Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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We get asked this question quite a lot on Y Forum, so I hope I am not being too flippant in suggesting that ‘I realized I was queer about the same time you realized you were straight.’ It’s the same process: a gradual realization that you probably never really notice.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,You are on dangerous ground suggesting that we need to dress like ‘proper ladies and gentlemen’ to ‘succeed in this world.’ To wit, I was watching a bio on Richard Nixon, who dressed and behaved this way at his high school and university, and I guess he succeeded in this world, but is that the kind of success you would see as desirable?
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I’ve met and talked to many women who eroticise the idea of gay men having sex, at some of the more ‘fringe’ dance parties in Sydney. (At some of the more ‘vanilla’ gay parties such cross-gender behaviour is frowned upon.) I don’t mind the idea of all and feel sort of flattered that there are women who feel this way. Not sure I could perform for them though ! Like a previous poster, I don’t think of such women as fag-hags- I think that is more of a social behaviour than an erotic interest.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Nope, it gets worse . . . Felching is sucking the semen out of the vagina or anus after ejaculation – often done with a straw. I’m pretty sure it developed in the ’70s, at least in the gay scene. In the more health-conscious post-AIDS environment, felching (which is probably not that high a risk for HIV) is now pretty uncommon, being a great way to catch giardia and other gastro-intestinal parasites.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,In these cases of objects being used, the attachment is not to the object, so you could not speak of the person as ‘having other gods before me [God].’ The object is not being worshiped, it is being used for a particular purpose. Of course, if God were believed to be in the object, then there is even less problem. In Roman Catholicism and Anglo-Catholicism, the doctrine of transsubstantiation even asserts that the communion bread and wine changes ‘substance’ into the body and blood of Christ.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,In my humble opinion, no. In my case, it would just be unnatural to do so, and I’m happy the way I am. My advice for people who are unhappy with the gay lifestyle, and there are many, is to reject the labels and stereotypes, in the same way you would refuse to conform to the heterosexual ‘norm.’ Be gay or queer or whatever, but do it your own way. A famous ‘ministry’ that aims to encourage gays and lesbians to change their orientation is at http://www.exodusnorthamerica.org/ A news story there is worth reading – Exodus recently had to discipline one of their leaders who was caught in a gay bar. The methods used by these groups are controversial, and Exodus is probably more famous for statements made by ‘ex-ex-gays’ about them than for any success in really changing sexual orientation.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,In Australia we get an interesting perspective on the differences between Europe and America via local television. One station, the SBS- Special Broadcasting Service- broadcasts European series and movies. On these shows, you get pretty frank depictions of sex, including actual depictions of sexual activity and various fetishes, some of them quite extreme, such as bestiality and sexual violence. Ditto for drug and alcohol use. These goings on are treated with a ‘gallic shrug’ by the presenters and actors, and I guess ,the audience. Compare that with an American show- called ‘Sex in the City’ I think ?- which seems to feature three neurotic people who do nothing but talk about sex loudly and annoyingly for the duration, totally de-eroticising every pecadillo they discuss . . . but they never seem to actually get around to just doing it.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,My view here does not derive from direct experience (luckily), but my impression is that those who are aggressive to lesbians and gay men are as a general rule not that comfortable with their own sexuality. In the case of men, there is also the need to affirm masculinity in front of other males and this can result in some aggressive acts. It was not surprising, for instance, to find that the killer of a gay man at a cruising spot in Sydney a couple of years ago had actually previously tried to work as a male prostitute ! Of course there are always some people who are bullies and enjoy the power- lesbians and gay men may present easy targets for them. Also, I often notice that some straight men seem more comfortable with overtly effeminate gays than with masculine gays like myself. Maybe they worry that if I’m masculine like them and I’m gay- then what does that say about their sexuality ? – or perhaps it’s a fear that if I’m masculine, I’m sexually dominant and therefore threatening ? Comments on this one would be interesting.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,My impression is that many gay couples do sleep together almost all of the time, like heterosexual couples. But given that we have to write our own rules, you will find that there is more variety than the ‘heterosexual model’ among gay relationships. Some couples might not live together, or might have a concept of ‘commitment’ that does not always involve sleeping together; it may involve sleeping with other partners. With all people, I guess, there is some drop-off in frequency of sex as the relationship matures. Life’s like that for all of us, I suppose, regardless of sexual preference. For myself, I do not mind questions about personal matters, as long as the asker is prepared to accept a fairly frank answer. I will not ‘push the envelope’ in the workplace, but I answer honestly when asked, as long as the situation is not obviously threatening. I do notice that many straight people are very surprised at this, and sometimes a little uncomfortable.
User Detail :
Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Difficult. God, being all-present, would be able to sneak a look over the Devil’s shoulder. On the other hand, being a Good God, he’d feel duty-bound not to cheat. The Devil would probably have bet on the outcome of the game, and that would influence his urge to win or throw it. God would know which way the Devil had bet. His actions might be dictated by how much he cared about the Devil’s side bet. Being omnipotent, he may not care too much. If I were the Devil, I’d know that whatever I did, I’d be in a bit of a bind, God being all-knowing and all. But I know that I can annoy God, even if I can’t win. I’d dare God to raise the stakes by letting me have my wicked way with the Virgin Mary for a night if I won, on top of the pile of cash on the table. I doubt God could see his way to raise the stakes by that much, and I’d walk away from the table able to boast that God had wimped out.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,For me, homosexuality was not chosen. I’m not sure if I was born with it, or whether it developed due to the way I was nurtured. It always just seemed more natural. If you try to ask yourself whether you ‘chose’ heterosexuality, you’ll see how problematic these things are to work out. But I don’t really waste much time worrying; I’m happy with the way I am, and feel no more need to question my orientation than a heterosexual person would.
User Detail :
Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,They are probably sebaceous cysts (there’s one for the lispers!). If so, I’m pretty sure they are harmless. Get them checked at a Sexually Transmitted Diseases clinic if it eases your concerns.
User Detail :
Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Jared, did not Jesus say that He came to give us a new law ? And when he did that, he didn’t mention homosexuality. Not once. That doesn’t mean the old law was necessarily supplanted, but his silence on homosexuality is a sign that it can’t have been that important. When Paul, in the New Testament, mentions homosexuality, it is as a punishment, rather than a sin, which may indicate something about his inner feelings. Remember too, that the Old Testament also condemns usury and such things as the eating of shellfish and wearing clothing woven of two different fibres. Yet Christianity has moved beyond trying to enforce these edicts. So get thee behind me, Satan, in thy gabardine and polyester weave slacks . . .
User Detail :
Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,It happens. I’ve got a gay friend whose boyfriend is straight. He doesn’t feel attracted to men apart from his boyfriend, and doesn’t like the gay scene at all. If you look at his feelings, you’d have to say there was a same-sex orientation. But it’s up to an individual to decide how far he or she wants to go with gay self-identification. For many people, myself included, the stereotyped gay identities just don’t fit at all, although I use the word for convenience’s sake. I would avoid struggling with labels and follow your feelings. If you are in a heterosexual relationship already, that will require some managing and honesty.
User Detail :
Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I’m not sure whether feelings about lesbianism are related to fears about male homosexuality, or whether there is a special ‘yuck’ factor for lesbianism too. In patriachal societies, perhaps lesbianism is seen as less of a threat- hence the lack of laws preventing it. Also, the response of the dominant group, straight men, seems to be somewhat ‘muddled’ regarding lesbianism; there seems to be a combination of dislike and violence on one hand and erotic interest on the other- as shown by the large number of ‘lesbian’ videos marketed to straight men. Although it is worth considering that lesbians continue to face far stronger economic sanctions against their relationships than many gay men do nowadays.
User Detail :
Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,
