Lisa

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  • in reply to: Should we rave about Raves? #31855

    Lisa
    Member
    I've been to a bunch of raves, and in my mind's eye they are about two things: 1) Music. A tremendous underground subculture surrounding electronica music has developed via the rave scene for the past 20 years and is now filtering out to mainstream pop culture. A large number of rave attendees go specifically to listen to a particular DJ or electronica type (Techno, Drum & Base, etc...) And 2) Drugs. Everything about a rave is built around creating the perfect environment for drugs, specifically Ecstasy. The lighting, music, all the paraphernalia (baggy pants to dance, pacifiers to ease jaw grinding, neon sticks, etc.). I would not consider the Ecstasy-resultant 'PLUR' kinds of feelings analogous to the 'mind expansion' of the -60s, which were driven by social revolution and a huge anti-war campaign. Frankly, X is far more hedonistic and contrived than that (maybe I'm giving the '60s too much credit.) But I really think X is just about feeling good and dancing. And while X fosters 'PLUR,' in my experience, it's a rare occurrence that the newly forged bonds ever outlast the high. From these two things a beautiful and unique outpouring of art (primarily design) and style has arrived that's eked its way into pop culture, specifically teenage pop culture.

    Note: Raves have changed significantly in the last decade. They're far more mainstream, and there are far more young people involved. When I started going, it was primarily professionals (lawyers, advertising execs) who liked the music and all that 'PLUR' jazz; it was very 'underground'; now it's teenagers who like the drug and subscribe to all the trappings of that subculture. If you want a real neo-hippie experience, I suggest going to 'Burning Man.' That's mostly professionals expressing themselves through art and community and yes, drugs. It's closer to the old-school rave mindset and less centered on X.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Female etiquette in India #42992

    Lisa
    Member
    I moved to India when I was 20 and experienced a minimum of any kind of sexual harassment. Here is my advice to you:
    1. In most places, wear at least short sleeves and always skirt/pants that reach your ankles. Do not wear low-cut shirts, halter tops, sleevless shirts or shorts. (Note: Long skirts are actually cooler than shorts). If your hair is blond, tie it back. The exceptions: You can wear shorts, bathings suits, etc. in the beach/tourism towns (Goa, Kerala, etc.). And in the major cities there are hotel discos where tighter tops and shorter skirts are acceptable, primarily because most disco attendees are fairly 'worldly.' Bombay is generally also more 'worldly.'
    2. You do NOT have to cover your face or hair. That is a practive limited to very strict Muslims and very conservative Hindu regions. I saw 'purdah,' the practice of covering one's face, mostly in Rajasthan, a conservative state. Also, Sikh women cover their hair. If you enter a Sikh temple you should cover your hair. Also, Kashmir, Pakistan and Bangladesh may be more stringent, as they are Muslim regions/nations. Altogether, consider the fact that India is diverse, that many people do many different things. There is a lot of latitude granted to foreigners, but it's even better if you get it right.
    3. Be culturally sensitive. If you're not sure, just ask. Indians are glad to answer. Do not act scared. India does not have the same character of violence the United States has. Common sense precautions will eliminate most risks, and in my opinion, acting scared of their 'repressive' culture is unnecessary. I found Indian men on the whole to be caring and helpful. Your confident body language and welcoming face will prevent a great deal of harassment simply by acting like you're walking through a sea of humans, not angry dogs. And if you get pinched, let it go. Worse things happen in the world. You can tell the police, but beware, the police will beat the perpetrator to near-death for his actions. Not worth it.
    4. Regarding bars: Chances are, if there's a bar, you can probably drink at it. Bars tend to be limited to tourism areas/hotels. But use common sense, i.e. don't drink alone and don't get drunk in a strange place. If you're with an Indian family, I'd refrain. Good luck and Namaste.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Barefoot at the ice cream stand #19576

    Lisa
    Member
    What's wrong with walking barefoot? I was raised in an upper middle-class neighborhood, and yet as a child, one of my favorite parts of summer was shedding my shoes - take off the constrictive closed toe and socks; wiggle my toes. It was fun. It still is. I suppose it's dangerous to some degree (hazards like glass and nails) but no more dangerous than a thousand other outdoor pleasures (picnics, hiking, swimming holes, bicycles, etc.). And as the summer progresses, feet get tougher, so they can handle hot pavement or little pebbles. I daresay not everyone does what they can afford, and there's a lot of fun in simplicity.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Americans vs. Europeans #40926

    Lisa
    Member
    Foucalt wrote a great book called A History of Sexuality. His thesis is that Americans are obsessed with the DISCOURSE of sexuality. He then takes us through Puritanical times, the Victorian era and all the way to MTV videos today. It makes sense; the Dominatrix and Born-agains have one thing in common; whether they approve or not, Americans like to talk about having sex AND about NOT having sex. Our media is far more saturated with sexual imagery than the European one and ironically, our cultural values are far more stringent (repressive, some would say) regarding sexual practice. I think other cultures treat sex as a healthy, normal part of life. In the States we have lifted the discourse to some obscene pedestal where we examine it from all angles. I think the European model falls more in line with Nike, i.e. 'Just do it.' I believe the same applies to eating in the United States. Europeans just eat, they stay relatively thin, relatively healthy. We obsess with food and sprout obesity and anorexia like it's going out of style. I also think, to some degree, the same goes for drinking; some moral judgment has been placed on it so it can be lifted to the same ugly pedestal that sex lies upon. Sometimes I think for a nation riddled with therapy and wealth, Americans are seriously out of touch with themselves, with their basic normal functions, even with their own bodies. It's a weird twist.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Is the Customer Always Right? #42702

    Lisa
    Member
    I used to work in retail. I was often ill-equipped to deal with customers because my training was so limited in regard to the clothing we sold. There were no commission incentives to motivate familiarizing oneself. The management did not keep us 'in the loop,' so we had no idea what was coming in or being sold. That said, the people I worked with were pleasant enough and worked hard enough. It was a boring job. And even with all our mistakes, our customers were, for the most part, very patient and friendly. The majority of customer abuse I encountered was from 'thieves.' It's so ironic, but people get more self-righteous when they are wrong. Often women would try to return dresses after wearing them once and would melt into a rage when we wouldn't accept them without the tags (even though our tags and return policy were clearly marked everywhere.) One woman tried a scam by paying $100 short in cash and then yelling at me for miscounting. She made a scene! It's not a generalization that applies to all things, but in retail, people seem to get nasty when you don't let them get away with something... And I think it's fair to say that in American culture, when people are uncomfortable or defensive they can respond by turning the volume up; I guess it helps convince themselves more than anything.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Inter-female bashing #17849

    Lisa
    Member
    There is a saying that goes, 'When a guy walks into a bar, the first thing he does is check out the girls; when a girl walks into a bar, the first thing she does is check out the girls.' In our culture, the basis for a lot of women's esteem is their appearance and the male response. It is also the basis for a lot of female insecurity. When an ego is directly dependent on male reactions then suddenly, every other woman becomes a competitor, a potential attention draw. It is a zero-sum game, with winners and losers, and the more insecure females verbalize this hierarchy to make themselves feel better about their own status. And of course, these same insecure women are especially threatened by other women who appear to not be playing the game at all. Nobody ever said women don't have their issues.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: ‘People of color’ – ugh #25134

    Lisa
    Member
    I'm white too, so please take my 'interpretation' with a grain of salt. When discussing the experiences of different minority groups, it is hard to generalize. Each group has a different underlying historical/sociological structure that affects how they have done and how they perceive and are perceived in the picture of our nation's community. For example, when discussing Afro-Americans and the Japanese, the similarities seem little, really only a shared heritage of suffering under majority oppression (which, hate to break it to you, is white people). How they came over is different, the institutional discrimination is different, the inner-group bonds/culture are different. Everything is different. But as minorities, as people who do not fit into what we would call 'Caucasion' or 'white,' they have a shared experience of discrimination. Whether it be feeling different in a predominantly white suburban school, or not being served, or being pulled over by the police more frequently, it is a common experience based on the color of their skin, or more specifically, a set of features that lead people to make sometimes faulty assumptions. And this common experience happens to 'people of color.' In the reverse, it's not about being 'white' per se. It's about being part of the majority group that has historically (and currently) been in power and (like so many groups in power) oppressive. Understanding institutionalized discrimination vs. the consistent and very real COVERT discrimination that people of all color undergo has helped transform my blanket bleeding heart (easily offended) liberalism into a greater sensitivity. And if it's hard to accept that as a white person you are consistently treated differently (usually better)in this society, well, I'm sorry.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: East Coast conceit #33645

    Lisa
    Member
    I was born and raised in Concord, Mass., right outside Boston, one of the hubs of Eastern snobbery and class consciousness. Other such 'hubs' can be found all throughout Massachusetts, in Connecticut, and in upstate New York. In regard to all the negative characteristics listed in your post, I think one can say fairly that they exist in a few places. The rest of New England (Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Connecticut and Rhode Island) and the East Coast (New York, Pennsylvania maybe) is primarily blue collar. They are millers, factory workers and fishermen. That's where those funny accents ('Do you drive yah cah in Hahvahd yahd?') originate. That's where the whole Irish-Italian thing comes from (and regrettably a lot of racial strife historically.) I have lived in D.C. as well, after college. In my opinion, it is NOT the East Coast. It's below the Mason-Dixon line and west of all of New England. Remember who you're meeting in D.C.: Clearly not the 80 percent-plus Afro-American populus that actually live in the city, clearly not the huge influx of Midwesterners trying to make their way, and clearly not the Southerners who live nearby. You must be meeting the small group of Ivy-Leaguer grads who were raised privileged and move out to D.C., subsidized by the family, to work in 'politics,' whatever that may be. Please be careful with your generalizations. As to who's making decisions in politics, I say wake up! It's been an elitist group for a a while now, with few exceptions (our current president being one of them.) Opportunity is in direct relationship with means. Maybe you should spend more energy noticing the people who don't have the power, because that's where empowerment begins.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Black people and smoking pot #29027

    Lisa
    Member
    Where I'm from, it appears that pot smoking is not a particularly well-hidden habit among white people at all. During college and after, I have known a host of white people who openly, publicly embody the 'stoner' image complete with bong on the coffee table and joint in the purse. My white parents smoked pot in front of me, too. And they are mainstream, non-hippy people. Perhaps the reason black people are 'going to prison for such widespread activity (if that really is why they're going to prison)' lies in the law enforcement and judicial system (racial biases and whatnot), since, in my observations, I have not noticed any discrepancy of the type you're suggesting.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Ahem – “Excuse me”? #43335

    Lisa
    Member
    Usually I flinch at these broad generalizations about any race, but I have to say, I have noticed this strange trend of either shoving or this strange oblivion to surrounding people. And I'm white. Now, before I read this question, I assumed that it was just a trait in rude people. But as I scour my memory I have to admit I've only seen it in white people, often among my peers. It could have some truth or it could be the fact that I'm around white people more often than other races. But if I had to characterize (and generalize) a negative aspect of white people it would not be as outright malicious or malevolent as assumed here (in some of the above responses). A lot of white people, due to their upbringing, are unknowingly destructive, unawares, blind to their surroundings, insensitive to other's needs cause THEY DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW. Not until I went to college on a diverse campus was I even aware of the entire world of problems facing people of color or the insanely inconsiderate behavior with which I may have been raised . This shoving example illustrates that beautifully. But again, perhaps this is more of a people trait. My exposure to other ethnitices, while fairly broad, is still significantly less than white people. I don't know: generalizations are so dangerous anyway.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Checking Out the Competition? #35085

    Lisa
    Member
    There's a joke that says, 'When a man enters a bar, he checks out the women; when a woman enters a bar, she checks out the women,' and it's true. Despite all the leaps and bounds women have made in the last 50 years, a woman's appearance is still paramount to her social and romantic success (and to some degree, professional success). Hence, these sort of meat-market singles venues are conducive to a competitive atmosphere regarding appearance. Call it culture, social Darwinism or just bad habits; I think it's a waste of time and energy. But I still do it.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Gay men who are unreliable #15488

    Lisa
    Member
    I live in Los Angeles where the general culture is one of unreliability. People run late as a matter of course and 'flake' or break committments all the time when something better comes up. I have absolutely no idea why. Being from Boston this habit still disconcerts me. I find it pretty offensive when people don't respect your time. That said, it wouldn't matter if a gay man or anyone else did it. It is distinctly the culture of Southern California. I don't know if there are similar such patterns in Australia.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: White people and their “human” pets #44068

    Lisa
    Member
    Some pet owners are fastidiously clean. Some have homes that reek of animal odor (and yes, I'm not too comfortable in these homes, either.) My pets have always lived somewhere in the middle. My home is hygienic. The reason animals live, to some degree, like family members is that they are just that. A dog or cat stays in the family for five to 20 years. They love unconditionally. There are a lot of human relationships that are more ephemeral. And technically speaking, dogs and cats are cleaner in many respects than humans.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: God: Who needs Him (or It, or Her)? #36949

    Lisa
    Member
    As long as there is the unexplicable, as long as there is suffering, and as long as there is love, there will be a need for God. Self-reliance is an admirable goal for those situations in which we have choices with clear answers. But much befalls a person outside of their control; death, disease, loneliness, rejection, celebration, love, the unexpected. And many decisions are not so clear. Faith is a leap of the irrational. It's the conscious decision to believe and TRUST in something that has no proof. I don't forsee any kind of future where humanity has all the answers, where faith is outdated, so in the meantime I take great comfort in my faith and in God.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    in reply to: Do Different Races Get Sick In Different Ways? #40544

    Lisa
    Member
    I'm not a doctor, but just as an observation I bet that more well-to-do white people are bigger hypochondriacs. I think when people don't have to battle every day for the basic necessities (food, clothing, shelter, security, safety) as well as their civil rights, they have more time to make/focus on other problems. It's a luxury to consider your happiness and well-being all the time. Whether this luxury is necessary or admirable, who's to say? But being white and rich a wimp does make. And I know. I was raised with these people. I am one of them. As comedian George Carlin said: 'Anorexia? White rich girls who don't eat? Ah, let 'em die. I've got bigger problems.'

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 25 total)