Race/Ethnicity Questions 561-570

THE QUESTION:
R570: I am the only African American in a department of about 150 people. It’s been this way for 18 months. I work in the data processing field as a computer programmer. My organization seems to have a problem with hiring minorities. Why don’t they realize they have a problem? How do I reconcile my internal feelings when conversing with my co-workers, most of whom I like, with the ill-will I hold toward the group as a whole? It seems the group as a whole has made a conscious decision to avoid movement into the 2st Century by promoting equal opportunity. Why should I attend company functions, when I can’t help but feel that to take my family to the company picnic or my wife to the Christmas party, I will be putting them on display to be judged on their behaviors and attitudes? And how do I know these questions don’t pertain to my own hang-ups and not to those of my organization or the people I work with? Thank you for this site. Regardless of whether these questions are posted, Y? will receive a portion of my 1999 charitable contributions.
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
Paul H., black male, 35 <pthart@uswest.net>, Des Moines, IA

ANSWER 1:
Racism and other problems of diversity and inclusion exist at different levels: Individual, group and systemic. Individuals can be fine to work with, yet systemic problems persist out of ignorance and nobody owning the mission of addressing it. The first step is building awareness and then getting a management champion to help drive change. Another issue can be location – Des Moines probably has relatively few black programmers, and in circular fashion probably has trouble luring black professionals from metro areas with more vibrant black communities (Atlanta, D.C., etc.).
POSTED JAN. 5, 1999
B. Hale, white <halehart@aol.com>, Hartford, CT

FURTHER NOTICE:
Don’t you just love tokenism? Your course of action depends somewhat on whether you can trust anyone at work. Is it a cut-throat environment or a cooperative one? Do people who make suggestions get encouraged or decapitated?

About interacting with your co-workers: Notice who’s in charge of hiring and who isn’t. If you find yourself mad at people who “only work here” and have no hand in policy, it will help to redirect your focus to those in power. It’s obviously a big-ish company, so there must be a human resources department. You might start with them – the notion of taking your family to company functions is particularly poignant and might catch their attention. Or maybe you should start at the top – judgment call.

A good approach might be to assume that, of course, they’re aware of the problem and are working to correct it; and if only you could help in that effort … blah, blah. Even if it’s not true, it’s a softer entry. Fury isn’t usually persuasive. (White folks get awfully defensive, you know). Another similar approach might be, “I know how hard it can be to find minority workers in this field. Where have you been looking?” If you’re willing to do some extra work, you could ask how you could help them recruit. Maybe there are minority non-profits around that can give you suggestions. Do you know of any minority professional organizations in your field, or schools that train a lot of good minority students? If you go into your boss’s office with concrete suggestions, demonstrating that you’ve done a little helpful homework, they might listen. Or, they might just be racists. If you get nowhere, you might need to ask those minority non-profits how to file suit.
POSTED JAN. 5, 1999
Will H., white, 48, non-corporate <tccwill@flash.net>, Dallas , TX

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Do you have other friends who are also minorities who could apply for job openings with your company? If that were to happen, you would soon discover if things are as you think. If that hasn’t happened, then you don’t know if minorities tried and were turned down or if minorities didn’t apply. Are you expecting your employer to purposefully pursue minority applicants or simply choose among all applicants the most-qualified person for the job? It is hard to be the “only” anything at a party. But whether you are African American, gay, Jewish or Asian, you’ll always have experiences where your actions reflect on all your people. That’s the nature of being a minority.
POSTED JAN. 5, 1999
Anne, female, North, FL

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I do not mean this to be insulting, because you haven’t been clear on it, but please be sure to note that there may be differences between the will of those who can make hiring decisions and those in the trenches with you. Further, as someone who has been on the other side of the fence, and this is a crazy thing to even have to think about in the 1990s, would you want that company to hire one more African American? It seems to me that a number of minorities would have to be hired for it to become a comfortable, integrated workplace. A job can profoundly affect someone’s life, as you have noted. I in no way advocate discrimination in the workplace based on anything, but if there are a number of older, ignorant, mean, uneducated, entrenched, biased people at your company, anyone who is different might really be better off not being hired until those others leave – or are let go because they are hampering progress (on a variety of fronts).
POSTED JAN. 5, 1999
Lynda, female, 29, white, CT

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Your co-workers would likely have nothing to do with hiring decisions; that is normally handled by human resources and managment. Also, consider whether you know how many minority applicants there have been. A company might put out an ad for employment for anyone to answer, but if only white people reply, that’s the group from which they get to choose. Also, consider whether you have any reason to believe your co-workers are racist, other than what you have mentioned. All in all, you may be blaming the wrong people for something they have nothing to do with. For example, I do much of the training where I work, and so I have a lot of contact with human resources, but even with that contact I have no information about the people being interviewed. Now, all of that having been said, you could be right. If you have solid information showing that your workplace has been practicing discrimination, you need to report that to the authorities. The EOE laws are in place to prevent that kind of behavior.
POSTED JAN. 5, 1999
John K., 25 <the-macs@geocities.com>, Cranford, NJ

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Through this site I can anonymously give people a look into closed-door corporate meetings, where issues are discussed that the public never hears about.

I am a corporate officer at a large high-tech firm in California, and I have to admit I am more hesitant to hire African Americans than other people. It is not that I think they are less intelligent, wouldn’t fit in or are less capable than the people more often hired. It’s because African Americans carry a much greater potential business liability than other groups.

It is very easy for an African American to file a discrimination charge with the EEOC and other organizations. When these charges are levied, rather than the accuser having to prove my guilt, it is my burden to prove my innocence. Regardless of how diverse and sensitive an environment I create, it is too easy for my corporation to get sued over an innocent remark or gesture that someone took the wrong way (for example, the cake in which the frosting looked like watermelon seeds, or the “black jellybean” remark in the Texaco class action suit).

No matter how fair and colorblind we are as a corporation, every time an African American is disciplined, and every time I make a merit-based promotion where an African American is not chosen, my company stands the potential for getting sued. The public never hears about the bulk of the racial discrimination suits because, regardless of the lack of merit or ridiculous nature of the suit, most of the time it is quietly settled out of court to avoid bad publicity. Because of this, there are legions of unscrupulous attorneys salivating at the opportunity for a discrimination suit, regardless of the claim’s merit.

I am fully aware there are legitimate claims of discrimination where punitive damages are merited, and reparations are due to the filing party. However, in my career I have seen very few African Americans walk out of a discrimination suit, settled out of court or after a full trial, without making a lot of money. Even in cases where the corporation has prevailed, the defense of the company was still very expensive. I don’t feel like I am guilty of racism or discrimination. I have friends who are African American, and a fellow VP I greatly admire is African American. However, it is the people who use their race as a crutch, or have a racial chip on their shoulder the size of Baltimore, or people who use the “I’m offended” or “You’re opressing me” syndrone as a winning lottery ticket, who put my back to the wall. Although I would like to now, I will change my hiring practices when there are more Ken Hamblins and less Al Sharptons.
POSTED JAN. 27, 1999
Anonymous, California

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
To Anonymous: The attitude you exhibit is more likely to get your company sued than any of the hiring actions you have mentioned. So why not simply do the right thing and take your chances?
POSTED JAN. 28, 1999
Jerry, white male, Tampa, FL

FURTHER NOTICE 7:
To Anonymous: Do you hesitate to hire women, the disabled and workers over 40, too? These days, those groups are more likely to bring an employment discrimination suit than African Americans. The best way to keep your company from being sued is to have in place a good workplace conduct policy and follow it. Failing to hire a person because of his or her race, gender, age, disability or, in some places, sexual orientation, just creates the opportunity for more lawsuits – and rightfully so.
POSTED JAN. 29, 1999
Alicia, 30, black female attorney, Seattle, WA
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THE QUESTION:
R569: I read in my local newspaper about a man who has created an “African-American” flag. The flag combines the Black Nationalist flag (red, black, green) with the U.S.’s Stars and Stripes. I have mixed reactions about this. Will this flag represent needless separation of our people from other Americans, or will it symbolize a final unity between America and the black race? Will our people finally realize we are Americans, too?
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
Special K, black female <KBluv4u@aol.com>, Raleigh, NC

ANSWER 1:
I believe that combining flags would be negative. The current flag represents the United States and all of its citizens, not white people exclusively. Combining features of another flag, be it of a nation or ethnic group, would show favoritism toward that group.
POSTED JAN. 5, 1999
N.B., 26, white male. Providence , RI

FURTHER NOTICE:
I think this is a wonderful way for black Americans to feel proud about both their culture and their country. When the gay pride flag first came out about 15 years ago, I had a very strong feeling of finally being able to “identify” with something concrete. There is a similar flag with the rainbow colors combined with the stars of the U.S. Flag. It’s a way to show I am proud to be both gay and American. I’m not implying being black is the same as being gay, but I can understand why this flag could (and should) gain popularity in the black community. We are the sum total of all our parts. To be able to display several facets of our background in a colorful symbol is a powerful self-recognition tool and great self-esteem booster.
POSTED JAN. 5, 1999
Alma, white lesbian <pridewks@seacove.net>, Kempner, Tx
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THE QUESTION:
R568a: Why do many black men I see wear wet towels on their heads to cool off? I have not noticed members of other racial groups doing this. It seems they carry the towels around on hot days for this exact purpose. Is that true?
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
Julie H., 19 white female, MO
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THE QUESTION:
R568: A friend recently discovered his Hispanic heritage. He was adopted as an infant. Unfortunately, his adoptive parents were prejudiced against Hispanic people, so now my friend, who thought he was French, has an inner turmoil. I want to help, but don’t know how. Any ideas?
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
Honey Bee <penn-tex@swbell.net>

ANSWER 1:
Find out where the “inner turmoil” comes from. The adoptee was raised with the cultural heritage of French origin – thus his attitudes, flavors and perhaps secondary language are French. The discovery of the genetic heritage is a wonderful surprise and opportunity to learn and/or experience another cultural heritage, but I don’t see how this would automatically change his “cultural heritage.”

I love and live to learn of as many cultures as possible. By the blessing of living in the San Francisco Bay Area, I am exposed to an internationally diverse community. I consider myself a student of all people. To discover another history, flavors, customs, political/religious attitudes and language is a privilege that all Americans have available to them on a daily basis. Thus the original question – where does the “inner turmoil” come from. Perhaps your friend is dealing with his parents’ prejudice, or perhaps he feels guilty for participating in the racism.
POSTED JAN. 27, 1999
MamaRosa, 40, San Francisco Bay Area , CA
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THE QUESTION:
R567: Why do so many black Americans call themselves African Americans? Given the horrors occurring every day in Africa, the butchery and the genocide (read Out of America by Keith Richburg, a black author, as well as your daily papers), why anybody would claim allegiance to Africa (which country, by the way) is beyond my understanding. Can someone answer this without resorting to the tired rhetoric that I must be a racist?
POSTED DEC. 27, 1998
G.P. Axe <gpax@spacestar.net>, St Paul, MN

ANSWER 1:
We are now labeled as “African Americans” because it is our place of origin. Just as you have Irish Americans (from Ireland), Asian Americans (from Asia), Latin Americans (from South America), and so on. As far as which country we would would claim allegiance to, for the most part, only the region of ancestry is known, because orchestrated practices by slave traders/owners were implemented to separate the slaves who were from the same villages, break up families and stifle communication. These tactics, as well as others, throughout the years led to the almost complete breakdown of our ancestrial history, culture and true sense of origin. I prefer the term “Black American.” I am a black man, just as you are a white man. We (society) so often have associated black with negative or evil connotations (i.e. Websters Dictionary) that we don’t embrace the beauty of it. Mind you, we are not “black” in color per se, but we are of many shades and hues. In the words of the infamous James Brown, “I’m Black and I’m Proud!!”
POSTED DEC. 30, 1998
Shawn, black male <smoore15@aol.com>, Baltimore, MD

FURTHER NOTICE:
It appears you take a very short view of world history. The same horrors you speak of in modern-day Africa could apply equally to Europe, Asia or any other part of the world, depending upon what time frame in history you choose to highlight. Because Europeans were at one time savage barbarians living in caves in no way distracts from the justifiable pride these groups feel in their heritage. African Americans likewise take pride in their heritage when viewing the larger historical perspective that includes much to be proud of originating from Africa. If it appears to you that perhaps we blacks make too much of our heritage (such as referring to ourselves as African American), it is in reaction to the tendency of others to belittle Africa’s contribution to civilization through either malice or ignorance.
POSTED DEC. 30, 1998
S.F. black, male <sfinley@wans.net>, Naperville , IL

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Civilization started in Africa. Science started in Africa. Most believethe human race started in Africa. The peoples of Africa created the great pyramids and all the architecture of Egypt. The peoples of Africa mapped the seas and the stars. I am proud to be descended from those mighty peoples. That there are problems in that continent today does not take away from the greatness of the past, or the potential for its future. Also, are you ashamed to be associated with a country (the United States) that participated in the genocide of its native inhabitants? Are you ashamed to be associated with a country that imported and exploited human beings for slave labor? Are you ashamed to be associated with a country that interred its own citizens and confiscated their properties without cause? There is good and bad in the past and present of every country and continent.
POSTED DEC. 30, 1998
S.G.D., 23, African American, Oakland, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Many African countries are experiencing internal turmoil, but the entire continent is not devoid of governmental or economic structure. Look at a few prosperous nations like Botswana, Ghana, Nigeria and South Africa. Why shouldn�t blacks embrace �African American� as a means to identify themselves? African societies, in all their diverse offerings, have influenced the civilization we live in today. Also, the “butchery and genocide” you speak of is a result of European imperialism. Rwanda�s tensions between the Hutus and the Tutsis has a pre-colonial context, but its problem was perpetuated by European colonialists. Like me, many war- torn African peoples are undergoing a struggle. All African Americans are also under a struggle due to hundreds of years of systematic oppression. There is no shame in being true to Africa; its history and present condition are filled with positive bearings. You simply have to be cognizant of them.
POSTED APRIL 7, 1999
Yantee, 19, African American male <neufvilley@kenyon.edu>, Boston, MA
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THE QUESTION:
R566: To white people: What do you think is the difference between “racism,” “prejudice” and “bigotry”? Or, do you not think there is a difference?
POSTED DEC. 27, 1998
R.G., black female, 26, Richmond, VA

ANSWER 1:
As far as I can tell, there really is not much of a difference among racism, bigotry and prejudice. It is a distinction without a difference; they all carry negative connotations. To call one a bigot or a racist is a derogatory comment, and it is directed at a person to show that he/she is biased and is partial in his/her thinking. If you really want to go into the semantics about each definition, I am sure you can thumb through ol’ Websters. I would rather be prejudiced than a racist or bigot.
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
Jonk, 33, white male, West Palm Beach, FL

FURTHER NOTICE:
In my experience, racism is like Hitler. It means that I think someone is less human than me, less capable than me because they are not white. If I were a racist, I would know it because I would consciously believe racist ideas. Racism has a particular history in the United States. In my experience, it mostly means white-on-black oppression. To me, racial prejudice is having stereotypes about people because of their race and believing the stereotype is true, even when you don’t have any proof to back it up or even if you have an experience that shows it’s not true. I think bigotry is a really strong racial prejudice, one that I insist on having regardless of what I see or experience around me. It is hatred that has attached itself to race, or religion, or some other difference. It is a very scary and violent thing.
POSTED DEC. 29, 1998
Sarah R., 34, female <sross@pond.net>, Eugene, OR

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I’ve always assumed the words meant pretty much the same, and have used them, and heard them used, interchangeably. Lately I’ve been told there is a difference (i.e. minorities can be bigots, but not racists.) Is it really worthwhile to quibble over what we call it? Maybe it’s just a matter of the old cliche about Eskimos having more than 100 words for snow: To us in the warmer areas, snow is just snow. To those who live with it on a day-by-day basis, there are obvious, visible differences between different kinds. (But it melts down to the same thing in the end, in any case.)
POSTED DEC. 29, 1998
Colette, white female <inkwolf@earthlink.net>, Seymour, WI

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I have recently been re-educated about these terms, racism being that inequity built into the often Caucasian-biased infrastructure of society, prejudice being how one is predisposed to a person dependent upon the stereotypes of one’s demographics, and bigotry being an individual’s predisposition to wield his prejudices. The second two will always exist, as they are individual characteristics. Working toward a lessening of the first will in the long term reduce the latter two.
POSTED DEC. 29, 1998
Brian, 31, German Caucasian male <riversol@yahoo.com>, Horsham, PA

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
There is no difference. Ignorance has many names, but still comes down to the same thing.
POSTED DEC. 29, 1998
M.B., white, 28, Detroit , MI

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I don’t know the precise Webster’s definitions, but I use the words to mean the following: A racist is one who allows his racial stereotypes to affect his judgment about a specific person or situation. By that definition, in a society as racially polarized as ours, everyone has been a racist at some point. As a hypothetical example, if we both turned on the TV news to see a white cop hitting a black suspect with a billy club, we might have widely different initial reactions. To me, it might appear an appropriate use of force to secure a dangerous suspect. To you, it might be just another example of police brutality. I don’t think it is possible or even desirable to attempt to reconcile these disparate initial emotional reactions, but the significance of our varying perspectives should be negligible by the time the second blow is applied. I guess what I’m saying is that, in this example, the racism (for the white observer) is giving the benefit of the doubt to the cop. Continuing to defend the cop even if he continues to beat the suspect long after he is helpless (a la Rodney King) is a sin far worse than racism – and that brings us to bigotry. A bigot is one who allows his racial stereotypes as a justification for a blanket judgment. Whereas a racist might say “Obviously only a small portion of blacks are criminals, but if I saw a cop chasing a black man, I’d probably assume he was guilty,” a bigot would say “Obviously not all blacks are criminals, but enough are that I don’t like them.” Bigots are a dangerous breed, and can usually be identified by a tendency to use racial epithets in the plural sense.

As unfortunate as racism is and as volatile as bigotry is, they are only modes of thought and receive the same Constitutional protection as any other set of opinions. Prejudice, however, is a different matter. Prejudice I would describe as the tendency to act based on racist or bigoted impulses. Or, more specifically, to treat people differently based upon judgments of them as members of a group rather than individuals. It is in all occasions impolite; in most occasions, immoral; and in many occasions, illegal. Prejudice you would think of as being the most hurtful because it sometimes involves a financial element (e.g. not getting a job or college admission because of your race) but bigotry and racism especially are far more pervasive, and it wouldn’t surprise me if they are a greater weight on the psyche. I hope this viewpoint has been helpful to you, and I would be interested in seeing your definitions.
POSTED DEC. 29, 1998
Mark, white male, 31, Alexandria, VA
(Director’s Note: Y? would also be interested in receiving minorities’ views on this subject.)

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
To me, racism is the belief that one race is inherently superior to another for the sole reason of race. Prejudice is the generalization of a group by the attributes of a few, or even the majority. The difference is that one may be prejudiced against fast food restaurants because of what they see in one, but that obviously doesn’t make the person a racist. A racist may say that blacks/whites/Hispanics are inferior to their group as a whole, but admit there are a “few” exceptions to the rule. A bigot is someone who puts the prejudice into practice by enforcing, or believing, in a stereotype. This goes both ways for all races. Those who think that all whites are wealthy and spoiled forget about the “trailer trash.” Those who think all blacks are inferior or dumb forget about Clarence Thomas or Thomas Sowell.
POSTED DEC. 29, 1998
B, 23, white male, Kokomo, IN

FURTHER NOTICE 7:
These words are similar. Racism is specific to race; bigotry could apply to race and ethnicity; prejudice could apply to race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientatio and age. To me, racism and prejudice deal with beliefs people have, which they may or may not act upon. Bigotry implies action. Many white people are racists without realizing it. Members of the KKK are bigots.
POSTED DEC. 29, 1998
B. Hale, white <halehart@aol.com>, Hartford, CT

FURTHER NOTICE 8:
I’ve always thought that racism was a particular form of prejudice (that is: pre-judging a person based on their race) and that racism and bigotry are synonymous. Racism is also a term that defines you as a person (as a racist), but you can be prejudiced and yet it only describes your opinions. Therefore, I would have to agree with the first comment – that I would rather be thought of as prejudiced than as a racist or a bigot because at least then people would think I was somewhat redeemable.
POSTED DEC. 29, 1998
M, 22, white male

FURTHER NOTICE 9:
Without resorting to the dictionary, here are the definitions I would give to each term. “Prejudice” is when you prefer one thing over another based on prior information. Note that the word is in part based on “prejudge.” So if you prefer a Ford over a Chevy, for instance, you are showing a prejudice for Ford. Prejudice is essentially neutral. “Racism” is the specific prejudice concerning “racial” groups. This would be preferring white people to black people, for instance. Now, consider that both terms are internal in nature, meaning that they do not require action to exist. “Bigotry” would be a blanket term for actions taken based on hateful prejudices, such as racism or homophobia. Just as all people practice discrimination based on their internal prejudices, racists practice bigotry. One set of terms is neutral without context, and the other set of terms is specific.
POSTED DEC. 29, 1998
John K., 25, white male <the-macs@geocities.com>, Cranford , NJ

FURTHER NOTICE 10:
As a black male, I believe the preceding posts adequately define racist and bigot, but I will add that bigots are also intolerant of opinions different from their own, and that bigotry and prejudice are close kinsman {prejudice can lead to bigotry}. That being said, most Americans, black, white or otherwise, are prejudiced, i.e. blacks are prejudiced to the cause of blacks, whites the cause of whites, Asians to Asians, etc. Prejudiced beliefs create an “invisible line/boundary of racial separation.” Everybody knows, but won’t speak it {unlawful common knowledge). For example, a black male may say to a white female, “We can work, worship,socialize together, even be friends. But (for societal reasons) you can never be my wife.” He is restricting himself from loving her (line), and preventing her from loving him back (boundary). He’s saying in effect, “You may step up to the line, but you can’t cross it”. A white male may do the same thing to a black female.

African Americans have been taught that “blacks should stick to their kind, whites to theirs,” and white Americans vice versa. Yet both races have been blind to the fact that while such doctrin may sound valid on the surface, underneath it teaches “racial separation.” In layman’s terms, it teaches prejudice, and no one is the wiser.

In my opinion, the only non-prejudiced people are those who do not let society’s biased beliefs place retrictions on their interations with other races, e.g. married interracial couples. I’m not advocating mixed marriage, but addressing the attitude/prejudice that prevents people from interacting with different races beyond a certain point. As long as the invisible line remains, there will always be racial strife.
POSTED JAN. 4, 1999
A.C., non-prejudiced black male
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THE QUESTION:
R565: I live in Japan now and have some questions concerning Japanese manners: Why do Japanese people feel the need to always compliment me on the fact that I can use chopsticks, and why do they say I must be fluent in Japanese simply because I can say the morning greetings? I would never say to a Japanese person, for example, “Wow, you can use a fork really well! Where did you learn to do that?” Also, conversely, why do the Japanese laugh when someone tries to speak their language? In North America, there is nothing ruder than to laugh at someone you know cannot speak the native language but who is trying his or her best. Yet in Japan, people laugh so much at my Japanese – even when it is correct – that I don’t want to speak it anymore. Why is that?
POSTED DEC. 22, 1998
Todd <tdbuk@hotmail.com>, Miyazaki, Japan

ANSWER 1:
The longer you are in Japan, the more you will learn that it is their way of interacting with you. Because of our racial and cultural tensions in the States, Americans’ sensitivity to actions and comments from people different from us is much higher than we realize. Just as you can read on this forum, many people think some races are over-sensitive to actions of other races and easily scream foul or racism. Well, other cultures feel that way about Americans in general. So you may be a bit over-sensitive to how they are treating you. As for the chopsticks, hey they are complimenting you, and as for speaking Japanese, your pronunciation is probably good, and they believe you know more than you do. Relax, and as many in Asia will tell you, “Don’t think too much”! You have an opportunity to become worldly being in Japan that most people who follow this forum would love to have. Enjoy.

Also, many people in Asian cultures are shy and often respond with laughter, even sometimes covering their mouth while they do so. And because you are a newcomer, you stick out like a square peg in a round hole and perhaps looks a little humorous. Good luck , hope you gain a lot living there.
POSTED DEC. 24, 1998
Dave, American in Taiwan <Gilstrap@ms13.hinet.net>, Taipei, Taiwan

FURTHER NOTICE:
I am not Japanese and have never been to Japan, but being from a “foreign” country living in America, I feel I can respond to this entry. I think what you are experiencing is basically “individual reaction” to something that is unusual to that person, not a reflection of the Japanese people as a whole. In fact, I believe Americans (individuals, that is) tend to make fun of “non-Americans” just as much as anyone else in any other country (I can vouch for plenty of times when my “dialect” and the way I tend to pronounce some words was a source of outright laughter to the person(s) I was speaking to). I’ve been to France and Italy and never experienced any ridicule when I tried to speak French or Italian (both of which I know very little), as opposed to what I experience in America when I’m speaking English (and “English” is my official language; just spoken differently from Americans).
POSTED DEC. 24, 1998
Trevor S., black Jamaican, 32 <tsteer@worldnet.att.net>, Ypsilanti, MI

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
In some Asian cultures, laughter can be a sign of embarrassment, similar to covering one’s mouth in the United States. Not sure about Japan. It could be the listeners are embarrassed for you because of butchered pronunciation.
POSTED DEC. 24, 1998
B. Hale <halehart@aol.com>, Hartford, CT

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I lived in Japan for four years and, so I know what you are describing, but I advise you to not let it bother you. Living in a foreign country has so many wonderful aspects that you should try to focus on those aspects and enjoy Japan – it’s an interesting country with many beautiful and friendly people. Having said that, let me try to answer your question. The Japanese, in general, are taught that their language and culture are unique in the world and that foreigners cannot possibly learn and understand them. Japanese people, especially in the smaller cities and countryside, are delighted to discover that you can use o-hashi (chopsticks) and speak a few words of Japanese. I think it would be the rare Japanese person that would compliment you with a sarcastic intent.
POSTED DEC. 24, 1998
Henry R., 41 <henry_richardson@hotmail.com>

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I see that with Chinese people, too. I think it is because most Asian people don’t normally think of non-Asians speaking “their” language or using chopsticks. This is probably due to the colonization or occupation of various Asian countries, where forgeiners refused or did not want to learn the language and/or customs of that country.
POSTED DEC. 24, 1998
C.C., Asian female, 19 <petitecosette@yahoo.com >, Kingston, Ontario, Canada

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I have lived in South Korea for over two and a half years and have experienced the same situations there. It may feel very frustrating sometimes, and you’ll hear it again and again, but don’t get angry or withdraw, especially from trying to speak Japanese. I think these Asian countries haven’t encountered many foreigners who are interested in learning their customs or language, so they respond as they do. Your Japanese friends are probably the best ones to practice speaking with … as they won’t laugh, and so you can build ability before trying it on others! Enjoy and celebrate the differences, and when you finally return to your home country and meet a foreign tourist or new immigrant, remember how you felt in their place.
POSTED DEC. 27, 1998
Rebekah <rebekahrogers@yahoo.com>, Melbourne, Vic.
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THE QUESTION:
R564: Why does it seem that so many people of the black race are so engulfed with their history? Don’t get me wrong, I think it is cool, but couldn’t some of that energy be used to make a more positive impression on the rest of society?
POSTED DEC. 22, 1998
Duane <rc10t@flash.net>, Belleville , MI

ANSWER 1:
I think blacks/African Americans are interested in their history because for so many years it has been distorted or denied. We are in a constant pursuit to find and understand our history, thus discovering ourselves. When I look in the printed media, and at a lot of TV shows, I’m constantly reminded of some of the negative images that are used to portray us. I have three sons. I have to teach them and nurture them to let them know they can achieve and be something other than a sports star. We have the capacity to be engineers and architects, just like the ones who built the pyramids in Egypt. We are smart, just like the the people of Timbuktu in Africa,where higher-learning was pursued. That is my reason for being interested in the history of blacks/African Americans.
POSTED DEC. 27, 1998
Charles, black male <clprice1@earthlink.net>, VA

FURTHER NOTICE:
I think the word “engulfed” is a bit too intense. I am 55 and have been “quite interested” in knowing more about my history since I was a lad. Having been introduced to the history of the “rest of society” and very little about ourselves motivates some of us to attempt to learn more about our ancestors. Some of my Caucasian friends can trace their family roots back many generations, but alas, the vast majority of blacks can only go so far. This is a sad state of affairs. Can you and others understand how important it is to know oneself through one’s ancestors? Even though there is indeed a “strong interest” for us to know more about who we are, I don’t think for the most part we’re engulfed. Oh, and about using more energy to make a more positive impression on the rest of society: We’ve been doing that since the first boatload, but the rest of society has paid little attention.
POSTED JAN. 18, 1999
Joe P., old geezer, black male, Tallahassee, Fl
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THE QUESTION:
R563: Why do blacks, especially women, tend to talk so much and so loudly at the movies? I’ve noticed that predominantly white audiences keep quiet.
POSTED DEC. 21, 1998
Emily, white female, 14 <Darrow25@aol.com>, Memphis , TN

ANSWER 1:
I have never noticed this. The people who I find talk during movies are people over 65 or so. A while ago I went to see Mother with Debbie Reynolds, and there was a pack of senior citizens in the row behind me. I wanted to strangle each and every one of them. They must have forgotten they were not at home, and no amount of shushing or dirty looks would stop them from discussing every little thing that went on in the movie. This was not the first time I’ve seen this.
POSTED DEC. 22, 1998
P.J., 40, white <civserv@yahoo.com>, San Jose, CA

FURTHER NOTICE:
There is no question that black audiences are inclined to make noise at movie theaters. I don’t say this as a complaint or criticism. When I was a teenager in New York, I often found it a lot of fun to watch an action or (especially) horror film with a predominantly black audience. They’d hoot, holle and yell wisecracks at the screen, and sometimes, the audience was more entertaining than the movies themselves! Now, this sort of activity would be very annoying if I were trying to watch a serious drama, but at a horror or action movie, it was not inappropriate. Why do many black people feel free to yell back at the screen, while most whites are inclined to sit still and listen quietly? I’m not sure, but the same styles are evident in churches, too. Whites in church tend to sit quietly in the pews, and listen intently to the preacher, while black churchgoers are much more vocal, and inclined to shout out agreement/disagreement with what they hear in a sermon.
POSTED DEC. 27, 1998
Astorian, 37, white male <Astorian@aol.com>, Austin, TX

FURTHER NOTICE:
I am African American, and I think it is funny when my people talk during the movie. Yes, it can be very annoying (because you have to rely on someone else to tell you what happened). But I am going to pose this question to my people and see just why we yell! Not all African Americans yell at movies, but those who do are very expressive.
POSTED JAN. 5, 1999
Shelly, black, female, 26, Chicago, IL
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THE QUESTION:
R562: What is the reason for the many oil-based hair-care products used by African Americans?
POSTED DEC. 18, 1998
Jackie, 40, Japanese/American <vegemate@yahoo.com>, Chicago, IL

ANSWER 1:
I’m not going to speak for the rest of the black women out there or anything, but after I wash my hair it is usually a little on the dry side, meaning too much of my head’s natural oils have been washed away. This may be because my hair has been “relaxed” (some chemical stuff they put in your hair at the hairdressers to make it straighter and subsequently easier to brush through). Anyway, the oil acts like lotion for my head and hair, making it soft and manageable while strengthening the strands, so I can run my fingers through it.
POSTED JAN. 18, 1999
Blackgrrl,18, CA
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THE QUESTION:
R561: Why do white women feel the need to ask a black woman, in public, “Is that your real hair?” I would not be so disrespectful as to ask a white woman, in public, if her breasts were real.
POSTED DEC. 18, 1998
Kenya, black female, Los Angeles, CA

ANSWER 1:
Ouch! Good point. I think this is associated with a stereotype regarding what hairstyles are “normal” (I hate that word) for black women. Many do not realize the work women of color go through for hairstyle. My hair is fine and brushes easily. I wash it, dry and brush and go to work. Friends have explained to me that most black women do not have that option because of their hair texture; there’s a lot more work involved. Subsequently, when seeing a black woman with a very nice hairdo, some assume she’s wearing a wig instead of having taken the time to style it herself or have it done. But, in either case, it’s a very personal issue, and I agree the question is very lacking in manners and tact.
POSTED DEC. 18, 1998
Alma, white lesbian <pridewks@seacove.net>, Kempner, TX

FURTHER NOTICE:
I have to admit I’ve been guilty of this. What usually prompts me to ask is hair length. It is my understanding that most black women are unable to obtain substantial hair length because of their hair’s texture. Therefore, when I see a black woman with long hair, I wonder if it’s one of those weaves you hear about.
POSTED JAN. 18, 1999
Erma P., married white female, Indianapolis , IN

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
As a white female, I have done this on several occasions. I thought it was OK. I definitely need to be educated. Are there any black women out there who have theories on this? Do you believe it’s because the hair looks too straight or long that we ask if it’s real? I’m just now finding out about how black women style their hair. I want to know more, but now I’m afraid to ask in person.
POSTED JAN. 27, 1999
Linda S., white female, 35, Myrtle Beach, SC

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Linda, you hit the nail on the head. Got a black girlfriend? Ask her! Communication educates.
POSTED FEB. 3, 1999
A.A.W., 43, black female <anabwi@aol.com>, Plantation, FL
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