Inter-female bashing

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  • #10481

    Jose
    Participant
    I've noticed that most of the women in my work environment tend to talk badly about one another. They'll say things like, 'She is waaay too big to be wearing that skirt.' The guys I hang around with never say things like that about other guys. Why do girls do this to each other?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jose, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : West Palm Beach, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Graphic Design, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #14529

    Merlin
    Participant
    I think women learn that the most important aspect of their selves is their appearance. Our culture encourages women to pay enormous attention to the smallest details of their looks - clothing, hair, jewelry, fingernails, shoes, you name it. The remarks you hear may sound trivial and catty, and I think they are, too, but unfortunately, for many women this obsession with appearance is a big part of their existence. It's a big part of their opinion of another woman, and I don't think it's limited to females. The question I would ask you is not 'Do men criticize each other this way?', but rather 'Do men also criticize women this way?'

    User Detail :  

    Name : Merlin, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 38, City : Raleigh, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Graphic Designer, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 
    #26083

    Stacey
    Participant
    What you're talking about no doubt happens, and I know I've been apart of it myself. From what I know, most of it happens because of jealousy and ego. Women really observe other women, probably moreso than most men. Actually, I get very bothered with how much a female stranger will stare at my shoes or my pants, sometimes to the point of wanting to confront them and ask, 'What in the world are you staring at?' When it comes to physical appearance - both body shape and clothes, it seems women are very critical, while also being curious. We want to see what other women are wearing and compare it to our own wardrobe. On every side there's a conflict - if you're very attractive, other women will be extra picky ('She thinks she can pull anything off'), and if you're not so attractive and/or overweight, other women are very quick to criticize ('Why do they sell stretch pants in that size?'). This probably doesn't really answer your question as much as it might give insight. I think the bottom line is that we, women, can be very catty, especially when it comes to fashion/appearance. We might be jealous of someone who has a nice outfit, who gets a lot of attention, who looks better than us if we're used to looking better than them, etc. It's a shame that it happens, but it does.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stacey, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jehovahs Witness, Age : 28, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #17849

    Lisa
    Member
    There is a saying that goes, 'When a guy walks into a bar, the first thing he does is check out the girls; when a girl walks into a bar, the first thing she does is check out the girls.' In our culture, the basis for a lot of women's esteem is their appearance and the male response. It is also the basis for a lot of female insecurity. When an ego is directly dependent on male reactions then suddenly, every other woman becomes a competitor, a potential attention draw. It is a zero-sum game, with winners and losers, and the more insecure females verbalize this hierarchy to make themselves feel better about their own status. And of course, these same insecure women are especially threatened by other women who appear to not be playing the game at all. Nobody ever said women don't have their issues.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #23057

    Diana
    Participant
    We do it to each other because we're judgmental bey-otches like that. There are some girls who aren't, yes and kudos to them. But as a general rule, we're judgmental of other girls and want to feel as if we're better than the girl sitting next to us.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Diana, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 19, City : Glen Ellyn, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Homemaker, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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