You might try little things like figuring out a way to watch 'Will & Grace' with someone you think might be gay. Humor around a subject can sometimes help get someone talking. I know the chat rooms at www.gay.com and planetout are pretty sparse for Montana. I just looked at a map, and you are in the middle of a lot of space! Maybe you'll be heading out of there to go to college in a bigger town? There is a Metropolitan Community Church in Great Falls, but that isn't too close. It is just flat out tough in a small town. I always advise caution, because things can sure get out of hand. Gay-dar is refined by living in the gay neighborhood of a big city. I've found that a lot of it is based on eye contact and subtle responses (smile, wink, raised eyebrow, etc.). Prolonged eye contact with a straight guy, however, isn't good!
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, The 'blacks' have been forced out of the mainstream by years of white domination. They have been forced to support and advance themselves through organizations like the NAACP and the UNCF. These organizations don't foster racial separatism - they fight for the equality they shouldn't have to fight for in a free country. Their continued existence plainly points to the rampant racism that still exists in the white community. Will the day come when these organizations are no longer needed? I hope so, but it sure isn't today.
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Go back and read your Bible. You have been told that the Bible condemns homosexuality; go back and read the verses. For example, Leviticus, 18:22 and 20:13. You think because the Bible says it, it must be law. Have you really read all of Leviticus? If so, you know that you are not following the law, and as such, you are not a 'true' Christian. The sin of Sodom, per the 'true' Christian's reading, is homosexuality. Read Ezekiel, 16:49-50, Matthew, 10: 14-15 and Luke, 10:7-16. Hmmm. Unless you can say that you faithfully follow each and every law that Leviticus lays out, don't accuse gay Christians of rationalizing their belief/faith. My experience has been that most gay-baiting Christians who come into Oak Lawn to save us lost sheep can't withstand more than five minutes of detailed Bible reading before they give up and look for someone more vulnerable. Faith is not an absolute - remember that Christ is the PERSONAL savior for all, not the GENERIC savior. My vision of and belief in God is just as real as yours, even if it is different from yours. Check out http://www.whosoever.org/index.html for further reading on the subject.
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, God doesn't get credit because that would interfere with reaping all the personal glory and benefits of being on top of the world. In a reverse kind of way, I wonder why professional athletes (of any and all ethnicities) are all thanks to God when they make a touchdown (glory), but cussin' and stompin' when they fumble (humility)? God gets used/abused in some funny ways, huh?
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, The first thing I would recommend is to move slowly. Is there a gay/lesbian community center in your town? If so, they probably have a youth group. Or, maybe a Metropolitan Community Church? These are fairly safe options for meeting other guys in your age group in a controlled environment. You can also hit the gay.com 'youth' chat rooms and talk to guys in the same situation. Check www.planetout.com and go to the youth sections to chat with other guys there. The thing you must be careful of is, and I'm sure you are probably aware of this, that older guys will be in the youth rooms to see what they can find, also. Watch your step, and don't give out details about yourself. If and when you agree to meet someone in person, make sure it's in a very public place so that you have security. Bottom line: Be careful. There are good people out there, but there are also some stinkers. Learning the difference is tough, and sometimes dangerous.
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Kathy, check out the following link for the history of the gay-identified rainbow flag: http://www.naxs.com/people/nightlife/flag.htm The rainbow colors and the Human Rights Campaign's '=' sign are the ways that lots of us mark our vehicles to identify ourselves.
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Does your employer provide coverage to see a counselor? If so, I highy recommend you take advantage of that benefit. If it's not covered, seek help from local community centers or your church. Talking it out with a neutral party can help you zero in on what's holding you back and/or missing in your life. I have been through counseling, and even went on to see a psychiatrist to get through some troubling events in my life (death of my mother, accepting my sexuality) that were causing me to withdraw from my social life and isolate myself at home. Happiness is out there, but sometimes it sure does try to hide. Group therapy and community activism/volunteerism are also ways to get out and meet others in a non-pressure situation. Look in the mirror and realize that you are one of God's children, and as such, you need to take care of yourself. Make the decision to seek help in breaking the cycle of depression and you will be forever changed.
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, I'm sorry to say there isn't any such ingredient out there that can kill the craving. The only thing that has a chance of working is getting into the AA program and developing the spirituality that will help your friend overcome the craving, vs. giving in to it and drinking. I speak as a member of AA who has put down a 27-year habit. Are there still cravings? Yes, they will never completely go away. But, I can manage through the AA program and the support of the members.
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, I'm at a loss to understand how it's 'disgusting' to consider male-to-male sex, but it's easy to '...understand why a woman would enjoy sex with a woman.' I find this to be an outrageously sexist statement, indicative of your disrespect for women and your male-superior outlook. My straight male friends are perfectly comfortable being around me and my gay friends. Why? Because they are heterosexual and are secure/comfortable with their sexuality. Blanket assumptions, like 'all straight men are disgusted by gay men,' are the easy way to dismiss gays and categorize them as lesser peoples not deserving of rights that 'ordinary' (read: straight) citizens enjoy. It's a dark path. I would hazard a guess that you don't know any gay men. But there are very likely some gays in your sphere and you just don't know it. If you did, you would be forced to make a choice of learning about how gay men aren't deserving of your disgust or of stepping your bigotry up another level and disassociating from known gays. It's up to you, but I would suggest that you follow the teachings of Christ and exhibit love toward your fellow humans, not judgment.
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, I wondered the same thing myself when I first came out. First, you can never compare an action taken by a doctor to a sexual act you might engage in. Women don't relate the exam by their doctor to a sex act; men don't relate a prostate exam by their doctor to a sex act. What is it, then, about anal sex? First, you mentioned the prostate. Anal sex, when done right, can really stimulate feeling from what I call the 'joy button.' Second, I like to be with a man, so giving up part of me to satisfy my partner is part of the fun. Accepting the discomfort, which is present at the beginning, but learning to actively move that to a relaxed state of pleasure by being a participant in the event instead of just a recepticle is the best part for me. Straight men put a lot of their machismo into protecting their a---s, so to speak, not even letting their girlfriends work on them there. It's an erogenous part of the male body, if you can get past the fear factor. Remember, what floats one man's boat sinks another's...
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, I've seen lots of articles out in cyberspace and print that refute your thesis. The higher primates have been observed to exhibit same-sex behavior, as have other species. Placing human kind as a 'higher' animal doesn't stop us from depleting resources, polluting the environment and engaging in genocide - all activities that even animals do not practice. Stretch your vision a bit to include searching out information on topics instead of accepting old canards and cliches about groups of people that are marginalized.
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, I knew I was 'different' from a very early age; most clearly remembered from the 5th grade forward. I didn't know what sex was at that time, but I knew that I wasn't interested in the girls like some of my friends were. The summer before 7th grade was the time of my sexual awakening, but I didn't identify as homosexual. I didn't know what it was. Not much access to info on the subject for a 7th grader in 1972! Young men these days are more comfortable identifying as gay in their teens or earlier. Every coming out story is different, which is why I find them so compelling. There are many books that deal with the subject. They can be found at the larger chain bookstores and the neighborhood gay bookstores. I hope this helps!
User Detail :
Name : Mark Bentley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
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