[JimC]

In your question, you state that 'homosexual men have feminine undertones and behavior' as though this were the truth for all gay men. This just isn't the case. Being gay myself and knowing many many gay men, I can honestly say that most are just regular-Joe guys who are no more feminine or masculine than any other man, straight or gay. Sure, there are exceptions, ranging from the flamboyant 'queen' to the hypermasculine 'leatherman.' That you assume all gay men act feminine just means that these 'effeminate' homosexuals are the only ones you recognize as being gay. I guarantee there are a lot more gay men you come in contact with that you don't recognize simply because their mannerisms don't jibe with your preconceived notions. You can also rest assured that not all lesbian women fit the stereotypical 'butch/manly' stereotype, either.

User Detail :  

Name : JimC, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : Dayton, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : Systems Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Sion]

I've noticed that homosexual men have feminine undertones and behavior. It would seem to me that if a man prefers men, he could still act more like a man. Isn't that the attraction - the same sex? If women aren't preferred, why behave like one?

User Detail :  

Name : Sion, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

[H.]

Only an extremely small percentage of gay men have any sort of behavior patterns that would be regarded flamboyant or effeminate. Additionally, many heterosexual men do act flamboyant. Perhaps you're assuming that men who act that way are gay. I assure you that the vast majority of gay men that you know do no act 'feminine,' but you assume they're heterosexual. One of the great annoyances of life is that people always assume you are heterosexual. Maybe gay men who act flamboyant are trying to distinguish themselves from the heterosexual majority. More likely, gay men are less afraid to, for example, express interest in art than heterosexual men who are insecure and worried about violating the gender stereotypes of traditional society.

User Detail :  

Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Kent26461]

Most homosexual men do have feminine undertones. You will not notice they are gay, because they are simply men.

User Detail :  

Name : Kent26461, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 58, City : Melbourne, State : NA Country : Australia, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Erick L.]

Unfortunately, the gay community has been stereotyped to extremes by the media, or gay men have had bad childhood experiences. True, there are the 'screaming queens' in the gay community who are extremely flamboyant and more feminine than your grandmother, but it is also important to remember that even straight men can be more feminine than the norm. I have several gay friends who are as masculine as Mr. Universe, and I have ones who practically wear dresses. I also have straight friends who work out and refuse to show emotion, capturing the essence of masculinity, and then I have straight friends who jump on chairs and scream when they see a cockroach. I fall somewhere in between. I'm a makeup artist (considered feminine) and yet I work out, change tires and mow my lawn with brute force. My point: Humans are created as they are, whether that's gay, straight, feminine, masculine and so many more varieties. And the feminine gay people you know aren't the standard, just the more obvious.

User Detail :  

Name : Erick L., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 19, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Comptuter Programmer & Makeup artist, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Priscilla30263]

I agree with Frank. I know you probably didn't mean to say the wrong thing, Sion, and I'm definitely not having a go at you, but you shouldn't assume that gay men (or lesbians) fulfill certain stereotypes. Some do, but many do not.

User Detail :  

Name : Priscilla30263, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Sydney, State : NA Country : Australia, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[N.J. Smith]

There are all types of homosexuals, as there are heterosexuals. Not all gay men behave in what our society deems feminine ways. Nor are all men who do so homosexual. Problems arise when we expect a certain demeanor from someone because of their sex. Who can explain what attracts people to each other? Some like to take care of their partners, some like to be taken care of and some like sharing all responsibilities. This is true for all couples, straight or gay. There are countless other things that make or break a relationship, and acting 'masculine' or 'feminine' is just a small part of it. What's sad is that so many straight men feel compelled to act macho or in a 'masculine' way lest they suffer ridicule. I think the world would be a fine place if men would bend more before they break, and if women would bend (over) less.

User Detail :  

Name : N.J. Smith, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 45, City : Butler, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Laborer, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[iteki]

Its quite possible that you have only met effemintate gay men. Or more likely you are referring to people you dont actually know, but have seen on television or seen in stores or clubs or wherever. When a 6 foot 2 inch, muscular, hairy, sweaty brick layer sits beside you on the bus at the end of a hard days work, does it ever cross your mind that he might be gay? He quite possibly is. Most straight people only 'see' the flamboyant, screaming queens that fit in with their own stereotype of what a gay man should be. The people who look and act like your dad, your husband, your brother, your son, you assume not to be gay, and therefor cannot round out your picture of gay men. The it works the same way for lesbians. People only 'see' the extremely butch women, and assume that that counts for everyone. If I sit beside you on the bus in a skirt, with my hair that reaches half way down my back, you dont see me as a lesbian, i am just a 'regular person'.

User Detail :  

Name : iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 24, City : Stockholm, State : NA Country : Sweden, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Darynn]

It is common knowledge that most gay men are either ashamed of feminine men or actually hate them. They are trying to eliminate femininity out of their lives altogether. However, feminine gay men can be attracted to masculine men. They regard other feminine gay men as sisters. Sadly, feminine gay men lead very lonely lives, women and masculine straight or gay guys have no respectr for them and refuse to associate with them.

User Detail :  

Name : Darynn, City : Meadville, State : PA Country : United States, 

[Author]

Posts