Race/Ethnicity Questions 551-560

THE QUESTION:
R560: I’m curious to know why so many black people use profanity in public. In the last few weeks, I have witnessed many black women (and men) swearing loudly at each other and generally bringing attention to themselves.
POSTED DEC. 16, 1998
David, 44, white male, Minneapolis, MN

ANSWER 1:
I think it may be more of an age thing than a racial one. I find “some” black and white youths to use profane language in public as mere acts of rebellion and common adolescent behavior.
POSTED DEC. 21, 1998
Shawn, black male <smoore15@aol.com>, Baltimore, MD
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THE QUESTION:
R559: I have heard many racial slurs, usually made by white people. What slurs do black people use for other races? How about people who are minority but not black? It seems to me that white people have (and use) more of them.
POSTED DEC. 15, 1998
T.A.S., 35, white male, Hobe Sound, FL

ANSWER 1:
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a black person use a racial slur toward another race, especially one on the level of the N-word. I’ve never heard my mother use a racial slur, even though I am pretty sure she, as a child growing up in the Jim Crow South, had bad experiences with white people. Nor have I heard any of my friends use any. At the risk of sounding naive, it seems the worst thing you could call a white person today is “racist.” “Cracker” and “honky” went out with bellbottoms and disco (though bellbottoms did make a comeback).
POSTED DEC. 16, 1998
RG, black female, 26, Richmond, VA

FURTHER NOTICE:
There are slurs about white people you have probably never heard. Be warned, you won’t like these: Crackerbastard (male), crackerb***h (female), crackerf**k (any white), blackcracker (a white who acts black or a black who acts white), dog stringed b***h or bastard (the opposite of nappy-haired nigger), crackerjack (to rob a white), and nigger (a blatant reversal of the most despised slur coined by whites back onto whites).
POSTED DEC. 16, 1998
Anonymous black male

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
You are just itching to get your feelings bruised, aren’t you? I have heard extremely ugly words I wouldn’t use myself, but here goes: Honkyf–k, white cave b—h, dog-haired cracker, and a term I’ve yet to figure out, nigger, and its oxymoron, white nigger, referring to white people.
POSTED DEC. 16, 1998
Black male, New York

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Latinos have some very ugly racial slurs for blacks and Indians, often used by some with black or Indian ancestry themselves. A black is a “miate,” a black bug. There is also an ugly saying “Soy un negrito a ti?” meaning: Am I a little darkie to you? i.e. someone you can ignore. “Indio” for Indian also means a hick or a dumb animal. Those for whites were actually originally for the “pure” Spanish and later applied to white Anglos. They are mildly teasing more than serious insults. “Guero” means light-skinned, “gabacho” is a rutabaga and “bolillo” is white bread. Gringo is equivalent to Yank, not an insult. I hope others will learn these not to use them, but to know when someone is insulting them. Racism between non-whites is something we must confront as much as the white variety.
POSTED DEC. 16, 1998
A.C.C., Mexican and American Indian, San Antonio , TX

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
To me, the term “white trash” is extremely derogatory coming from anybody.
POSTED DEC. 18, 1998
Chris, 39, white female <cnorman@startribune.com>, Minneapolis, MN

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Here’s another one for white folks: “Mountain William” for hillbilly. I think it’s cute rather than derogatory – it doesn’t sound as offensive.
POSTED JAN. 5, 1999
C.L.F., <clflores@bellsouth.net>, West Palm Beach, FL
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THE QUESTION:
R558: I have noticed that, in the obituaries in the newspaper, the accompanying photos are always of African Americans and not of other racial or ethnic groups. Why is this?
POSTED DEC. 14, 1998
Rayn H., male <hetterscheidt.7@osu.edu>, Columbus, OH
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THE QUESTION:
R557: I spent several years growing up in New York City. During that time, I was beaten up on eight different occasions. Seven of those beatings were by groups of young black males. I have always been wary of young black males ever since. I don’t trust them. I do not have this same instinctive fear when I encounter black women, elderly black people, etc. I have been told this is a racist position and that I should “get over it.” OK, maybe it is racist. But I often hear African Americans saying they don’t trust white people because they’ve had bad experiences with them, but I’d never get away with telling them to “get over it.” Isn’t this a double standard? I almost got killed and I’m just supposed to forget it?
POSTED DEC. 9, 1998
Dan, white male, New York, NY

ANSWER 1:
In response to the “getting over it” part, we (Afro Americans) do just that on a daily basis. You will never understand what it’s like to be black and to be discriminated against on a daily basis, and I know you don’t want to hear it (I’m sure you’ve seen the 20/20 and Dateline stories on the disparate treatments), but we adjust and keep on living. Despite all the attention given to the discriminatory practices toward all minorities, they still exist because this is the kind of society we live in.

Now, to specifically respond to your statement/question, I don’t think you should have to forget your experiences; just don’t transfer the hurt or bitterness onto other young black males like myself. Don’t judge me based on your past experiences – you’re being unfair to me,because I didn’t do anything to you, and you’re being unfair to yourself, because then you deprive yourself of maybe a very positive and productive encounter with others like myself. One last thing: You mentioned having an “instinctive fear” of young black males – that suggests to me that this fear is like second nature to you, or something you were born with. Not so. Prejudice is something you learn, so please unlearn this way of thinking, and judge me for me.
POSTED DEC. 21, 1998
Shawn, 29, black male <smoore15@aol.com>, Baltimore , MD

FURTHER NOTICE:
I feel it is silly and really counterproductive to generalize from a small group of thugs to an entire group of people because you’ve had bad experiences with those few thugs. I notice you said black males were responsible for those beatings seven out of the eight times – why not generalize about the group that beat you that eighth time? Still, it is understandable to say that some fear on your part is warranted in certain situations because of direct experiences. Just know that all black males are not thuggish and out to beat you to near death.

There is a bigger issue, though. And that is how the “angry, black male” stereotype affects us all. I, too, get fearful sometimes when approached by groups of black males. I often catch myself allowing my thoughts to run into that irrational world, but I usually rather quickly dismiss those thoughts as the nothings they are. If we all were allowed to be more honest without being labeled racist, etc., you would find out that not only whites, but blacks as well, sometimes feel those types of fear of black males. The black male stereotype generated through movies, television, newspapers and magazines has a lot to do with that irrational fear, but too many black males themselves (I’m included in this group) perpetuate that stereotype by trying to prove their manhood through physical acts. For some reason or another, too many people think a group of white thugs is just a group of white thugs, while a group of black thugs is indicative of all black males. Stereotype any group and you are bound to be incorrect.

In response to the first answer, I don’t have to “get over it” everyday because on most days I’m not faced with racism, direct or otherwise. I’m pretty certain that some blacks are faced with that everyday, but not all of us. And I also believe if we stopped saying that people can’t possibly understand what we go through, then they might actually try to understand what we go through. We as blacks don’t own discrimination or feeling put-down, as we sometimes seem to think, and as soon as more of us admit that, then maybe we would have a much better chance at true racial dialogue. And yes, whites have to realize that if millions of black people are yelling and screaming, saying something is wrong, then it would serve them well to at least honestly investigate the notion that something actually could be wrong.
POSTED DEC. 22, 1998
Issac B., 25, black male <ibailey@thesunnews.com>, Myrtle Beach , SC

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
This question raises the greatest diversity question of all: How does an individual reconcile behavior that is rational and justifiable from a personal standpoint, yet harmful to others and society at the same time? The ability to discern patterns from limited data is a sign of intelligence and a survival skill. Yet it is also a form of stereotyping. Of course it is rational for a man who has been mugged seven times by groups of young black men to avoid or fear groups of young black men. Simultaneously, it is unfair to the large majority of young black men who would never commit violent acts. The difficulty is that in order for the questioner to perceive the individuals as individuals, he first must get close enough to expose himself to potential assault. Another example is a storeowner who may experience frequent shoplifting by groups of teenagers. Does she tail teenagers throughout the store to protect her livelihood, which would be unfair to the many law-abiding teenagers, or ignore the pattern and lose thousands of dollars? To respect the dignity of the many means exposing oneself to the harm caused by the few. I can image thousands of years ago, men would have had to identify a stranger at a distance as a member of one specific clan or another, complete with stereotyped assumptions as to risk of violence and with big consequences for being wrong. Obviously, caution would rule over giving everybody the benefit of the doubt. How do we get beyond this in a multi-cultural society?
POSTED DEC. 22, 1998
B. Hale, white male <halehart@aol.com>, Hartford, CT

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
It is a double standard. I’m sure blacks who’ve been physically attacked by whites feel the same way. I just won’t take the chance again. I steer clear of black people whenever I can. I’m sure I’ll get some hate mail for this, but that’s fine.
POSTED MARCH 18, 1999
Tim, 30, single white male, <Fafnir777@hotmail.com>, FL

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I don’t think it is wrong to choose the groups of people you prefer to be around, especially in a case (like the one presented) where a group has harmed you individually. I think we should have the freedom to be close to the people who make us comfortable and to stay away from the people who make us uncomfortable. I don’t like people who put an undue amount of importance on material wealth. There is no reason I should have to be around those people.

The danger arises when the desire for isolation or separation begins to affect one’s actions toward another group. As long as the person who has been hurt by young black men doesn’t allow his feelings to interfere with the lives of other young black men (i.e. by harrassing them using your own professional status – police, salespeople) then I think it’s OK to choose whom you want to be around. The opposite line of thinking has led us to the ugliest forms of political correctness and forced integration.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Randy H., African American, male, agnostic, Silver Spring, MD
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THE QUESTION:
R556: Is it wrong for a white man to be interested in only Asian women?
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
John Y., male, San Francisco, CA

ANSWER 1:
It depends on why you are only attracted to Asian women. I will make the assumption from your question that you believe Asian women of are attractive due primarily for their appearance rather than other qualities. That is understandable to a certain degree if you just find Asian women more physically appealing. But, if you find Asian women more attractive overall because you think that due to their skin color, they will have certain personalities, you may be missing out on a world of women whom you may find yourself being attracted to if you got past your stereotypes.
POSTED DEC. 16, 1998
Boa, female, CA
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THE QUESTION:
R555: I am a white, middle-aged female. Lately, young black people ages 11 to 20 go out of their way to walk toward me for no apparent reason. I think they want to provoke or test to see what kind of reaction I will have. Where have they learned this behavior, and why are they doing this?
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
WGN listener, white female, Dolton, IL
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THE QUESTION:
R554: What does “black dutch” mean?
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
C. Pine <abqteachr@netscape.net>, Albuquerque, NM

ANSWER 1:
The “Black Dutch” were actually the Sephardic Jews who went to the Netherlands after being kicked out of Spain in 1492. But there are also many people with American Indian (especially Creek or Muscogee) ancestry who chose to “pass” as Black Dutch for the same reason light-skinned blacks passed as white: To avoid prejudice and have more opportunity.
POSTED DEC. 9, 1998
A.C.C., Mexican and American Indian, San Antonio, TX
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THE QUESTION:
R553: As a person very proud of my Southern heritage, I advocate displaying the Confederate Flag and things associated with it, but I am strongly against racism or prejudice. Is there a way I can show my Southern pride without offending people who associate the Confederate Flag with racism (since Hollywood and uneducated people have made the two synonomous)?
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Stacey M., 21, white female <smcabee@coj.net>, Middleburg, FL

ANSWER 1:
I guess I’m one of those ignorant people, since I indeed associate the Confederate Flag with racism. The Confederate Flag was the symbol of the Confederate States. The Confederate States were dedicated to the right of white Southerners to own other human beings. I find it incredible that an unbiased person would not find the flag of the Confederacy a shameful reminder of man’s inhumanity toward their fellow man. Regarding Southern heritage, I don’t feel the flag of the Confederacy is anymore represenative of what is good and worthy of the South than the Nazi flag would be of Germany.
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
S.F., black male <sfinley@wans.net>, Naperville, IL

FURTHER NOTICE:
Display your flag. It’s how you treat people that counts. If you’re turning up your nose at blacks just as you step from your flag-draped pickup, then I can see why you would be considered racist. Other than that, live ya life, girl.
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
A.A.W., 42, black female <ANABWI@aol.com>, Plantation, FL

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
In a word, no. People are ignorant like that, and nothing you can do will change that. Interesting enough, I believe Mississippi’s current state flag is the original Confederate Flag.
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
J. Sin, 18, white male, GA

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Stacey, please do not classify us who view the Confederate Flag as a racist symbol as “uneducated.” Most of us who view it as a racist symbol do so because it is affiliated with the Ku Klux Klan. This is not an “uneducated” assumption; this is fact. Also, many black people remember that it was waved in the Civil War (yes, I know slaves fought on the Confederate side also) and view it as a sign of oppression. Hollywood does play a major role in the linking of racism and the Confederate Flag. However, when portrayed, the flag is usually in the hands of a KKK member. Pretty historically accurate to my way of thinking. And, not as many of the movies Hollywood makes, i.e. “A Time to Kill”, non-fictional movies, “Mississippi Burning,” “Rosewood,” “Roots,” “Ghosts of Mississippi,” etc., are as exaggerated as some people may think. In fact, judging from what my grandmother and great-grandmother (an ex-slave’s child) have told me, the movies are really close to actual happenings.
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
Whitney T., 19, black female <scrumpies@juno.com>, Oxford, MS

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Actually, you have the KKK, other racist groups and the Confederacy itself to blame for making the flag synonymous with racism. Just like the swastika, St. Andrew’s cross started out as a non-racist and religious symbol. Then racist movements chose to appropriate them and they will probably be permanently associated with those beliefs. You and other white Southerners need to be asked, Why can’t you find another, less-hostile symbol to stand for your heritage? We all know the Confederacy fought for the right to buy and sell human beings based on their color. Doesn’t it tell you something obvious when no black or brown Southerners want anything to do with this flag, and white racists embrace it? How can you even claim not to be racist when you display the symbol of a regime that had white supremacy explicitly written into their constitution and declaration of independence, and who also committed mass treason against this nation?
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
ACC, Mexican and American Indian, San Antonio, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I believe that if you stand firm in your beliefs, and keep in your heart what you know is right, then being proud of your Southern heritage shouldn’t be a problem. If you live your life in a way that reflects your beliefs and convictions, then the actions should offend no one. But you must also remember, that even with the best of intentions, a person may still be offended. Is there another way to show pride in your heritage besides displaying a Confederate Flag?
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
Monica <abqteachr@netscape.net>Albuquerque, NM

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
Stacey, you mention a desire to display a symbol of your “Southern pride,” and do not understand why some might find it offensive. The Confederat Flag, like most flags, is a symbol that means different things to different people. By flying it with pride, you are displaying all the meanings, positive or negative, that the symbol carries. I believe your dilemma exemplifies the inherent lack of logic in harboring feelings of pride (or shame) for things over which you have had no control. You were not present to have an influence on the slave trade, the Dred Scott Decision or the institution of Jim Crow. But by flying the “Stars & Bars,” you inescapably align yourself with these aspects of “Southern heritage,” as surely as you would the more benevolent aspects. While you have a constitutional and moral right to display your symbol, be aware of all the psychological and historical baggage displayed with it.
POSTED DEC. 14, 1998
Sam, 30, male, brown American <SamAlex67@aol.com>, Chicago, IL

FURTHER NOTICE 7:
Kudos, sister, for bringing out an important point. It is very difficult to explain to people from outside the South that love for our heritage and culture and love for our country (the old CSA) is not synonymous with hatred and oppression of our black neighbors. Unfortunately, the problem you will encounter with displaying the Confederate Battle Flag in public is the preconceptions that are so firmly entrenched in the minds of the flag’s enemies. My suggestion is to consider the original Bonnie Blue Flag or First National Confederate flag as symbols of your Southern pride. Many people don’t recognize them, and they are not as inflammatory as the battle flag. Most importantly, just live your life in such a way that that your actions speak far louder than your symbols.
POSTED DEC. 22, 1998
Wallace, Confederate-American (love y’all!, serve y’all!) <tdbuk@hotmail.com>, Suwanee, GA

FURTHER NOTICE 8:
Sorry Stacey, but you are flying a flag with mainly racist associations. The Confederacy wasn’t for freedom – it was for the right to deny freedom to blacks, the right to keep property from women and the right to continue importing slaves. In addition, there was no Confederate nation. There was an attempt, but the war was lost, so no nation was formed. Your address says Florida. Perhaps you should do some readiing on the wonderful Floridian history as a place black slaves escaped to and lived free. Florida was a slave state with a very mixed history. The majority of people in Florida did not want to secede from the Union, but the few wealthy carried the state. If you read about Florida history, you’d be amazed at how independent and proud a history the state has.
POSTED DEC. 27, 1998
Barbara, 40, female, history buff <newagent99@hotmail.com>, FL

FURTHER NOTICE 9:
I too am very proud of my Southern heritage. However, I am not allowed to display a Confederate Flag at school, and I get looks and comments in public. I feel it stands for the brave men of all backgrounds who fought to keep the rights that the Constitution of the United State had given them. People are ignorant of what the Confederate Flag stands for. If black kids at school are allowed to wear Malcom X shirts, then I ought to be able to wear one with a Confederate Flag on it, and I ain’t whistling Dixie!
POSTED MARCH 10, 1999
Lil E., white female, 18, Dallas, TX
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THE QUESTION:
R552: Can someone please tell me why ethnic minorities in Britain participate less in British soccer? I’m talking about soccer at all levels, from recreational to professional. This is for a college project.
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Scott C. <scott connelly ic,@>, Kirkhill, Inverness, U.K.
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THE QUESTION:
R551: I’ve noticed that Asian-American women tend to be over-represented in symphony orchestras and musical groups such as high school bands. Why is this? Is it because of some inherent skill in music, better training, etc.?
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
J.C., white male, 40s, New London , NH

ANSWER 1:
It is not a question of inherent ability but one of family environment. In my high school on the East Coast, which was about 50 percent Asian, I could literally count on one hand the number of friends I had who had not taken piano lessons as a child. Most quit due to lack of talent, but an early introduction to music does foster an interest. In my high school orchestra, most of us had started with piano and then went on to other instuments. I don’t know about symphony orchestras, but I think it’s safe to say that if a higher percentage of Asian kids take music lessons than non-Asian kids, then Asians will “appear” to be over-represented in symphony orchestras in the long run. But it is a matter of identifying and nurturing talent, not one of raw talent within a given racial group. I’ve never noticed the gender difference you point out. In the two orchestras I took part in while in high school, there wasn’t any Asian male/female gender imbalance to speak of.
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
Kae L., 25, Asian American <kaelakim@hotmail.com>, Los Angeles, CA

FURTHER NOTICE:
I am no expert in this subject, but I can share with you what I observed as an Asian. Although there are many possible explanations to your question, such as social prestige and cultural values, I think the major reason Asians have a disproportionate representation in music groups can be largely attributed to parental encouragement. I grew up in a mixed racial environment: I had and still have friends of different races. But I don’t recall my white or Hispanic friends’ parents had the same degree of zealousness in regard to pushing their child to learn musical instruments as the Asian parents do. I actually can’t find a single Asian female friend I know who has not played the piano or violin sometime in their life.
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
J.C. <jimmychou@bigfoot.com>, South Pasadena , CA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Generally speaking, Asian parents place a great emphasis on learning a musical instrument as part of the education process. Violin, piano and cello are at the top of the list. “Lighter” sounding brass instruments such as an oboe or flute are next. Guitar or any rock instruments are not really accepted as part of bettering oneself. However, unless they’re a true militant parent, they’ll accept that as an honest effort (as long as they realize it’s a hobby and never a career – but hey, that’s another question).
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
Gary Z., Asian male <mediaxing@excite.com>, Danville, CA
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