Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
Forum Replies Created
- Posts
- Science is not the only means by which we base our lives,conduct, or beliefs. So why is that so many aethists reject God, simply because there is no scientific basis to support the idea of God? Is there a scientific basis for why we love or why we value what we do? Do you conduct a scientific experiment to determine whether you're going to protect your child or love your mate? This may seems totally off base, but this business about science and God being at odds seems incredibly limited as well. Science would have you beleive in spontaneous combustion. Now that's not farfetched?Something went Bang!! And here we are? the idea of a supreme being who has orchestrated a complete, divine order of the stars and heavens doesn't seem anymore outrageous. Lastly, there's a saying, 'Don't throw out the baby with the bath water.' Okay, can't get with religion. Okay. But, what does that have to do with God? You're born in the likeness and image of God. That power lives within in you. Religion is, for many, the vehicle by which we experience God, but it doesn't have to be the only way.If you must, throw out the bathwater, but keep the Source. Peace, Zawadi
User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,I honestly can't tell you why gum chewing, actually cracking gum, seems to be more popular among black women in particular, but I can remember growing up and noticing that there was a particular skill associated with cracking gum. Many lower-class, and in my own experience, blue collar women, did this with relish. While my mother enjoyed cracking, she reserved this kind of behavior for home or in the company of close friends. But she wouldn't be caught in public exhibiting this kind of behavior. She considered it rude, but obviously it was a habit, and she enjoyed it. It's interesting, too, that now in her 50s, my mother no longer does this. None of my friends nor my sister nor cousins do this. At the risk of sounding snobbish, we considered this behavior crude and uncultured.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Thanks L.S. Your observations are correct as are those from A.C.C. Christopher, nothing is free. As a former reciepent, let me tell you that the government didn't give me a handout. Are you familiar with the term 'the working poor'. Many people work everyday, but still cannot provide for all of their family's needs. Secondly, food stamps hardly buy enough groceries for a month. Take it from a sista who counted every penny, clipped every coupon,and went to the grocery store with an itemized list that already calculated the projected cost. Once a month, it was a personal challenge to see if I could beat 'my list'. Thirdly, the government funds social programs with tax dollars. It's not their money; it's the tax payers money. Yours truly has held a job (and for most of my working days, 2-3 jobs simulanteously)since I was 12 years old. When I collected assistance from the goverment, I wasn't receiving a handout; instead, I was benefitting from the dollars I have contributed these programs.And did you know that pay for servicemen is so marginal, that our men and women in uniform are often reciepents for food stamps? Let's kill this overstated stereotype of the welfare momma living high on the hill. Trust me, she's not feeding her babies shrimp scampi and steak. She's more likely baking the chicken on Monday, and on Tuesday making chicken noodle soup.I did anyway. And by the third week, she's hustlin' a ride to the soup kitchen for a monthly steipent of staples and a few fresh produce items and then picking up her co-op ration from the neighborhood center if she's lucky enough to have one in her area. Lastly, many lower income individuals are heavier not because they're eating well rather they're consuming fatty, filling foods and stocking up a bargain staples like mac & chz and 5 loaves of bleached bread from the local thrift bakery.If you haven't been poor, please don't make presumptions, demeaning generalizations about circumstances that you haven't had the misfortune to endure.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,While I can empathize with your concern for groups that are not more popular (for lack of a better word), I feel my arm hairs raising just a tad by your commentary. Being black, afflicted by AIDS or the victim of discrimination shouldn't be categorized or trivalized as 'fads.' Where do we as a society get off determining that the aforementioned groups are more or less important than others? Someone who suffers from AIDS deserves the same access to medical care and empathy as the child who suffers from cystic fribrosis. The difference in media attention is not only influenced by our personal prejudices but by the availability of resources and personal efforts. If you feel some groups are not receiving the aid they deserve, then act. Don't simply complain. As a black woman, I'll tell you that whining isn't enough. Don't expect someone else to do more for you (or others) than you're willing to do yourself. People support what's important to them. I am a bone marrow, organ and blood donor (can someone tell me why minorities are so poorly represented among donors?. I give to several charities and support the arts. I have worked in food banks, done church work, etc.These efforts and institutions are important to me. What are you doing to make a difference?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Lucy: More accurately, humans are omnivores. We eat both animal- and plant-based foods. Furthermore, meat was not always a major component of the human diet. Study history and evolution of our species and you'll discover, based on geography and time periods, that our dependence on meat was considerably less than it is in contemporary times. The advent of refrigeration, better preservation methods and economics have played a major role in the distribution and consumption of meat. Killing for food is understandable. Sport-killing is unconscionable. I thought we were supposed to be the most civilized, and possess the highest intelligence, among all species. Why then are we the only animal that kills for fun?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,VINOD: Your guess is as good as mine. I've read the other responses, and I don't agreed with this logic to justify, glorify, romantisize bull-. Nigger is not acceptable, period. I won't call anyone camel jockey, nigger, nigga, a-raab, or any other variants. There is power in the words we use. Now, deflate its power by not reacting; okay, I can buy that, but I have yet to hear a legimate argument that explains the necessity to use these terms in the first place. Are our vocabularies that limited? That could lead to an entire new discussion. Why does the average American have an average 8th grade reading level and a 30-40% decrease in vocabulary than the average student had when our grand parents completed high school? You can call me gal, sista, dreads(friends only),black,african-american, momma, but don't call me n-!User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,I won't speak for all black women, but I can tell you that many black women don't shave their legs because having hairless legs is not a beauty standard in our culture. Many black men have told me that they find hairy legs sexy, much as they find full hips attractive. Others say they have no preference. I do have a few girlfriends who shave their legs, and of those who do, it's because they have particularly hairy legs. I'm 34 and have only shaved my legs three times. I was competing in amateur bodybuilding. Maybe color has something to do with it, too. I'm brown-skinned, with hair slightly darker. Hair on my legs does not create a stark contrast, and the amount of hair is nothing like a hairy guy. It really comes down to preferences.I have recognized a few other beauty standard differences between black and white women. When I was growing up, I noticed that white girls tended to wear makeup, particularly foundation, a lot sooner and more often than my black girlfriends. I noticed that young black girls tended to have their ears pierced at an earlier age, and I guess because of physical development, I noticed that young white girls tended to go a lot longer and more often braless. Look at fashion magazines. What's displayed as beautiful women diffes between mainstream magazines with white women on the cover and minority publications devoted to black women.
User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,I pray neither to a black nor white God. I do not visualize God in a human expression. I believe God is spirit.To backtrack a little, I do believe I can perceive God in other people. In a poetic sense, I believe each of us is an individual expression of God.
Now, if I had to choose a human form, God would be female and multiracial or black, since the first man is almost uniformly accepted to have originated in Africa.
Jesus is another matter. I find it very difficult to accept Him as portrayed in most paintings as white. He is described in the Bible as having curly/wooly hair and as being Jewish. It seems unlikely he looked like the Eurocentric image we're used to seeing. And many of us know that Jews can be quite dark in complexion. I'm curious: What prompts your question? Have you read James Mcbride's book The Color of Water? Good book. Pick it up if you have the opportunity. It's fiction. Not too deep, but moving nonetheless.
User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Mike: Did you thoroughly read Tony's response? He didn't make excuses. He stated facts. He didn't whine or blame all whites for anything. In my mind, racism is institutional, a mindset that affects us all.Why is that so difficult to accept? There's a saying, paraphrased, 'When you're white, you don't think about it. When you're black, you never forget it.' Well,tht's because alot of other folks don'tlet blacks forget.Have you heard about dwb's Driving While Black)? Blacks, particularily black males being stopped by white cops simply because they're black. I worked a private party once for a wealthy Jewish family, and the grandmother asked me matter of factly if I had a maid's uniform. Mind you, I'm educated, speak standard English well, and am fairly cultured. This is private dinner party, a special occassion.I was a waitress with an upscale restaurant. I wasn't interviewing for domestic work. I have been told by whites,'You don't talk like you're black.' When I went to college, my middleclass parents paid what they could, I earned an academic scholarship, and I took out loans.Sorry, nobody handed me a check for being black. When I hired on with my current job, my immediate supervisor said she knew she wanted to hire me because of my phone message. She hadn't seen me or my resume (and remember, I sound 'white'). When she met me, her attitude didn't change(no quota filling here). Today, I'm a single parent, and yeah I got married first.I'm not sucking up your tax dollars. Not interested in fitting into your pitiful, simplistic notions about blacks and our lives. Stereotypes run both ways. I won't buy into the poor images you have of blacks, and don't you assume all of us come from underprivileged circumstances and are looking for handouts.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,What is flaming?User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,I read your post and felt hurt for you. It's sad that we treat each other so poorly, especially since we know what it means to be discriminated against. The hypocrisy is shameful. I admire your courage and strength to follow your heart despite the backlash and simply wanted to extend my encouragement and support. Do know that in Detroit there is a sista who celebrates the love you've found (he could've been green as far as I'm concerned). Lasting love is rare. Pity on those foolish folks who fail to acknowledge love for what it is: Unconditional.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Men: How many times are you going to ask this question? And how much difference are the answers going to make? Either you're small, medium, long, large, thick, thin, etc. Your anatomy isn't going to change unless you try some radical medical procedure. Your best bet is to stop obsessing about your penis size and focus on your other assets. Where did you get this notion that penis size will make or destroy a woman's interest in you? Granted, we all have preferences, but a single factor like size is not going to turn me off to someone I'm genuinely interested in (if penis size alone turns a woman away from you, you're better off without her.)I have been with men of various sizes. Admittedly, there were times when, with those who were particularily small, I was initially disappointed because I do enjoy that "full" feeling. However, if my lover was competent in other ways to pleasure me sexually, his penis size became a non-issue. If, however, he was so self-conscious about his size that it affected his confidence in his lovemaking otherwise, then it became an issue. I think the maturity of the couple involved matters, too. When I was younger, I assumed only an average or larger penis would physically be satisfying. As I got older, I became more sexually aware and experienced. Consequently, the focus of intercourse was not as focused on simple penetration, as was the case when I was in my late teens/early 20s. When having intercourse involves more than penetration and physical release, penis size is not as important (I won't say it's not desirable, just possibly less important than many men believe). Lastly, I had one lover who was particularily tall but had less than an average-size penis (so much for stereotypes about tall men with big feet; dated a few) of six inches. It didn't matter as far as I was concerned. Certain positions work better when making love with a man who's not large. My partner was also good with his hands and tongue, and he was quite creative and energetic. I very much enjoy sex, and that gentleman made me quite happy.
User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Based on your age and your question, I suspect your sexual experience is limited. I decided to answer you because something in your inquiry implied a level of sensitivity I can appreciate. Personally, there is no single position that will satisfy me every time. My advice is that you take the time to get to know your partner in the most intimate ways you can. This means talking honestly and openly as often as you can. Learn to distinguish between sensual and sexual touch. Take time to explore each other's bodies and experiment with sexual activities that are agreeable to both of you. Be sure you enjoy each other in non-sexual ways.I have learned that what most satisfies me with a lover has less to do with the sex itself as much as it has to do how emotionally connected I am with him. In other words, I need to value/enjoy the man for who he is. Do I respect him? Do we share mutual interests/concerns? Are we compatible? I read somewhere that women want to feel safe and loved. That may seem obvious, but many of us have had sex when this criteria was not fulfilled. In some of our experiences we felt compromised, afraid and/or pressured. Some of us confuse sex with intimacy. The older I get, the more important it is for me to feel comfortable, respected, valued and loved in my relationships.
Perhaps I have missed the mark in answering your question. I admittedly am revealing my own take on sex in our relationships. To answer you on a pure physical level, I prefer the spoon position, or vaginal rear entry. I am short, so when my partner is average or tall, the conventional position is my least favorite. And unlike a common notion these days, I don't find being on top all that exciting. I prefer rather to feel the weight of my lover pressed against me.
User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,Brian: I take exception to your comment that "I've always felt that the way you speak and carry yourself is very important, and if you change the way you speak/carry yourself to fit each situation, you are not being truthful to yourself or others." Have you ever heard, "When in Rome, do as Romans do"? The purpose of language is to effectively communicate ideas from one party to another. In this light, Ebonics facilitates effective communication among its users. When you speak with a child, would you use the vocabulary appropriate for an adult audience? Or, would you use coloquialisms or provincial anecdotes in a conversation with a foreigner? Of course you wouldn't. Consequently, we all do then make adjustments in our vocabulary and sentence patterns based on the arenas in which we are interacting with others. I am not a proponent for Ebonics being taught in the schools. In my mind, this makes as much sense as teaching Spanish-speaking children formal Spanish in an English-speaking school (teaching them formal lessons in their native tongue is a different matter). Dialects or sublanguages are fully understood by the speakers. What's the point of formally teaching something that is already understood?I've heard the arguments that formal recognition of Ebonics would bolster children's self-esteem. I disagree. Teach them to be bilingual, enabling them to confidently interact with others for whom they feel are different from themselves, and you will bolster their self-esteem. Give them the tools to communicate effectively in circles outside of their comfort zones, and potential feelings of intimidation and the resentment that stems from not being taken seriously or understood will also be reduced if not eliminated. Author Merle Collins once said in an interview that at one point in her academic career she was at a crossroad regarding usage of her native tongue, Creole, specifically patroi(forgive my spelling), a combination of French and multiple African languages. Utlimately, she reconciled that she did not have to sacrifice one for the other. Instead, her writing is a masterful blend of the beauty of both Grenadian dialect and her formal British Standard English.
User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,S.R. Okay. I'm sure someone with a medical/anthropolgy background could give us an academic answer. But, keep in mind the majority of us who participate are not experts in any particular discipline. We are regular folk who have some innocuous, sometimes silly questions. Personally, I'd like to know why this question is being asked again. I'd like to know what difference does it make that blacks have larger lips than whites. Asking me about my lips, hair texture, muscular structure often times comes off silly to me. But, we are curious and we are different. Still, I've never been compelled to ask someone white why they're eyes are blue, why they burn easily in the sun, or why they have straight hair. Folks just are, period. Many blacks have full lips. Well, Ethopians generally have thin lips and noses. Same for Egytians. The people of Orrissi have straight black hair and keen features, and black skin. Why we are so preoccupied with characteristics is a question I'd like answered more than why so and so has so and so difference in their physical appearance.User Detail :
Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,
