The vast majority of gay people fit almost all stereotypical gender roles of their own sex. You must only notice the people who seem to act differently to you. Conversely, few heterosexual people fulfill every rigid gender stereotype of their sex. For example, there are heterosexual female athletes and heterosexual male artists. I don't know any gay people who act like the opposite sex. Perhaps you are thinking of transgendered people? Gender identity is separate from sexual orientation.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, While it remains extremely common for gay people to be forced into a legal marriage with members of a different sex, the only reason this happens is that a lot of gay people do not accept their sexual orientation until they are already married to someone of the opposite sex. As society becomes more open and realistic about the nature of emotional attraction, more gay people are realizing and accepting their orientation at earlier ages and don't have to go through a phase of dating people of the wrong (in their case opposite) sex. However, many children are still told that they are supposed to marry someone of the opposite sex by parents, educators, etc. If a gay person thinks heterosexuality is somehow preferable to homosexuality, he or she may attempt the impossible task of transformation to a different sexual orientation.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, I thought it was strange that you asked about homosexuality and not heterosexuality. How is heterosexuality (or homosexuality) different than the fetishes or behaviors that you listed? Sexual orientation does not have anything to do with particular lifestyles or behaviors. Instead sexual orientation just describes which sex an individual is attracted to romantically and physically. It is an innate characteristic like sex, handedness, or eye color. People who are gay can fall in love with and be attracted to certain individuals of the same sex. People who are hetero/straight are attracted to people of a different sex, and people are bi can be attracted to someone of either sex. By contrast, sadomasochism describes a type of practice unrelated to sexual orientation or sex or race. Bestiality and pedophilia as behaviors are condemned because they are really more like rape than sex. They do not involve sex between consenting adults. One other point. I noticed that you said that there are protections for gay people and their families. However, in the US, most states do not yet have laws protecting gay people and their families from discrimination based on their sexual orientation. Many laws, including marriage laws in most states and countries, still unjustly and arbitrarily discriminate against gay couples while giving economic and other legal benefits to hetero couples. The sex (i.e. the shape of the genitals) of someone's spouse should be irrelevant to the legal recognition of his or her marriage.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Some people feel they can change the denomination from the inside. However, this idea tends to work better in Protestant denominations that recognize Christianity as an personal relationship with God. Catholicism is more oriented toward a human-centered hierarchy and a worship of men, particularly the Pope, and Man's ignorance and tradition. When will the Catholic leadership realize the evils of its ways and denounce sex without condoms, unchecked reproduction and all forms of sexism and homophobia? Given the extent to which these prejudices (which are strongly anti-Christian given Christianity's core focus on love, non-judgmentalism, generosity and inclusiveness) are ingrained in the Vatican hierarchy, such progress is not likely to occur soon. The Catholic Church gains its strength through placation of the masses, but it will only survive through reform or by continuing to fight the education and progress of humanity.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Only an extremely small percentage of gay men have any sort of behavior patterns that would be regarded flamboyant or effeminate. Additionally, many heterosexual men do act flamboyant. Perhaps you're assuming that men who act that way are gay. I assure you that the vast majority of gay men that you know do no act 'feminine,' but you assume they're heterosexual. One of the great annoyances of life is that people always assume you are heterosexual. Maybe gay men who act flamboyant are trying to distinguish themselves from the heterosexual majority. More likely, gay men are less afraid to, for example, express interest in art than heterosexual men who are insecure and worried about violating the gender stereotypes of traditional society.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, While it is true that private organizations may discriminate, the BSA receives countless privileges including public funding, exclusive recruiting rights in public schools during school hours, and free admission to national and state parks and forests for which everyone else must pay. If all these undue privileges are removed, the scouts can continue to hurt as many children as they like. A separate issue than the legal right to discriminate, however, is the immorality and harm to children of all orientations caused by the policy. By teaching children ignorance and hatred the BSA does America a great disservice.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Saying that you would not want your child to have a gay scout leader assumes that gay people are likely to abuse children. In fact, statistically the people most likely (in percentage and absolute terms) to abuse children are heterosexual fathers who are married to women. If anything, gay people are far less likely to abuse children, given a hyper-awareness of the stereotype that they are somehow deviant. The bigotry you express is horrifying and unjustified. It is also harmful to gay children, whose sense of self-esteem is damaged; heterosexual children, who are taught to be bigoted against minorities; and society at large. Gay kids are no more likely to be sexually active than heterosexual kids. Is it OK for den mothers to abuse scouts because that is heterosexual sex? How would you feel if Jewish people were excluded from being scout leaders based on a stereotype that they would steal the students' lunch money or that they drink the blood of children (an old European stereotype about Jews) or that they would try to convert them? It's the same thing; I can't believe a resident of Israel would believe such views.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, I suggest picking up a copy of your local gay newspaper to find out about local resources. Another great resource is the Internet, which has countless gay chat rooms where you can meet people and get information on all sorts of gay-oriented community organizations. Most Christian denominations and other religions have organizations for religious gay people and lists of congregations that are welcoming (e.g. http://www.rcp.org/ lists welcoming United Methodist congregations) and have Sunday school classes and groups for gay Christians. Most cities have gay volunteer service organizations, gay sports leagues, gay social groups, etc. If you're old enough you can visit gay bars and clubs, but don't let alcohol or other drugs impair your judgment and instincts about the people you meet. Most gay people will be friendly and outgoing, though there are people who may use you. The best approach is probably to build a network of gay and gay-friendly friends and acquaintances before beginning to date anyone.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, More detailed analyses of the data on divorce rates are revealing, as are surveys of those who are married. The couples most likely to divorce are those who get married too early and for the wrong reasons, especially those who get married just because they think they are supposed to marry. However, more relevant to your question is the case of Europe and other parts of the developed world besides the United States. European divorce rates are low because people know it is OK not to ever get married, and that one can have a full life without getting married. Divorce rates also are lower in Europe because their culture is not dominated by a Puritanical religious right, as is America's. Americans don't understand the importance of living together before or instead of marriage. Americans also tend to believe people should get married. People need to learn that they should only marry if it is right, and not to do it unless they're sure. Fundamentalist right-wing 'Christians' have much higher divorce rates than mainline Christians because they get married early and because they believe marriage is a mandatory duty. Also, inequality in a marriage is highly correlated with divorce. The only healthy marriage is one of equality in which the partners share roles based on their individual personalities, not based on arbitrary divisions such as gender roles. Men and women must be equal in marriage for it to be successful. In the developing world, divorce rates are low because there is no freedom to divorce. As a result, most married couples live horrible and unfulfilling lives with the wrong people. Please take marriage seriously and don't commit until A) you and your partner are both over 25, B) you've been dating for three years, and (preferably) C) you've lived together for a year.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Traditionally, society built rules that segregated the roles of the two sexes. This strict code assigned women the role of servant and property (until this century women could not own property and were considered the property of their husbands) and men the role of master. The various gender roles became deeply ingrained and only recently have we realized how destructive to humanity a strictly gendered society is. We now know that people should have the freedom to be individuals and that their sex (i.e. the shape of their genitalia) should not affect their lives in a limiting way. Homophobia (the fear or dislike of love between individuals of the same sex) and heterosexism (the view that opposite-sex romantic relationships are more normal than and are preferable to same-sex relationships) are subsets of sexism. Just as women are 'supposed' to obey men, stay at home, and produce children named after their father, women also should date and legally marry a man. Today we know these ideas are crazy and harmful. Individuals should be themselves and have romantic relationships with the people they love, regardless of sex. Marriage laws also should not discriminate based on sex.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, You've actually asked a couple of questions. 1) Can people change their sexual orientation? The answer is that the sex or sexes one is attracted to is innate and predetermined. Sexual orientation is a genetically and hormonally determined and God-given trait. People can control their behavior, but a person who is gay can never have a fulfilling romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex unless he or she is bisexual. Similarly, someone who is heterosexual can only be fulfilled emotionally and physically by a relationship with someone of a different sex. 2) Should gay people pretend to be hetero? Should hetero people try to make themselves gay? No, people should be themselves. 3) Web sites? A civil rights group, the Human Rights Campaign (www.hrc.org/) has links to information on the so-called 'ex-gay groups' that harm people by misleading them, lowering their self-esteem and inducing self-loathing, and failing to recognize the basic equality between gay and heterosexual romantic relationships. By the way, these groups have never succeeded in changing an individual's orientation.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Many people do identify as bisexual. If a man is bi, he presumably would be as likely to stay with his wife forever. However, the situations that you are referring to involve men who are gay but do not accept it until after they have married a woman. Many men who are not attracted to a woman can have intercourse by closing their eyes and imagining they are with a man or by some other means. Such a man is gay but is playing the role of someone who is heterosexual or bi. He probably loves his wife as a friend but does not love her romantically and is not physically attracted to her.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, As a couple of the other respondents have noted, it is more common in our society for so-called Christians to attack atheists than vice versa. While I have noticed some hostility towards and disrespect of Christians among atheists, the attacks by fundamentalist Christians on those they disagree with are far more severe. A true Christian must first be loving towards all, must not judge others, and must respect that everyone has free will. I try to remember Christ's example and treat everyone with love and respect. To give one example of why people might feel hostile against these un-Christian fundamentalist 'Christians', witness the organized opposition to legal recognition of same-sex marriage and other basic human rights. These fundamentalists have caused incredible harm and pain to millions of families across America and the world.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Recent data on the spread of HIV in Africa indicates a strong correlation between being uncircumcised and contracting HIV. While these data are not conclusive in terms of a causative effect, the connection is there and also applies to certain other STDs and to penile cancer. Circumcision may be safer than keeping one's foreskin. The difference, however, is probably minimal and is moot since condom usage is adequate prevention against STDs.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Any real Christian would know that only God decides who goes to heaven and who, if anyone, goes to hell. These people call themselves Christian but forget that Christians may not judge other people, only God can do that. The Bible says that Christians can be identified by their acts of goodness and that those who do good are worshipping Him even if they do not call Him by name. Anyone who excludes other people or judges them is not following the example of Christ, who NEVER excluded anyone.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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