General Diversity Questions 11-20

THE QUESTION:
GD20: How did Mother Nature come about? Was she the subject of some culture’s mythology, or did someone simply create her in a book?
POSTED JUNE 19, 1998
Brantley L., 34, white male <blott@mindspring.com>, Norcross, GA

ANSWER 1:
The Romans believed everything on earth was born from Mother Earth and Father Time. They had children, who had children, etc. Therefore, over the passage of time, Mother Earth has become Mother Nature, the mother of all of us.
POSTED AUG. 9, 1998
E. Jackson, 19, OH

FURTHER NOTICE:
The idea of an Earth-Mother has existed as long as written history and is evident in almost every culture since the Greek Gaia or the Celtic Dana. It was a common practice among the early spirit-worshipping peoples to asign identities to all the major forces that affected their lives and which they did not fully understand, such as the sun, the moon, the winds and the earth itself. These identities (“Gods”) had characteristics based on what little they did know. The sun was most often seen as male, as its warmth seemed to “fertilize” plants and help them grow. The earth, in turn, as it brought forth plants, food and nourishment, was seen as female by people who relied upon it to feed them – as they had relied upon their own mothers when they were infants.
POSTED NOV. 21, 1998
Agrivaine <agrivaine@yahoo.com>, Dublin, Ireland
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THE QUESTION:
GD19: Am I a curmudgeon because I believe people should speak plainly, and stop candy-coating our speech with all the Politically Correct terms?
POSTED JUNE 1998
Ray B., 40, white male, U.S. Navy (retired) <raynfran@bellsouth.net>
Summerville, S.C.

ANSWER 1:
There is a need for Political Correctness, but not to the extent of hampering communication. There are ways to speak plainly but not insultingly. It’s called politeness. I think it’s an important thing. Regardless of what someone thinks of me, I would rather they treated me politely. That gives me a chance to respond to them politely and let them get to know me as a person. That way, if the person has any prejudices about any group I might belong to, I get a chance to help that person see beyond them. Knowledge is the best remedy for prejudice, and without politeness there is no opportunity for that knowledge.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
Laura H., 22, female, Peoria, IL

FURTHER NOTICE:
These terms were invented to protect those with fragile egos from getting hurt. This is just an extension of “white lies.” Those people who tell the truth consistently often make more enemies than friends. I think it’s human nature to want to not be reminded of one’s shortcomings, real or not. Just try telling your wife/girlfriend how she really looks in that dress next time she asks.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, married white female, MD
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THE QUESTION:
GD18: Why does is seem to be OK for TV shows to make fun of Italians or the Irish or whomever, but that when it comes to making fun of Jews, it becomes a huge issue?
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
Ana B., 27, American, New Haven, CT

ANSWER 1:
If you think television is stereotyping/mocking one group more than another, that’s what you’ll inevitably see. But consider a recent episode of (I think) “Suddenly Susan” where one character lied to his sexy new girlfriend that he was Jewish so she would date him. He goes to her parents house and they are loud, crass, etc., the worst kind of Jewish stereotypes imaginable. I’ve heard “Seinfeld” described as a Jewish minstrel show, and who can forget “Saturday Nighit Live” and Mike Meyers’ obnoxious Linda Richman character – for a while this was the only overtly Jewish female on television, and she was played by a man! Also, consider Stan’s Jewish parents on “South Park” – one of the many comic stereotypes used on that show, though I find it the least offensive since everyone gets slammed on “South Park.”
POSTED JULY 22, 1998
Jewish guy, 38, Chicago, IL

FURTHER NOTICE:
The persecution of the Jews in World War II is looked upon by historians and the public as one of the greatest horrors in history. With that in mind, one would not imagine reviving the spirit of dehumanizing Jews, even in the form of simple jokes or comments.
POSTED AUG. 1, 1998
Roy L., 16 <ThinkingStar@yahoo.com>, Clarksville, TN

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I think there are very few ethnic groups comfortable with having themselves ridiculed on a constant basis. As an Irishman, I am perfectly comfortable with people taking the mickey out of my country, accent and culture, as it can often be quite funny. But when it becomes excessive, abusive or insensitive (such as when all Irishmen are portrayed as drunks and wife beaters) it does begin to annoy. The Jewish people (and I don’t want to seem like I’m pontificating here) have had a history that has been overly marred by racism and oppression. I think they have a right to be sensitive about the issue. When you make fun of people who do not, or cannot, appreciate your humor, it can often seem like a very cruel and ugly act.
POSTED AUG. 4, 1998
Agrivaine, Irish-Italian male <agrivaine@yahoo.com>, Dublin, Ireland

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
For the same reason it’s offensive to blacks. I guess some cultures are not as sensitive to race issues as others. I am Asian, and I think most of the jokes about us are funny. I guess it all depends on the person.
POSTED OCT. 9, 1998
Lisa, Seattle, WA

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
For the same reasons we can’t make fun of blacks: 1) they have a background of having many of their race killed or persecuted due to racism; 2) racism against blacks and Jews is as strong as ever in this country; 3) as a result of their continuing fear and persecution, they cannot be comfortable hearing any more negativity about their race (and who can blame them?); 4) of all the minority groups, who do you think has the most influence on what is shown on television? I think it is the Jewish people, due primarily to their money and connections in the industry, and the black people, due primarily to their sheer numbers in the United States.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, married to a Jewish man, 26, MD

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I don’t think any ethnic groups is free of stereotypical humor on television. Television, and the media in general, thrive on accentuating stereotypes and differences because those who control these mediums want to divide us in order to maintain their control. Stereotypes of all groups – Irish, Italians, French, English, Blacks, Jews, Latinos, you name the group – are constantly shown on television. If you ask people from any of these ethnic groups, you will find that everyone can point to something on television that is ethnically offensive.

It’s unforunately that in Calico’s response these same stereotypes are expressed. Contrary to popular belief, Jews do not control Hollywood, and blacks, who represent an estimated 13 percent of the U.S. population, have little if any influence as to what programs are shown on television. Corporate sponsorship plays the biggest role in what we see on television. It is to their advantage that stereotypical programming continues to be shown on television. The only way for us to stop this stereotypical programming is to speak out against it. Not just against stereotypical programming that affects one ethnic group, but against all the negative and divisive programming.
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
DredScott1857, 26, black male <madlocs1@juno.com>, New York , NY

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
Something I’ve noticed is that most modern comedians laugh at their own ethnic background, or any other thing they’re a part of (Jerry Seinfeld on Jews, Eddie Murphy on backs, Roseanna on fat people, etc.) I think people take it harder when the joke comes from a person who is not part of the joke’s ethnic group. As a Jew, a female, a teenager and many more things, I’ve never really been hurt by anything said about one of these aspects of myself.
POSTED FEB. 2, 1999
Yael B., 14, Jewish white female <xyz_il@yahoo.com>, Beer-sheva, Israel
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THE QUESTION:
GD17: My wife and I are always asked “Why don’t you have any children?” Since we do not want children, we explain to them why not. But they still do not understand, and think we are odd. Is this not a rude subject to question someone on?
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
Richard and Kim H., 30, Panama City, FL

ANSWER 1:
My wife and I deal with the same question. In our case we have both been married before. I’m 34 and my wife is 13 years older than me. The truth is that neither of us want kids. Call it selfish, but we are enjoying our life without kids. I have even told people we can’t have children, and with out skipping a beat it’s “What about adoption?” Some people just don’t understand how you can be complete without children. I am not on any cause or crusade, but it seems to me that a few years back people were concerned about a population explosion.
POSTED JULY 18, 1998
Doug, 34, Tallahassee, FL

FURTHER NOTICE:
My husband and I decided not to have children and when anyone asks why, I simply tell them we “just don’t have children” and leave it at that. There are many reasons married couples do not have children; infertility, physical/mental health problems, emotional problems, financial problems, career problems, etc..
POSTED JULY 20, 1998
Karen, 39, San Diego, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
It is rude to delve into others’ personal decisions unless you have a close relationship with them (and even then, tact would be nice). For some reason, the subject of children seems to have different rules. People talk about how other people raise their children, give unsolicited advice in grocery stores, rub the stomachs of pregnant women without invitation, etc. I realize that in small towns or neighborhoods, where everyone helps everyone out, that the whole community (village if you will) helps raise the children. This is not what I am talking about. For some reason, people seem puzzled by the idea that some people choose not to have children. I cannot think why, in this overpopulated world, anyone would want to encourage someone to have kids if they did not want to. I think some people are threatened by others’ ability to make non-conformist decisions, and find it easier to think such a decision must be a cover of some sort.
POSTED JULY 24, 1998
Tara, 24, single, childless <tarakennedy@yahoo.com>, Washington, DC

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I agree this is an over-personal question to ask a couple. Some friends of mine always used to respond to the question “When are you two going to have kids?” with “Oh, after we consummate our marriage.” Which is the answer that most obviously points out the inherent rudeness of the question.
POSTED AUG. 1, 1998
D. Sy, 32, single non-parent, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I have the same problem. I think it’s because people are brought up to believe having children is the “right” thing to do. Religion makes it clear that it is our purpose to have children. Those who have kids now have their entire life revolving around the children; since it has become such a focal point in their life, they can’t help but talk “kids” to others. Our family keeps bringing it up out of their own desires to have granchildren, not because we are living an incomplete live without kids. I live in a neighborhood with five other homeowners, all of whom have kids. One of them had the nerve to ask me at the last civic association meeting when I was going to get around to it. When I look at people with kids, all I see is two (or more commonly today one) parent(s) sacrificing their freedom to have these kids. Then they complain “We’re broke all the time,” “We can’t go out any more, it’s too hard to find a sitter,” “We don’t spend any time alone together any more,” or “We’re so stressed and overworked trying to make enough money to give our kids what they need (they don’t really need a new toy every week, do they?)” Maybe someday we’ll decide to do it, but in the meantime I am enjoying life too much.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, married white female, MD
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THE QUESTION:
GD16: What is the real meaning of the word “schmuck”? I’ve heard it just means “idiot,” and then I’ve heard it means something really, really bad.
POSTED JUNE 15, 1998
K.B., 28, Los Angeles, CA

ANSWER 1:
As far as I know, schmuck is a Yiddish word that means “large penis.” Putz, on the other hand, means “little penis.” I once asked my grandmother (a longtime speaker of Yiddish) if this was true, but getting an 80-plus-year-old Jewish woman to use the word penis can be difficult. She did smile and blush and refuse to answer, however, so I assumed if I wasn’t exactly right, it was close enough.
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
Mark B., Jew. <bakum@bigfoot.com>, San Francisco, CA

FURTHER NOTICE:
A schmuck is literally a penis. A putz is the tip of the penis. Schmuck has come to mean “idiot” and putz a “total idiot.”
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
A.B., 40, Jewish, Baltimore, MD

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
It’s Yiddish and means “penis.” It derives from a German word meaning “ornament” or “jewelry” (Jews were very ironic when it came to language). Like the English word “prick,” it soon became an insulting word to use for a person.
POSTED JUNE 27, 1998
John, Jewish background, Chicago, IL

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
“Schmuck” actually means “jewelry” in Yiddish. From that, it came to mean “family jewels.”
POSTED JUNE 27, 1998
Ilya, 22, Eastern European <ishambat@us.oracle.com>, Redwood Shores, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
It is a Yiddish word that means “foreskin.” The foreskin is removed by circumcision and is viewed as ” unclean.” By extension, schmuck means worthless, or useless.
POSTED JULY 1, 1998
St. Wishnevsky <wish@nr.infi.net>, Wnston-Salem, NC

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
According to The Joys of Yiddish, “schmuck” can refer to the penis (“the family jewels”), and by inference, an idiot. In German, “schmuck” means decoration (hence “the family jewels” above). Knowing both the German and Yiddish usages can lead to interesting thought-pictures when someone says, “Weinachtenschmucken” – Christmas decorations! (Beware – “shikse,” the Yiddish word for a female Gentile, means prostitute in German. Don’t call a German-speaking woman this. Can you imagine the amount of trouble this has caused?)
POSTED SEPT. 5, 1998
J.D. 46, “shikse” from Miami, TX
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THE QUESTION:
GD15: Why does it seem that the majority of smokers throw their cigarette butts out of their car windows as opposed to using their ash tray?
POSTED JUNE 13, 1998
Jill Z., Sparks, NV

ANSWER 1:
As a former smoker, I have to say it would be simple thoughtlessness. The average smoker doesn’t even use the ashtray in their car. When most people smoke in their cars, they open the window for ventilation. It is just easier to throw ashes out the window, too.
POSTED JUNE 26, 1998
Hilary, 20, white <hwisler@eagle.cc.ukans.edu>, Lawrence, KS

FURTHER NOTICE:
Let’s face it, smoking isn’t the cleanest habit. And why dirty up one’s car with cigarette butts? Besides, it’s too hard to drive and put out a cigarette, anyway. Maybe they care about the cleanliness of the world around them about as much as they care about the cleanliness of their own bodies. Sorry to sound so hostile, but I cannot think of any other explanation.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, non-smoker, MD
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THE QUESTION:
GD14: Why is it that many people with children seem oblivious to the rights of the rest of us – from not quieting their kids on planes and in movie theaters to demanding censorship in the media?
POSTED JUNE 8, 1998
Emma, Los Angeles, CA

ANSWER 1:
As a parent who avidly opposes ratings and doesn’t take her children to movie theaters, I’m probably not in your category. However, I’ll take my kids on a plane, and while I actively try to keep them occupied and “pleasant,” I expect them to be, well, children. I expect babies to cry and kindergartners to be loud. Why don’t people, in general, respect children as if they were real people?
POSTED JUNE 9, 1998
Donna, Austin, TX

FURTHER NOTICE:
The inability to keep children quiet in certain places, in my experience, stems from either insanity or incompetence. Insanity, in that I erred in bringing kids to a place where their short attention spans would result in social disaster, or incompetence, in that in some situations I simply wasn’t able to provide what they needed. I can’t speak for parents who demand censorship; I’m not one of those. I guess I’m not sure there’s a “right”‘ to quiet plane flights or a “right” to a noisy-child-free environment, but to the extent that you desire one, I’d encourage you to speak – with as much understanding of the situation as possible – to the parent of the kids bothering you. Sometimes, parents can use the desires of others to regain control of a situation. I guess I’d also encourage people to think of children less as nuisances and more as fellow human beings, who are smarter and more perceptive than you might think.
POSTED JUNE 9, 1998
Andrew S., 34, parent of two kids, ages 3 and 1 <ziptron@hotmail.com>, Huntington, NY

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
It wasn’t until I had kids that I really noticed how insensitive our society is to the whole idea of common courtesy. My wife and I try to raise our kids to be respectful and polite, and by all accounts, we do a pretty good job. We don’t take our kids where they don’t belong because it’s a tremendous stress on them, and we expect that in certain places, kids will be exposed to things we don’t want them to be exposed to yet. You haven’t lived until you sit down in a family restaurant only to hear some jerk three tables over loudly describe last night’s sexual conquest in terms that would make a longshoreman blush, or suddenly hear a rap song on the P.A. that’s so blue you want to crawl under the table. And to top it off, it seems it’s everybody’s “right” to be offensive. Everyone also seems to believe that kids are little robots with switches to turn off bad behavior. My kids, as wonderful as they are, have their moments. And no matter how hard we try, they just can’t help but create a mess. Sorry. Everyone claims they want our future generations to grow up healthy and well-adjusted, but society makes it very difficult to do. Sorry your rights are violated, but we’re doing the best we can.
POSTED JUNE 10, 1998
Peter P., two kids, 3 and 8 <PPROUT20@aol.com>, Redford, MI

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
There are some things you learn only through parenthood, and one of them is that the crying and screaming of children on airplanes has very little to do with anyone being inconsiderate of other passengers. Changing cabin pressures, particularly during the first 20 minutes of lift-off and last 20 minutes of descending, cause severe inner-ear pains in many children – something I did not learn until recently when I took my three-year-old for a three-hour flight. Such situations, for many parents, are unavoidable. Having remained single until I was 36, I fully understand the annoyance of having a fine dining experience interrupted by unruly kids. So, I do not take my child into a posh French restaurant, nor do I take her to a movie not geared toward toddlers. And I do not expect society to censor anything for my child. But kids are going to be kids, and if humanity intends to perpetuate the species, we all must tolerate them.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
B.T.M., 40, NJ

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Just as there are people who shouldn’t have pets, there are people who shouldn’t have kids. As a parent, I wouldn’t dream of taking my three-year-old to a movie other than a children’s movie, where the audience should be made up of parents and children who understand the restlessness of youngsters. As far as censorship, I’m against it, but there is a certain amount of common sense required to live in a civilized society. I think it will become a non-issue as soon as everyone realizes they are not the only beings on the planet.
POSTED JUNE 26, 1998
Dennis O., 23 <Musicpants@angelfire.com>, Elmira, NY

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Toddlers travel on airplanes because their grandparents love to get their hands on them and shower them with kisses and praise. Unfortunately, they are high-energy creatures who loathe confinement. And they feel very uninhibited about expressing how they feel about a situation. It takes a lot of effort to keep toddlers entertained for six hours in an area the size of a box.
POSTED JUNE 28, 1998
Mike M., 37 <amigan@ihot.com> San Mateo, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I am amazed sometimes at some parents who don’t creatively try to quiet or entertain their children in certain situations. As a father of two, I definitely pick and choose the locations I take my children, simply because some people are so insensitive to kids’ behaviors. But don’t get me wrong, I got a parcel of time the other day and went to see The Truman Show, and I was floored at how many young couples with a single child there were in that theater allowing their children to mess up my moviegoing experience! They pushed it way further than I would have. We do have very high expectations of our children, and expose them to long periods of quiet time – our church service is three hours long. So we challenge, and teach our children with experiences that help them in other social situations. If parents lead a life free of boundaries, their children learn the same behaviors. They will grow up to be louder, more demanding and less caring, in my opinion.
POSTED JUNE 30, 1998
S. Lee, father of two kids, Denver, CO

FURTHER NOTICE 7:
If a child is throwing a temper tantrum, it it too much to ask that the parent take the child out of the room until the situation can be handled? Try putting the shoe on the other foot: If an adult were sitting a few tables down and screaming at the top of his or her lungs, would you not ask him or her to be removed from the room? Out of respect for other patrons, please remove your child when he is crying.
POSTED OCT. 30, 1998
R.Y., 37, white male, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 8:
In response to Peter P., I would like to point out that having and raising children is a privilege, as I am sure this father knows. I agree that people should certainly take into consideration the company they’re in when speaking in a loud conversational tone, and that music should be selected to please a wide range of people, including children, in public places. However, you knew the nature of society when you chose to have children, and you chose to have them anyway. Many of the things parents complain about are things in which they engaged before they had children. I think that is the real question here – why do people with kids expect all of society to revise their moral code around their children? Children are real people, yes, but they’re a minority and a temporary portion of the population. Democracy dictates that the majority be served – most of our country is adult, and the public forum is therefore laden with adult content. Your children are your responsibility, not society’s.
POSTED NOV. 16, 1998
D.M.M., white, female, single, 28, no kids <donikam@hotmail.com>, Charleston, SC

FURTHER NOTICE 9:
The reality is that kids have to go places. You can’t keep them locked up until they’re 12. Yes, children do have shorter attention spans and are immature. That is what being a kid is all about. I remember absolutely hating the grocery store, but I was six and my mother couldn’t leave me home alone. Most parents do the best job they can while keeping their own sanity. They have enough to worry about with training their children than to have to worry about overly sensitive bystanders. (FYI I do not have children of my own, but I do have four nephews.)
POSTED NOV. 16, 1998
M.A.M., 25, Atlanta , GA

FURTHER NOTICE 10:
People who have kids do it because they believe they are doing a wonderful thing not only for themselves, but for the world around them. They feel anyone who does not agree with them on the wonderful qualities of kids doesn’t know how to live with others. Some parents are so accustomed to the whining and crying their kids make that they think it’s normal. Unfortunately, they will never learn that it simply is not normal or acceptable; trying to talk to them simply invokes defensive anger.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, married white female, MD

FURTHER NOTICE 11:
It is exactly because of people (obviously childless themselves) who are so terribly judgmental of what parents do in society when with their children that we often prefer to stay home than cope with the stress of what “other people” think. Children are exactly that. Like us, they have their moments, but not being old enough to understand our self-imposed “rules” of society, they do not always reserve their “impolite” questions or tantrums for a more private place. If your child is being naughty and you don’t smack them, you have people muttering “that child should be smacked.” If you smack your child, people shake their heads with disapproval. We can’t win. Either ignore behavior you don’t like or move away, but please don’t criticize. The majority of us are wishing the ground would open up as it is!
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Tiffany B., 33, mother of four <Burbunch@bigpond.com>, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
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THE QUESTION:
GD13: Why is it that many Americans are obsessed with labels? They are very inventive about avoiding saying something out loud. I mean, the musical Tommy didn’t tell about a “hearing-impaired, speech-impaired, visually challenged Caucasian minor.”
POSTED MAY 14, 1998
D. v.Kooten, 25, white heterosexual male <ktulu@flash.a2000.nl>, Purmerend, NH

ANSWER 1:
To me, deaf, dumb and blind tend to be terms implying totality, while hearing/speech/visually impaired would include those who are partially deaf, wear hearing aids, stutter, wear strong glasses, etc., a larger, more inclusive group. Words based on visual cues tend to be subjective and may vary with the observer: White, boy, fat, bald, etc. “Minor” generally means someone under the legal age for some activity, whereas “boy” generally means young male (how old before he might be insulted and considered himself a young adult is again subjective).
POSTED MAY 17, 1998
DykeOnByke, flirting-impaired lesbian <DykeOnByke@aol.com>, Southfield, MI
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THE QUESTION:
GD12: Is it possible for a 37-year-old man who has served half his life in a penitentiary and is now being released to live a productive life? What would it take on an emotional and spiritual level to take him through the transitional phase?
POSTED MAY 12, 1998
Mary R <Rukz2@glade.net>, Teague, TX

ANSWER 1:
I have a friend who spent 12 years in prison (from 18 to 30 years of age.) Upon release, he never wanted to return to jail, got a menial job and is now a respected member of our town.
POSTED JUNE 9, 1998
Jen S., jscott@access.aic-fl.com, Argyle, FL

FURTHER NOTICE:
A lot depends on why he was in the penitentiary. Also, what was his upbringing like? Did he grow up in a severely dysfunctional family? Or only a normally dysfunctional family? What education level does he have? What has he done for himself while in the pen? Does he have any chemical dependency problems? Is he a spiritual being? Yes, a person can become a productive member of society, but you haven’t given us enough information.
POSTED JUNE 15, 1998
M.C.T., 38,white, Long Beach, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Yes, you can live a productive life again. I am a 20-year-old female who has just spent the last two years of my life in and out of jail. The longest time I did was eight months. Although that does not compare to the time this man did I can empathize with the things he is going through. Remember that anything is possible through God and that it’s not over till it’s over. I am now back in school at Dekalb Tech in Georgia. I take GED classes during the day and work a very good job in the evenings and on weekends. A person who’s been in jail should try to surround himself or herself with positive people who also want something out of life. Trust me, I had to learn that the hard way. Right now I am sure it seems to this man as if society is not that accepting, but please, he should not give up. Keep trying!
POSTED OCT. 30, 1998
Kamilah J., 20, black female <kamilahjj@hotmail>, Jonesboro, GA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
To Jen S.: I’m concerned that your response may imply that the only option is a menial job. Nathan McCall came up through “the hood” and did Federal time for armed robbery. When he got out, he went through college, and at last word was a reporter for The Washington Post and had written a book about his experiences (Makes Me Wanna Holler). Perhaps one’s hope for a successful life after prison depends on ability, drive, endurance and support systems, as well as luck.
POSTED JAN. 6, 1999
Al, 59, male <alarose@ncwc.edu>, Rocky Mount, NC
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THE QUESTION:
GD11: It seems to me that the great majority of humor depends on someone’s misfortune. Jokes seem to be, without exceptions I know of, in need of a “fall guy.” Is there a sociological history for this, or is it just a way to show relief at not being the poor unfortunate who slips on the banana peel?
POSTED MAY 12, 1998
Jim R. <junkyard@northweb.com>, Waddington, NY

ANSWER 1:
Laughter is supposed to serve several purposes, including relieving stress and communicating those feelings to other people. I guess picking on someone is just an easy way to create those stresses needed to make you laugh, such as fear or embarrassment. There are many many other types of jokes/humor. I often like bizarre and silly humor, for example ‘”Monty Python.” I also find sarcasm funny, sometimes aimed at a fall-guy and sometimes not (for example “Frasier” and “Friends.” I guess somehow these must create stresses in me that I release by laughing. However, it must be deep in my subconscious because I don’t feel stressed!
POSTED MAY 15, 1998
Beth, Edinburgh, United Kingdom

FURTHER NOTICE:
Mark Twain said that pain is the true source of all humor. In children’s humor (i.e. the Home Alone movies) it is generally the villain who is the victim of the pain: In those cases I believe the humor comes from the sense of power the children feel, in seeing a child able to fight and resist the all-powerful forces of adulthood. In more mature humor it is usually the heroes who suffer, like Charlie Chaplin or Charlie Brown … people with whom we empathize because the same pain has happened, or could happen, to us. The clown suffers our pain for us and shows us the ridiculous side of it, which we can’t see for ourselves when we are suffering. That is humor.
POSTED MAY 17, 1998
Colette (cartoonist) <inkwolf@earthlink.net>, Seymour, WI

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
The closest thing to humor in the animal kingdom is the “laughter” of tree monkeys when another monkey falls. The consequences of such a fall are usually quite dire for the falling monkey. This kind of humor is probably an amalgam of the recognition of risks inherent in living, the relief that you yourself have not been affected by these threats and the emotional context of the whole situation, which demands some emotional response.
POSTED JUNE 26, 1998
Donnette
Los Angeles , CA

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
We laugh at what we fear to make our fear smaller and somehow more tolerable. We laugh at things we find painful or sad so that we can cope with our pain or sorrow. We laugh at the pratfalls and foolishness of others, because we recognize our own fallibility. We laugh because sometimes it is better to laugh than it is to cry or feel despair over our all-too-frequent inhumanity. We laugh because we are human.
POSTED SEPT. 1, 1998
Colleen, 51, Canadian female <micospen@uniserve.com>, Quesnel, British Columbia

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I suspect it goes far deeper than that. There is a useful concept I have employed a number of times when “theorizing” on humor with friends and the like, and that concept is of “The Humor Box.” When something is inside The Humor Box, no matter what it is, it can be funny – as long as it is contained in this reality-divorced little space,absolutely anything can be funny (not necessarily is funny, mind you – but can be funny). Many people have reported to me a distinct resonance with this concept, but they had never conceived of it in such a way. The notion that the humor concept in question does not harm or otherwise touch anybody in the real world is what makes for the ability to place anything into the box. This is what underlies certain types of really out-there “gross” humor. There’s a lot more to be said, but space is tight so let’s just say: Humor is a “Very Large Subject.” Unfortunately researchers tend not to get (or even ask for) grants to study this subject closer (being wrongly assessed as “frivolous”), so we will have to continue theorizing on it for the time being.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
R. M. <cgi@cpeq.com>, Brandon, FL
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