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General Diversity Questions 51-60

THE QUESTION:
GD60: Does racism exist in the United States to the level shown by the film and news industries, or do they exaggerate it?
POSTED JAN. 28, 1999
Sally P., 39, female <j.ibsgaard@get2net.dk>, Vejen, Denmark

ANSWER 1:
That’s kind of hard to answer without knowing what’s being shown on the news in your country. Can you give some examples?
POSTED JAN. 29, 1999
D.M.M., white, female <donikam@hotmail.com>, Charleston, SC

FURTHER NOTICE:
You can almost rest assured that unless you were watching a historical or present-day documentary, it was exaggerated. The film and news industries are in the business of getting people to watch them, and racial unrest is a huge topic to spark people’s interest
POSTED MARCH 16, 1999
Kyle, 30, black male <kyllr2v231@aol.com>, San Francisco, CA
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THE QUESTION:
GD59: I am doing research for a class on cross-cultural birth control methods. I keep finding things on the net that are described as “ineffective” or “dangerous.” I want to know about safe, effective methods that are outside what the medical mainstream wants us to know about (mostly dangerous methods in my opinion).
POSTED JAN. 26, 1999
Will G., male, Las Cruces, NM
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THE QUESTION:
GD58: What is the justification for increased penalties for “hate crimes”? Why should an assault motivated by greed incur a lesser sentence than one motivated by the victim’s race or religion? To me, the only mitigating factor that should be reasonably recognized is premeditation; eg. accidental vehicular homocide vs. a planned murder. The idea of “hate crime” smacks awefully close to Orwell’s concept of “thought crime” in my book.
POSTED JAN. 19, 1999
Jeff E., 37, male, Redondo Beach, CA

ANSWER 1:
You say the only legitimate aggravating factor in dealing with crime is premeditation. What could be more premeditated than a bias crime? Targeting someone as a victim just because of the way that person looks, loves or thinks is about as premeditated as you can get, I would think, and strikes right at the heart of an orderly, respectful society. That’s why bias crimes are treated more forcefully (or should be).
POSTED JAN. 20, 1999
Andrew, 35, Jewish <ziptron@start.com.au>, Huntington , NY

FURTHER NOTICE:
What is the justification for increasing penalties for cop-killings, multiple killings, killings during robbery, killing children or drug-related killings? Some crimes are so heinous and offensive that we say they should be treated more harshly. The criteria is not always consistent. Cross-burning is protected speech now. Cosby’s kid’s killer was not charged with a hate crime, even though race played the main part in his choice of a victim, because robbery was his main motive. The bigger danger of focusing on hate crimes is that it allows people to falsely think “I’m not racist because I don’t use violence against X group.” One civil rights leader said he didn’t worry much about Klansmen in sheets, he worried about the ones in business suits.
POSTED JAN. 20, 1999
ACC, Mexican and American Indian, San Antonio , TX

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
If the target of a crime was targeted because of their difference (race, color, religion, national origin, physical or mental challanges, sexual orientation, gender) then a level of pre-meditation has occurred. For example, in many jurisdictions, robbing a store is a crime, as is murder. But if you kill someone while you are in the process of committing a felony, then the statute argues for a more severe penalty. In the military (specifically, the Air Force), if a fight breaks out, and during the fight someone uses a racial epithet, it may not be classified as an Equal Opportunitty Treatment Incident (EOTI). However, if the epithet were used before the attack, the likelihood of it being classified as an EOTI is dramatically increased.
POSTED JAN. 20, 1999
Frank G., White Anglo-Hispanic Pagan, 31 <gonzalez1@hauns.com>, Alamogordo , NM

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
You get mugged, hey, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. You get victimized in a hate crime and you are terrorized by the idea that the assault may be the first of several. It’s random vs. personal.
POSTED JAN. 20, 1999
B. Hale, white <halehart@aol.com>, Hartford , CT

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
If a group of women who feel that all men are pigs decide to get together every Friday night and lure the first man they meet into a car and then beat the hell out of him, do you think the distinction as to why the crime was committed would be a minor factor? Particularly since that action will be repeated if focus is not drawn to why it occurred in the first place?
POSTED JAN. 20, 1999
Alma, white lesbian <pridewks@seacove.net>, Kempner , TX

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
In America, everyone has the right to hate. In fact, the Constitution affords each of us the right to live as inclusively or exclusively as we choose. However, while hate itself is an individual choice. Hateful “deeds” are different in that they are actions against others that are punishable by law. The federal government has a moral and ethical obligation to intervene in behaviors that are deemed unusually viscious, inhumane, mean-spirited, unnatural, etc. People organize their lives around their identities and beliefs, so attacks on either become matters of common good and civil wrongs. Annually, our country spends millions on crime prevention education, and there is proof that most strategies, when implemented properly, do work. For instance, we can be warned about the dangers of traveling alone or flashing large amounts of money, etc, .but there is no sane or reasonable way to prepare one for situations when skin or beliefs alone present an imminent danger. It would be like telling black people “don’t be black there, but it’s safe to be black over here.” The bottom line is that when hate crimes do occur, the government has a duty to shield and protect those of us who are willing to deal with our differences and “isms” in more civil and humane ways. Hate crimes do receive more public scrutiny and media attention, but keep in mind that the perpetrator is being punished not for the hate itself but rather for the socially unacceptable and viscious “deeds” committed – crimes often viewed as distinguishing man from beast.
POSTED JAN. 21, 1999
Dee W. black female <Westde@hiram.edu>, Cleveland , Oh
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THE QUESTION:
GD57: Can someone please explain to me what the Ku Klux Klan is all about, other than what I see on theJerry Springer Show?
POSTED JAN. 6, 1999
P.J., 16, Asian <cool_pinoy8@hotmail.com>, San Diego, CA

ANSWER 1:
I’m sure many can give you in-depth histories of the Klan. I can only give you my definition from what I witnessed as a white child in North Carolina in the 1960s. A bunch of cowards in bedsheets; usually drunk, always in groups because they were too afraid to act out their hate alone. Their primary idealogy was (and is) to preserve the “superior white race” through terrorism of the black community. Murders and rapes were routinely commited in the name of white justice. And quite frankly, I don’t care who this message offends; I saw too many ugly things from these idiots. In my opinion, they do not in any way qualify as any form of legitimate organization.
POSTED JAN. 27, 1999
Alma, white lesbian <pridewks@seacove.net>, Kempner , TX
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THE QUESTION:
GD56: Would someone please explain what is so wonderful about hip-hop music? To me, the music is generally poorly constructed, the voices blah and the lyrics pathetic and/or crude.
POSTED DEC. 11, 1998
jprhedd <jprhedd@hotmail.com>, West Palm Beach, FL

ANSWER 1:
Hip Hop music is a form of poetry and the greatest form of expression for young people around the world. African Americans embrace this as their own, along with R&B. I and other minorities can identify with the lyrics because they are speaking the truth. I admit, some rappers do suck, especially the ones who talk about what they have all day long. But a real hip hop head doesn’t have to speak about all that because the fans know his capabilities, not his possessions or how many Benzes he has and “hasn’t even drove yet.” Also, I do feel it is worth mentioning that Hip Hop is a way of life; the music is rap. You may not understand the whole message of the music and beats, and maybe that’s why you dislike it – which is fine, because you are entitled to your own opinion. Still, I don’t dig soft rock, rock, metal, goth, sk8 and all the others, but I’ll never disrespect your music style and taste, as you did with the question. Maybe if you would ask in a better manner, you’ll get a better response. To each his own, remember.
POSTED DEC. 14, 1998
A. Bailey, Bridgeport, CT

FURTHER NOTICE:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Hip-hop attracts some and not others. Every type of music has things people like and dislike. The very thing you don’t like about hip-hop, someone else may absolutely love. You could ask the question about anything: Music, food, clothes, television, books, cars, etc. Different strokes for different folks.
POSTED DEC. 14, 1998
J. Sin, white male, GA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Art is pure opinion. While some hip-hop is extremely poor in all your mentioned areas, some of it is simply another way of viewing the classical world of music, in a fast-paced manner that keeps the attention of popular culture (which has an attention span of all of three seconds on a good day with the wind helping them). While few teenagers today have the patience to read Shakespeare’s classic “Romeo and Juliet,” many will sit through an 18-second lyric in Semisonic’s song “Singing in my Sleep” about the story.
POSTED DEC. 14, 1998
Pop/classical/jazz/country/rap/blues music fan, Elkins Park, PA
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THE QUESTION:
GD55: How do mothers defend their sons who have been convicted of raping/killing women? How do they balance the love they have for their son with the fear and anger most women feel when seeing these monsters?
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
Eva M., 27, DINK, female <emm1942@bjcmail.carenet.org>, St. Louis, MO
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THE QUESTION:
GD54: To people who are undergoing or have undergone fertility treatments: How do you justify spending thousands of dollars in an attempt to have a baby when there are millions of children in the United States and around the world who need families? Are other people’s children viewed as “used goods”?
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Heidi J., 31, childless <heidij@ix.netcom.com>, Simi Valley, CA

ANSWER 1:
There are several reasons people may choose to employ artificial insemination or other fertility treatments to give birth to children rather than to adopt children. For some, the process of pregnancy, birthing, nursing, etc. is seen as a wondrous miracle, nurturing and rewarding, fulfilling a primordial creative urge, a natural affirmation of one aspect of womanhood. For others it is a type of immortality – a continuation of a family bloodline or gene pool. As part of the animal kingdom, humans may even exhibit some of the lingering animal need for dominant males to ensure their own progeny (as displayed by male lions killing the pride cubs of a prior dominant male). Much of the concept of legitimacy and illegitimacy is based on a traditional desire of men to ensure inheritance (including sovereignty) to their “natural” children. Men could have many wives and concubines, but women were expected to be monogamous to assure indisputable paternity.

Having children of their own may also represent a visible bond between two people who love each other – a part of a dearly loved person that will live on after the loved one is gone. To see their grandparents’ eyes in their grandchild’s face is to reaffirm their place in the continuation of life. For lesbians, single women or others who have either been legally prevented from adopting or otherwise encountered prejudicial obstacles to adoption, artificial insemination may be both a less expensive and more expedient alternative to adoption. While there may be some potential parents who look down on adoptable children as “bastards,” “junkie’s kids,” “problem children,” or “used goods,” I suspect many simply want to experience the miracle of birth. Others may be frightened by highly publicized cases of birth parents suing to re-establish parental rights to children supposedly given up for adoption.
POSTED DEC. 21, 1998
DykeOnByke, 48, lesbian mother and soon-to-be grandmother <DykeOnByke@aol.com>,Southfield , MI
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THE QUESTION:
GD53: Why is there such a stigma attached to disciplining your children? Can a light smack (not in anger) really psychologically harm your child? Are pleasant, obedient children not preferable to demanding, naughty children who threaten us that if we smack them they will “report” us?
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Tiffany B. <Burbunch@bigpond.com>, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

ANSWER 1:
Having worked in the field of child protective services, let me assure you that children not only do threaten their parents, but they do call the authorities and report them. The majority of times the calls are made by out-of-control teens seeking revenge and more freedom. When they see the consequences of their actions (possible foster care), it sometimes changes the story dramatically. Probably the government has sent a wrong message to kids. On the other hand, there are babies dying out there, and many children are in need of protection. It is sometimes hard to know where to draw the line.
POSTED DEC. 11, 1998
jprhedd <jprhedd@hotmail.com>, Palm Beach , Fl

FURTHER NOTICE:
How to punish a child is definitely not something many people can agree on. What most parents do not know, though, is the effect hitting or spanking can have on a child. The point that always sticks in my mind is that children learn from adults. How can an adult hit a child, but teach them that hitting is not an appropriate way to act out anger? Not only does hitting a child teach them that hitting is OK, and when you get mad at someone that is what you should do, but it causes the child to feel a sense of fear toward this adult. Children should look up to adults for guidance, not fear them. A child cannot learn from someone they fear. Please think of the alternatives to physical punishment, and help your child grow to respect you.
POSTED DEC. 14, 1998
Dawn, female <dawn0621@hotmail.com>, Chicago, IL

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
The word “discipline” is derived from the word “disciple,” which means to teach. If “smacking” is what you wish to teach your children, that is your choice. However, acceptable behavior can be acheived using many other (and, in my opinion, better) teaching methods. Check your local Social Services or Community Ed. office. I believe we’ll all be a better people the sooner we treat everyone with respect.
POSTED JAN. 4, 1999
D.B., 42, American, MN

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
My mother was left with the responsibility of raising seven children alone, and that responsibility included discipline. Perhaps we live in a different world than when I was a child, or perhaps these respondents who pontificate about total abstinence from corporal punishment live in a different world. My mother rarely administered physical discipline as a result of an angry outburst. Usually the “offender” was made fully aware of his/her transgression and, of course, such punishment was only used as a last resort. It was almost ritualistic. Neither I nor any of my siblings have turned out to be violent savages or child abusers. Quite the opposite: I, for one, learned from my mother’s discipline that bad or harmful behavior will have harmful (and often painful) consequences. Further, knowing what it feels like to be on the receiving end of violence has made me shy away from any situation in which I may be forced to either suffer or inflict physical harm. Perhaps it is possible to raise a child without ever laying a hand on them, but if I were to have a child who I felt needed such a guidance supplement, I would not hesitate to judiciously administer it
POSTED FEB. 10, 1999
Sam, 30, male, brown American <SamAlex67@aol.com>, Chicago , Il
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THE QUESTION:
GD52: What is the worst thing you would eat for a million dollars?
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Alan N., 43 <ginoboy22@aol.com>, Kaneohe, HI

ANSWER 1:
Meat.
POSTED DEC. 14, 1998
Young white vegetarian, Austin, TX

FURTHER NOTICE:
Chocolate- covered ants. Even with hot sauce, you couldn’t disguise the taste.
POSTED JAN. 27, 1999
Alma “get your own bag” Texan <pridewks@seacove.net>, Kempner , TX
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THE QUESTION:
GD51: I have recently heard people at work use the term “jiggy” in various contexts. For instance, “Today I feel a little jiggy,” “That guy is really jiggy” or such and such a movie “was jiggy,” etc. Where did this term come from and is it cool to use, or is it offensive? One guy told me it started on Seinfeld. Another claimed to have heard it on The Simpsons. I am definitely out of the loop of this one.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Fjohns, Napa, CA

ANSWER 1:
Jiggy means you look nice. It means that you have on nice, rather expensive clothing. There’s another meaning for that word also: It’s a dance originated by that clown Will Smith.
POSTED NOV. 28, 1998
A. Bailey, Bridgeport, CT

FURTHER NOTICE:
To A. Bailey: Don’t player-hate. There is no reason to insult Will Smith. He brought “jiggy” to the mainstream. He is a force to be reckoned with and admired. He is an excellent role model – a strong, loving family man who is very successful without using offensive language in his music.
POSTED JAN. 14, 1999
T.A., Raleigh, NC

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Just an honest question here: What does the term “player hate” mean? I’ve heard it here and there, and I have a hard time figuring it out.
POSTED JAN. 19, 1999
John K., 25 <the-macs@geocities.com>, Cranford, NJ

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
To player hate is to deny another person the respect they are due, or to otherwise find some way to destroy and/or undermine their game (whatever endeavor they are presently engaged in).
POSTED JAN. 27, 1999
Gregory, 21, black male <december@brigadoon.com>, MD

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Player hate or “playa hate” means to tear someone down because they have achieved something you find desireable that eludes you. It has the same connotation as sour grapes.
POSTED JAN. 28, 1999
Tracy, 31, African American, female
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