development, I noticed that young white girls tended to go a lot longer and more often braless. Look at fashion magazines. What’s displayed as beautiful women diffes between mainstream magazines with white women on the cover and minority publications devoted to black women.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,
