Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences
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I’m a virgin and will be until marriage. It’s hard for girls to learn to cherish their virginity because they have been taught by society (just watch commercials) that a girl’s purpose is to provide men with sexual pleasure. If even adult women believe this, how would girls learn otherwise? Plus I think the number of parents who have time to give their children the attention they need combined with the attitude that children are a ‘burden’ leaves girls without the attention from their fathers they need. Studies have shown that a girl’s relationship with her father will be mirrored in her relationships with men later in life. I know that the love and acceptance I desperately crave from my dad I turned into a desperate craving for attention and acceptance from my male friends. If a girl craves attention and grows up being taught her ‘purpose’ in life is to be sexy for male enjoyment, she’ll seek sexual attention from men. Who is teaching girls they can expect more from men and relationships than sex? It seems sex is being prized as the best part of relationships. It makes me very angry and frustrated that little girls and boys are being taught that they should expect so little from relationships.
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Name : Leanne, Gender : F, Race : I'm a mutt!!, Religion : Christian, Age : 22, City : pleasant hill, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : artist, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I know exactly what you mean. one of my friends even lied and said she slept with 11 different guys, and it turns out she is still a virgin. i believe it is probably just a stage. i lost my virginity when i was 14, it was with the guy i am still dating today, and plan on marrying. i am 18 now. even though we are not sexually active anymore, and plan on waiting, i can still say i have never been proud of it. but, to answer your question, if i still were a virgin, yes i would cherish it, but you are right, there are very few people that do anymore.
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Name : ellen24277, City : omaha, State : NE, Country : United States,I don’t think that virginity is as big of a deal, these days, simply because the means to have safe-sex are more available and accessable. Of course, this isn’t neccessarily a ‘bad thing.’ I don’t think that saving yourself for marriage is the smartest thing in the world to do, but hey, to each their own. It’s not about WHEN someone loses their virginity, it’s about WHY. If you’re doing it because you feel pressured to, then it’s a BAD thing. However, if you feel convinced that this person is right for you and the feeling to ‘take it to the next level’ is consentual, then I see no problem in it. If you don’t end up staying together, then oh well. Virginity is mostly symbolic, anyways.
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Name : Ryan D, Gender : Male, Race : American Indian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 20, City : Dallas, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I think that often when someone is neurotic about sex, they say they are moral. Perhaps you are merely immature and don’t know how to have pleasure without guilt.
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Name : Rocky21057, City : Miami, State : FL, Country : United States,I don’t think teens ever cherished their virginity in history. Think of the normal curve: in every age, some girls were more precocious and some were not yet as developed. I know women who are still virgins into their 40s and some who had sex at 12. But, the majority are right in the middle.
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Name : Rocky, Gender : M, City : Miami, State : FL, Country : United States,I believe your personal character and background have much to do with this. Parents in general seem to be less willing to discuss issues such as this with their children. Fortunately, my parents are very willing to communicate, and I am willing to receive. Unless you have a mutual respect for the topic, nothing will sink in. Many teens no longer listen to their parents, or the parents shy away from such a sensitive subject.
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Name : J24270, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 14, City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States,I don’t ‘cherish’ it because I don’t view sex as the most important aspect of marriage. Sex plays only a very small part in making a marriage successful, so why place such undue emphasis on it? I’ve got a lot more to look forward to in married life.
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Name : Rita, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Dayton, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,hello Mr. Phil can jacob skateboard tomorrow after school???
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Name : Nick-Steedley, Gender : M, Age : 14, City : Orange Park FL, State : FL, Country : United States,In addition to the fact that the idea of ‘saving yourself until marriage’ is a religious idea and many areas of our country are on the fast track to breaking away from those more traditional ideas, feminism is also in full swing. Why is there such an emphasis on females to ‘save’ their virginity? There’s a strong backlash against the image of the virgin girl in her innocent and pure white wedding dress. Personally, I find it quite empowering that I can be in charge of my own sexuality and can make my own decisions about what kinds of pleasures I want to indulge in (be it a shopping spree or having sex with my boyfriend). I am not ‘unclean’ because I will not be a virgin when I get married. I’m not hurting anyone – including myself. People are just beginning to realize that sex can be safe and an enjoyable activity. No girl should feel used and dirty just because she has sex before marriage… does anyone ever view a guy in the same light?
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Name : S, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Other, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 19, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Guys trade love for sex, girls trade sex for love. Sex is fun, duh. All the Christian propaganda spouted by weak-willed conformists is amazing. As long as both parties are consenting, why not?
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Name : Fred22304, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States,I never saw a point in waiting…I wanted to be experienced before I got married, and didn’t want my wedding night to be filled with unfamiliar territory. I lost my virginity when I was 14, and I’m extremely fond of that memory. Of course, I did end up marrying the guy I lost my virginity to, but even when we went through rough times while I was in highschool, I never once regretted it. And the night of our wedding, when we were both too tired too have sex, it was ok, it wasn’t that big of a deal. If we had waited, it would have caused all kinds of problems and regrets, because it would have either been horrible and forced, or it would have waited for another day.
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Name : Sarah, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : na, Disability : na, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 21, City : Swannanoa, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : Crew at a pizza place, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,First off, I want to say good for you. It’s not an easy choice to make, and it’s not an easy choice to maintain. That said, if at some point you decide to change your mind, that’s ok. And if you don’t, that’s ok too. The important thing is that *you* are ready, and if you’re not ready until your wedding night, then you definitely should wait. I thought I would wait til marriage, but eventually I changed my mind. My boyfriend and I discussed every facet of it before we made that decision, and I don’t regret it. I did what was right for me, and you should do what’s right for you.
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Name : Laura G, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 22, City : Philadelphia, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College,Hysterical, prurient media salivatings aside, I seriously doubt that ‘teens today’ are any more or less chaste than they have been for thousands of years now. We are just fortunate enough to live in a culture that takes a deep, abiding interest in everybody’s sex life. I didn’t particularly ‘cherish’ my virginity. I think the whole concept is primarily religious, which I am not, and deeply creepy. The idea of a girl’s virginity being ‘sacred’ dates back a *long* time, long before Christianity, and is tied up with the concept of the girl as eventual producer of heirs and property of her husband. You’ll notice that nobody freaks out nearly as much when boys have sex, but us girls are supposed to be pristine vessels? Things really haven’t changed. I greatly respect anyone who chooses to reman celibate, by the way; I just think that the idea of virginity as talisman is arbitrary and dogmatic.
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Name : K.B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 26, City : Austin, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Housewife, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Anymore? You are 17. Do you mean like they cherished it when they were 13 or 14? Or like teens did in the earlier generations when you weren’t alive? It is true that our society is becoming more and more desensitized to sex, but there have always been teens (guys and girls) who didn’t want to wait for marraige. There is no simple answer to your question. It all depends on the people, the beliefs they hold, and the situation they are in. If you want to save yourself for marraige, then more power to you, but not everyone shares your morals values. If you want to know why someone doesn’t cherish their virginity, ask them because no one else can answer that but them.
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Name : mark, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 20, City : Billings, State : MT, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,To some extent, today’s teens are influenced by the times. Sexual messages are literally everywhere, even in shampoo commercials (thank you, Herbal Essences). Too many adults preach ‘safe sex,’ as if any such thing existed, instead of encouraging pre-marital abstinence, the only guaranteed method of avoiding unwanted pregnancy and STDs. If they mention it at all, it’s dismissed as unrealistic, as if people can’t live without sex.
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Name : DC, Gender : M, Age : 29, City : Knoxville, State : TN, Country : United States,
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