What exactly are you 'losing'? Sex shouldn't be a casual thing done with any passing member of the opposite sex, but it isn't necessarily a wait til marriage thing. More power to those who choose to, if it makes you happy. Why so much emphasis on being a virgin? Catering to men who want a virgin bride?
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Name : Niki20061, Gender : F, City : Theresa, State : WI Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I think the real question is why do you cherish it so much? There's nothing special in the act of sex, first time or any time. It's fun and you can make babies but that's it. No mystic experience, no special magical power comes from it. Now, being in love, that's another story. The right person is what's valuable, not your untorn hymen.
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Name : Vel, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 38, City : Harrisburg, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : research specialist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Congratulations on not giving into the myth and hype about virginity and sex not being a big deal. Yes, it is pleasureable, but it's not worth what you can lose from it. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 23 years old. I was going to wait until marriage but realized that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Then I realized the true meaning of waiting. I waited until I was in a position where I could deal with the emotional and physical consequences of sexual activity. I had seen my cousin get pregnant from her first time (no joke!) and drop out of college (a very prestigious one) to become a mother at 19. Most of my close girlfriends were raped or had a guy leave shortly after becoming intimate during college and then belived that sex was a means of receiving affection and love. It was sad to watch such strong, caring, vibrant people become reclusive and depressed. I decided to wait until after I had my college diploma in my hand, a real job, and a healthy environment surrounded by good people. I felt only then could I make the proper judgements about sex and who I engaged in it with. I had plenty of offers along the way from many charming men, but I don't regret waiting at all. I have a much more healthy and positive attitude about sex then my friends who lost it in their teenage or college years. And I am happy to report that I have an amazing sex life with a wonderful man. But don't hold onto the belief that the man you are to marry is the man you lose your viriginity to. We all make mistakes and people turn out to be not who we thought they were. Marry for the right reasons, love, respect and happiness. You have to love yourself first to truly love someone else.
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Name : Jen30975, Gender : F, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 25, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, The numbers of teens reporting they have already had sex has actually been getting lower, not higher.
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Name : Patrick, City : Birmingham, State : AL Country : United States, Teens just want to fit in. Being different from others is not considered cool. They think everyone is having sex when if fact, many teens are not and saying they are just to sound more mature. They consider being a virgin old fashioned and lame, not something to cherish. It is nice to see though, that some teens do consider their virginity important. I always said that I wouldn't let just anyone into my home, why should I allow just anyone into my body? And when I was told that I didn't know what I was missing, I'd say 'yeah, like worrying about birth control, pregnancy and STD's!' I lost my virginity at 19 to the boyfriend I had been dating for 6 months at the time, and sometimes wish I'd waited longer.
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Name : Reyna30159, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Christian, Age : 29, City : Reno, State : NV Country : United States, Occupation : administrator, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Being 14 and a virgin, I can tell you why teens don't cherish virginity anymore: they don't see sex as something sacred or mysterious anymore, its just something that they want to experience regardless of their age or who their partner is. Many of these teens are either not religious, or if they are religious, they don't feel that saving their virginity until marriage is important. I for one don't plan on being a virgin until I'm married. I find it impractical and an unnecessary restriction of my freedom, but I won't just have sex with anybody. I plan on having sex, but not sleeping around. Hope that answered your question.
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Name : Jessica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 14, City : Lubbock, State : TX Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, A very complex subject young lady. Some thoughts from an old guy who, believe it or not, went through the same thing you are going through now, only many years ago. With age comes experience and wisdom. A few thoughts: Teens today do not cherish virginity because our popular culture bombards you with the message that sex is everything. I believe this is an unconcious reaction to our puritanical background which always told us that sex was dirty. The pendulum swings back and forth and right now it is swinging to the permissive side from the former prudish side. People are finding that the prudes were not necessarily correct in their strictures. So our current culture puts too much emphasis on sex at much to early an age. So, by the time a girl reaches your age, it is cool for her to be able to say she is not a virgin (whether she actually is or not.) Having sex is as normal as sleeping or eating...at the appropriate time. It is a rite of passage that all of us experience at some moment. While you say now that you will remain a virgin until you marry, I hate to burst your bubble but this will probably not happen. At the right time, with the right circumstances, with the right person, your normal human urges will lead you to want to give yourself to your partner. The secret to making this the wonderful experience it should be is to prepare yourself for the moment before it arrives by knowing what to do...and what not to do. Discuss what is going to happen with an adult you trust. First and foremost avoid an unplanned pregnancy! Secondly protect yourself from STDs. Finally never let yourself be pressured into doing anything you do not want to do. When the time is right you'll know it...whenever it comes.
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Name : Jerry, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 58, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Retired Business Exec, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, lunchbox, teens dont care anymore because this isn't the b.cs. we now have protection and it is not a life altering choice to have sex with one person or another if there r condoms. Teens now cherish losing their virginity because it is one step closer to become an adult. Lunchbox, im a teenager and i no that teenagers get drunk and smoke pot not because its bad because they can. also, teens have been waiting a really long time for this. They have all these hormones that they don't no what to do with, lunchbox.
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Name : lunchbox, City : boca raton, State : FL Country : United States, People do care about it, very much. I am one of them; I am 22 years old, and still a virgin, and I plan to remain one until I fall in love. It isn't exactly for religious reasons, but it is still a strong conviction of mine, and one I've managed to uphold past my teens, despite a good amount of teasing and ridicule. Personally, I blame the availability of contraception for most teens' callous attitude towards sex. My mom (and several adult friends) tell me that in the 1940s-50s, sex was more taboo simply because you were much more likely to contract a disease, get pregnant, or cause a pregnancy. It wasn't so much that sex was dirty or a sin; it's that it had repercussions and consequences that could mess up your whole future. Nowadays, that warning has been sidelined by the massive availability of birth control, leading teens to think that sex has next to no consequences. Don't be so discouraged. I knew plenty of teens in high school who had chosen to remain virgins until marriage, but they weren't vocal about their decision because they were afraid of being teased. All because they don't speak up about it doesn't mean they haven't silently made the same choice.
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Name : Rina, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Royal Palm Beach, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, I was so impressed to hear that someone cares enough about their body and self worth at such a young age, to wait for marriage to have sex. I think that you are extremely smart and brave to take this stand and stay true to yourself. You have made a strong decision and you will be stronger for it. I know MANY people that say that if they had known how deeply and strongly they would feel and love their life partner or spouse they would have waited for marriage. Sex is such a special thing to share between two people and it involves much more than the act of intercourse, it involves the heart, mind and soul. My hat is off to you.
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Name : Kelly, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 34, City : Denton, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Many of them do. It seems that you are more curious about why not all of them do. Well, for starters, girls don't get married when they are 14 to 16 like they did in colonial America. Now, because of increased educational demands most Americans don't get married until their mid to late 20's. Also, around the 1950's farms started adding growth hormones to animal feed, speeding the sexual growth of the animals. Since the early 1950's the average age of puberty has dropped from 16 to 12. So while girls in colonial America sometimes married 2 years before they were biologically ready for sex, today's teenagers are expected to wait a good 10 years or more after starting menstration. Clearly these are not equivolent in levels of difficulty.
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Name : Liz22548, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Homemaker, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, I think you've received some pretty good advice so far on this message board. I do think it's sad that sex is so casual and so easily induced by peer-pressure. In my case, seventeen, I just wanted to 'lose it' - and get it over with, so I could enjoy it more later. I now regret that. I made better decisions after my first time, but it would be nice to be able to look back on my first with a little fondness - and I don't. I tell my own teenager to make sure she knows and loves the person, otherwise she will end up resenting it. I'm pretty open with her. I don't insist that waiting until marriage is the only way but that she should be mature enough to handle all consequences, emotional and physical, she should respect herself enough to wait until the right person comes along and to please, please take all precautions, including being on the pill for a couple of months, first. She's sixteen and does tell me that many if not most of her friends have already lost their virginity and some, unfortunately, sleep around a lot. We both find that sad and not a little desperate seeming. As for why teens don't 'cherish' virginity any more, I think it depends on the person. But certainly media - movies, TV, videos, print - have made it seem like not such a big deal with their frank and often crass portrayal of sex. A lot of the mystery and fear of the unknown that was the case in, (I guess) the fifties, is gone. Also, societies opinions of women who are sexually liberated have changed drastically and are much more accepting than they ever would have been forty years ago. I think kids that are close to and open with their parents and have good self-esteem make the best choices. It's an individual thing.
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Name : K26921, Gender : F, Age : 38, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, true. they act like it's a sport or something. I'm saving myself til' i get married.
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Name : Mystery, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 16, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, i wouldnt say teens today lose their virginity anymore than teens of other generations. there are some subcultures, such as straight edge, that are made up of teens who opt out of having casual sex. it has nothing to do with religion or even morals, but rather respect for yourself and others.
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Name : zak, Gender : M, Age : 18, City : dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, I´m glad to hear that there are others who feel this way. I lost my virginity to the man I love after a lot of waiting and I´ve been with the same guy for 3 years now. We couldn´t be happier together and I don´t regret waiting for a second. I remember very well how it felt to be 'the only' teenager who hadn´t had sex and the peer pressure is tremendous. Don´t give in, have sex when YOU feel it´s right, not when some other people think it is. Most girls who end up loosing their virginities at a too young age don´t seem very happy about it afterwards. I really believe that this should be discussed more in public and in the media, so that those girls who choose to wait could feel that they´re not alone or in any way 'loosers'. I strictly believe that the highest authority in your life is you, and you can be sure that the pressure will let go a little bit after you become officially 'adult': adults do what they want to!
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Name : Mariah24417, Gender : F, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 21, City : NA, State : NA Country : Finland, 
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