Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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I wish that people would read the posting carefully before replying with their ‘interpretation.’ SoulOnIce, Marita clearly stated that she was referring to ‘some’ parents. Since she works in a school in a low-middle school neighborhood, the obvious assumption is that some of the parents in that school put little attention on academic achievement – not ALL low-income parents, as you assumed. As a person who grew up poor as well, I took no offense at the question or any underlying assumption.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Having been born and raised in New York City, I’d be happy to give you my impressions of the Midwest. I have never visited any part of it, but I see it (aside from Chicago) as a somewhat conservative, perhaps prejudiced, homogeneous, church-going, laid-back place. There are a lot of farms, populations are spread out and there are a lot of undisturbed natural areas. National stores and eateries are the primary shopping choices. I think a significant minority of people are bored there. Now those are just my impressions, they of course could be very wrong. Also, the way I described it need not be viewed as either positive or negative. Personally, I’m too accustomed to getting around without a car and having a wide variety of restaurants, stores and even movie selections, which even here in the Lehigh Valley is lacking. Those reasons may be part of why some people on the coasts think where they live is better. Of course I think that ‘excitement’ means sensory overload, ‘convenience’ means expense, and ‘high-energy’ means stress. It just depends on one’s outlook.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,First, check with your doctor to rule out any physical problems. This happens to me on occassion but usually only after having sex. I think the semen crusts at the tip and interrupts the stream. If I urinate right after it doesn’t happen, I guess because its flushed away.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,This question seemed to draw out the extremes on both ends but I’m guessing my response may be more typical of how people REALLY feel. First, I grew up in New York City and enjoyed a diverse collection of classmates, co-workers and friends. By any rational standard I would never be labeled a racist by anyone who knows me. [I’m prefacing to try and give perspective and not to act as an excuse.] Most of me feels ‘Vive la difference’ Who you like is who you like. However part of me IS irritated when I see black men and white women together. I think there are various reasons for this. First, I believe, is the white-woman-as-the-pinnacle-of-beauty racism that is prevalent in our society. That may be ironic since I’m Anglo/Latin and married to an Asian woman! Secondly, I’m just as irritated that there are so few white men/black women couples–comparatively speaking–so it does sort of play into the idea of both the black men and white women looking for ‘trophies’ [though of different sorts]. Why? If all blacks and all whites were simply choosing partners of their preference, there should be equal numbers of both types of couples. Lastly and lately I’ve noticed that in six of the seven different interracial couples I know or know of personally, the guy is a bum: either abusing, cheating or otherwise taking advantage of the woman. This last point may not seem germane as that can happen in any couple configuration, but unfortunately it does tend to play into the stereotypes of these relationships. I would be interested in honest, intelligent comments.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Billy Crystal’s dialogue on this in ‘When Harry Met Sally’ offers a great explanation on why it’s not possible. That said. I think it IS possible for men and women to be just friends, but the likelihood of that is far less than that of same-gender friends. I guess it depends on what your meaning of ‘just friends’ is. If you mean it to be that neither party has any attraction or wishes for something more than friendship, the possibilities of a platonic relationship go even further down. In my experience and speaking with friends, men are generally always on the lookout for possible partners, sexual or otherwise. Given the opportunity, I believe a lot of male friends would readily switch to more than that. I suppose this happens because men and women often become friends because one side started the relationship with the intent of something more, made a bad turn and ended in the friend category (credit Chris Rock with that one). They may have moved beyond those initial feelings, but there’s usually some remnant of it; perhaps moreso because they know them so well. By no means is this absolute, but I think straight male/female ‘friendships’ are much rarer than people think or believe.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’m sure this will get a lot of answers from the gay community but perhaps a response from a straight person will lend some balance. Michael, your question answers itself. On the most basic level, why indeed would anyone choose to be gay (I of course mean lesbian as well)? Gays are considered sinners or worse by most religions, discriminated against by the government in regards to benefits, and face violence by the public. You think someone would choose to go through that? What is the possible upside to make it worth going through that? The fact that homosexuality does not lead to procreation doesn’t mean that it’s not genetic. By that standard, men born with low sperm counts, or women born without ovaries, chose to be that way as well. Just because homosexuality resides in the brain – the most complex organ of all – and we can’t ‘see’ its roots does not mean it’s not genetic. A more germane question would be is homosexuality an anomoly? Perhaps, but so what? It doesn’t shorten one’s lifespan {from a purely physiological standpoint) so it doesn’t need a cure.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Quite frankly I believe that marrying as a virgin is an idea of the past. It used to certainly be preferable before, but with today’s contraceptive options men and women can worry less about pregnancy and disease. From the male perspective, I can say that both I and the few partners I’ve had, have enjoyed sex as a natural and healthy activity. So yes it is fun. (A woman would be better to answer the first time question) That said, I have found that sex in a committed relationship with someone I care about to be dramatically more pleasurable. I would recommend that you experience it as a natural progression in a relationship and not just do it to ‘get it over with’ after a few dates. Remember too that the person you marry will (hopefully) be the only person you will have sex with again–so, like anything else, it is important that you are compatible in that regard too. As for the pubic hair issue, while images glamorize the shaved look, it is a high maintenance endeavor. I think most men won’t complain with a neatly trimmed style (Most guys will just be grateful they’re seeing it at all!) Good luck and above all be safe in whatever you decide.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,While I can certainly understand feeling insulted at being called ‘negro’, and ‘morena’ it is not necessarily people being racist. In some Latin American countries, it is very common for people to be nicknamed by physical characteristics–more so than here. While visiting family in Ecuador, I noticed that even dark members of families [who were not black] were called ‘negrito’ as a term of endearment. I also heard similar comments for blondes and even overweight people. I was surprised at first until I heard from many people that that’s just how they nickname others.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I haven’t noticed this to be true. In what ways have you experienced this? Carla’s theory runs a little to deep, I think. Most people are bored with their looks and change it–especially women. Hence black women straightening their hair, Asian women adding creases to their eyelids, etc. Really Carla, it seems everyone wants to look Latino! đ
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I wouldn’t say this is a culture as you describe it Angela. It is a youthful fashion that will come and go as did unlaced sneakers and oversized medallions. Youths have always flocked to all ‘counter culture’ elements whether they were race based or not [like Goth or the skateboarder ethos]. Currently, hip-hop culture is the flavor of the month though it has staying power [just as the rock invasion did in the sixties] Sure marketers will try to capitalize on this and this marketing to youths of often overpriced clothing is the real travesty. Frankly I think most adults of all ‘races’ are disappointed by the slovenly appearance of todays teens.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Unfortunately the trouble with arguing with issues of faith is that the faithful can always pull the Satan card to which no argument can refute–it just is. I would ask those like Nate who believe homosexuality is a sin to examine with a clear head what is sinful about homosexuality. Obviously other sins such as murder, theft and adultery cause fractures in society which is clearly why they are sins. However homosexuality is just as clearly a personal feeling and homosexual relationships are personal acts between consenting adults–just as heterosexual acts are. No sane gay person thinks or even advocates that ALL people should be gay or even bisexual. From discussions with friends who are gay, I would be safe in saying that most gay people believe that most people are heterosexual but that 10 – 15% of the population are gay–otherwise they don’t see themselves as special and certainly not degenerate or under the spell of Satan. Most want to live their lives as straights do except with partners they are attracted to. I hope you come to an honest resolution of your feelings Nate; if you delude yourself you will only bring pain to yourself and possibly to others
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,In addition to Hayden’s response, which is quite true, let me add the following: New York has a huge population. Moreover, this population is concentrated in a relatively small area. While the overall area of New York City is large, remember, space is taken up by two international airports, very large parks in each borough and large port and indusrial facilities. In other major cities, these are usually located just outside the city limits. People are packed pretty tightly in apartment buildings and in the subways and sidewalks – this ain’t an auto town – so sometime tempers get flared. Also, there is a very large immigrant population in the city. Many people come from places where what is considered rude to Americans is not looked at twice – for instance, pushing your way onto the subway. Still, as a native New Yorker, I can tell you that one-on-one, we are some of the nicest people you’d ever meet: willing to help you in a bind, generous to the needy and a surprisingly peaceful lot when you realize how often we are forced to brush up against strangers every day.
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Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,This is a question that shouldn’t need to be asked in this day and age. I think there are several forces at work that make homophobia – at one level or another – still prevalent:
1) Religion. Most of the world’s religions have some sort of prohibition against homosexuality. It’s been theorized that during the time when those religions arose it was culturally important for there to be a rising population. Leaders were afraid that homosexuality would lead to a population decrease and make their ‘people’ extinct. As with any religious edict – no matter how archaic – it is very difficult to change minds.
2)Minority population. Even the best guesses place homosexuals at less than 10 percent of the world’s population. As with most minorities, they become easy targets for people with a beef.
3) Male aggression. Most homophobia is expresed by men. Ironically, you would think straight men would encourage homosexuality and thus lessen competition for women. However, men are very group-affiliated, meaning they like belonging to a group (this is why the armed forces work the way they do). If someone doesn’t belong to their group, especially in an area as primal as sexuality, they consider it a contrarion, ie. an enemy.
4) Ignorance. The image most people have of gay men (and really I don’t think there is as much bias against lesbians) is that of the drag queen or campy ‘queer.’ While these groups get the majority of attention, they are a small sub-group of the gay population. Most gay people live their lives as mundane as everyone else’s, only the gender of their partners is different. Again, ironically, if gays weren’t so demonized, I believe the more flamboyent elements would decrease.
5) Denial. Many of the most rabid homophobes are/were gay themselves. They were simply in denial or self-hating for the reasons given above. Rather than confronting their own denial they lash out at gays.
6) Sexuality. Any type of deviance from accepted sexual norms is condemned by many people. Case in point: Sodomy – consensual oral or anal sex between straights or gays – is still a crime in many states.
In time I believe this will become a fringe element. People are beginning to realize that gays live all around us – in our community, work and family.User Detail :
Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
