Gender Questions 131-140

THE QUESTION:
GE132: To men: Who is more attractive: A woman with a model’s body but an ugly face, or an average-bodied woman with a pretty face?
POSTED APRIL 19, 1999
Sarah, 14, female, Los Angeles, CA

ANSWER 1:
I’m sure you will find that men have different tastes and definitions of beauty, but I must say from my own life experience I have found only one definition that captures what I feel is the explanation of a beautiful woman. It has little or nothing to do with size and shape, age or race. A beautiful woman seems comfortable with herself in the environment she is in and carries an aura of elegance and grace in her posture and movement. She is nurturing, intelligent, witty and self-controlled. She seems to hold a mystery that deepens as she grows older, and her uniqueness and beauty matures as each year passes. The feminine radiance of a womea flowers as she exhibits her natural character. This may not be what you wanted to hear, but I hope you find the wisdom of looking toward developing your inner beauty and avoiding the soul and self-esteem vacuum associated with marketed beauty.
POSTED APRIL 20, 1999
Dave, male <gilstrap@ms13.hinet.net>, Taipei, Taiwan

FURTHER NOTICE:
Prepare your young self for a couple of revelations: Not all men find a “model’s body” the ideal. Also, never forget that one man’s ugly will be another man’s gorgeous. I hope that you, as a young woman, are able to accept your own beauty, and are not judging yourself or other women by an arbitrary standard (one that seems to be created and maintained largely by men who aren’t even attracted to women). That said, I guess I’m greedy. I refused to settle, so I married a woman with both a beautiful face and fabulous body, and I didn’t wait for Hollywood’s approval.
POSTED APRIL 20, 1999
Sam, 31, male, brown American <SamAlex67@aol.com>, Chicago , Il

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I find the eyes the most important part of a woman’s physical appeal. Therefore, I’d have to say the face is more important than the body. And concerning the body, I’ve always favored the Rubenesque ideal.
POSTED APRIL 20, 1999
Zach S., 20, white male <nizrael@hotmail.com>, Terre Haute , IN

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I find a girl’s face is more important than her body, as I try to spend some time actually talking to the girl , which means looking at her face and, gasp, making eye contact, a revolutionary conecept, it seems. That means I am not spending all my time staring at her chest. On the other hand, one of my friends who is just into the physical thing could not even tell you what color a girl’s hair is until he sees the girl without her pants on.
POSTED APRIL 20, 1999
15-year-old male <magic_user@email.com>, Philadelphia , PA

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Of the choices you presented, I’d pick the woman with the average body and the pretty face. But even more attractive is a woman with a sharp wit and self-confidence.
POSTED APRIL 20, 1999
Andrew, 35, married <ziptron@start.com.au>, Huntington , NY

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Body wins the first glance but is fleeting, face attracts longer, personality wins – by a mile.
POSTED APRIL 20, 1999
Steve, male, TX
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THE QUESTION:
GE131: I was wondering why some men with hair loss grow it long on one side and comb it over the top. I know it’s probably traumatic to lose one’s hair, but do men who do this really think nobody else notices that? They look just fine without doing it.
POSTED APRIL 7, 1999
Kellie L., 25, female, Medford , OR

ANSWER 1:
I am going bald and keep my hair cropped short. However, I rarely see the top of my head and am surprised when I do at how bald I am. So some men may actually not realize how they look. But the answer to this question might be to turn it around – why do women wear make-up, when it is obvious they are wearing it and would look better without it? In both cases, it’s just an individual choice to try and look better. In the case of bald men doing this when it obviously looks strange, it may be fashion sense: You don’t see too many men wearing Armani suits with their hair combed this way.
POSTED APRIL 8, 1999
Steve, 42, male and follicly impaired, Houston , TX

FURTHER NOTICE:
Well, there is long and combed over the top, and just combed over. For me (I am going bald) I am used to getting my hair cut a certain way, and combing it a certain way, and it is just a hard habit to break. But then I don’t intentionally let my hair grow long to do this. I happen to also not like getting my hair cut. I’ll let it grow until it gets down over my ears, then have it cut back up over my ears. This way, I can go longer between haircuts. Usually, I just tell the barber/hairdresser “up off the ears, and short all the way around.” What this actually gets me is reasonably short hair on the sides, but a little longer hair on top. They don’t like bald people in barber shops, I guess. Anyhow, I’m not particularly picky, so I just live with it, and comb my hair the way I learned as a kid.

I think there are some men who really do feel they are putting one over on you – that it makes them look like they have more hair than they really do. In my opinion, if done well, this can work to a degree. But it has never been my intention to decieve.
POSTED APRIL 8, 1999
Kyle, 33, single white male, WASP, balding <kyle.brown@bently.com>, Carson City, NV

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I have noticed that growing hair long and combing it over tends to stem from the media. I have seen several men grow there hair long and cover the bald spot; it fits their style. With a pair of blue-blockers (sunglasses),and a pack of Winstons in a v-neck shirt pocket, the hair couldn’t look better. Most mature men I see aren’t afraid of the balding hair. Some even think it is a sign of knowledge and experience.
POSTED APRIL 8, 1999
Icarus <icarusart@netscape.com>, North Jersey, NJ

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
The top of my head is susceptible to sunburn. Any more questions?
POSTED APRIL 13, 1999
Chromedome, male <jengel@isoc.net>, USA
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