Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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- Cheryl: I do take offense whether the offender is black or white. I do not tell racist jokes and I do not laugh at them. No, let me be painfully honest. Most of the time, I do not laugh. Sometimes comedy triggers a reaction whether it's politically correct or not.I also happen to think we throw the word racist around rather loosely.Prejudicial is one thing. I'd reserve racist for venomous, extreme ideas, opinions or actions. If we're talking about blatant disregard directed at someone solely based on race I take serious offense, and I say so. Too many of my friends and family are either of mixed heritage or involved with someone who isn't black or someone who isn't black is a friend of mine. How could I tolerate someone disrespecting someone I profess is important to me. Ethically, how do I profess to be living a spiritual life and tolerate irreverance towards another human being period? We are children of one God.I want to be valued as such. Likewise, I try to exhibit that same value towards everyone I interact with.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,I agree with another respondent that we may be playing too much of race in the equation. My experience has been that many folks across the board are uncomfortable with direct eye contact, especially with someone they do not know personally. I have often wondered why folks quickly lower their eyes when they make contact with me. It hasn't occured to me that it has to do with me being black since this has occurred other blacks as well.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Haze: How many times are we going to go around the block with discussion? Please, do us all a favor and simply do a search in the archives of Y? This is really getting old. Honestly, can we move race discussions to another level, already? If you have done any reading on this site, you'll find this question has been asked at least a dozen times. We could better use space and time discussing other concerns. I don't mean to come off insensitive. I'm simply tired of seeing this question.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Cheryl: Be careful not to group folks so generally. All black folks are not related. All black people do not think alike or like the same things. It would be more productive and less offensive,when making inquiries that your post reflect some respect for individuality and personal values. I am black, and I do not tolerate the double standard you describe. I do not laugh at racist jokes and I do verbalize my displeasure to anyone who causually sprinkles deragotory comments in their conversation about someone different from themselves in my presence. I believe in human rights and respect for everyone. I am not a Louis Farrakhan supporter. However, I'd suggest that you not confuse agreement with something Farrakhan or any other controversial figure says with allegiance.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,M: Thanks for the suggestion. I will attempt to make it easier for guests to respond. However, this does not directly answer why invitees do not respond and whether they consider no response as inconsiderate. One person who responded directly to me expressed similar frustration with black girlfriends' failure to respond. She spent a great deal of time and money on a particular affair, and only a handful showed up. Folks hadn't bothered to phone or express regret afterward for not attending. Then when she had subsequent affairs and these same guests were not invited, they became offended. It's OK not to respond or attend, but you expect to be invited to future parties?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,M: Thanks for the suggestion. I will attempt to make it easier for guests to respond. However, this does not directly answer why invitees do not respond and whether they consider no response as inconsiderate. It's also interesting that there are no other responses posted (To the editors: Is this because you have chosen not to address the post with more coverage of a lack thereof?). I did receive one personal response, and the respondent expressed similar frustration with Black girlfriends' failure to respond. She spent a great deal of time and money on a particular affair, and only a handful showed up. Folks hadn't bothered to phone or express regret afterwards for not attending. Then when she had subsequent affairs and these same guests were not invited, they became offended. It's okay not to respond or attend, but you expect to be invited to future parties?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,My first thought was why would I care what color a musician was? If I'm enjoying the music, what difference would it matter to me what color the artist is? Of course, I'm one individual. I also happen to be a black woman who loves classical, New Age, Celtic, and alternative/folk music as well as R&B. I grew up on jazz, Motown and R&B of the '70s and '80s. I thought with respect to the arts, most people focused on the art itself. Maybe I am naive.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,It seems to me that the most logical way to describe someone is to identify their most distinguishing features. Now if the office is 99 percent white or male, why not preface your description with the obvious? Of course, some of us are sensitive either about being offended or offending. But, if you want to describe this sista, don't sweat yourself unnecessarily. I work in a corporate environment (predominately white, female, middle class). Tell Joe that Zawadi is that fine black woman with gorgeous locks!User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Lucy: Once a friend of mine made a comment like that to me. I laughed and told her I would hope she would notice that I'm Black. I'm proud of my culture and my individuality, which is in part shaped by my color, age, sex, education,etc. I told her that I don't ignore or deny that she's Italian, I simply don't let our obvious differences have a greater or lesser value on how I relate to her as a person. Example, if someone asked me to describe my friend Tracey, the first thing I'd tell you was that she's Italian or White. Can't understand why we're so afraid to use the terms Black and White. It's a distinguishing feature. And for me these descriptions are nuetral. If a friend of mine(let's say someone White) wanted to describe me to someone else White, I'd say tell them I'm Black. I wear locks, short, in my 30's,etc. Honestly, color and other distinguishing features is how I describe folks. I hope folks aren't offended. I'm being honest. Why should anyone be apprehensive about acknowledging diversity?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Murray: By the way, did you know that the average welfare receipient has 1.2 children? That's interesting especially since that's about the same average for middle class folks.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Ms.Carter: Can you be more specific? Your question is too general to understand what exactly it is that you need. Are you interested in different diversity programs currently in place in corporate arenas,or the demographics of groups in different industries? When you ask about cultural beliefs, what specifically are you referring to? Some of my beliefs I suspect affect my views/actions in the workforce and others do not, and I'm not quite sure what is a cultural belief as oppose to a personal one? Please, clarify. I'd be interested in hearing your objective and the opinions of others. Good luck. Would you be interested in private correspondence? If so, include your e-mail.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Murray, in many states, welfare recipients' medical coverage does not cover birth control, and many of the working poor do not have insurance at all. So what are you suggesting? If you're poor, you should be celibate? Maybe the poor should be sterilized? Considering that you identify yourself as middle class, just how far removed are you from ever being destitute?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Does this mean cooking isn't permitted as well? If so, do you fast on this day or are meals prepared in advance and served cold? How do you handle the cleanup afterwards? I have always wondered about eating on this day. Since we're on the subject, what about bathing? Is this a form of work? I hope this doesn't sound like a stupid question, but I guess I'm really not sure what constitutes 'work'.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,These blanket questions gain so few yards in understanding. Not in a million years would I ask "What does white people's hair feel like?" (partly because I already know).To answer you directly, it depends on the particular texture of our hair. I'll tell you about my household: I wear locks. My hair doesn't have any chemical (relaxer) in it. I naturally have soft, coily hair that doesn't have much density. I'm not exactly sure what wool feels like, but I have heard references that black hair has a woolly feel. I suspect my hair is a cross between this and a little coarser than cotton balls. My locks are uniform in shape and size. Many have commented that my locks 'feel' softer than they 'look.' My oldest daughter has a perm (straightened hair). She keeps it conditioned fairly well, but she also puts a lot of heat on it. (I have a typical hip hop kid.) Her hair is softer than my locks (provided it doesn't have hair spray on it) and is thicker than mine. Still, she doesn't have what would be called thick hair (a great number of hair strands from a single hair folic). My youngest daughter has a head full of thick, dark brown hair. It has never been chemically treated. When washed, she has beautiful ringlets all over her head, and it is a tangled mess. Her hair is oilier than mine and my eldest child's. Her hair has a natural, wavy pattern. It requires a lot of brushing and needs to be conditioned well to keep it manageable. I put little oil on it. Otherwise it holds a lot of dirt and becomes coarser to the touch. My oldest daughter and I both use a light oil more frequently to keep our hair properly moisturized, which prevents breakage. Hopes this helps.
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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,I use a vibrator and a water-based lubricant. I experimented with different sizes and models until I discovered what was most pleasurable for me. There are times when I can use my finger, but this is less effective. The constant, consistent and more intense vibration created by a vibrator has proven to give me the greatest level of intensity necessary to bring me to orgasm. Direct stimulation to the clitoris allows me to climax. I didn't learn to masturbate until my late 20s. I'd encourage women to be more open to exploring their own bodies more and to be more willing to experiment with their sexuality with respect to physically loving themselves. Masturbation has been quite liberating for me. I'd recommend Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson. I'd like to know why women are so hesitant to enjoy themselves but so free to allow someone else the pleasure of their sacred selves?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,
