Your reaction

What you’re saying

“Your web site is the most addicting thing I have seen. I love it. I will probably get fired for being on it all day, while at work. It is brilliant, simply brilliant…”

– Andy R., male, Ohio

“This is the best forum I’ve seen so far. My donation is in the mail.”
– Samm, African-American female, Boston, MA

“A revolutionary site.”
– University of Wisconsin Office of Equal Opportunity and Diversity Programs

“This white male has put Y? Forum in his ‘cool’ bookmark directory.”
– Mark S., Houston, TX

“Rarely do I ever submit feedback about the quality of a website, but I stumbled upon yours in an attempt to answer a racially oriented curiosity, and I have to say, it is the epitome of what is right with the Internet. It is informative and, surprisingly, full of intelligent questions and answers, and free of the general riff-raff to which most frequent surfers have grown accustomed. Where my intentions might be misconstrued as rude in person by my body language, voice intonation or merely the subject of my question, I can ask a logical and sincere query on your site and receive a wide cultural reach of answers. YForum is one of the best sites on the Internet. Oh yes – and I did find many answers to my question.”
– Brian Black, Georgia Institute of Technology

“A brilliant avenue for real learning and understanding. My goodness, if any one web page can change the world, this is the one!”
– Steve Russillo

“Your web site touches millions and is such a powerful venue. You are so doing the right thing, and thank you for having the courage to open communication.”
– Barbara Carolyn, 24, white female, Portland, ME

“You have allowed sharp, penetrating and even controversial questions without allowing the questions or answers to cause anger and hatred. We actively encourage our employees to log onto the Y? Forum for their own education.”
– Steve Rockey, Shell Deer Park Chemical Plant Diversity Council, Deer Park, Texas

“I found your link through an article in The Boston Globe and find it a wonderful place to visit. Thanks for doing it. I plan to give a donation to support your work.”
– Edie Patterson, National Civic League, Washington, DC

“I think this site, and the idea behind it, is absolutely inspired. Your site really fortified my belief in people, and therefore my spirit, when I came across it a while ago. I don’t believe that aggression is the natural human response to difference; I think it’s curiosity. An almost tender, delicate curiosity that intends no harm, and has respect at its quizzical, interested core. As far as I know, there’s no other forum apart from Y? where this aspect of people’s nature can express itself, and it’s a positive aspect – people accepting other people’s difference and wanting to know more -wanting to see how the world looks through someone else’s eyes, from someone else’s perspective. There’s a great deal of respect at the heart of that. Reactionaries never bother to ask questions.”
– Billie, female, Manchester, England

“I sample your site frequently, and after a visit, I can experience a complete range of emotions: hope, sadness, anger and sometimes despair. The world is a very interesting place, and I find that Y? sometimes puts a very fine point on it. Thank you for helping me see some things I had always sensed to be true, but could only keep to myself.”
– Matthew, gay male, New York

“Confused, amused, offended or down-right angry, I’m always ready for more of your wonderful questions and responses. With all the crap floating around on the Internet, it’s refreshing to see something that can provoke such intriguing responses. I’m not a charitable person by nature, but you’ve put me in such a good mood I’m going to pry the wallet open to offer a little help. Carry on!”
– Brian H., Denver, CO

“On behalf of the Ocean County Library System’s Diversity Committee, I would like to thank you for your inspiring and well-executed Y? Forum presentation. Based on the evaluations of staff members in attendance, your program was very well-received. Here are some of the highlights:

-Very entertaining and enlightening – gave me some new understanding.
-Excellent presenter – had a great presentation and manner of presenting difficult questions.
-Interesting, innovative – opened a new door to the world.
-Very thought-provoking.

It was uplifting to see how open discussion of our differences can lead to the road of understanding and acceptance for all types of people. We wish you much continued success with Y? Forum. It was truly a pleasure to experience a small taste of what your web site had to offer.”
– Valerie Bell, Diversity Outreach Subcommittee Chair, Ocean County Library System, Lakewood, NJ

“Y? rocks! My friend accidentally stumbled upon it while doing research for a paper, and I happened to be close enough to hear her exclamation concerning its awesome-ness. I have just been browsing the site and had to stop to email my astonishment and elation at what Y? is trying to do, and doing. I can’t wait to tell all my friends about it, and I think they will be amazed and grateful as well. Thank you for your ingenuity.”
– Leanne Alaman, 19, African American/Caucasion (to name a few) female, Walla Walla, WA

“Your site is hilarious, but most of all interesting. I even found out some things that have been bothering me for years.”
– Jenni Tapanila, 21, white female, Helsinki, Finland

“The book Wet Dogs is an enjoyable, stimulating and provocative read. The web site Y? is a unique new resource available to help the people of the world get smarter about ourselves. It allows us to self-educate ourselves at our discretion about cultural differences and issues of diversity that just moments before seemed impossible to learn. Y? is a wellspring of important new information and dialogue that you should check out today.”
– Bill Goss, internationally known speaker; author, The Luckiest Unlucky Man Alive

“Y? is a very positive resource. I don’t mind the tough questions, emotional issues or the reality that, to some, my blackness is confusing, frustrating or even intriguing.”
– Dee W., black female, Cleveland, OH

“Your site is awesome and often gets me thinking on issues I had never thought about. It’s pungent, provocative and extremely bold. Great work!”
– Atirath Aich, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

“I’m so busted. I often stereotypically refer to men as perfunctory morons for one reason or another. Sometimes I’m soooo wrong! I just spent a considerable amount of time browsing your site. The content is awesome. Thanks for being on this planet.”
– Mendy J.

“I just have to say that this is one of the best sites I have come across. I will be spreading the word!”
– Laura Selken, 39, white Christian female, Iowa

“Just a note to thank you for the program you did for the Center for the Study of Religious Freedom at Virginia Wesleyan College. Your presentation, And Now for Something Completely Different: Achieving Civility by Asking Questions Worth a Smack on the Head from Mom! was the perfect rousing and rowdy finish to our Spring 2K Symposium, “Religious Freedom and Civility in the Public Square.” I especially appreciated your selection of questions and responses from the Y? Forum section on religion � they were striking, and, indeed, poignant testimonies to our human capacity for both strange curiosity about, and touching patience with, those who are different from ourselves. Comments from our audience in answer to our query, “What did you learn during this program?” included, “The value of ‘useless’ information” and that ‘we insulate ourselves with political correctness and never really get to know other people.'” I especially valued your commentary on the Y? Forum�s version of the rules of civility: Ask anything, as long as it is asked with benign intent, in good faith and out of honest curiosity. As the Center continues its mission to educate about religious freedom issues and encourage dialogue among people of good will, your courage and example offer us a few valuable markers on the path less trodden. Thank you!”
– Catharine Cookson, J.D., Ph.D.; Director, The Center for the Study of Religious Freedom at Virginia Wesleyan College

“I just discovered your site today and have spent most of the day reading it rather than working on all these piles of work on my desk. It’s really fascinating reading.”
– Darren H.

“The Y? Forum is a wonderful example of a web site where readers can safely ask and follow discussions on sensitive cross-cultural topics without having to wade through foul language or flame wars.”
– Bell Atlantic Chairman and CEO Raymond W. Smith
From a speech on the proliferation of “cyberhate” on the Internet delivered Dec. 1, 1998, at the Simon Wiesenthal Center/Museum of Tolerance

“I just want to say … Thank You. I go to (Y?) almost every other day. I think this project is really great. Open discussion and expression, a free marketplace of ideas, is the real key to combating ignorance. You guys are really making a difference.”
– Nathan H., St. Louis, Mo.

“This is the strangest site I’ve ever seen.”
– Rachel Adams, 26, African-American female, Minnesota

“On behalf of the Child Welfare League of America Walker Trieschman Center, I would like to thank you for speaking at the 2001 Finding Better Ways conference. Your talk was a perfect blend of humor and serious thoughts and ideas. We appreciate your taking the time to share with us how we can learn from each other to be sensitive to differences. The conference was a huge success, due in large part to your presentation.”
– Floyd J. Alwon, Director, Walker Trieschman Center, CWLA

“Thanks for a great job and a great service! Last night I got my biggest kick out of a letter and its response. An African American emailed complaining about crazy whites. A white man wrote in to say some blacks are crazy, too. Then a South American topped them all and put things in perspective by saying that all those weird behaviors were American! I loved it!”
– Diane Judge, 45, African-American female, Durham, NC

“Phillip Milano’s presentation, Asking Questions … Worth a Smack on the Head from Mom, was a big eye-opener for the participants (of the national Working With People Of Color Conference). Those who attended left eager to log onto the Y? web site (www.yforum.com), a resource where answers to questions on others’ ethnic backgrounds and cultures can be found. This educational tool is unique, providing a neutral and uninhibited way for anyone, lay persons and professionals, to find answers to ‘inappropriate questions’ about cultures different from their own. This resource is needed in society today, where individuals frequently encounter ethnic and racial differences and barriers on the job and in their personal lives.”
– Davia Isleib, Coordinator, National “Working With People Of Color” Conference, Jacksonville, Fla.

“This project of yours really is interesting, and it kind of makes me feel like I am not the only one who thinks that way. Good work.”
– Maria Federley, 18, white female, Helsinki, Finland

“A moderated bulletin board in grand form, Y? provides a forum in which readers may submit a question about some aspect of another’s culture or social group, with an answer usually provided by readers from that group. Topics are often provocative.”
– Queens Borough Public Library, NY

“I am the senior class president at a high school with a wide variety of people, with a wide variety of views, and thus, a wide range of social misunderstandings. It’s great to find another tool I can use to promote tolerance and openness. I encourage all of my peers to log on to the Y? site.”
– Lauren De Vine, Sacramento, CA

“A topical forum for people to talk about their differences. This is a big, well-maintained site which might be useful for participation or applied research assignments.”
– “Empathy,” a listing of web-based resources for interpersonal and small group communication classes; moderated by professors at Rutgers University, St. Johns University and Columbus State University

“Thank you for this site. I read the postings several times a week and have responded to and asked several questions. This is one of the real positive things about the Internet. People can ask and answer questions they may not be able to ask on a personal basis. And we definitely need forums that increase our understanding of one another. Thank you again for you dedication.”
– Lucy Hernandez, San Jose, CA

“A revolutionary site.”
– Illinois State Office for Diversity and Affirmative Action

“As a professional anthropologist, I think that what Y? accomplishes is critical for our times.”
– John Hoopes, associate professor of anthropology, University of Kansas

“The 2000 Michigan Public Relations Society of America State Conference was very well received this year. In fact, we continue to receive positive feedback on the session topics and quality of speakers. You were a major contributor to our success. We appreciate you taking the time out of your schedule to join us.”
– Gayle A. Joseph, Jeanine Mixdorf, Lynne D. Morrison, co-chairs, 2000 Michigan PRSA State Conference Committee

“This is the best site I have ever seen that deals with any of these issues! There are so many people who otherwise would never have their questions answered and go on believing their misconception without a website like this. What you have done is so important. I am not afraid to ask people questions, but I have still learned things from this site and have had e-mail interactions with a few of the people. They have not been anything but respectful. You really have attracted a group who really are trying to understand or at least accept others different from themselves.”
– Cindy Lee

“Your site is outstanding. As one who has spent his life trying to be free of prejudice and working with an array of organizations to contribute to this effort, your contribution is excellent. Yes – it is full of stereotypical responses to questions; yes – there is enormous misinformation in people’s comments; and yes – the inaccuracies of other groups as well as the writer’s own are almost laughable at times. In spite of all this, the essential ingredient is the beginning of a dialogue. That is quite positive.”
– Bob Balogh

“I have just spent the last four hours reading various questions and answers posed by readers of Y? I am thrilled that this forum is available to anyone with access to an Internet computer. I am even more thrilled and encouraged that the most articulate and human responses come from readers aged 30 and under. I am left with a feeling of hope and encouragement that one day gender, race, sexual orientation and all of the “isms” that have separated society will fade away and become moot! I would love to host you or a member of the Y? team as a guest speaker for my organization.”
– V. Bell

“When it comes to increasing our diversity awareness, we may choose to engage in a number of activities to move outside of our comfort zone. One simple activity that may assist us in moving beyond simple awareness is logging onto the Internet at www.yforum.com … Upon entering the home page, one immediately gets exposure to the value that this web site provides … So when you think about the tools you have access to regarding your growth in the area of diversity, consider Y? This is yet another way to step outside of your comfort zone, while in the comfort of your own home.”
– Cindy Persico, Director of Diversity, Jacksonville Chapter of The Society for Human Resource Management, Jacksonville, Fla.

“You probably don’t need to read more kudos for your inventive way of tapping into our unique ‘American’ problem of race and how to confront it. Today on The Ananda Lewis Show was the first time I learned about your book and fully intend to purchase a copy. I am so grateful this has come about. Thank you and congratulations for your accomplishment. What you are trying to do and have done cannot be easy. I plan on visiting the site often and respond when I can, and ask those ’embarassing’ questions I have on my mind as well. What I find here I hope will put us a lot closer to understanding each other than we have done in so many years past.”
– D. Lawrence

“A safe place to ask questions you’d be too embarrassed or afraid of giving offense to ask directly of a person of a different sex, race, ethnic group, sexual orientation or religion. A valuable chance to replace stereotypes and ignorance with understanding.”
– Marylaine Block, “Librarian Without Walls”

“I like being able to let people in on the knowledge I have gained from life. Being a young female student, I can answer questions from a different perspective than many.”
– Hilary Wisler, Lawrence, KS

“Phil was the keynote speaker at a diversity workshop sponsored by the Cleveland and Akron area chapters of the Public Relations Society of America in September 1998. His presentation received some of the highest marks on our evaluations. Most participants found his presentation and web site thought-provoking, and his presentation generated excellent discussions during the following sessions. I believe what Phil Milano is doing is important for all of us in business. His web site provides a means for us to better understand one another, which in turn fosters improved communication. His message is particularly compelling for professionals in our field of public relations because our success so often depends on building relationships and opening lines of communication.”
– Barbara N. Paynter, APR, Senior Account Executive; member, Akron PRSA

“As an educational tool in helping people to understand questions and issues from a variety of viewpoints, Y? is an excellent resource.”
– Cindy Clardy, corporate diversity council member, Southfield, MI

“I read your web site at least two to three times a week. It was the topic of discussion in our Cross-Cultural psychology class this semester.”
– Leah, 27, psychology student

“I encourage you to visit this Web site. When it comes to communicating with people and/or about issues with which we [PR professionals] are not entirely familiar, a little advance research can�t hurt. Some examples are humorous, while others are quite serious. The point is we often don�t know as much as we should about our individual differences and words or phrases that hurt or anger, even if the information we are communicating is technically correct.”
– Mary Yerrick, president, National Capital Chapter, Public Relations Society of America, Washington, D.C.

“The Y? Forum is effective because you can ask those silly questions, even when you know they are silly.”
– Issac B., 25, black male, journalist, Myrtle Beach, SC

“Just wanted to thank you for the job you folks are doing on this web site. I stumbled upon it by accident and spent all night just reading. It’s quite rare that one finds a web site with so much good content. As a gay male in his twenties, I’m finding your web site a great comfort to read because I’m realizing more and more that there are lots of people out there who feel the same way I do. I don’t feel so isolated anymore.”
– Michael T. Gilbert

“My wife and I (both white, age 35, middle class, 4 years of college) have been looking at your site for years. What a great opportunity to ask and respond to questions without fear of retribution. Keep up the good work!”
– Andy

“I know absolutely nothing about other races, religions, sexual orientations, etc., other than my own. I think this is a fantastic idea.”
– Jen, 28, single white female, Royal Oak, MI

“I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised by the level of discussion that goes on and by the general good spirit in which the questions are asked.”
– Anita Williams, Intercultural Center Co-Founder, Brandeis University, Waltham, MA

“Congratulations for coming up with the idea! You have created the ideal world where honest curiosity and questions are welcomed. Too many of us are frowned upon or treated as ignorant because we have no knowledge of something we have never been taught or had the resources to learn.”
– Anne Marie Goodwin, white female, Ontario, Canada

“Thank you for providing this forum – too bad people cannot handle honesty such as this face to face. Keep up the good work!”
– G.E. Long, African-American female, Chicago

“I just wanted to write you and tell you guys what an awesome idea the Y? Forum is! I have not had a chance to read the whole site yet, but I definitely plan on it. I have found what I have read so far to be fantastic. I think that this web site definitely has the potential to help educate many, many people. Today, individuals in society have the advantage of having access to information right at their fingertips that was previously unimagineable to people. What better way of using this information access than bringing people of all backgrounds from all over the world together to discuss their differences and similarities?”
– Paul Reed

“Just found this site this morning. I really think it is a very useful and interesting site. Thank you for a non-threatening place to ask what would normally be questions that might be resented, ignored or dismissed as being in ‘bad taste.'”
– E. Baker

“Finally! Someone who is exploiting the potential of the web. Here’s a thanks from the depths of my mind and my heart. You have inspired me. When I have some free cash, I’ll be sending some your way to support your effort.”
– Henry Bachofer

“I just wanted to let you know again that you’re doing a great job with Y? I’m always fascinated by the questions and answers, every time I check in.”
– Larry Gritz, Richmond, CA

“I think it is a wonderful idea to have a forum for exchanging values, attitudes and opinions as well as to learn what others think, hopefully to move toward understanding and reconciliation for those who feel set aside or marginalized by the behavior and thinking of others.”
– Lou Ball

“This is a wonderful thing you are doing. Interesting, enlightening, occasionally infuriating. All the things it should be.”
– Marcia L.

“I think your site is a fantastic idea. I have spent hours going through the various questions and responses, responding to some but reading almost all of them. This web site has opened my eyes to many things, and I can honestly say that it is so refreshing to see that there are so many people who feel as strongly as I do against racism, sexism, etc. This web site has created an interesting, honest discussion about many issues, and the best thing about it is that many different viewpoints are heard, unlike newspaper editorials that are so cramped for space that very few people get to have their voice heard.”
– Nneka N., black female, Detroit, MI

“I’m a 15-year-old from a small, mainly white town. I was watching a TVO program called Mr. Jones. I heard about your site from there. I decided to check it out, and I was really amazed. There are really a lot of intelligent questions at this site, and I just wanted to tell you that I think this site is a great place for people (especially those from mono-ethnically concentrated areas such as mine) to ask questions. It was a great experience, and I just wanted to say thanks.”
– Durk Townsend, Ontario, Canada