Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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It’s better to be safe than sorry – sun damage (UVA/UVB rays) can affect anyone – inclduing Black people. We can also be affected seriously by sunburn – the thing is, by the time we are burned, it is usually quite serious, as it (obviously) takes longer for us to feel the negative effects of the sun/tanning. In addition, just because you may think you are too dark to tan (or burn), that doesn’t mean that you don’t. I have a caramel complexion, and my father has a coffee complexion – every summer he tans (and shows it) before I do. A couple of times we both got sunburned – my skin went through the ‘tingling’ and red process, while he full out peeled.
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Your statement sounds as if you are buying into the ‘European’ view of beauty rather than seeing beauty for what it is: different and special for every person and group. All racial/ethnic groups have people who are breathtakingly beautiful, as well as those who are definitely ‘trolls.’ Depending on an individual’s point of view, the same person you view as beautiful can be viewed as ugly by others, and vice versa. The unfortunate aspect of the European point of view is that it is incredibly narrow and limited – if one doesn’t have blond hair, blue eyes, etc., then that person is not beautiful – which is bunk. Personally, I think black people are the most beautiful people on earth (being black myself, you can say I’m a little biased), but I have also seen amazingly beautiful people of all races and ethnicities, as well as trolls of all types.
Actually, I find that white faces often are ‘lacking’ – often because the whites I encounter follow beauty trends slavishly, with the dedication and intensity of a lemming, rather than do what better suits them as an individual.
As far as your last statement, I find that the characteristics unique to Asian people are what make your faces beautiful – from the Chinese and Japanese people I’ve encountered, who wouldn’t find beauty in round faces, amazing skin, dark eyes, the contrast between the smooth, pale skin and dark hair, etc.? Don’t get me wrong – I’m totally straight – but Joan Chen has to be one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, as merely one example out of many.
You didn’t mention your age – if you are young, hopefully with time you will come to appreciate your unique beauty; if you are older, wake up before it’s too late.
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I would think that as a teacher you would know better than to make a generalizaton about a group, just because of the actions of a few. Black girls are no louder than white, Asian, etc. – and depending on the age group you are teaching, they ALL could be loud, but for some reason, you take note more when it comes from your black female students. I’ve been in the company of white women who greet each other quite loudly with those ‘sorority sister’ screams – how does the behavior of your students differ from that? As far as their being defensive, is it your actions and statements towards them that cause them to respond so?? Also, how much exposure did you have to black people before taking this position?
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,One good ‘overview’ book is ‘Autobiography of a People: Three Centuries of African-American History Told by Those Who Lived It’ by Herb Boyd. It covers varied black experiences and views from slavery to the present. I recommend this book, in that for each time period, it provides commentary from differing points of reference/view – showing how a number of people can live/go through the same situation, but experience/view/respond to it differently.
‘They Came Before Columbus’ by Ivan Van Sertima is also good; ‘The Souls of Black Folk’ by W.E.B. DuBois and ‘Up From Slavery’ by Booker T. Washington are good, and best read in tandem; anything by James Baldwin, but particularly ‘The Fire Next Time’; ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ by Harper Lee – while this is fiction (and not by a black author) this book is excellent in relating the views and attitudes of a time, and how we need to be careful in what and how we teach our children regarding people, tolerance, respect, etc. There are literally dozens more I could suggest, but this is a good start.
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,While I don’t condone the violence that occurred in Los Angeles, I do understand the underlying reasoning for it. It’s been my observation that when Asian shopkeepers deal with black customers, they do not show them anything resembling courtesy, mutual respect, etc. There are a couple of Korean-owned shops in my neighborhood, and I refuse to give them my (continued) business, as I didn’t care for the attitude the two times I visited (making sure they weren’t having a bad day during the first visit – benefit of the doubt, and all that). Not speaking when spoken to upon entry, insulting people when they ask questions (‘you people so stupid’), snatching items out of your hands if they feel you have held it too long, being followed around the store, having your money snatched out of your hand and your change thrown down on the counter (instead of handed to you), etc. And I don’t buy the ‘cultural differences’ argument – I’ve stood back and watched non-black customers receive civil treatment in the same shops, from the same shopkeepers. When one group consistently treats another with complete disregard, obviously a mutual dislike/contempt is going to be fostered. I’ve tried not to paint all Koreans with the same brush, but considering I’ve yet to encounter one that didn’t immediately and automatically treat me with contempt (without knowing me from Adam, as the saying goes), it’s difficult.
As far as owning the businesses/convenience stores, there’s more an anger factor than jealously. I’ve seen blacks try to open businesses, only to be given the runaround: having to have considerable licensing, permits and certifications PRIOR to setting up their business, while business people of any other ethicnity are able to acquire their documents WHILE they are setting up. Explain that one!
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,The reason is respect. For years, black people have been called various names due to the social climate (‘Auntie’ and ‘Boy,’ de facto names during segregation, are examples) or due to the lessening/degradation of manners (my father hates it when a 16-year-old clerk calls him by his first name without asking permission first). Because respect for age isn’t applied/accounted for in life, it is applied/accounted for in death.
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,If you would bother to actually comprehend the answers, you would see that the majority of black women who answered stated that YOU are responsible and accountable for how people respond to YOU – regardless of color or gender. Is this about true rudeness, or the fact that quite a few black men feel they can act any way they want, and women are supposed to let them, regardless of how selfish, childish or inappropriate the behavior? It’s been my experience that white and Asian women feel more pressure to have a mate, and will put up with any/all behaviors in order to get/have one; black and Hispanic women do not feel this pressure, so we are not as likely to just tolerate anything, just to say we have a male in our lives. Black and Hispanic women, on the other hand, usually have had to be accountable and responsible from an early age, which makes us less willing to tolerate anyone who is not. By black males having this tendency to put the blame of failed relationships on the other person – never them – this friction has resulted.
I can’t help but think of the ex-husband of one of my cousins, who made an interesting statement when the topic of black/white relationships came up at a family celebration. (His current wife is white, but he continues to attend various family functions, with his children). In being queried about why his relationship with his white wife had lasted longer than with his black one, he stated, ‘My white wife lets me get away with, and do irresponsible and selfish things that ____ would not tolerate. When I was with ____, I had to be responsible.’ Interesting statement!
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I just left a meeting, where I was sitting between two white women, and I had to get up and move because of the literal stench of their perfume!! Both were wearing way too much, and neither scent was subtle. It was so bad, that when one of the women started shifting around in her seat, I had to move, because the stench became so overt I started coughing. A number of the perfumes for sale today ‘assault’ the senses -I’ve noticed this when walking through department stores. The fact that people buy these scents has nothing to do with their race – for whatever reason, they actually like the scent, and feel some need to share it with everyone around them. My friends and family members wear subtle scents, and don’t overdo – and we just happen to be Black. Obviously, we weren’t given the ‘briefing’ on what we are supposed to wear!
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Maybe you experience these differences between black and white women because you approach/treat them differently. I’ve seen black males approach black women rudely, in a ‘You should be glad I’m speaking to you’ manner, and then turn around and treat white women with the utmost of respect. I’ve dated both black and white males, and the white males treated me considerably better than the black ones. When talking with the white guys, I had an opinion, and they actually listened to it; when I had a bad day, they listened and offered support. When talking with black guys, I’m there only to listen to them talk – a two-way conversation isn’t in the cards. And if I dare complain about having a bad day to a black male, more often than not I’m told in a surly tone, ‘You make more than I do – what do YOU have to complain about?’ Essentially, you get back what you give out. Take a look at how you deal with black women, and that will probably answer your question.
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Yes, black people can and do grow their hair long. In my mother’s family, all of the women either have or have had long hair (my grandmother could sit on her hair, it was so long). What the issue really is is one of maintenance. My grandmother kept her hair long; my mother, when she was working, had less time to do the necessary maintenance, so she wore her hair shorter (shoulder length). When she retired, she let it grow out, so now it falls halfway down her back. I, too have long hair (middle of my back), and while the maintenance takes a considerable amount of time, 1) I like having long hair, and 2) the look of disbelief from people is an extra ‘bonus.’ I am amazed by the strangers who will walk up to me and ask whether my hair ‘is grown or bought,’ or have the gall to touch it, ‘to see if it’s real.’ (I normally respond by grabbing a handful of their hair, and asking them the same question).
Also, in regard to maintenance, cost can become an issue. I do my maintenance myself, because when I priced having it done at various salons a few years ago, I was told by more that one beautician that she would have to charge me twice the basic fee, as it would take her twice as long to do my hair. While I felt her reasoning was fair, at that time I could not afford to have it done; now, I continue to care for my hair myself 1) as a matter of personal convenience (don’t have to leave the house), and 2) since I can care for it myself, honestly, I’d rather save the money.
In addition, there are some people who just prefer short hair. One of my cousins had beautiful long hair as a little girl (waist length), and as long as I can remember, she wanted to wear it short. She and her mother came to the agreement that if she wanted to cut it on her 16th birthday, she could do so. My cousin postponed her birthday party so that she could get her hair cut the minute she woke up on her birthday! She continues to maintain a short ‘do -simply because she prefers to.
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,How do you explain the preponderance of blacks in prison? By the preponderance of whites in law enforcement, that’s how.
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,The preponderance of blacks in prison is easily explained by the preponderance of whites in law-enforcement jobs! I’m followed regularly by white police officers while driving – to work, shop, during my college days, etc. I’m never ticketed for anything, but the harassment is enough to ‘annoy’ anyone – especially when you see whites blatantly violating any/all ‘rules of the road’, and no one pulls them over. Conveniently, the white police officers don’t see them — they’re too busy following suspicious-looking non-violators like myself.
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,My ‘petty jealousy’ as you deem to put it, comes from being treated insufferably by white women who think that by being white they are automatically better than me/any minority female by virtual default! I have to work with you – I don’t have to like any of you!! As far as I an concerned, the most beautiful people – inside and out – are black people. The most unattractive – inside and out – are whites. Ergo, stay with your own, so your pathology stays amongst your own- don’t ‘infect’ us with your crap!
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Who says you’re a far shot from ugly – you? I’ve yet to see a white woman who could outshine a black woman looks-wise! Just because you think you’re not ugly doesn’t mean you are viewed as favorably by others. Stay with your own!
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Name : G.E. Long, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
