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Mature 51-60

THE QUESTION:
SE60: To men: Why do so many of you desire to have a woman “deep-throat” you? This is difficult for a lot of women to do. Why isn’t normal oral sex enough?
POSTED FEB. 4, 1999
Sandra, white female, 23, Columbus , Oh

ANSWER 1:
Men like being deep-throated because they enjoy the feeling of the mouth over their entire penis. This more accurately duplicates the feeling of a vagina. There is a myth that the head of the penis is where all the erotic sensation is, but I find dedication to that spot uncomfortable. However, I understand what a difficult act this is and would never try to force the issue.
POSTED FEB. 23, 1999
Peter, 29, straight male <VoxMusica@aol.com>, Queens, NY

FURTHER NOTICE:
Most men like it for a variety of reasons. One obviously is that, put simply, it feels good. I feel the other reasons are of a psychological nature dealing with the heightened sexual pleasure one gets when doing something taboo or something that seems to be on the outer edge of what most would deem the “norm.”
POSTED FEB. 24, 1999
Greg, 41, white male <pitt4rngs>, Rock Island, IL
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THE QUESTION:
SE59: I’m curious about women’s opinions regarding uncircumcised men. I know that for the male during sex it does not affect performance or pleasure, but what about for the female? Do you have a preference, or does it make no difference, either in preference or sensation?
POSTED JAN. 18, 1999
Stuart, male <damn_strait@hotmail.com>, Australia

ANSWER 1:
From all that I have read, being uncircumcised most definitely does affect pleasure for the man, but only in a good way. Consider:

1) The foreskin has protective, sensory and sexual functions. The foreskin represents 50 percent to 80 percent of the skin system of the peni, depending on the length of the penile shaft. The average foreskin has more than three feet of veins, arteries and capillaries, 240 feet of nerve fibers and more than 20,000 nerve endings. Unfolded, the adult foreskin measures 15 to 20 square inches.

2) Just as the eyelids protect the eyes, the foreskin protects the glans and keeps its surface soft, moist and sensitive. It also maintains optimal warmth, pH balance and cleanliness. The glans itself contains no sebaceous glands that produce sebum, which moisturize the skin. The foreskin produces the sebum that maintains proper health of the surface of the glans.

3) As it becomes erect, the penile shaft becomes thicker and longer. The double-layered foreskin provides the skin necessary to accommodate the expanded organ and to allow the penile skin to glide freely, smoothly and pleasurably over the shaft and glans.

 

4) The mucous membranes that line all body orifices are the body�s first line of immunological defense. Apocrine glands in the foreskin produce antibacterial and anti-viral proteins such as lysozyme, which is also found in mother�s milk.

 

5) The foreskin is as sensitive as the fingertips or the lips of the mouth. It contains a richer variety and greater concentration of specialized nerve receptors than any other part of the penis. These specialized nerve endings can discern motion, subtle changes in temperature and fine gradations of texture.

6) One of the foreskin�s functions is to facilitate smooth, gentle movement between the mucosal surfaces of the two partners during intercourse (that last one is where my personal opinion comes in).

Sex with an uncircumcised man is more pleasurable – there is so much more sensation for both partners. I also prefer the look of an uncircumcised penis. I’m so glad my significant other is “uncut.” Of course I consider this normal. Many women, mostly American woman, don’t find uncircumcised penises aesthetically appealing because circumcision is so prevalant in American society. This is slowly changing as many people are now realizing circumsion is an unnecessary and harmful procedure. The cleanliness issue is a myth. As noted earlier, the foreskin acts as protection for the head of the penis, helping keep out infections, etc. Of course the penis should be kept clean, as should one’s entire body, whether they are circumcised or not. I hope I don’t make anyone that is circumcised or agrees with circumcision upset or angry, I just feel this knowledge should be passed on.
Dev, 20, female. <howdoyouwantit@hotmail.com>, Canada
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THE QUESTION:
SE58: I wonder, do some gay men find feces erotic? Do some find it distasteful and try to avoid it? Or do they feel about it the same way a straight man might feel about vaginal fluids?
POSTED JAN. 4, 1999
Joe, 31, single white male, San Francisco, CA

ANSWER 1:
Since your question was pretty vague, I am going to have to do some extrapolation on what I think you were asking. First, there is a fetish for people who are into playing with feces. This is both a gay and straight fetish. The slang term for the fetish is “scat.” I am not into this, but I have seen my share of books and stores involving it. I am active in the fetish community in my area, and from what I have observed, there are more straight guys into this than anything.

Now maybe that’s not what you were asking about, and since you made the homosexual reference, maybe you were more curious about how people who engage in anal sex feel about feces. I only like anal sex if there is not any feces present. I have been on both ends where even through the motions of anal sex and using lube and all that, feces has come out and gotton on me and my partner, and I can tell you, I lose my erection right away and am totally grossed out, and the mood is turned off like a light switch. Thus, I try very hard to be very clean whenever I know I am going to engage in anal sex, and my partner does the same.
POSTED JAN. 6, 1999
Di, 26, bisexual male, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
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THE QUESTION:
SE57: A female email acquaintance turned me onto Nancy Friday’s books about women’s sexual fantasies. Do these stories represent the fantasies of a lot of women, or just a small minority?
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
Lazarus, 51, white male, Atlanta, GA

ANSWER 1:
I don’t know how you’d know for sure if Nancy Friday’s books represent the fantasies of al ot of women; I think even a survey would be unlikely to get completely honest answers. But I can tell you that I used to think I was a weird, perverted sicko before I read her book Women on Top. When I first read it, I felt a great sense of relief to find that I wasn’t as weird as I thought I was. Or, depending on your point of view, that I am weird, but I just have a lot of company. It was enlightening, freeing and fascinating to read, among other things (enough said). Best 15 bucks I ever spent. I also think it shows that women aren’t as pure, nice, cerebral and into sex only with love as we’re made out to be (or make ourselves out to be?). From memory, Nancy Friday said in her book that she chose the fantasies as common representatives of the range of fantasies she received, but I’m not sure about that.
POSTED JAN. 7, 1999
Jenny H. white, fat girl, Wellington, New Zealand
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THE QUESTION:
SE56: Isn’t masturbation essentially a homosexual act?
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
I.D.D., Houston , TX

ANSWER 1:
Masturbation is not an act exclusive to homosexuals. All God’s children, OK, almost all God’s children masturbate. Try it sometime; with a little imagination it can be a lot more fun than another episode of Jerry Springer or Falwell. I’m equally curious about where you picked up that little nugget of misinformation.
POSTED DEC. 30, 1998
Mike, 39, gay white male, NC

FURTHER NOTICE:
I’ve always agreed with the adage, “98 percent of all men will confess (sometimes hesitantly) to masturbation; the other 2 percent are generally considered to be liars.” God wouldn’t have put a joy button so easily within reach if he hadn’t intended you to push it once in a while.
POSTED JAN. 19, 1999
Jeff E., white male, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Homosexual acts you do with someone of your own sex. Heterosexual acts you do with someone of the opposite sex. Masturbation is something you do with yourself. Maybe it’s “self-sexual.”
POSTED FEB. 10, 1999
Aris A., 21, white/Hispanic female <Arissssss@aol.com>, Alameda, Bay Area, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Masturbation is done by males and females of all sexual orientations. I am a straight female who looks forward to masturbation when my fiance is not available. He masturbates as well. We masturbate together before intercourse. It’s a wonderful thing.
POSTED MARCH 18, 1999
Turned-on female, Escondido, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
The question raises a very valid point and I would like to reframe it like this: Conventionally, straight men are supposed to get sexually aroused by the female body and vice versa. The body of a same-sex person is supposed not to induce any sexual feeling in a straight (Kinsey 1, say) person. From this viewpoint, isn’t masturbation, in a sense, homosexual in nature? I am not very sure about the answer, but I think the question raises a point that is important in analyzing stereotyping of sexual emotions..
POSTED APRIL 7, 1999
Mohan, male, 24 <arp220@hotmail.com>, Karnataka, India
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THE QUESTION:
SE55: How and why is female circumcision performed?
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
M.C. 18, Newcastle, United Kingdom
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THE QUESTION:
SE54: Are there any statistics showing women’s preferences to circumcised penises rather than uncircumcised ones? As far as I am concerned, I hate uncircumcised penises; they kind of look ugly and far less tidy compared to circumcised ones. I’ve only once had oral and normal sex with a man whose penis was not circumcised. I didn’t enjoy it at all. Do most women agree with me?
POSTED DEC. 9, 1998
Graciela M., 21, white single woman <kiko45@hotmail.com>, Mexico City, Mexico

ANSWER 1:
I, too, used to have reservations about sex with an uncircumcised man. After all, all the men I had been with had been circumcised, so this is what I had always known. However, at 41, I met a very wonderful man who was uncircumcised. I was uncomfortable verbalizing the thoughts that had been going through my head, but after several months, the topic came up in bedtime conversation. After hearing his perspective on not being circumcised (how glad he was that he was not) and how it enhances sexual pleasure, I began to appreciate how much I had come to enjoy that little extra in our lovemaking. Instead of being “different,” it is part of who he is as an individual. Sexy is, after all, a state of mind.
POSTED JAN. 18, 1999
Widowed female, 41, New York , NY
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THE QUESTION:
SE53: To women: Is there a way I can turn my new girlfriend on to letting me ejaculate in her mouth? Until we met, she was uncomfortable with giving oral sex, period. She enjoys it now, with me, but fears male fluids.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
B. Winters <BIIBRI@AOL.COM>, University Park, PA

ANSWER 1:
Maybe she’s just not ready to go that far with you. You said she was your “new” girlfriend. I know I wouldn’t be ready to have any kind of sex with a new boyfriend until I really knew him well. Maybe you can ask her why she seems to fear what you’re asking of her. Just talk to her, and maybe she’ll open up to you.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Kristi M., St. Petersburg, FL

FURTHER NOTICE:
Let her know it’s something you like, and then let it be – it’s even harder to make up your mind about something like that if you feel you’re being pressured. Let her know that you’ll abide by her wish not to come in her mouth, and respect her feelings. When she’s ready, she’ll let you know. That should be “if” she’s ready – many women just don’t like having semen in their mouths.
POSTED DEC. 1, 1998
Catherine H. <tylik@eskimo.com>, Woodinville, WA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
There are a lot of reasons she may not want to, from religious to health reasons. If she has any religious or social taboos with taking sexual fluids orally, you will have to work through those. She may just be nervous, if she has never done it before, and as mentioned if you two are new to one another, she may be worried about disease. One way to calm that fear is for both of you to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. One thing that is very important is fair turnaround; if you want her to do this for you, you should be willing to reciprocate. Is she comfortable with you performing oral sex on her, and is she comfortable with you getting her vaginal juices in your mouth? Another thing I would suggest (and if you cringe at this, then you should not expect her to allow you to swallow), you should eat some of your own ejaculate after having sex. Show her how you enjoy it and how it’s OK to do so. It can be very erotic; you can ejaculate on her and then lick it off. If you do that for her, then she may be more willing to do it for you, but if you’re unwilling to do that, then why should she do it?
POSTED DEC. 2, 1998
Dondi M., 26, bisexual male <lnx@netcom.com>, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
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THE QUESTION:
SE52: I am afraid my girlfriend may have a medical problem that she will not have checked out. When we make love, she likes me to nearly fist her and go as far inside as I can possibly reach. I enjoy the experience also, but afterward there is usually a great deal of her blood on me. As I keep my nails trimmed pretty low, I cannot think of what it may be, other than she has a medical issue. However, she will not go see a doctor about it. Am I worrying needlessly? This has not happened with past lovers, so I am very frightened. Is there something I should know? Will this go away on its own? Is this common?
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
A., male, Tampa, Fl

ANSWER 1:
Some women have a very sensitive cervix that can bleed easily when manipulated. During fisting, you are probably making firm and constant contact with the cervix. Another possibility is that you are not using enough lubrication. Skin will absorb vaginal fluids pretty quickly, and a large surface area of skin is in contact with the vaginal walls during this activity. Dry vaginal tissue will tear quite easily, and this can also be a source of bleeding. Though the tissue will repair fairly easily on its own, she does run a risk of infection if this is occurring. Please be aware that this prolonged contact with her blood is a high-risk activity for transmitting HIV and hepatitis viruses.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Female health care provider

FURTHER NOTICE:
As a woman, all I can say is that you should really urge her to go to the doctor. That is very strange and very painful sounding. If you’re talking about vaginal entry, that sounds extremely painful. When having sexual intercourse, from a woman’s point of view, there’s a “limit” on how far you can go up into her. Anything after that, yes – there will be blood. As for you, I advise you to stop that because it is dangerous. I’m not saying that your hands are dirty, but women have internal equipment, and the smallest thing could give us an infection, or even worse. Play it safe, buddy!
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
A. Bailey, Bridgeport, CT

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
First, do see a doctor. If everything is OK, I suggest using latex or nitrile gloves and water-based lubricant for later play. They are not expensive, a barrier to disease, and they feel very good.
POSTED DEC. 21, 1998
E. Williams, 26, bisexual white female, Madison, WI
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THE QUESTION:
SE51: To women: Which do you prefer most, to be the receivers or givers of sexual pleasure?
POSTED NOV. 17, 1998
Curtis P., male, 21 <pettijoc@mailexcite.com>, San Diego, CA

ANSWER 1:
I like to be the receiver.
POSTED DEC. 22, 1998
Kris, female, Alstead , NH

FURTHER NOTICE:
The biggest sexual turn-on, empowering, humbling experience, happy-making, giving, wonderful thing I can do is give my partner pleasure. Of course, who am I to deny him that in return?
POSTED FEB. 10, 1999
Aris A., white/Hispanic female <Arissssss@Aol.com>, Alameda, Bay Area, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Nothing turns me or my fiance on more than pleasing each other and knowing that we are going to be pleased in the end. I am extremely turned on when I see his body twitch with pleasure, and when he’s turned on like that, receiving is all that much better.
POSTED MARCH 18, 1999
Turned on female, Escondido , CA

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