Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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I can only answer for myself, but I do find that the person I have become is at least in part influenced by my desire to forge my own identity, apart from the values and judgements of a Eurocentric culture. For example, after years of using chemical processes of one kind or another on my hair, I decided to stop altogether, because I couldn’t rule out the possibility that I was doing it in response to internalized devaluation of nappy hair. Now I have long dreadlocks, and i’ve never felt more beautiful, more myself. There are other aspects of my personality and politics that others might consider ‘black nationalist’ or something, but really, these aspects have been what I consider to be natural manifestations of the reality of my life. ___________________
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Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,But what does that have to do with being white?
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Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’ve scanned my memory bank and have failed to bring up an instance when I’ve heard another black person comment on the dressing habits of white people in this respect. I didn’t know that dressing sloppily was a majority privilege, and consequently, I’ve often taken advantage of it myself! ____________________
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Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I love cats! In fact, I love all animals. If there’s one demographic group that, in my experience, tends to dislike cats disproportionately, it’s men.
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Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Maybe this is a regional thing, because I don’t know what you’re talking about.
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Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Although I suspect that your statement is more an attempt to lash out at the white members of Y Forum, to humiliate in order to assuage your own angst, I understand that sometimes the questions we as African Americans are asked may seem silly. I have often endured, as I’m sure a lot of people who are part of marginalized groups have, questions that make me think, ‘Now, if they just used some common sense, they could answer that question themselves.’ Some questions make me feel as if white people don’t even realize I’m the same species as they. However, it can’t help eliminate the ignorance that beget these questions to verbally smack people in the face when they ask them. Personally, if I were white, I would be offended by the ‘wet dog’ questions.
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Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Kayeli, i’m sorry that you feel that this is happening to you. Without more information about what specificly happens in these situations, it’s hard to say. Sometimes, what is simply a taciturn, reserved demeanor on the part of black people is read as surly, standoffish behaviour on the part of white people. That’s not to discredit your experience; you seem like an upbeat, sweet-natured person, but not everyone is the same way. Sometimes, since black people are more reserved in service situations, they might wonder why you’re insisting that they interact with you with the same ‘intensity’ with which you greet them. Of course, maybe these ladies have issues with dealing with people in general, or white people specificly. Maybe it’s hard for them, but they know they can’t avoid it, and it makes them angry. This is the same way some white people must feel. White people don’t have the corner on the market of prejudice. It’s a very human trait. Try to do what we do, or at least what I do, when in situations like this: 1) be sure that it really is the situation, and not your own insecurity influencing your perception of the situation 2) If the issue is poor restauraunt service–and it’s obvious–do not leave a tip, and leave a note explaining why. If it’s a retail situation, and the behavior is really bad, tactfully complain to the manager, preferably in writing after leaving the establishment as to avoid humiliating the clerk, which won’t help her change. Good luck! Jerks come in all colors. Don’t let them live in your head rent-free. __________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I always thought the word used among black people for someone who thought they were better than others was ‘sidditty.’ Has anyone else ever heard this term? I’d have to agree with those who described ‘uppity’ as a word to refer to a black person who ‘didn’t know his/her place’ in the Jim Crow South and other environs, past and present.
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Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,It depends on the way it’s said. If it’s said in a measured, neutral tone, it could just be an aknowledgment of your presence, that you know each other and that it’s not necessary to go through the usual formalities if you don’t want to. Not that such a greeting isn’t welcome, but just that you can ‘chill,’ everything’s copacetic, have a nice night, etc. If it’s said in a boisterous, upbeat way, it might be another way of saying: ‘My man! What’s up? How are you?’ Basically, pleasantries in shorthand. I would think that just saying ‘hey’ in response would be fine – not that you need to be told how to speak.
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’ve heard that a man might come quickly the first time, but if there is a second time, he’ll last longer. Maybe you should masturbate before a date if you know you’ll be making love later. Also, when you feel you’re going to ejaculate, pull out and have your partner squeeze your penis just below the head, or do it yourself. You may still have an orgasm, but you’ll probably not ejaculate, and you’ll probably stay hard. _________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think it’s problematic to ask yourself whether it’s wrong or right to like someone from a different ethnic background. To a certain extent, I think we like what we like. That doesn’t mean there aren’t identifiable reasons, or at least speculation about the reasons. I mean, were you raised in an environment that was mostly white? Were you socialized as a white person, or was there definite emphasis on your Hispanic heritage? I know that in some cases, there’s more leeway in this for Hispanics than for most other non-white people, as some Hispanics are very fair-skinned, with European features, and can assimilate easily. Also, because you live in the United States, you, like everyone else, have likely been socialized by our collective culture to hold white women up as paragons of sexual attractiveness. Therefore, it’s not strange that you notice them. I just hope that, when you examine yourself honestly, your preference isn’t based on a lack of appreciation for your roots.
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I agree with the other posters who said that it depends on experience/age, sensitivity, and individual construction. For me, i’d say it was uncomfortable, but not as horrificly painful as some of the women here have described! Yikes! I found it helpful to be on top. That way, I could control the rate, depth, and speed of penetration. _________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,If he is a practitioner of cunillingus, I would think that a woman who is shaved, or at least trimed, is both easier and more palatable to perform on. It’s distracting and icky to feel a piece of hair rolling around in your mouth, no matter where it’s from. ___________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,‘Jumping the Broom’ signifies (I say signifies because the custom is still practiced in the wedding ceremonies of some African-American couples) literally jumping from your old life alone into a life joined with your partner.
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Just wanted to chime in as one of those black folks who can. I happen to be one of the sisters to whom other posters have referred with butt-length dreadlocks. _____________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
