General Diversity Questions 1-10

THE QUESTION:
GD10: Why are white males more than any group likely to commit crimes like sexual assault, child molestation and sodomy?
POSTED MAY 6, 1998
Angela, 25, Toledo, OH

ANSWER 1:
White men commit more cases of forcible rape because whites make up the largest racial group in the United States. In 1994, whites made up about 83 percent of the population (1). Whites accounted for about 56 percent of forcible rape arrests in 1995 (2). Comparing the percentages, whites are a good bit under-represented in regard to rape perpetrators. As such, it would probably be incorrect to state that white males, as a group, are more likely to commit rape. Concerning race and pedophilia, a speaker at my medical school said that our local percentages roughly reflect the general composition of the state’s population. Unfortunately, I cannot site a source for where you could find more information. The Crime in the United States report (2) cited above doesn’t explicitly state what qualifies as “other sex offenses,” so I don’t know what we can accurately draw from their numbers (whites made up 63 percent of “other sex offenses”). Hope this helps, and please check out the data: (1) http://www.census.gov/population/estimates/nation/intfile3-1.txt; (2) http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/crimeus/crimeus.htm
POSTED JULY 27, 1998
Dale P., 23, white male, Columbi , SC

FURTHER NOTICE:
The simple answer is that I do not believe they are. I believe we will find that a great many mothers and female caretakers of children engage in much abuse of children. The difference is the abuse is hidden.
POSTED AUG. 13, 1998
Elaine C. <eoder1@compulinx-net.net>, Columbus, OH

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
To Angela: Where did you get your information that whites make up the majority of criminals in those areas? If you live where there are more whites vs. other races or nationalities, then you will hear more about whites commiting the crimes and vice versa if you live where there are more blacks or Asians or other nationalities. It doesn’t help society to generalize about races that way. There are criminals in all facets of society.
POSTED SEPT. 11, 1998
Joseph, 25, white male <fuerte24@yahoo.com>, Escondido, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I can offer several reasons why males are more likely to be the ones recognized for sexual deviance: 1) Simple biology has made it much more difficult for women to get pleasure from these types of acts (imagine an adult woman trying to have sex with a 10- or 12-year-old, boy for example. It just doesn’t work). 2) Women are socialized differently than men. Women are taught to make themselves look attractive to lure men and then work to care for the resulting offspring. Men are encouraged to focus on “getting laid” al ot more. It is this same socialization that has most women hating pornography while most men like it. Men who have trouble in their pursuit of women and the resulting sexual gratification feel they must have sexual gratification in some form; most women don’t have to chase men. The men turn to fulfulling their sexual needs elsewhere and usually pick someone/something that offers little or no resistance to their advances. Hence, child molestation, in some cases homosexual behavior, bestiality and so on.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, married white female, MD

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Sex crimes have less to do with erotica and more to do with issues of power and control. Male sexual aggression is prevalent in all cultures and is therefore not exclusive to white men. In general, we raise boys to “control” their emotions and to be inwardly “strong” and relatively unexpressive. The most common theme among sex offenders is that they 1) have a feeling of being rejected by society 2) experience a sense of uncontrollable rage 3) have a disconnect from reality and are extremely fantasy-oriented 4) have addictions to chemicals, pornography, 5) were themselves victims of abuse and intensive manipulation, or are 6) true serial sociopaths.

Without intensive therapy, most offenders do not view their offenses as “crimes,” and most repeat. This is true from priests to pedophiles. Sex with a non-consensual party, especially a child, usually happens as a result of manipulation and persuasion on the part of the offender. These are extremely closeted behaviors that allow the perpetrator the illusion of power, control and temporary gratification. Keep in mind that women do offend as well, but certainly not as frequent. Our children are in trouble because we are a society that is simply not comfortable with educating openly and candidly about the realities of sex and sexuality.
POSTED DEC. 2, 1998
Dee W. black female <westde@hiram.edu>, Cleveland, OH

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Your question assumes that this is indeed the case. Blanket statement/questions need to have facts behind them. You also list “sodomy” as a crime – which it is not in most states (Georgia’s statute was just ruled unconstitutional), Canada and Europe. “Sodomy” is most often used as a code word for homosexuality and then is linked (as Calico’s response does) to other deviant behavior, such as child molestation and bestiality. Molestation and incest happen in every ethnic/racial group – it may just be that “white males” are more visible to you than other groups. There’s still the perception out there that black men “prey” on white women, which is as nonsensical as the “gay recruitment” theory.
POSTED DEC. 2, 1998
Michael, 37, gay white male <txmichael@worldnet.att.net>, Houston, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
In response to the wording of Angela’s question: I would not include sodomy in a list with sexual assault and child molestation. Both sexual assault and child molestation are acts that have victims – they are crimes perpetrated by people wrongfully exerting their power over the less powerful. Sodomy, outlawed in some states but not in others, can take place between heterosexuals and homosexuals who are consenting adults. Also, Calico’s depiction of homosexual behavior as deviant, as a need for “frustrated straight men” (forgive me if my assumption is incorrect) to fulfill their sexual appetites grossly belittles the loving, monogamous relationships many homosexuals successfully maintain despite the general lack of support found in American society. I know of no straight men who turn to other men for sexual gratification simply due to being unlucky with women. Child molestation, bestiality and homosexual behavior cannot and should not be equated. As a homosexual, I have many behaviors not any different from “heterosexual behaviors.” If the reference was to sex between two men who may love each other, it could not be more different from the other aforementioned crimes.
POSTED DEC. 2, 1998
J.B., gay male <beau_mec@rocketmail.com>, Tampa, FL
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THE QUESTION:
GD9: I am noticing a disturbing trend in America: Instead of becoming a “melting pot” of different ethnicities into a uniquely American experience, I see more and more of a “tossed salad” mentality, in which different cultures and languages are tossed together but refuse to merge and “melt down.” I understand cultural and national pride among peoples, but I feel this kind of “diversity” is inherently harmful and not as beneficial as we would be led to believe. Does anyone else feel the same, or am I just way off base?
POSTED APRIL 24, 1998
Wallace, white, <tdbuk@juno.com>, Suwanee, GA

ANSWER 1:
The problem with the “Melting Pot” metaphor is that it’s built more on hype than on reality. Every new wave of immigrants that have come to America has managed to irk the sensibilities of the “native born” because they didn’t come off the boat speaking perfect, unaccented English and eating apple pie. Woodrow Wilson, if memory serves, said something to the effect that hyphenated Americans weren’t real Americans at all. The so-called melting pot that existed in the late 19th and early 20th centuries basically amounted to America’s cites being divided into ghettoes of ethnicity rather than just color. The question I have for those who feel that “diversity” is harmful: What parts of your heritage are you willing to jettison in order to make the melting pot a reality?
POSTED APRIL 26, 1998
Jay B., black male <jayboyd@ameritech.net>, Detroit, MI

FURTHER NOTICE:
Wallace: I don’t agree. I feel it’s high time our nation was united by universal respect and acceptance, rather than by “peer-pressure” mentality – the idea that people have to be alike to get along. We have enough in common with each other, simply because we are human, that we shouldn’t need to feel afraid of people because they look, speak or act a little differently than we do. I hope America has matured beyond that point.
POSTED APRIL 29, 1998
Colette, white <inkwolf@earthlink.net>, Seymour, WI

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Another problem is that “melting pot” winds up meaning “learning to act white.” The majority culture rarely wants all those “other people” to do the melting, while they -those who think of themselves as the natives – keep living like they’re used to living. So immediately, all those melting-pot types are second-class citizens.
POSTED MAY 2, 1998
Will H., 48, gay white male, Dallas, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I cannot conceive of anyone making it mandatory to conform to a culture that is not your own. I think the term “melting pot” should be changed to “bouillabaisse” to accommodate the many cultures we have in our country and to depict how other cultures have added to the essence that is the United States.
POSTED MAY 14, 1998
R. McRae, 34, black <armcrae@yahoo.com>, Washington, D.C.

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
History is a great teacher. It does repeat itself, and there is a very basic (and non-racial) truth in the old saying that “…a nation divided…cannot stand.” While no one should abandon their ethnic heritage or religious beliefs, neither should they embrace them to the extent they are prevented (by their own volition or that of others) from peaceful coexistence with other social groups. The critical ability of a nation to remain strong and free – two things Americans enjoy and that we abysmally take for granted – is dependent on the unity and cohesiveness of its people, especially with regard to language. “Cultural diversity” is a real catchy, politically correct buzz-phrase these days, but as currently defined, it has a dark side few seem to have the honesty to address. We’ve always been culturally diverse; we just haven’t (destructively) built our entire senses of self-worth around it until now. It’s dangerous and morally lazy to gauge our “worth” as a function of anything other than our accomplishments as human beings.
POSTED JUNE 11, 1998
Cindy M., 47, white, islnd2sm@jps.net, Lake Forest, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I agree with the questioner. I believe one of the great racial problems today in America is the fact that so many people are stuck on their “nationality.” Many of these people would probably disown their heritage if they knew what their “ancestors” were like. I say this because I went to Tunisia with a black friend, and after seeing their mannerisms, he was so offended by me saying he must be excited about being in his homeland that he stopped wearing his African Amulets. I am Swedish/Norwegian and 100 percent American, which is all that matters. I have been to more than 30 countries, and if you had the privilege of being born in America, you should call yourself American. The bottom line is if we keep making these boundaries between races in America, instead of just being proud of being American, we’ll never be rid of racism.
POSTED JUNE 12, 1998
Scandinavian American (now that sounds stupid), Chawksman@juno.com, Portsmouth, VA

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
In Canada, we have a “Mosaic” social model. Unlike the American “Melting Pot,” we have tried over the years to nurture a truly multicultural society. This has not been easy, particularly in the face of an increasingly diverse ethnic base. Some groups that may have been well-established over generations feel the change is a threat to their way of life. I personally feel multiculturalism is a great advantage in an increasingly global society. We have lots to learn from everyone, and diverse skills bring diverse strengths; I don’t think that maintaining cultural differences is divisive. I think the perception that a homogenous way of life is preferable or superior is simply outdated in the global village.
POSTED JUNE 13, 1998
C. Shea, Vancouver, BC, Canada

FURTHER NOTICE 7:
I am a little mystified by the attitude that conforming to society means acting white. Does anyone believe wearing a suit and a tie is pleasurable? Of all races, the one race that does not have an identity is the white race. Whites are not “European Americans” or “Icelandic Americans”; they are simply white, no matter their background. Wearing a suit and a tie, getting a decent haircut, that’s not being white, that’s being presentable. And yes, I do have an ethnic background, and already have dismissed it in order to make a better life for myself here. I live in America, so I am American.
POSTED JUNE 28, 1998
Alex R, 28, Hispanic <emperor-one@hotmail.com>, Las Vegas, NV

FURTHER NOTICE 8:
I think originally people came to America to escape something from their country. By “melting” together in this new nation, people had a sense of hope and a fresh outlook to their future as being part of something they could be comfortable with and proud of. I don’t think these people ever totally abandoned their heritage – they simply kept the positive and left behind the negative.

What I see happening more and more often are people coming here for the welfare, government assistance, healthcare, etc., or taking advantage of our freedoms and cutting corners to get a green card/citizenship the fastest, easiest way. These people don’t seem to really want to be American (i.e. to learn English, pledge their allegiance to this country, register to vote, etc.) They complain about the way this country is run, complain about the crime, complain about anything and everything and demand respect for their heritage while being disrespectful to American heritage and culture. I don’t think the term “melting pot” implies people have to give up their heritage; it just means that despite our differences, we all work together toward one goal – making a place where we can all live free, safe and happy.
POSTED JULY 1, 1998
Victoria, American (with mixed ancestry), Los Angeles, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 9:
The Melting Pot is a myth. A Stir Fry is more like it. The Melting Pot metaphor is based on a two-way deal that if newcomers learn the values of the American culture, they will be assimilated, have opportunities and be welcomed into American social life and families. If we assimilate them, they will acculturate; if we don¹t, they won’t need to. It still takes two to tango. It worked for most European immigrants as their mixed ethnic heritage gives most a choice of Irish, English or German festivals to celebrate, even Italian and Greek holidays, too. Most of the others, usually people of color, acculturate and knock on the assimilation door, but no one hears them. They’ve always been there, but out of sight and sound. Their knock will become louder, however, when they’re 50 percent of the population of California by 2010 and of the United States by 2050. Ready or not, here they come.
POSTED AUG. 1, 1998
Frank M., 69, Latino <fmont@swbell.net>, San Antonio, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 10:
I see the same effect, although I do not think it is harmful. People need to lose the thought that interracial socialization, dating and marriage, and any other mixing of cultures, will cause a person to “forget where they came from.” It’s more about where we are going. I have dated men of different races and noticed particularly with African-American men a general disdain when they see other African-American men with Caucasian women. When I questioned my most recent date on this subject, he spoke of “preserving the integrity of his race.” I believe he was referring to the loss of culture, i.e., if we all produced children of mixed race, what race would they be? What culture would they identify with? Well, my answer is twofold. First, they would truly be Americans, and second, they would have an even richer race, one that could claim multiple cultures. Those who leave their own back yards to experience other cultures will undoubtedly learn a greater respect for (and understanding of) the different cultures that make up America.
POSTED SEPT. 1, 1998
Mimi, 37, African-American female, Mt. View, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 11:
Growing up in a rural white community, I found “normal” American culture to be lacking much depth and understanding. Being different from those around you was an unacceptable flaw. As an adult, I find modern and ancient cultures all over the world fascinating. While I don’t agree with all practices or beliefs, I do feel there is a lot we can learn from all cultures. I am all for continuing one’s cultural practices in the United States, within the boundaries of the law. I also feel you should put your best foot forward and become a contributing member to society. This is where the “melting pot” thing comes in – it is what creates real American culture. The continual influx of new people and their cultures is what gives this country depth and color. It is what keeps it from becoming stagnant and resistant to change. It isn’t just our form of government that makes our country special. If we just do away with all forms of cultural diversity, this country will become just like every other one. It will lose much of its uniqueness. As a white American of (mostly) Western European descent, I have embraced certain cultural practices into my own life. Some of these are from my own cultural background, some are not. I have become a sort of mini-melting pot. Far from finding this a drawback, I have found it makes me a better, more rounded person.
POSTED OCT. 7, 1998
Single White Female, 29 <pamindian@yahoo.com>, Seattle, Wa

FURTHER NOTICE 12:
I agree that “melting pot” seems to refer to acting white. I am a very fair-skinned Mexican-American female and live on the Texas/Mexico border. I have often been told I look and talk like I am white, and this is supposed to be a compliment – these people seem to assume that all minorities would want to and should seek to look and act as white as possible. I don’t believe any ethnic group should give up their culture – it is the identity our grandparents passed on to us and that we must pass on to our future generations. These different cultures make up America.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
Lisa B., 24, Hispanic <leesann@yahoo.com>, Laredo, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 13:
To Wallace: If you look at the hundreds of Jim Crow laws passed in this country to discriminate against Native Americans, Chinese, Japanese and, most of all, blacks, and set these peoples aside from the mainstream, I am sure you will conclude that the “melting pot” could never have been, since it was never intended to include these peoples (of color). These peoples were not the ones who would “refuse to merge and ‘melt down,’ in your terms, but were, in fact, denied the opportunity to do so by the very European-Americans who coined the phrase “melting pot” while creating and extending the system of Jim Crow that would tolerate no melting. Would you have expected these denied peoples to then abjure their cultures while being excluded from participating in the mainstream culture? To Virginia: I see no basis in history for ascribing loftier virtues and motives to America’s earlier immigrants over those of its more recent arrivals. They’ve all ostensibly been escaping the same things – poverty, persecution, limited opportunities – and seeking the same things – better and/or easier lives. The predominantly white earlier immigrants were solicited and welcomed with open arms, and were greeted with a virtual paradise of natural resources largely free to be plundered by those so inclined. Great fortunes were amassed, but the plundering was severe. More recent arrivals have been significantly more people of color (non-European) and have been generally less welcomed and have been greeted by significantly reduced resources, made largely so by the plundering of those earlier arrivals.
POSTED DEC. 1, 1998
Floyd L., 58, black male <lastchild@worldnet.att.net>, Memphis, TN
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THE QUESTION:
GD8: Movies have ratings, records have labels and clubs have age requirements, yet a lot of parents encourage their children to ignore these guidelines and participate in things that are not deemed age-appropriate. For example, a number of parents would encourage their children to watch the Jerry Springer show to encourage dialogue. What is the logic in going against what “experts” have set up in our society? Are there any areas where we should never cross the lines already set up?
POSTED APRIL 23, 1998
Apryl P., black <apryl@mail-me.com>
Oak Park, MI

ANSWER 1:
Most of my friends who are parents are very torn between the urge to protect their children’s innocence and the necessity of educating them to the perils all around them – drugs, violence, pedophilia, etc. Perhaps some parents are using the “Jerry Springer” show to provide some type of lesson, although more sensitive and appropriate methods could probably be found. On the other hand, I agree many parents do not screen their children’s influences closely enough – perhaps because such a degree of vigilance was unnecessary when they were children.
POSTED APRIL 26, 1998
A. Morgan, 33, Houston

FURTHER NOTICE:
I do not see this happening. I am 15, and never has my mother said “Go watch Jerry Springer” or “Go do something that is morally and legally wrong.” If this is happening, it could be that the parents simply don’t care.
POSTED JUNE 11, 1998
L.C., 15, VT

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I don’t believe rating systems are anything more than general guides to content. Jurassic Park has a PG-13 rating. When I saw it, I understood that some children under that age might well be disturbed by the film, but I also recognized that other children would already be far more familiar with dinosaurs and their potential for mayhem than I might be. You cannot expect to entrust your children’s emotional or mental well-being, or their ethical development, to someone else. The greatest thing a parent can do is to evaluate content and make the decision as to whether it’s appropriate for his/her children based on knowledge of what those children are capable of comprehending. And while I can’t say I would find Jerry Springer edifying in any way for any age group, parents who use it to encourage discussion of issues they deem important are actively evaluating content and participating in their children’s upbringing, not leaving it to “experts.” A friend of mine once put it pretty deftly: “If I can’t trust my child’s morals to Disney, who can I trust them to?”
POSTED JUNE 1998
M.J. Walters, 46, Chicago, IL

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
As a mother of two boys ages 16 and 13, I let them watch many, many “shoot ’em up,” monster and even somewhat sexy movies, but they are never allowed to watch the daytime talk shows. Those talk shows showcase the very worst our society has to offer, and I don’t want my children to think those people are normal or acceptable. At least the movies are supposed to be fiction. (Jerry Springer is a talk show – right?)
POSTED SEPT. 25, 1998
Liz, 35, Ventura, CA
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THE QUESTION:
GD7: Which is more accepted, cultural identity or national identity?
POSTED APRIL 8, 1998
Josh C., 18 <NEONfetus@aol.com>, Atwater, CA

ANSWER 1:
I think cultural identity is more easily recognized than national identity. Acceptance of someone’s cultural identity by others depends on their attitudes. I’m very interested in this issue, as my husband and I adopted a little boy from Guatemala last year. Probably his cultural identity (Hispanic) will be noticed before his new national identity (American). I find myself wondering if he will experience prejudice or even mistreatment from law enforcement types. It makes me realize again how essential it is for everyone to be treated well and fairly by the system.
POSTED AUG. 7, 1998
Betsy M., 46, white female <bmoore@cazcollege.edu>, Cazenovia, NY

FURTHER NOTICE:
I’d say cultural identity. The racism and political correctness that is everywhere in today’s society is evidence of this.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, white female, 26, MD
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THE QUESTION:
GD6: With the globalization process, many large organizations are encountering difficulties in cross-cultural management. Why are chief executives failing by not recognizing the strategic advantage of managing different cultures?
POSTED MARCH 31, 1998
N. Caramia <nca@lineone.net>, London, UK

ANSWER 1:
I believe the major reason chief executives fail to recognize the strategic advantage of managing different cultures is the bottom line – money. Their main purpose for globalization is to increase profits through cheap labor, less-stringent OSHA regulations, little or no taxes, more dividends for stock holders – the list can go on and on. With that in mind, why would the executives of those organizations even consider something like cultural differences? Once questions are raised and receive lots of attention, the organizations simply pack up and move to another unsuspecting country or location. Look at northern Mexico along the Rio Grande River – it’s a prime example of what I’ve just described.
POSTED APRIL 24, 1998
R. Smith, M.B.A. <smithre@cctr.umkc.edu>, Kansas City, KS

FURTHER NOTICE:
A corporation’s executive staff has a responsibility to generate profits, not to hand out welfare to other countries’ poor. The average peron who wants to invest their retirement money into safe and prudent stocks would insist on companies that show stability, growth and profitablity. I believe corporate executives will learn how to manage workers with different cultures simply because worker productivity makes good economic sense. But if cultural differences disrupt productivity, then those executives have a responsibility to curtail those culturally derived activities. For example, in some former Communist countries, there is no work ethic because everyone is guaranteed food and income for life. In some cultures, male dominance is accepted and men refuse to work for a female supervisor. Let’s not turn our successful corporations into yet another arm of the welfare state.
POSTED JUNE 28, 1998
A.W., Fremont, CA
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THE QUESTION:
GD5: Various thinkers often propose that members of various groups with limited sociopolitical power may participate in their own disempowerment (example: abused wife returns to live with abusive husband). To what extent is this point of view on- or off-target?
POSTED MARCH 31, 1998
David W., 45, Euro-American male <dweber@du.edu>
Denver, CO

ANSWER 1:
I think this is a true statement in many cases. The qualities that make a person attracted to an abuser don’t simply go away once the person is beaten up a few times and can’t deny what is happening. This also applies to other people who can’t succeed; there is a strong correlation between their failure and the qualities that made them put themself into the failing situation in the first place.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, white female, MD
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THE QUESTION:
GD4: I have gained weight in the last two years. It seems that people have no problem walking up to me saying ‘You’ve gained weight” or worse, “are you pregnant?” It would seem to me it’s pretty obvious that I know I’ve gained weight, since I have to dress me. I don’t know these people well enough to be comfortable with the teasing, yet, I was taught it was impolite to point out their lack of class and tact on the spot. How could I reasonably respond to these comments? Some people are larger and some are smaller than the “idea.l” Either way, the comments are rude. It seems weight is OK to tease about, where other body changes are not.
POSTED MARCH 24, 1998
Apryl P., black <apryl@mail-me.com>
Oak Park, MI

ANSWER 1:
With society’s ideal woman being tall and waif-thin, people will compare every woman to that ideal (at least this seems to be my experience). What people don’t take into account is bone structure and genetics. I have gained some weight, and have had to deal with rude comments from my family. I tell them I know I have gained weight, and I don’t need reminding. I have finally come to the realization that I cannot look like what society thinks I should., so I have accepted my body the way it is. I have started an excercise program and eat nutritiously. If this doesn’t help, I am not going to be upset, because I don’t think there should be a generalization of women based on their weight. Every woman is beautiful in her own way, and she shouldn’t look toward to validate herself.
POSTED APRIL 1, 1998
Candace, 23, white, Olathe, KS

FURTHER NOTICE:
I happen to be built quite thin, having what is called a “high metabolism.” Basically, I eat and eat and eat and don’t gain weight. In fact, I lose weight easily and unintentionally, especially if I am sick for a week or very busy and don’t eat as regularly. I get comments on my weight, and I don’t appreciate it. Not only do I get, “You are so lucky” or “Shut up! I hate you! You are so thin,” I also get “You’re too skinny” or “You need to gain some weight!” So I think there is just a general obsession with “perfection” in terms of weight and the normative perception of beauty. But who wants to attract guys who are obsessed with such superficial qualities, anyway?
POSTED APRIL 18, 1998
Cerridwen, 27, female, San Francisco

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
My guess is that people say these things because of their own insecurities. I’m constantly being told I’m short (which I suppose I am) and I wouldn’t take it as an offense if that wasn’t the way people so obviously mean it to be taken. I also find it amazing that people I have just met feel the need to point out to me that I’m so short. But my advice is don’t retaliate – I did one night when I was at a friend’s birthday dinner and a friend of hers kept at me all night. Finally, I just turned to him and told him he had a big nose (which he did) and everyone was horrified that I could be so rude! I can’t help being my height, you can’t help being your weight, and he couldn’t help having his big nose. You just have to realize that we’ll never understand what goes on inside others’ minds, and at least you’re a better person for not feeling the need to put others down.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1998
Nicole A., 26, Brisbane, Australia

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Answer simply by saying, “So nice of you to notice” and smile. Don’t let it ruin your day, just realize that some people are socially retarded. Feel good about yourself. It’s your life – don’t wait even one moment to live it to its fullest. I once heard someone say, “I don’t let anyone rent space in my head.”
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
Debbie, 34, white, Phelan, CA
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THE QUESTION:
GD3: This question is for BJ Winchester, who responded to the question (GD2) of whether college diversity courses have done their job. I work with a program that is working to teach “Valuing Individual Differences” to students in grades K through 12. What do you suggest we do as program facilitators to increase our knowledge base about white privilege, and is this appropriate to address with students in a one-day workshop?
POSTED MARCH 20, 1998
Susan, Terre Haute, IN

ANSWER 1:
Thanks for the question. I am familiar with the program to which you are referring. I suggest you read a book called “Why are all the Black Kids sitting together in the Cafeteria?” by Dr. Beverly Tatum. It talks about the fallacies of Affirmative Action, white privilege and how it relates to the public school system. It breaks every issue down into plain English and helps break through the smoke-screens people throw up when talking about racism.
POSTED MARCH 25, 1998
BJ Winchester, Cultural Diversity Trainer <bjwinchester@pmgnet.com>
Jacksonville, FL
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THE QUESTION:
GD2: Have the diversity classes currently required in college had any noticeable effect on reducing racism?
POSTED MARCH 11, 1998
N.C., Lawrence, KS

ANSWER 1:
I think some multicultural education classes have done the job when they include two major things that are still not requirements under the current public school system: The acknowledgement of white privilege in America and the oneness of humanity. Too often, these classes do more damage than good because they teach the differences and don’t expand on the oneness and the history that has led to the power struggle of white superiority in America. This is usually because the teachers (through no fault of their own) don’t have the support or knowledge on how to address the feelings that result from such discussions.
POSTED MARCH 16, 1998
B.J. Winchester, 33, white, Cultural Diversity Trainer, Jacksonville, FL

FURTHER NOTICE:
In college I was required to take a cultural diversity class. It turned out to be a class about all the bad things whites have done to blacks throughout history. I resented this because the professor blamed all black problems on whites and I was paying for it! In this case, the cultural diversity class did more harm than good.
POSTED APRIL 3, 1998
P.B., white, male, Rochester Hills, MI

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Having sat through several of these courses in college, many of which were required, I can say they were a big pain in the ***. Not only are all problems characterized as the fault of white males, but they’re my personal fault, too. There was no “discussion,” only one big lecture about our problems. Also, it irked me when college professors, whose children go to school for free, would expound on how minorities should get more scholarship money than whites. I couldn’t help but remember that my tuition money was paying for their kids’ education. A lot of “us white folks” are poor, too, and I can assure you that wealthy whites know us from them and have no trouble reminding us. The diversity classes, in the end, made me a much less tolerant person, and every day I have to remind myself why I won’t hate everyone: Whites, blacks, women, men, gays, straights, Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc..
POSTED JULY 16, 1998
B., 22, straight white male, Kokomo, IN

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I wonder why it is that I, as a white male, disagree with the complaints of “white male-bashing” I hear so frequently these days. I know I’ve got privileges as a white man that people of color and women don’t have. I recognize the extent to which the White Guys in Charge will automatically give credence to what I say simply because I’m “like them.” I know history. Maybe it’s because when the White Guys in Charge find out I’m gay, all my privileges are instantly revoked. I think you have to experience prejudice to really understand it and recognize how pervasive it is. It embarrasses me to death when white men whine about “our” victimization.
POSTED JULY 28, 1998
Max H.,.white male <Maxisme@hotmail.com>, Oakland, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Diversity classes are only as good as the instructor. It appears to me that some of the instructors are minorities with substantial unresolved issues around race, gender and economic class. I attended one class in which the instructor said that he was glad when he could get back to Oakland so that he could be in an all-black community and not be around whites. This same instructor appeared to want the whites to be in pain for all the hurts he ever felt in life. At the same time he had no grasp of discrimination experienced by women, gays or by those of lower economic position. (The instructor claimed he was a black male raised in an integrated upper middle class neighborhood. His race was actually half black and half Puerto Rican but he did not accept his mother’s Puerto Rican contribution to his ethinicity.) If my only experience with diversity training was this one class, I would probably feel a greater need to protect myself from hatred targeted at me because my skin is white and I am a female. I am thankful that I have also been involved in diversity awareness situations where a true exchange of beliefs, perceptions and experiences have happened in an environment of openness and compassion for all the participants. As a result, I can start to acknowledge my own biases and those of others (in all groups) with greater compassion and understanding.
POSTED NOV. 19, 1998
F., 47, white female, Los Angeles , CA

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Racial diversity/multicultural classes in college really came across as a giant snow job to me. No one could ever ask a question that reflected poorly on minorities (such as “Why do I see gay people having sex in rest stops?”) without getting yelled at and put down. And yes, for the record I am gay and out, so please don’t pull the homophobia card on me. Questions about the academic performance of African Americans were even more stridently attacked. There was a lot of defensiveness, and I don’t think people were honest. I respected minorities a lot less afterward because their behavior was bombastic, didactic,and most importantly evasive. Frankly, the only way a minority group can win my respect is by achieving something tangible.
POSTED DEC. 9, 1998
Will H., gay male, New York, NY

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I attended the University of Michigan a couple years ago. A diversity education class was part of our orientation. Being a young white male from a suburb of Detroit, I was no stranger to the black culture, but being 18, I was pretty immature and naive. Another girl in the class was black, and from another suburb of Detroit (if memory serves me right). We ended up getting in a big discussion (argument) about what our races have done to each other and who owes who what. In retrospect, I find it amusing that two kids with no real life experience were forced to argue one of this country’s oldest disputes. All I feel that was accomplished was the creation of two bad attitudes, and mine stayed with me for quite a while. I think at that age it would have been much smarter to organize a class that promoted working together on various projects, instead of setting up fights. I think adults too often play through children.
POSTED DEC. 15, 1998
24, white male, Detroit, Mi
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THE QUESTION:
GD1: Today in America, and for the last 10 years I have been living here, race in America seems to have become a white vs. black issue. Why and to what end are black and white people determined to keep racial issues (racism, discrimination, etc) a white and black issue? Do whites and blacks think they are more human (equal) than all other races in America? I think the media is determined to keep race in America a white vs. black issue, because it is easier to deal with the black issue than with all other races living in this country.
POSTED FEB. 26, 1998
Adolfo O., California

ANSWER 1:
Race continues to be a black and white issue in America because of the history of slavery, which was primarily an issue between whites and blacks. The answer to your question “..to what end?”: In spite of legal changes that include the abolishment of slavery, the Civil Rights Act and Affrimative Action, some white people continue to hold to the attitude that black people are inferior and do not deserve rights and privileges as American citizens. This attitude among some white people manifests in some way in nearly every aspect of life in this country. This continuing attitude and black people’s reactions to it is what keeps race an issue in America. I agree with you that the media (newspapers, Hollywood, TV, etc.) adds fuel to this fire. I can only speak from a black man’s point of view and say that we do not see ourselves as more human than any other race.
POSTED MARCH 15, 1998
Larry, Atlanta, GA

FURTHER NOTICE:
People like things to be simple. It’s complicated to spread our awareness over whites, blacks, Asians, Native Americans, Hispanics . . . Each ethnicity has divisions within itself, and all the sub-parts relate to and have feelings about all the other sub-parts. People get a headache thinking about it all, so it’s just easier to conceive of the whole issue as a white/black dichotomy.

Also, I find a fair amount of competition for the position of “Minority of Choice.” Just as there is sometimes competition for victim status (“My people have it worse than your people”), we also seem to imagine that there’s only so much tolerance to go around, and if the other guys get any, there won’t be any left over for us. Here in Dallas there is often much nastiness between the black and Hispanic leaders, as though making sure that Hispanic kids are treated well in school will make it impossible for black children to be treated well.

Of course it’s no coincidence, I think, that this squabbling lets the white majority sit back and watch the fight instead of making changes.
POSTED MARCH 15, 1998
Will H., Dallas, Texas

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I’ve also wondered this, and this is the best theory I’ve come up with: White people have treated people of all races badly, but the last horaay for doing this was slavery as far as people seem to be concerned, so this is where it all focuses.

Unfortunately, this is something that seems to have no end, as long as we sit at home telling our children to “beware of him or he’ll give you no chance because of the color of his or your skin.”

Bottom line: Whites are not the only prejudiced people and blacks are not the only oppressed. People perhaps should worry less about who’s harmed them or offended them and worry more about moving forward regardless.
POSTED MARCH 20, 1998
Tim, Alabama

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
People tend to forgo proplems that aren’t their own. I am a white American of Irish descent. People use terms everyday that are “racial slurs” about the Irish. Paddy wagon and Mic are examples. Once when I was about eight I saw a police car go by and mentioned to my grandmother “there goes a paddy wagon.” The lecture that ensued bordered on a presidential inaugural speech. Ever since then, I tend to feel a little bitter when I hear those phrases. Russian immigrants are the most current victims of racial discrimination. Just look at how the media portrays them. As far as the media is concerned, they are all involved in the Russian mafia. What people tend to forget is that we are not all alike. That is not to say that one race is inferior to another. What I’m saying is we’re all raised differently. So we’re all going to have different customs, beliefs and ideals. The challenge comes in trying to understand if not at least respect, people of different races.
MAY 4, 1998
Irish American, 27, male <DMylott817@aol.com>, Rutland, VT

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I think people need to stop thinking about the past (i.e. slavery, etc.). Yes, mistakes have been made, and it needs to be acknowledged, but to continue blaming one race for it is also wrong. I was born after slavery and am too young to remember the civil rights movement. But I am white and, therefore, people assume I consider myself to be superior to other races. This is also a form of racism. I don’t think I’m superior to any race, and there are people of different backgrounds that have it way better than I do. I will not deny there are still white people who have this frame of mind; however, if we continue to blame one race for the problems, it only fosters resentment in the opposite race. I resent hearing comments about the “white majority” and having them applied to me.
POSTED JUNE 13, 1998
Krystina, 23, white female, krystina@okicol.com, Columbus, OH

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Our media is now in a soundbite culture, therefore “black vs. white” is easier to play upon. White-on-white hatred in Bosnia, black-on-black hatred in Rwanda, the Crow hating the Cheyenne, the Korean hating the Japanese, the Vietnamese hating the Chinese, what Spanish/Indian (i.e. Latino) troops are doing to the native population of Chiapas – these have nothing to do with either blacks or whites. But Indians, Hispanics, Asians, etc. were never slaves (tell that to the Chinese railroad worker who worked for a bowl of rice every day, or the Irish indentured servant who had less legal protection than the African) and there are demagogues who have an interest in keeping something as complicated as slavery in everyone’s mind, and as long as demagoguery and simplistic nostrums are bandied about, people will continue to feel resentment and slights because its easier than examining complex issues.
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
David Y. <LttlGTO@aol.com>, Oakland, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I have come to the conclusion that there never will be unity among blacks and whites, no matter how hard we try.

I have raised my children to be nice and respectful, and without prejudice. It didn’t last long after they started public school. At least once a month, my son, who is white, was targeted by a black boy and assaulted. My son is very quiet and shy, and when I asked school officials if they ever observed him provoking any of these incidents, they informed my that my son was too shy to speak much at all.

My son made one friend, and he was black. He came to our house often to play. Later, that kid was beat up for being a friend to my son. My son says the black boys always say something about slavery when they are harrassing him. My son did not make anybody a slave, but he is sure having to pay for it. We are sorry that white people stole black people from Africa, but it’s not our fault today. Being part Native American, I am very angry about what was done to the Indians, but I’m not out harrassing every white person I run into.

We all have to try to get along. I know all blacks are not like this and do not feel this way, but there are too many that do. I feel that as long as this anger continues, I don’t know how there will ever be unity among blacks and whites. What is so sad about all of this is that my son, who I tried to raise without prejudice, now constantly tells me how he hates blacks. Nobody made him this way except black people. It’s really sad.
POSTED JAN. 27, 1999
J. Watson, Raleigh, NC
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