[Jennifer R.]

When I think of Saudi Arabia and Oman, I think of oil and wealth. When I think of Turkey, I think of strong coffee, and, perhaps because of the Olympics, the origin of great weightlifters. When I think of Jordan, I think of the Royal Family, and the tragic passing of King Hussein. When I think of Iraq, I think of Sadam Hussein, Bin Laden, and yes, somewhat of terrorism. When I think of Morocco, I think of the elaborate traditional wedding ceremonies, and beaches. When I think of Egypt, I think of its ancient empires, and yes, of the desert and camels, but I'm smart enough to know that not everyone there is a bedouin. When I think of Algeria, I do admit I think of the oppression of women and of the Taliban. I'm also smart enough to know that not everyone who could be called 'Arab' is a Muslim. As far as looks go, I think some Arab people I've seen are among the best looking. They have the lovely diversity of skin tone of my own people, coupled with glossy black hair and dark eyes. Of course, I realize there are people who could be considered 'Arab' who have light eyes and hair.

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

I know that in the past, before I actually asked about it, and before I had experience with sex of any kind, I assumed that men preferred oral or vaginal to manual sex. Therefore, I never really offered. When I did finally have a man ask me for a handjob, I didn't do it very well, because I was afraid of squeezing too hard. In my ignorance, I was confusing the pain of firm contact with testicles with firm contact on the penis itself. I don't know if all men are like this, but I didn't know that I could squeeze hard. Maybe your lady friend just doesn't know how, or where, or what. You should tell her exactly what you need.

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

I think all the 'slurs' have been covered, but I can think of some stereotypes. Please keep in mind that these are things that I've heard, not that I believe:
1) Poor hygiene - they don't use washcloths to wash their bodies, don't wipe themselves well after going to the bathroom (as told to me by an elderly woman who used to be a domestic servant and saw the underwear), don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom and kiss their pets on the mouth.
2) Sexually deviant
3) Greedy and dishonest
4) Weak and cowardly unless in groups
I'm sure there are others, but these are all I can think of right now. I'd like to see your art, too! Good luck!

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

Cleft, that was a sad but brilliant answer.

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

Renee, I wanted to offer an answer to refute that given by the first respondent. I do not agree that you have to have done something wrong to warrant the reactions you have experienced. Sure, maybe the women you've been in contact with have a different communication style than you do and are suspicious of any other way of communicating, but that doesn't mean you are the one who has the problem. Try to take it with a grain of salt and attribute it to their upbringing, not their culture. I'm sure you've had to do that once or twice in your life, having been a black person in a mostly white community. There are plenty of black people who are polite, friendly, welcoming and warm. You just have to be selective about the places you go to make friends. It's not an issue of your rejecting black people, because those women certainly don't represent us. They can still be your color and not be your kind.

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

For the record, while I DO notice that sometimes some white people seem to have a different smell than other ethnicities, I don't find it an unpleasant smell, and I wish there were a less offensive way people could find to describe the smell than that of a wet dog. I think the hair smell, wet or dry, comes from the extra sebum that hair type produces. It's natural, normal and fine. I wish people would get over it.

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

Theresa, I almost went into convulsions laughing about this! I have experienced this myself. I think it's just a clumsy attempt, most of the time, at saying that they're down with what they think you are, that they're 'not just another white guy.' They think they have to act like that to attract you. Some may actually talk like that because that's just the way they talk. Hip-Hop culture has grown very long arms. Go ahead and subtly correct them if you think the 'accent' is a put-on, but go easy.

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

I don't have the answer, but for the record, I'm sick of this kind of comedy, too. If you have to insult someone else to make yourself feel better, which is what I suspect is at the root of this type of comedy, you are really letting them control you.

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

Simply this: There is a lot to be offended about. I think that sometimes our focus is on things that we should get over on our own, but we are strong because we have survived, and continue to overcome the roadblocks placed in our way. If you don't see that, I suspect it's because you don't want to. Luckily, as time goes on, that becomes more and more irrelevant. If you think more should be done in the month of November to celebrate the diverse cultures and history of Native people, why not get involved in organizing such celebrations yourself? I know I for one would participate. If not, why complain? I'm sure you have more than one channel on your television. If you don't find the programming interesting, change the channel. But don't expect black people to apologize for celebrating what *we* value about ourselves, and don't expect us to stop agitating for change where we see that it needs doing. We don't exist to make you comfortable. I wonder whether or not you are really Native, or whether you are one of those white people who claim or try to claim that heritage because five generations back, grandmaw was 1/3 Chocktaw or something. Your perspective certainly *sounds* like it. _______________________________________________

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

I'm sure there are instances of this type of interaction happening between people of all ethnicities, but if these people are doing it, it could be that they *know* you can understand, and *do* mean to offend, but want to phrase it in a way that you'll feel the sting without having much evidence that they can't deny about their motivations. Keep an eye on this. If it gets more explicit, you may have grounds for reporting the offenders to a superior for harrassment. ________________________________________________

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

Dark skinned black women can maintain their self-esteem by taking a flip through Essence magazine and other black publications. In those pages, you will see many heartbreakingly beautiful women who are nearly as dark as onyx. Further, there are a lot of people out there, of all colors, who can see this beauty. Those who can't, even though their number may seem large, are not people whose opinions you need to respect. Build a fortress within yourself where *you* define yourself, your beauty, who you are. Accentuate your beauty. Celebrate it with reverence and dignity. Value yourself. Even when it seems that you're alone. Self respect, kindness, and intelligence are more successful in attracting the right kind of people than the most alabaster skin in the world. ______________________________________________-

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

I recently watched the Ken Burns documentary, 'Jazz'. In it, Duke Ellington was said to have been taught by his mother to keep moving, no matter what obstacles were to block his progress, to hold his head high and love and respect *himself*, no matter what, and 'act as if you are better than they, because you are.' I really related to this from my own upbringing. If you know, value, and respect yourself, oppression can change in your mind from the pain of a punch in the gut to the temporary annoyance of a mosquito bite. Beyond that, in cases of workplace or other institutional oppression, you rely on the law to protect you, and realize that the issue is the other person, not you. Further, pain and anger can be incredible fuel for ambition. Channeling energy into other avenues is a common tactic for me. The best revenge is success. _______________________________________________

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

You probably smell different to them, too. Some of them might think your smell is unpleasant. It's just not what you're used to. Different body chemistry, maybe? Diet? Who knows? ______________________________________________

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

First, there are some white people who use the word 'nigga' with blacks and get away with it. They are usually close friends of the black people they use it with, or part of the subculture where that word is used casually, and therefore, there isn't much complaint. Second, 'nigga' is different from 'nigger.' 'Nigger' is an ethnic slur used to degrade and dehumanize, especially from the mouth of a white person. I don't care if it's 'just the way they were raised' and they believe they don't mean anything by it. Somewhere along the way, they likely learned that it was a contemptuous word used to refer to black people. Its history in this usage goes back hundreds of years. To most black people, it is a buzzword of oppression, an indication that no matter who a black person may be on an individual basis, they are reduced to the connotations of that word in the eyes of the person wielding it. This conception of black people was and is brought home to most of us in some way practically every day. To rail against the use of this word by a white person is to rail against that white person's right to perpetrate that kind of mental terrorism.

Finally, some black people have appropriated the word 'nigger' and slightly modified it to 'nigga,' perhaps in an effort to minimize its hold, or to subliminally acknowledge solidarity in history and culture. Many black people dislike either variation equally, don't use them and don't approve of those who do. I am one of those black.

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

I'm a little unsure about what you're asking, but I assume you want to know why black on black crime seems to be considered less serious that white on black crime. I think it's because of the circumstances under which much of this violence occurs. Black on black crime is usually due to gang or drug activity, economic rather than racist in motivation. It's a hazzard of the lifestyle, and I guess no one is too surprised when the chickens come home to roost. That doesn't mean people aren't hurt or digusted or angered by it, but in some communities it is seen as such a perenial problem that it just isn't shocking anymore. When white people attack blacks, it's usually because of some kind of racist ideology. This kind of attack will always be shocking, because many black people see our story in this country as a litany of violence against us by white people, physical or otherwise. It's far less common than black on black crime, but every time it happens, I think some of us wonder, 'Oh sh--, are they starting again?' There is no way to predict when this kind of violence will strike, or how far it will go, or why it has started. Therefore, maybe we feel that there's no way to protect ourselves. You can get to know where high drug trafficking and gang activity areas are, but you can't pick the homicidal racists out of 70+ per cent of the population. This is very unsettling. This is my take, anyway. ________________________________________________

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Author]

Posts