Mark Bentley

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  • in reply to: ‘The black guy’ – offensive or not? #24435

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    My answer may sound rather passive, but take a listen. Would you say 'the black person' if you were talking directly where the 'black person' could hear? In other words, would you be comfortable saying where everyone could hear you? If not, then you might consider saying the 'guy in the red shirt' or some other less racially charged description. Identifying by racial types might not seem offensive when you are talking only to your own racial type, but when it is heard across the spectrum, you might be setting yourself up for confontation.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: AIDS in Africa a white conspiracy? #25767

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    HIV/AIDS was first diagnosed in the United States and France at approximately the same time. But the origins have been traced back to Africa; i.e., the virus had a global migration out of Africa. Check out http://www.sfaf.org or http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/dhap.htm to get some excellent historical data on the virus. Are you crazy to think it could be a conspiracy? Not at all. Our government has a poor history in regard to medicine and minority groups. But, there is a ton of medical research available on the internet that documents both strains. Information is power, and an informed community is able to deal with issues openly. The articles I have read about HIV/AIDS and the African-American community indicate that the topic is still not readily discussed, as it carries the 'gay' stigma; a stigma that hasn't yet been effectively quelled in the African-American community (or many others, for that matter). HIV/AIDS doesn't discriminate - it infects anyone who puts himself or herself at risk.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Is it legal? #27986

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    Danny, your partner is at great risk. Read the recent story of Pete Townsend? The age of consent is a very strict legal boundary for dating, and violating that boundary puts you both at risk. Frankly, I would be very wary of an adult who is willing to risk the wrath of the law to be with a minor.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Why does gay affection bother straights? #16727

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    One word: Heterocentrism. 90 to 95 percent of the population is heterosexual. They are used to seeing only heterosexual-based life around them. That is the 'norm.' Anything out of the 'norm' is immediately noticed and categorized as anything from weird to threatening. And then a response is thought of - anything from a hard stare to a hard punch or kick. The majority generally rules, although they always forget about Supreme Court rulings protecting against the 'tyranny of the majority.' Things are better now than they have been, but that is (of course) very dependent on which part of the country you happen to live in.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Hiring diversity ad nauseum? #31521

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    I am heavily involved in the diversity push at the global electronic giant I work for. I find your premise without support in my company. There is plenty of diversity in the lower levels of 'corporate,' but that mix does not extend to the upper echelons. The diversity 'glass ceiling' is still firmly in place. The only goal at this company is to have a mix that is representative of the available work force, no quota system. Seems fair enough to me. I would theorize that you are seeing a mix of ethnicity and gender where there used to be none at all, so any change seems drastic. The 'white male hegemony' is going the way of the Jurassic Age.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: How do gay men handle it? #35699

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    I agree - if I had anal sex night after night my butt would hurt way worse than hell! Not too many of us have unrestricted anal sex that often. As far as getting stretched out, well, not all that many guys have enough equipment to really cause a problem, if you get my drift. Oh yeah, some do, and indeed they cause after effects, but that goes away in a day or so. Of course, this is from an every-now-and-then recipient of anal sex. You will probably get a different answer from someone that is a little more aggressive in that area!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Lesbians who look like men… #44208

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    I think you are reaching a conclusion based on faulty data. I propose that your far greater proportion of lesbians that dress like men is based on the fact that those are the ones you tend to notice - they stand out from the crowd, so to speak. 'Lipstick' lesbians can blend in very easily and can pass without notice. Men's clothing is more comfortable, less restictive and cheaper, per my bestest butch lesbian friend. Her job, in the US Army, has her wearing the exact same clothes as the guys. Can't have a LTC wearing a dress while commanding her battalion out in the field! Clothing isn't always about 'attracting' somebody. Quite often, it's a statement of your style and comfort level.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Atheists: Here by the grace of God? #23958

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    The hardest thing for a devout Christian to do is to understand that not everybody believes just like they do. You can't conceive of not having God in your life, so you apply that to other's lives. That's the problem. You will never convince anybody to believe in God because you say it's foolish not to - you must convince them by your actions. Evangelism as a Lifestyle. Do good, don't judge, don't be intolerant and you might have others see God's light shining from you. People rarely hear God through another's voice!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Racist gay white guys #29048

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    Unfortunately, it seems the most common way for a downtrodden individual to gain self-confidence is to put down somebody else. It's a common theme. I was born and raised in the South, in the Southern Baptist church, so I certainly grew up around racism. Since coming to terms with my sexuality, I have opened my eyes to the subject of diversity. My employer stresses diversity, not just as a class to take but as a way of life in the business. I am active in many aspects of the diversity network at work, which helps me learn about my own actions and misconceptions. I work very hard to be aware of what I'm saying, thinking and doing. Not everybody wants to do that, or is as fortunate to be employed by a company that is willing to go as far as it takes. Unless any individual is willing to work at unlearning bad behaviors, well, you and I know the obvious results.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Gay marriage #35607

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    Nope, no civil legal marriage yet exists for us in the U.S. I say civil, because gay churches 'marry' homosexuals all the time. It's binding from the church standpoint, but not in the civil standpoint. Everybody has a different feel for what to be called. I personally prefer queer. Many do not. If you are not actually friends with the person in question, don't make any comments regarding their sexual orientation. It's not good manners!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Black, like LeeAnn Rimes, so what? #34308

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    I think you are receiving the backlash of what all of us see on popular TV. MTV for example - how many African-American artists that play more 'mainstream' rock get airtime vs. the hip-hop/rap groups? Unfortunately, the model or stereotype is partially formed by what is seen on popular TV. So, you are a real live person that has her own diverse tastes that don't conform to the MTV norm - that stands out. I agree that it shouldn't, but... I live in Dallas, which has quite a bit of racial tension along the lines of your question. I wonder if other African-American students see you as different also, or is it more the white students? Just curious.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Why assume we’re all straight? #34332

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    It's a heterocentric world out there. That is a fact. The majority generally assumes that someone who is not 'obviously' gay or lesbian is therefore straight - not always out of malice but more from just not knowing any different. You might try to imagine asking a straight, Southern Baptist youth minister if he has a partner. I would think he would be offended by the implication that he might have something other than a girlfriend.

    Once the decision is made to be out about your sexuality, you must expect to run across some homophobic reactions. That has been my experience in my home state of good ol' redneck Texas. The majority of the people I run into don't appear to care one way or the other, but there are the occasional homophobes who cause problems. I have had to learn to just deal with it as it happens. If they are at least polite about it, so am I. If they are rude or inconsiderate, then I go full camp and let 'em have a good ol' Southern queen rendition. I am comfortable in the belief that the problem is theirs, not mine.

    So, give folks the benefit of the doubt on the first encounter. The real litmus test is how they react in future encounters.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Anal sex #16363

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    I can only speak for myself on this, as not all gay guys like anal sex. Very basically, I enjoy it because it leads to a most intense orgasm. The prostate, at least mine, anyway, is stimulated by anal sexual activity. Women have the clitoris, men have the prostate, in a very basic manner of speaking. I enjoy giving myself up to another man, and I enjoy the initial discomfort that leads to extreme pleasure.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Crossing the street #36118

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    This one crosses all of the ethnic/gender lines. I live in a very diverse neighborhood in Dallas. The streets are busy with cars that are well above the speed limit, and red lights aren't exactly respected. But with all that, I still regularly observe folks stepping into the crosswalk against the light. They end up getting honked at, dodging traffic and taking great risks. I don't get it - except for knowing about a lot of Dallas folks feelings that the world is supposed to '...know who I am...' and wait on them. This same behavior is apparent on the freeways in the lack of signal light usage, running lights/stop signs, etc. Dallas is by far worse than cities I've visited on the west coast. It might be more of a geographic thing than an ethnic/gender thing, in my opinion.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Young boys swimming with shirts on #23938

    Mark Bentley
    Participant
    I was kind of opposite - I was a skinny kid, and I sunburned easily. I kept a shirt on a lot so I could stay out longer, and because I was self-conscious about not being as built as the other boys.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 42 total)