[Edgar]

Human societies tend to be bigoted in various ways. That is the 'normal' situation (for some value of being 'normal'). What is 'normal' is not necessarily right. It can be very destructively wrong. I note that bigots whose bigotry is the majority attitude invariably flatter themselves that their bigotry is morally correct.

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Name : Edgar, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 56, City : Dayton, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mike Hipp]

Mark from Tx writes: >I would think he would be offended by the implication that he might have something other than a girlfriend.< Why would he be offended. By saying that you are saying that having a parter is somehow wrong... which cuts right to the heart of the matter. Until hetero's understand that it's no more 'un-natural' to have a same sex partner than it is to have an opposite sex partner, then this discussion can go nowhere. And for anybody that wants to come back with 'of course it's un-natural to have a same sex parter' line.... give it up, that's a mute point, it's not your job to set the laws of the universe... and until (speaking about gay men here) you've had a prostate orgasm, you have NO idea what you're saying.

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Name : Mike Hipp, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : I.T., Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Serene`]

Not to make light of your query, I had to laugh because it brings a whole new demension to mind when I refer to my boyfriend, (I'm over 40, he's over 50, so 'boy' isn't quite right, mate (conjuers up thoughts of animals in the wild), so now when I use partner (of choice as we are partners), do I now I have to wonder if the funny look on people's faces may be their perception that we are gay? And here I thought it was because of the racial thing! LOL! What I am saying here is that for as irksome as it is, it helps to have a sense of humor towards society's faux pas.

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Name : Serene`, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 43, City : Chandler, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Business Owner, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[bob-r23100]

C. Beaty hit it on the head. this is a world where the norm is heterosexual. Thats nature, it takes a male and a female. picture this If I was in Isreal would I expect people to ask me how Im cellebrating christmas ?

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Name : bob-r23100, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 49, City : easton, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Opal]

Maybe it's because homosexuals only comprise about 5% of the total population. It's really does not make sense to change a greeting to one that is only appropiate to 5% of the people. You, me and everyone makes assumptions based on the 'norm' all the time. Do you keep a wheelchair lift in your car just in case you meet a person in a wheelchair? Should that person be offended because you assumed that no one in your life will be in a wheelchair? If your gay friends see you having lunch with a girl I am sure your friends assume that she is gay. I think assuming someone is straight should not be considered offensive. It's something that can be fixed in less than a second ... 'no I'm gay.'

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Name : Opal, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Baltimore, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : College Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Brian N.]

After reading the comments made, i have to agree with half the respondents when pointing out that gay relationships are not the norm. And by norm, i mean majority of the population. Gays statistically account for 3-10% of the general population. Kristina and Doug are right - its gonna take time before gender neutral names are used - i.e. partner. Until then, you gotta just deal. Maybe its cuz i grew up being maybe one of a handful of biracial kids - even smaller if you look at east-asian/euro biracial kids - and i've learned that you can't have the victim complex. Yes, Paulette, it really sucks that you probably will have to correct people for the rest of your life when they ask about your husband. But just think, you are able to correct them now. We finally live in an age where there are gay identities and communities. 50 years ago, people consider themselves gay. They just slept with someone of the same sex. Now, (hopefully) you can live publicly with the love of your life, be it male or female. And hopefully in another couple generations, society will have progressed.

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Name : Brian N., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Biracial - asian/euro, Religion : Catholic, Age : 23, City : Cincinnati, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Drew25686]

Becasue when you can assume and be right 95% of the time, that is good enough for most people.

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Name : Drew25686, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 30, City : Motown, State : WV Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lady-J26191]

Paulette, I find myself having to correct people who automatically assume that within a lesbian couple, one woman assumes the role of the 'man' while the other is the 'woman'. Now, I know that there are plenty lezzies who do act like men. However, what I want to know is why hetero men find it difficult to accept the idea of two women (who love being female) being in an intimate relationship with each other?

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Name : Lady-J26191, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Pagan, Age : 26, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : Web Administrator, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Osmosis]

Like a poster said Gay/LESBO's are 3% of the population that means that 97% are NORMAL. I could care less if your offended. It offends me that you are offended. Hows that grab you. I certainly wouldn't want to 'accidently' invite a GAY/LESBO to one of our main events. If you even hint of FAG, or I don't absolutly know. I'll flat out ask you, just to make sure there is no mistake.

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Name : Osmosis, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 42, City : Ft Lauderdale, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Mark]

I bet you are not as negative as this implies, Douglas. I hope you were trying to say that society generally operates on the assumption that people are straight because most are. I think it is more a statistical thing. It's a waste of time for straight people to change their vernacular to include sexual orientation, especially when 90 percent of the people of the world are straight. It's all about efficiency. It's the 'normal' thing that grabbed my attention when I read your reply. My sexuality does not make me 'abnormal.' Last time I checked, I put my pants on the same way that you do (no, I don't wear a skirt). I think if you met me you would not even know I am gay. I bet you would say I am 'normal.' If this woman is frequently asked about her boyfriend, people must think she is pretty 'normal,' too.

What is important to understand is that gay people did not choose to be gay. They are born gay. Any gay man or lesbian who says they 'chose' this 'lifestyle' is not truly homosexual, in my opinion. What you do 'choose' is to accept it and tell others. This woman has not brought anything on herself because she is a lesbian. I do feel, however, that she is wrong to assume that everyone has to understand her perspective and change their social interaction skills when they are around her. She will likely get over this with time. If she doesn't, she will just waste a lot of energy.

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Name : Mark, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : Health Policy Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[basil]

Gays and Lesbians may in your opinion be a marginalized group and you may not see us, hence assuming that teh world should not think of us as the go about business as usual. If we all thought like that, then Im sure you could look at something about yourself, accept it as not the norm ( what ever that is) and also accept that you can me murdered for your difference . It matters not how large the group one represents , fair is fair and justice is justice . If we all tried to be a bit more tolerant of those arounfd us the world could be a much safer place cheers

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Name : basil, City : nyc, State : NY Country : United States, 

[chris32188]

Why make any assumptions at all? one sort of perfection is that we would allow any and all information about a person to come only from that person or their close friends. we don't because assumptions (and the related aspect stereotypes) allow humans to deal with huge amounts of information much faster than otherwise possible, while at the same time having a high percentage of being the correct assumption. I have said in other thread I hang around with lots of gy men and women. And yet I still find myself using terms that reflect assumptions that I know doesn't reflect reality. while I can in some circumstances drop back to using a gender neutral version of the question (I prefer, 'So who are you seeing?') I admit I can't always be consious of the exact version I speak. To give you a flipped situation, If I am hanging out with my gay friends in a gay bar and I am talking to a woman, I have to make it a point to make sure that she knows I am straight, because otherwise I am assumed to be gay and she treats me accordingly. I can't get offended because she is in a situation in which the assumption is almost always going to be right.

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Name : chris32188, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Deist, Age : 28, City : San Diego, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : computer guy, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Tina24613]

I don't think anyone means any offense when they ask 'Do you have a boyfriend'. It's usually to 1) spark a conversation, or 2) to find out of you are looking for a partner. It's a stock question that people use to further a conversation. If you're at a party and meet someone new, it wouldn't be unusual to ask 'what do you do for a living?'. Depending on the unemployment rate, your question isn't likely to create an awkward situation... but it might for a certain percentage of the population. That's the prblem with stock questions. 90% of the time, you don't noticehow they can go 'wrong'

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Name : Tina24613, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 32, City : Toronto, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Gus]

ironic that that statement comes from an atheist...but i totally agree with you, why don't you just stay conformed to our standards. don't come out of the closet and expect the whole world to change just for you.

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Name : Gus, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 18, City : AC, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jean B]

I usually assume people are right-handed because most people are right-handed. People who are proud of left-handedness may volunteer it. Otherwise, if there is a reason to treat a left-handed person differently (special scissors or not sitting on their left for example) I figure that they will tell me. I usually do not notice lefthandedness on my own. When it is called to my attention I consider it a mild curiosity. I am semi-ambidextrous (left hand is stronger, right is more dextrous). I usually assume people are straight because the majority of people are straight. If there is a reason to treat a non-straight person differently (perhaps dating behavior), I figure they will tell me.

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Name : Jean B, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 45, City : Tucson, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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