Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences THE QUESTION:
D20: I am an American Sign Language student and would like to know how deaf people really feel about hearing people becoming involved in their culture.
POSTED AUG. 13, 1998
Lesly B., 30, Arrowbear, CA
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THE QUESTION:
D19: Is it true that a larger percentage of people with mental disabilities have oversized and crooked teeth? I have noticed this a lot and am curious.
POSTED AUG. 7, 1998
D.M.V., 35
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THE QUESTION:
D18: When blind people or people in wheelchairs need help, most people go out of their way to help them. Why is it that when someone is hard-of-hearing (not completely deaf), most people get annoyed or frustrated with them when asked to repeat something? Is it really that inconvenient to repeat a statement or question?
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
M.G., 26, white female, Springfield, VA
ANSWER 1:
Perhaps a request to repeat a statement could be seen as evidence that the handicapped person wasn’t paying attention. The hearing-impaired seldom have visible characteristics that identify them as such.
POSTED JULY 18, 1998
Melinda M., Davison, MI
FURTHER NOTICE:
This is a very astute observation. Being blind or physically impaired is a visible disability, while being deaf or hard of hearing isn’t (at least not immediately). Because they look and act normally, deaf/hard-of-hearing people will be assumed to be able to communicate normally, and salespeople and others can become flustered when they don’t. There is also, I believe, a tendency to blame the victim of this challenge, to treat them as cognitively deficient. That is, if the person who is spoken to can’t understand, he or she must not be very intelligent, and if I say something loud enough, you ought to be able to make out what it is (i.e. “What are you, deaf?!”).
POSTED JULY 21, 1998
Mike <thewests@ctsi.net>, Richmond, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Do you notice a difference more in men than in women? I am painfully aware of a tendency to get annoyed if someone I regularly associate with can’t understand me, and have assumed it was yet another piece of hard-wiring I’ve got to program around. The feeling is that what I did is inadequate. Note please that we do not defend, like or choose this reaction.
POSTED AUG. 9, 1998
Al, 59, male, <alarose@ncwc.edu>, Rocky Mount, NC
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I think it is hard to tell if someone has a hearing problem, whereas you can easily tell if someone is otherwise disabled. As a result, people may not know the person is hard of hearing, or not believe they are. My father claims he can’t hear sometimes, but I think he is just not paying attention – and that is annoying.
POSTED AUG. 9, 1998
Marcie B. 29, female, Boston, MA
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I have partial hearing loss and also work with someone who is partially deaf. Even though I have been treated as you indicate, I still get very frustrated with this other individual. Partly it’s because he is something of a flake, so in his case I never know if he’s ignoring me or simply doesn’t hear me. I think a large part of the problem is that hearing loss is not as obvious as a wheelchair or white cane are. Because others can’t see the “disability,” they think we’re not paying attention (which is taken as an insult) or they think we’re stupid. Also, most people don’t like to “make a scene,” which they seem to think they’re doing if they speak louder. Short of wearing a hearing aid, which I don’t really need, I don’t have a solution to this problem besides realizing that most people are not being mean, they’re just ignorant about hearing loss.
POSTED AUG. 28, 1998
Heidi J., 31 <heidij@ix.netcom.com>, Simi Valley, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
It’s not that it’s an inconvenience to repeat your statement, it’s that it’s embarrassing and makes you feel stupid. My aunt is blind and my uncle is deaf. They meet the reaction you described all the time. Those who go to my aunt’s assistance feel good about helping her and that they have done well. Those who have to repeat a statement to my uncle feel embarrassed at raising their voices above the norm, and feel at fault and stupid. My uncle reads lips, and if he asks you to repeat something, he doesn’t want it said louder – just more clearly. We all mumble from time to time, and in different regions we shape the vowels differently – it can make understanding a challenge for the deaf.
POSTED SEPT. 5, 1998
C.J., 40, United Kingdom
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
It depends on how you were asked to repeat the question. I have a generally long-lived family, and past a certain age, we all experience a certain amount of hearing loss. One set of grandparents showed why the people in our family did or did not show impatience when they repeated their sentences: My grandmother wears her hearing aids, keeps them adjusted, tells us to speak slower or lower, and turns off the TV during visits. My grandfather (her late husband) refused to admit he needed those things, when he wore them they were turned up too high (so every sound was too loud, or worse, they whistled), and finally declared, “They didn’t do a bit of good.” When you’re asked to repeat a question three times and know you’ve got to shout, or you’re competing with the TV, it wears you down quickly.
POSTED SEPT. 25, 1998
Debra, 44, guarding her hearing <debra@whro.org>, Norfolk, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
You have succeeded in unearthing an old prejudice I didn’t know I had. I have been around deaf people since I was 10 and have even worked at the local school for the deaf. However, I also had hard-of-hearing grandparents who expected me to yell and repeat myself. I have no problem with someone who has done what they can for themselves. However, I don’t like being asked to take up the slack when they don’t want to do anything about it. When I see someone is wearing a hearing aid, I don’t usually mind helping them, though sometimes I feel frustrated they have not learned to at least use the sign language alphabet that many hearing people know.
POSTED OCT. 13, 1998
Hearing, Greensboro, NC
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
I would say it’s because it is easier to identify the disability of someone in a wheelchair or who is blind. You can’t tell someone is deaf or hard-of-hearing just by looking at them, so the perception may be that the person just wasn’t paying attention to what was said, and consequently people become irritated. In addition, there are few things more frustrating than trying and not succeeding at being understood; perhaps some of the irritation is at the situation, rather than at the individual who is hard-of-hearing. In a reversal of this situation, I once had a deaf patient throw a clipboard at me in the doctor’s office I worked at because I was having a hard time understanding her speech! She refused to write notes or sign. Talk about frustration!
POSTED NOV. 13, 1998
Laura O., 37, white, able-bodied, MD
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THE QUESTION:
D17: I would like to know why being fat has such a negative connotation in our society. It seems to bring out a “wounded bird in the flock” reaction in some people. “Fat slob” or “lazy, fat slob”; these words almost go together automatically. Do we ever say “skinny slob” or “lazy, tall slob”? Being skinny, tall, short, bald, long-haired, etc. doesn’t carry the same insult. Being fat is almost synonymous with being disgusting. I’ve struggled for years to improve and maintain my self-worth in a world that says I’m defective and disgusting. What’s up?
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
38-year-old mom, fat, married and loved, Overeaters Anonymous member, Long Beach, CA
ANSWER 1:
I have been struggling with my weight my whole life, and know how it is to be on “both sides” of the fence, so to speak. How did the word “fat” get a negative connotation? I think “fat” is just like any other word; that is, the most important questions are “Who said it?” and “How did he/she say it?” I do not have a problem calling myself fat. I was, and still am, a little fat. Why do use the word “fat” to describe yourself? Do you consider yourself “fat”? If you do, then deal with it. Otherwise, use a better term. I like “overweight.” My feelings are, if you have a problem with a word, do not use it.
POSTED JULY 20, 1998
G. Mills, 25, male, “a little fat” <TW@sprynet.com>, San Diego , CA
FURTHER NOTICE:
I think it’s tragic that so much emphasis is placed on looks in our society. I believe our society has placed such a negative connotation on the word “fat.” It has been my experience that I relate differently to people not because they are fat or skinny but because of the way they carry themselves. I have known many skinny people who don’t seem to like themselves at all, and it’s hard for me to relate to them. I have also known many overweight people who are or seem perfectly content with their weight. In my relations with people, it’s much more important how the person views himself or herself than weight or appearance. I encourage you to find where you are most comfortable and live with that. Remember that you are valuable and loved no matter what you look like.
POSTED SEPT. 1, 1998
Female, 18, college student, Upland, IN
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I suspect it has something to do with control. Large women are seen as a threat because of their siz – big means powerful to most people. Ancient figures of powerful goddesses are not thin but round like the Earth, women of ample proportions – strong. It looks easier to control women who are small like little girls than large like goddesses. In addition, the diet and fitness industry, which has become rich many times over from ensuring women become so consumed by fear of being fat that we participate in endless programs, buy tons of diet food, drinks, pills and injections, mutilate our bodies, starve ourselves and criticize other females (even our daughters and mothers), will help perpetuate this obsession for generations to come.
Not all flowers are the same size and shape, and I strongly suspect not all people are meant to be the same size and shape, either. As a culture we have bought into the idea that bodies need to conform to certain strict limitations of fat ratio and weight. It’s continually reinforced everywhere. I think most of the problems associated with being “over” weight are actually the result of the attitudes, fear and stress caused by society’s extreme reaction to women who are fat. If the energy spent obsessing about our weight was spent learning to be more emotionally resilient, secure and accepting of ourselves and others, we would be powerful, like a goddess. Instead, we spin our wheels, endlessly chasing the mirage of happiness in the form of a size 10-12-14-10, etc. Happiness and joy are decisions, not dress sizes.
POSTED SEPT. 5, 1998
Lisa B., 34 <starwings@pemail.net>, Southern California
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Actually, in times past, being obese was a sign of wealth. Look at Henry VIII. Look at the paintings of Ruebens. For the wealthy rural aristocrat, mobility was not an issue. As the middle class ascended, it was acceptable although perhaps not desirable to be somewhat overweight. In today’s modern, urban environment, mobility is an issue. Speed is an issue. People associate mental agility with physical agility. To be a quick thinker, you need to be a quick mover. To be successful, you need to think and move quickly. Control is also an issue in our modern, media-driven, capitalist economy. Many people feel out of control of their lives. They perceive that obese people have no self-control and therefore have disrespect for such people because they resent their own lack of control over their lives. Naturally, health is also an issue. Obesity can a shortened lifespan and myriad health problems. People are afraid of death and sickness, and, in a way, they are afraid of obese people because when they see them they think of poor health and short lives and are reminded of their own short lives, and deal with this discomfort by vilifying such people.
POSTED OCT. 15, 1998
George, 28, gay, white male, New York, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Fat build-up is a symptom of a body that is not processing correctly. The human body is meant to rid itself of toxins and waste. We have plenty of ways to take in and send out “bits of the earth” (plants, water, animals, oxygen). When people negatively connotate a manifestation of being “different” in size, shape, look, color, behavior, etc., they are really pointing out marked differences in their perceptions of what is correct or normal (balance/symmetry), much like children naturally do in learning about their world. Unfortunately, learned adults may have an impolite agenda (medical staffers included). It is my feverent hope that adults, by perhaps seeing weight gain as a symptom of bodily “processing,” will come forth with a remedy for this. On the other hand, some people in America deem the larger to largest size person as more “attractive” (if not more normal) and want to interact with them and actually disdain thin people. Fat is seen as strength. Could this be the other end of the negative connotation of body size? We wait for medical science to become adult enough to get beyond the negative connotations of fatness and determine what makes it occur. Then the choice of whether to change body fat is yours.
POSTED NOV. 16, 1998
Christine K., 38, single white female, fat and thin, in places, <Knopka@webtv.net>, Woodbury, NJ
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Being significantly overweight has few if any advantages. Therefore anyone who allows themself to become fat is clearly not showing respect for themself/their body. When it comes to sexual attraction (the driving force behind these sort of judgments), generally truly fat people are less energetic and fit (a cue that sex may be substandard) and they are often less healthy and fit (which the male instinctively avoids in looking for someone to give birth to his children). Sadly, eating is an instinct that, in today’s world, is a habit-forming activity. It is one of the most obvious clues that people have become too decadent and soft through all that technology and our society has to offer. I wish it weren’t the case, but I am “fat” too, and I forever struggle to free myself of the burden it puts on me.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, happily married female, unhappily at 260 pounds, 26, MD
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I think it comes down to the fact that being fat is more or less a choice (I realize losing weight is much more difficult for some people than others). It’s not like being tall. Like it or not, in our culture, being thin (or at least not drastically obese) is like wearing nice clothes or keeping up personal grooming. And while there are medical conditions that can cause obesity, the overweight people I’ve known pretty much eat all the time and don’t exercise. Is it all that unfair to consider them lazy?
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Aiken, male, 31, Monterey, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
First of all, you need to assess your feelings about yourself first. Do you think you’re “fat,” “lazy” or a “slob”? You allow this hurt to yourself. You must love yourself before anyone else can.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Tina, female, R.N., 27 <beaniejet27@yahoo.com>, Lenox, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
I think Americans value hard work. Someone overweight is seen as someone who is not working or contributing to society; they are not taking care of themselves or “carrying their own weight” in the community. They are seen as people who sit home, eat, sleep and do little or nothing. Others are picking up their workload. This is resented and interpreted as “fat equals lazy” and undesirable.
POSTED DEC. 1, 1998
Leigh, average white girl <Donam@gate.net>, Tampa, Fl
FURTHER NOTICE 9:
I also am a large woman. I have learned several things about people’s reactions. Rarely are they meant to hurt. It is a response to fear. People are afraid of those who are not like themselves. You can choose to accept the “fat, ugly, lazy” stereotype, or you can choose to be the individual you are. Give the frightened a chance to learn who your are, and not your image. As I heard the other day, just because somebody says you’re a chair, that doesn’t make you a chair.
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
S.Wild, 45, Southeast Missouri <swild@ldd.net>, Sikeston, MO
FURTHER NOTICE 10:
To many people, obesity is equivalent to the Biblical sin of gluttony: Total lack of self-control in food intake and eating past the point of satiation. It is the rare person who is aware of the paucity of research attempting to explain why some people find it hard to consume enough calories to maintain a healthy weight while others (like me) obviously consume more calories a day than we can easily use, so gain fat. Until science fully understands appetite, satiation and the meanings of food to specific individuals, obesity will continue to be a problem, and medical, social and psychological interventions will be only marginally effective. Hang in there and focus on improving your health each day, and quit worrying about your weight, as such.
POSTED DEC. 9, 1998
White, female, 51, nurse, Atlanta , GA
FURTHER NOTICE 11:
We live in a society that screams to us that fat is bad, fat is ugly and fat is distasteful. Eventually, you start thinking that the person inside the fat is the fat. In the course of eight years, I’ve gone from heavy to obese. People’s attitudes change, and some don’t even know it. Even those who care about you make comments on how big you’re getting. Fortunately, there are those who are more highly evolved – people who are willing to look beyond the fat to find the person.
POSTED DEC. 22, 1998
Shirl, 51, married white female <FWV@prodigy.net>, Londonderry , NH
FURTHER NOTICE 12:
Because being overweight is an undesirable characteristic in our society, people often assign other undesirable characteristics to those who are overweight. Much the same thing is done to anyone else who in one way or another falls outside the norms. The difference is that while bigotry against most other groups is not accepted, bigotry against the overweight is. So those of us who are overweight hear this bigotry expressed more often. What can we do? Not much, I’m afraid. Try to remember that thinking of the overweight as lazy slobs is inherent in our culture, that the people who do so are probably not aware of it, and that everyone has his or her burdens to bear, and this is ours.
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
Female 250-lb. athlete, Yorktown, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 13:
The last bastion of permissible discrimination in the United States is against obesity. It seems that it’s all right to denigrate, demean, ridicule and otherwise ostracize people who have some sort of problem with their weight. Just try getting a job in any number of disciplines in this country if you’re overweight. This society seems to think that all overweight people have a problem with “will power.” “Just quit eating,” “Stop feeding your face,” “Go on a diet” are all cliches that have no meaning for most overweight people, but for those who have never fought this extremely emotional battle, fat equals inferior, weak.
It is not just a word – no more than “nigger” is just a word. It is hurtful and painful. I was born with genetics that left me somewhat overweight, even immediately following Marine Corps boot camp. I was in good shape, but I was still overweight. I’d like to see some of the people who think it’s just an eating problem try that as a weight control measure. On top of all that, if you’re overweight, just try getting a date in today’s society. People look at you like you’re nuts. Why would they ever want to date a “fat” person? Who wants to go to the beach, a pool or anywhere else where some state of undress is de riguer when you feel like you want to crawl under a rock? It hurts all the time. But society says “Fat is Bad,” so we all think we should look like some anorexic aberration. And then we offer “professional help” for anorexics, bulimics and the like. But if you’re obese, it’s all your fault. No professional help for you. Just insipid programs that serve mostly to make their organizers wealthy. It all comes down to the incredibly superficial society that exists in this nation today. To all you folks out there who think that because I’m fat, I have a problem, I urge you to examine your own personal values and standards. It’s you who has the worse problem
POSTED JAN. 19, 1999
Middle-aged white male, West Caldwell, NJ
FURTHER NOTICE 14:
It really bothers me that mainstream arbiters of what is permissable and what is unacceptable (Jay Leno is a good example) seem completely comfortable making fun of any and all fat people. Linda Tripp is a perfect example of a target. How many jokes have there been on national television that label her ugly or sexually and romantically unattractive, while her appearance has absolutely nothing to do with the Clinton scandal?
POSTED JAN. 27, 1999
B. Hale, double-chinned <halehart@aol.com>, Hartford , CT
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THE QUESTION:
D16: I lost both legs six inches below the knees a year ago. Are there any publications that list barrier-free home plans?
POSTED JUNE 22, 1998
Bill E., 70, <WEggers700@aol.com>, Dallas, OR
ANSWER 1:
I don’t have a direct answer for your state, but places to start might be your state’s rehabilitiation department, or your local access living center. Try contacting the social worker at your hospital, or even the vendor of your wheelchair or other devices. I’m in the Chicago area, and I know the access living center here can give architectural references. Good luck.
POSTED DEC. 9, 1998
Chris, 47, Wheaton, IL
FURTHER NOTICE:
I work for an organization called The Independent Living Centre. I have some information you may be interested in that I could send to you by snail mail that we use for accessible housing. It includes things like ramp elevations, door widths, bathroom sizes and accommodations, etc. If you’d like to contact me by e-mail at work, I would have the information right at hand and could send it off to you. There are several publications and organizations you might get aold of, but again, they are at my office.
POSTED FEB. 4, 1999
Regis, female, service provider <regis@ilcwr.org>, Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
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THE QUESTION:
D15: Our family was recently at the community pool. Our five-year-old son saw a little girl swimming who had lost her hand in some sort of accident. He was petrified when he saw it and ran under a towel for the rest of the time we were there. Now he’s nervous about going back to the pool. When we asked him why he was upset about it, he said it scared him and he wanted to know if the girl was going to be OK. What would be the best thing to say to him to make him less fearful of this girl and this type of situation in the future?
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
R.D., white female, Jacksonville, FL
ANSWER 1:
Tell him she may have been born without her hand and has never missed it. Plus, she seems to get along well without a second hand, and he would learn to do the same if anything like that happened to him. Finally, tell him she probably feels bad when people stare at her, and may not mind if he asks her how she lost her hand. She might even turn out to be as sweet and nice as he is.
POSTED JULY 21, 1998
Mike <thewests@ctsi.net>, Richmond, VA
FURTHER NOTICE:
First of all, I’d acknowledge your son’s fear. After all, many adults are frightened by someone else’s disability; we just hide it better. Then I would be honest – tell your son you aren’t sure what happened to the girl’s hand, whether she was born that way or lost it in an accident, but that nothing is going to happen to his hand. I suspect your son is afraid that one day he’ll wake up missing something, but can’t quite put his fear into words. Finally, I’d point out that, while the little girl’s hand won’t grow back, she is definitely OK – she’s swimming and playing, just like your son. Help him see that she’s still a kid, just like him, who probably watches TV and gets in trouble and likes to eat ice cream, just like he does. The important things are to help your son understand that A) with or without a hand, the little girl is OK, and B) he’s still safe, and nothing is going to happen to him.
POSTED JULY 24, 1998
Laura, 37, white female, MD
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Having a disability or difference is normal. No one is the same as anyone else. Teach your children not to be afraid to get to know someone. Especially, teach your children not to be mean or exclusive concerning people who are different. I was born with one arm much shorter than the other and without an elbow. I have to say, although people will argue, that children are cruel if they are not taught tolerance and acceptance and kindness. I don’t know how I learned it, but focusing on this little girl and some way to deal with her arm isn’t it. It’s teaching your child to deal with other human beings in a respectful, dignified manner. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Love and peace to you and your child.
POSTED AUG. 4, 1998
Dolores M. <Muddypaw@aol.com>, Powhatan, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Tell him the girl has learned to get along without her hand. She has adjusted, and he would too, if it happened to him. She probably wouldn’t mind if he asked her politely how she lost her hand. She may say that she was born without it, so has never missed it.
POSTED OCT. 28, 1998
Mike <thewests@ctsi.net>, Richmond, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
There is no way confronting something like this won’t be painful and scary for a young child, but unfortunately it’s a reality that has to be faced. The best thing you could do would be to explain that the person did have an accident and that they are perfectly well but that they will need help and love to recover. Tell your child that people with disfigurements might often look scary but they are often very scared themselves and quite lonely. Children should be taught to treat people with such disabilities just like anyone else and be made aware that if they draw attention to the person’s “problem” they may make them very sad.
POSTED NOV. 21, 1998
Agrivaine <agrivaine@yahoo.com>, Dublin, Ireland
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Educate your son about different handicaps. I coached a 7- to 10-year-old softball team for girls last summer, and one of my all-star players had only one arm. Two years ago she had a tumor in her arm, and it had to be removed from the shoulder down. She was an excellent player, and I was proud to have her on my team. Remember, handicaps can be very scary for children who do not understand them. Children also respond as they see other adults respond. Maybe you could tell him about different people with handicaps who do the same things anyone else can do.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Tina S. <tinaschroeder@yahoo.com>, New Haven, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I am blind, and I feel that many people think that someone who may have a physical limitation is somehow different from them. They are not, and in fact are humans with feelings and interests just like you. Having a physical limitation doesn’t mean they cannot do anything or are stupid, it just means they may have different methods of doing day-to-day tasks. I know that I enjoy people talking to me and don’t mind people asking questions because I feel I can possibly get them over their fears. So I thank you in taking this approach in telling your son not to be afraid of the little girl he saw in the pool. I only wish more parents would take the same approach you have.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Carlos T. <cetaylor@bsu.edu>, South Bend, IN
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
Hooray for you and your wife for taking a good, common-sense approach. When others see someone who is handicapped, they often shy away and won’t (or are afraid to) see them as people just as you and I. I can say this because I am deaf, and my son and daughter are also deaf.
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Lindsay H. <lindsay_horton@hotmail.com>
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
I am an amputee, and yes, I do get stares from all sorts of people. Some give me a look as if I’m an alien, some will give a sympathetic expression, while others will give a disgusted one. What should you tell your son? Well, I think you must tell him that an amputee is no freak and that he will not harm him (like Captain Hook from Peter Pan). Also, tell him that losing an arm in an accident is still considered an accident, just like a fall, only more serious. It’s no big deal. Tell him he should be helpful toward such a disabled person and feel blessed he is in a proper shape. Tell him he should also admire the courage of that little girl, for it ain’t easy to swim with one arm, and it’s even more difficult in public.
POSTED DEC. 30, 1998
JuzMe, Singapore,
FURTHER NOTICE 9:
Did you ask your son why it disturbed him? It’s often impossible to stretch our adult imaginations in the same direction as a child’s; I’ve discovered that asking them directly is usually the safest and easiest route. We also have the freedom to tell them we need a bit of time to make sure what we say is right, and this might mean getting information from somewhere else. Maybe he can even help you in finding the information. A librarian is usually a very good source and can help you find adult and children’s books so you can meet your child’s specific needs. For many years I worked in a school where children with and without disabilities were integrated, and I believe it’s important to talk about whatever on the child’s mind.
POSTED FEB. 4, 1999
Regis, parent and teacher <maeve@golden.net>, Cambridge, Ontario, Canada
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THE QUESTION:
D14: Why do drive-up ATMs have braille on the keys?
POSTED JUNE 14, 1998
H. Kelly <slkelly@pacbell.net>, San Diego, CA
ANSWER 1:
One reason is that passengers, say in a taxi or the backseat of a friend’s car, use drive-up ATMs, too.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
Mark B., 28 <MBirds7202@aol.com>, Grand Rapids, MI
FURTHER NOTICE:
They are required to do so under the Americans With Disabilities Act, among other things. A better question would be why they don’t have instructions posted in braille or are not required to speak instructions. Each ATM has a different button arrangement, and some of the buttons are not brailled because they serve multiple uses. I used to have a blind significant other, and this made him extremely angry. The people who try to “adopt” these things need to do a much better job of consulting the blind.
POSTED JUNE 26, 1998
John, Chicago, IL
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
This is most likely because the manufacturer doesn’t know where the unit is going to be installed, and it’s cheaper to use the special keys on all the machines.
POSTED JUNE 27, 1998
Lewis E., <lengel@ix.netcom.com>, New York, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
My wife is blind and we have considered this question before. I’d say it is simply cost-effective to make all of the panels the same, whether they are for “drive-up” ATMs or not. Also, it avoids potential discrimination (perhaps a passenger in the back seat on the driver’s side will use it.)
Mark R., 35 <mark@oe.fau.edu>, Boca Raton, FL
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THE QUESTION:
D13: Why do some people still refer to individuals with an illness such as manic-depressive disorder as “crazy”?
POSTED MAY 29, 1998
mrazy, Norfolk, VA
ANSWER 1:
Probably due to lack of education in the psychological area, tendency to stereotype and/or insensitivity. A number of words/terms have been replaced over the years to make them more specific and perhaps, less offensive. Manic-Depressive, for example, is now Bi-Polar Disorder. Formerly, any type of mental affliction was called “crazy” by the general population.
POSTED JUNE 15, 1998
Ed H., 56, white male,<e_hamrick@hotmail.com>, Ocala, FL
FURTHER NOTICE:
Unfortunately, the public is not educated about mental illness. Schizophrenia would be a good example of what people perceive as “crazy.” Schizophrenia could include hearing voices, having grandiose ideas and not being in touch with reality. These are just a few of the characteristics of this mental disorder. Under medication, most people can lead fairly normal lives. Many people suffer from anxiety disorder, due to stress, and also from depression. It is difficult for the public to understand that depression is something quite common in our society. Peope tend to blame themselves, rather than recognizing they may have a chemical imbalance in their system. Medication can stabilize the condition. Many commentators could not understand why Kurt Cobaine would commit suicide. Clearly, this man was in a depressed state, and had he sought help, he may be alive today. It has nothing to do with fame or fortune. If you listen to his music, his tone is one of a person clearly depressed. Our society places a stigma on those diagnosed with mental illness. Usually, it is a lifelong condition and must be treated by a physician.
POSTED SEPT. 11, 1998
L.S., 51, white female, Ann Arbor, MI
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THE QUESTION:
D12: With issues such as anorexia, bulimia and disease-induced weight loss, why don’t Americans embrace the overweight population like people in other countries do?
POSTED MAY 14, 1998
C. Butler, 22, African American, Big Beautiful Woman <Cherylb4u@AOL.com>, Memphis, TN
ANSWER 1:
Society has always changed its opinion on people’s weight according to the conditions at the time. In times of plenty, thinness is in; in times of famine, fat is where it’s at. Actually, we all had better things to worry over many years ago, but then came the youth revolution about the time of the Kennedy administration. (The model) Twiggy was not looked down on as skinny – she was the epitome of beauty. It has gone downhill from there. No one would suggest we should all look like a Reubens painting, but the amount of pressure today to be rail-thin is outrageous. When will common sense prevail? Maybe not until another revolution. Maybe the folks in the middle (not heavy or thin) will say “enough of this madness” and be more tolerant of people’s individuality.
POSTED MAY 23, 1998
E.S. <millernes@aol.com>, Hagerstown, MD
FURTHER NOTICE:
Overweight people often fall under the same misconception to which gays and lesbian are subject: That their condition is a choice. Gluttony was once considered one of the seven deadly sins, and obesity is still often viewed as a “choice” – that fat individuals suffer from an unhealthy lack of self-control.
POSTED JUNE 25, 1998
WitchWomon, Dianic witch <WitchWomon@aol.com>, Southfield, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Since I was little, I was always the “fat kid” in most of the social groups I hung out with. After puberty, I would go through periods of weight loss and weight gain, all of which were directly related to how much exercise I was receiving. When I turned 23, I finally made the difficult lifestyle changes needed to accommodate my slow metabolism, and started exercising on a regular basis. Three years later, I’ve now gone from 215 pounds to 165, and I feel and look 100 percent better, but if I still don’t run three miles every other day I get fat, regardless of what I eat. While I realize many severely obese individuals have problems beyond sheer lazyness, I can’t help but wonder how little overweight people really do exercise.
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
Steve K., 26 straight white male <skerr@netcom.com>, Seattle, WA
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THE QUESTION:
D11: When I think to myself, I “hear” myself “talking” within my mind (for illustration, also when I’m reading). Obviously, people who were born deaf think, but do they “hear” themselves in some way in their own minds? What is the form of their “thinking”? What, if anything, substitutes for phonetics in their reading? I suppose a similar question could be asked of people who are blind from birth: How do they “see” the images of what they touch?
POSTED MAY 12, 1998
Art K., Washington, D.C.
ANSWER 1:
As someone profoundly hearing-impaired since age two, I can tell you that the “thinking” depends on whether the person signs, lip-reads or can hear a little. For signing people, the thoughts are formed as signing hands. I can’t presume to speak for others, but I find that as a lip-reader and speaker, my thoughts are a combination of vocalization and visualization of objects and concepts. I’m guessing that to one who “sees” silent lip-reading as a form of communication, the thought would emerge as a face or lips moving.
POSTED OCT. 22, 1998
A .Goode, 20, white deaf female <jgoode@ns.pic-internet.or.jp>, Osaka, Japan
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