Why don’t teens cherish virginity?

Viewing 15 posts - 76 through 90 (of 111 total)
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  • #14075

    Tami G.
    Participant
    At 18 I decided I was ready to lose my virginity. At that time I figured it was better to have control over my first experience than to be raped or hurt by a first love situation. I discussed the matter with several male friends and a few denied my request. The young men valued my virginity more than I did. The adults in my life used scare tactics to deter me. Reasons given ranged from having a baby to vile photographs of venereal diseases to being called a slut. No one at that time explained the value of my womb. No one told me that the babies that would one day pass through my womb deserved it to be a place of honor. No one told me that keeping it to myself and sharing it only with my husband would bring me more self respect and strength. Not until I became a mother did I realize the stigma placed on the reproductive system. If I had been told that the vigina and penis were wonderful when used in the proper context, I may have valued it more. I would have waited, as a child does on Christmas to play with a new toy.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Tami G., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #39526

    ellen24277
    Participant
    I know exactly what you mean. one of my friends even lied and said she slept with 11 different guys, and it turns out she is still a virgin. i believe it is probably just a stage. i lost my virginity when i was 14, it was with the guy i am still dating today, and plan on marrying. i am 18 now. even though we are not sexually active anymore, and plan on waiting, i can still say i have never been proud of it. but, to answer your question, if i still were a virgin, yes i would cherish it, but you are right, there are very few people that do anymore.

    User Detail :  

    Name : ellen24277, City : omaha, State : NE Country : United States, 
    #17752

    Ryan D
    Member
    I don't think that virginity is as big of a deal, these days, simply because the means to have safe-sex are more available and accessable. Of course, this isn't neccessarily a 'bad thing.' I don't think that saving yourself for marriage is the smartest thing in the world to do, but hey, to each their own. It's not about WHEN someone loses their virginity, it's about WHY. If you're doing it because you feel pressured to, then it's a BAD thing. However, if you feel convinced that this person is right for you and the feeling to 'take it to the next level' is consentual, then I see no problem in it. If you don't end up staying together, then oh well. Virginity is mostly symbolic, anyways.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ryan D, Gender : Male, Race : American Indian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 20, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #28104

    Rocky21057
    Participant
    I think that often when someone is neurotic about sex, they say they are moral. Perhaps you are merely immature and don't know how to have pleasure without guilt.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Rocky21057, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States, 
    #16165

    Rocky
    Participant
    I don't think teens ever cherished their virginity in history. Think of the normal curve: in every age, some girls were more precocious and some were not yet as developed. I know women who are still virgins into their 40s and some who had sex at 12. But, the majority are right in the middle.

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    Name : Rocky, Gender : M, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States, 
    #23621

    J24270
    Participant
    I believe your personal character and background have much to do with this. Parents in general seem to be less willing to discuss issues such as this with their children. Fortunately, my parents are very willing to communicate, and I am willing to receive. Unless you have a mutual respect for the topic, nothing will sink in. Many teens no longer listen to their parents, or the parents shy away from such a sensitive subject.

    User Detail :  

    Name : J24270, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 14, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, 
    #24183

    Rita
    Member
    I don't 'cherish' it because I don't view sex as the most important aspect of marriage. Sex plays only a very small part in making a marriage successful, so why place such undue emphasis on it? I've got a lot more to look forward to in married life.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Rita, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Dayton, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #33740

    Nick-Steedley
    Participant
    hello Mr. Phil can jacob skateboard tomorrow after school???

    User Detail :  

    Name : Nick-Steedley, Gender : M, Age : 14, City : Orange Park FL, State : FL Country : United States, 
    #44140

    S
    Participant
    In addition to the fact that the idea of 'saving yourself until marriage' is a religious idea and many areas of our country are on the fast track to breaking away from those more traditional ideas, feminism is also in full swing. Why is there such an emphasis on females to 'save' their virginity? There's a strong backlash against the image of the virgin girl in her innocent and pure white wedding dress. Personally, I find it quite empowering that I can be in charge of my own sexuality and can make my own decisions about what kinds of pleasures I want to indulge in (be it a shopping spree or having sex with my boyfriend). I am not 'unclean' because I will not be a virgin when I get married. I'm not hurting anyone - including myself. People are just beginning to realize that sex can be safe and an enjoyable activity. No girl should feel used and dirty just because she has sex before marriage... does anyone ever view a guy in the same light?

    User Detail :  

    Name : S, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Other, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 19, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #23671

    Fred22304
    Participant
    Guys trade love for sex, girls trade sex for love. Sex is fun, duh. All the Christian propaganda spouted by weak-willed conformists is amazing. As long as both parties are consenting, why not?

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    Name : Fred22304, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, 
    #30194

    Sarah
    Participant
    I never saw a point in waiting...I wanted to be experienced before I got married, and didn't want my wedding night to be filled with unfamiliar territory. I lost my virginity when I was 14, and I'm extremely fond of that memory. Of course, I did end up marrying the guy I lost my virginity to, but even when we went through rough times while I was in highschool, I never once regretted it. And the night of our wedding, when we were both too tired too have sex, it was ok, it wasn't that big of a deal. If we had waited, it would have caused all kinds of problems and regrets, because it would have either been horrible and forced, or it would have waited for another day.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Sarah, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : na, Disability : na, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 21, City : Swannanoa, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Crew at a pizza place, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #14158

    Laura G
    Participant
    First off, I want to say good for you. It's not an easy choice to make, and it's not an easy choice to maintain. That said, if at some point you decide to change your mind, that's ok. And if you don't, that's ok too. The important thing is that *you* are ready, and if you're not ready until your wedding night, then you definitely should wait. I thought I would wait til marriage, but eventually I changed my mind. My boyfriend and I discussed every facet of it before we made that decision, and I don't regret it. I did what was right for me, and you should do what's right for you.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Laura G, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 22, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #15886

    K.B.
    Member
    Hysterical, prurient media salivatings aside, I seriously doubt that 'teens today' are any more or less chaste than they have been for thousands of years now. We are just fortunate enough to live in a culture that takes a deep, abiding interest in everybody's sex life. I didn't particularly 'cherish' my virginity. I think the whole concept is primarily religious, which I am not, and deeply creepy. The idea of a girl's virginity being 'sacred' dates back a *long* time, long before Christianity, and is tied up with the concept of the girl as eventual producer of heirs and property of her husband. You'll notice that nobody freaks out nearly as much when boys have sex, but us girls are supposed to be pristine vessels? Things really haven't changed. I greatly respect anyone who chooses to reman celibate, by the way; I just think that the idea of virginity as talisman is arbitrary and dogmatic.

    User Detail :  

    Name : K.B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 26, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Housewife, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #30379

    mark
    Participant
    Anymore? You are 17. Do you mean like they cherished it when they were 13 or 14? Or like teens did in the earlier generations when you weren't alive? It is true that our society is becoming more and more desensitized to sex, but there have always been teens (guys and girls) who didn't want to wait for marraige. There is no simple answer to your question. It all depends on the people, the beliefs they hold, and the situation they are in. If you want to save yourself for marraige, then more power to you, but not everyone shares your morals values. If you want to know why someone doesn't cherish their virginity, ask them because no one else can answer that but them.

    User Detail :  

    Name : mark, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 20, City : Billings, State : MT Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #42129

    DC
    Participant
    To some extent, today's teens are influenced by the times. Sexual messages are literally everywhere, even in shampoo commercials (thank you, Herbal Essences). Too many adults preach 'safe sex,' as if any such thing existed, instead of encouraging pre-marital abstinence, the only guaranteed method of avoiding unwanted pregnancy and STDs. If they mention it at all, it's dismissed as unrealistic, as if people can't live without sex.

    User Detail :  

    Name : DC, Gender : M, Age : 29, City : Knoxville, State : TN Country : United States, 
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