Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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I skipped over this question for a few days because I thought it was the same question that had been asked over and over again in this forum, to wit, ‘Why do so many white kids like hip-hop?’ I’m happy to see that your question has a twist. Maybe i’m not the one to answer your question, because it seems to be directed to people who think you don’t have a right to listen to or like hip-hop. I’m not one of those people. In my opinion, if you like it, listen to it. That’s what it’s made for. Maybe those who object are those who think that hip-hop is an expression by and for people who live a certain life and are aquainted with a certain reality, and they are skeptical that a white person could truly relate. Maybe they think that white kids who listen to hip-hop are trying to be black, simply mimicking the culture with no real basis for their conviction, which is what has happened before. Anyway, it’s just music. Listen if you like it. As I said, that’s what it’s there for. _______________________________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’m a little unsure about what you’re asking, but I assume you want to know why black on black crime seems to be considered less serious that white on black crime. I think it’s because of the circumstances under which much of this violence occurs. Black on black crime is usually due to gang or drug activity, economic rather than racist in motivation. It’s a hazzard of the lifestyle, and I guess no one is too surprised when the chickens come home to roost. That doesn’t mean people aren’t hurt or digusted or angered by it, but in some communities it is seen as such a perenial problem that it just isn’t shocking anymore. When white people attack blacks, it’s usually because of some kind of racist ideology. This kind of attack will always be shocking, because many black people see our story in this country as a litany of violence against us by white people, physical or otherwise. It’s far less common than black on black crime, but every time it happens, I think some of us wonder, ‘Oh sh–, are they starting again?’ There is no way to predict when this kind of violence will strike, or how far it will go, or why it has started. Therefore, maybe we feel that there’s no way to protect ourselves. You can get to know where high drug trafficking and gang activity areas are, but you can’t pick the homicidal racists out of 70+ per cent of the population. This is very unsettling. This is my take, anyway. ________________________________________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I don’t think, from the way you’ve described your experiences, that the attention from the Mexican men in your neighborhood is because you are light-skinned. Maybe they think you are a Latina, but I don’t think any Latino male with any class would treat any woman, Latina or not, in the manner you describe. Maybe they don’t care what race you are and simply think you’re attractive, and therefore want to get next to you. I don’t think their inappropriate behavior is due to their ethnicity, either. It may be that they’re tasteless cretins who are part of every ethnicity. If they’re just looking or just talking, try to ignore them. If they touch or follow you, tell them to leave you alone or you’ll notify the authorities. Catcalls are one thing, but following and touching unbidden are assault. A swift knee to the privates or a face full of pepper spray might convince the insistent that you don’t want their attention.
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’m sure you didn’t intend to generalize to the effect that all Italian-Americans hate blacks. I understand your question, though, especially given the fact that you live in Boston; even having never been there, I am aware of the neighborhoods where blacks take their lives in their hands by stepping foot inside. I think there are Italian-Americans who hate blacks for the same reason there are Irish-Americans who hate blacks. Both of these immigrant groups suffered similar discrimination and hatred that we did when they first came here. You should see some of the old hate propaganda perpetrated against the Irish and Italians from the early 20th century. Very similar to the white supremacist propaganda against us that persists to this day, including references to monkeys, laziness, filth, idiocy, childlike impulses and uncontrollable sexuality. However, one of the rights of passage for non-black immigrants to this country was and is climbing above blacks on the social scale. The way to do that, to distance oneself from ‘the lowest of the low,’ requires a mirroring of the attitudes evinced by the mainstream. The closer you are in appearance and culture to the ‘lowest of the low,’ the more virulently you must deride them, so that those who have the power will consider you more one of them. _______________________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am not a Muslim, but I was given to understand that the proper response is ‘Alaikum Salaam.’
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am an American black person who has lived in the Midwest all of her life. My heritage has exposed me to some foods that may be characteristic of African-American/Southern culture, but my upbringing has been much more influential on my eating habits. My father is a research scientist, more specifically cancer research, a lifelong athlete and a student of Eastern theology, philosophy and medicine. He also did the vast majority of the meal preparation in our family from the time I was a very small child. Therefore, I was raised with a knowledge of the importance of vitamin and mineral supplements, and a balanced diet, as well as the merits of non-traditional diets. This has led me to experiment, and over the last 10 years, I have adopted a mostly vegetarian lifestyle. I rarely eat meat, fish or fowl. I don’t eat many dairy products. I eat a lot of leafy-green vegetables, beans, grains, fruit and other non-processed whole foods. I take megadoses of vitamin C, as well as mineral supplements. I drink lots of water. When I eat this way, I feel incredibly strong, clear-headed, positive, vibrant and happy. This is the main reason for my dietary choices. It’s not the way for everyone, but given what I know about the higher incidences of hypertension, cancer, diabetes and other life-threatening illnesses among black people, and the way that our traditional eating styles contribute to those, I’d say it’s a good choice in that respect as well. In a way, it makes sense. Africans eat much more healthily as a matter of course than Americans do.
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I might not be the most qualified person to answer, but I’ve asked before myself, and this is what I learned: 1) This is a multi-step process. Don’t expect a pleasurable experience right away. 2) Make sure you have both been tested for sexually transmitted diseases. The tissue in the anal cavity is more fragile than vaginal tissue and easily torn, making transmission much easier. 3) Vaginal sex was also uncomfortable the first time, right? You got past it, likely by taking your time, hopefully with a sensitive and patient partner. These same basic ingredients are necessary for anal sex, too. Be sure you are as interested in trying it as he. Reluctance contributes tension, which contributes to tight muscles, which contributes to more pain than there might be otherwise. If you really don’t want to, please don’t . It’s OK to say no. Talk about it with him, and be sure he understands your concerns and is supportive. 4) Start with some gentle play in the area, so that you are comfortable being touched there. This part should be pursued without the expectation that anal sex will follow immediately. No pressure. If you feel ready, allow your boyfriend to use a well-lubricated finger to gently probe inside, little by little. When you reach your pain threshhold, he stops. You can try again on other occasions. 5) You might want to try an anal plug. These can be purchased at any sex-toy store, from the internet, or mail-order. They come in different sizes, from relatively thin on up. They are usually tapered at the insertion end, and widen slightly. Ease this in, again with lots of lubrication (Aqua Lube is good), and wear it for a few minutes, or as long as it feels comfortable. Try the gentle fingering again. Once you are able to take a whole finger, tell him to freeze, and give yourself a while to relax. 6) Once you feel comfortable with a finger, allow him to gently try inserting his penis. If it hurts, tell him to stop pushing, and let yourself relax around it. Let him proceed only if you’re ready. It’s likely to be uncomfortable for a while, but it shouldn’t hurt nearly as much. You might want to give yourself an enema beforehand if you’re worried about poop. Soon he will be able to insert his whole penis, but without thrusting. Work up to very shallow, very slow movement. Then, whatever you feel comfortable with.
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’ve noticed that in general, we African Americans tend to converse more loudly than others at times. I don’t know that this has anything to do with different hearing levels, but I do think that other cultures value ‘social reserve’ more than we do. Exuberance, animation and expressiveness are common among us. I don’t mind the generalization. Generalization, after all, implies that not everyone fits the description.
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Were white people brought to this country against their will? Were the diverse and rich heritages and cultures they came from when brought here forcibly removed from their consciousness? Was there a concerted effort to teach these human beings to view themselves as inferior, and to accept that view from others? A view of self that persists today? Do white people live in a culture where they have had to fight to see themselves recognized, represented and treated equally? Do white people live in a culture where until recently, ‘nude’ stockings and ‘flesh tone’ crayons were a uniform shade completely different from most people they knew? Where their tastes, needs and opinions subjugated to those of blacks? I don’t think so.
I am sick of this convenient forgetfulness by white people who ask questions of this sort. It smacks of the viewpoint of a person who sees the world changing for the better, doesn’t like it, so whines about sharing power for a change, in the hopes this will make things the way they were in the ‘good ole’ days.’ Well, no friggin’ chance!
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Hoo boy, you’ve stumbled upon a real chestnut in the annals of stereotypes. Black people don’t eat any more watermelon than anyone else, actually. Of course we like it, but who doesn’t? If there’s any truth to the stereotype, it’s because watermelons are a hearty plant and produce large fruits (actually, I think watermelons are a vegetable) that can feed a lot of people. Back in the days of slavery, and beyond, anything that was plentiful was a staple, especially when fresh fruit was at a premium. In those days, the more exotic fruits and vegetables were reserved for the Big House. If it didn’t grow on the land, it wasn’t likely that slaves would be welcome to it unless it had been discarded. Same with chicken. There were usually lots of them, and they were easy to feed, so we ate them rather than beef or other meat. This became a stereotype the same way that a lot of stereotypes develop – people woefully ignorant of the true origins of a behavior, or willfully deciding that a survival tactic or adaptation is some kind of inherent characteristic. Incidentally, ever heard the phrase, ‘S)he’s eating high on the hog’? This comes from the same place. Pig’s feet, maws, chitlins (pig guts), brains and all of that which is discarded from the body of a pig at slaughter are part of soul-food cuisine. We began eating these things because the meat higher up on the pig’s body(hams, bacon, etc.) was also reserved for the Big House. Thus, ‘eating high on the hog,’ meaning (unusually) well.
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Hi Juno. Since American History is the story of many groups of people inextricably intertwined, i’d have to start by recommending a book called The People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn. This provides a good base for the whole schmeer. You might also want to read Roll Jordan, Roll: The World The Slaves Made. I’m sorry that I can’t recall the name of the author, but it should be easy to find. These are both dense, challenging reads, but enormously rewarding if you stick with it. If you can get your hands on unabridged audio or printed text of speeches by Martin Luther King, Jr. AND Malcom X, please do. Also, Letters From A Birmingham Jail by MLK might be interesting to you. By all means, please read The Autobiography of Malcom X, also unabridged, as told to Alex Haley. Speaking of Alex Haley, Roots is a fine book. Check out the miniseries if you like, but I always like books better than movies. Along the same lines as People’s History, i.e. an overview of a significant event that involved every walk of life on converging paths, I can’t suggest stridently enough that you lay in some supplies, including a box or two of kleenex, pull the blinds, and spend a weekend with the Ken Burns documentary, The Civil War. It should be available at Blockbuster. It’s nine volumes, but I wager that you will be so engrossed, you won’t care. A couple of other documentaries you might want to see: Africans in America, produced by PBS. Very comprehensive and engaging. The nearest big city library should have it. Eyes On The Prize: Award-winning series about the Civil Rights Movement, and deservedly so. A cornerstone to any historical video collection. In terms of fiction, i’d recommend Zora Neale Hurston, Richard Wright, James Baldwin, Maya Angelou’s autobiographical series which begins with ‘I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings’, Toni Morrison, particularly ‘The Bluest Eye’ . . . There are so many more biographies, works of fiction, autobiographies, recordings, and resources i’d like to recommend, but I don’t think I have the space to do so. The University of Minnesota, Twin Cities, is the home of the largest collection of works by and about African-Americans in the country. You can peruse some of that collection via the internet through the University’s website. Also, check out the Smithsonian website. Moderator, please insert paragraph breaks. Thanks. ____________________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,You wrote: “Because we, the whitey, changed our minds within the past decade…”
You changed your mind? Hee hee, talk about delusions of grandeur!“…allows them immediate access back into that country with no questions asked.”
Africa is a CONTINENT, bubba. What, out sick when they taught 4th grade geography?I won’t comment further. You RAHOWA types are good for a laugh and not much else.
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Let me take this line by line:
“In my opinion it is because they do not want to be called American.” Well if this were the case, we would call ourselves African rather than African-AMERICAN, wouldn’t we?“…but they do not have the courage to go…” Actually, quite a few of us HAVE gone back, especially since Ghana offered us dual citizenship. However, you wouldn’t know black courage if it jumped up and bit you in the ass, so there’s no point in admonishing you with anecdotal history that proves my point. Furthermore, where would you suggest that we go? Africa is not a monolithic entity. It is a continent, not a country, with more tribes, cultures, languages and ways than can be named in one sitting. Our esteemed forefathers made sure that none of us, or as few of us as possible, would retain any knowledge of our MYRIAD origins, and it’s ridiculous and ignorant to suggest that all of us would belong wherever we chose to go.
“Truth is, black folk are treated and tolerated better in America than in any other country, including the continent of Africa.”
I would agree that life is better in America for MANY people than it is elsewhere, but the arrogant notion that you are in a position to ‘tolerate’ us, as if you have any more right to be here than I do, is laughable. Furthermore, tribal wars are much different in origin than our brand of racial discrimination. “They are filled with self-loathing and denial.”
Another sweeping generalization that tells me it’s not worth dignifying with extrapolation.“Like it or not, they have not reached their ‘awakening,’ and will not in our lifetime.”
Black people are in process, like everyone else. To imply that you’ve somehow attained some kind of enlightenment as a white person that blacks have not is astounding. Black people are some of the most resilient people in the world, and my guess is that that drives you crazy.“I am not degrading black folk, rather it is just the way it is, in my opinion.”
What was that about denial again?User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Hi R., There are some subculture groups among the black diaspora in this country who consider themselves and all black people the lost tribes of Israel. They may wear the star for that reason. I don’t think there’s any anti-Semitism going on with that, as spurious as their claims may be. ______________________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Actually Jean, most black men are in prison for crimes against adults, especially drug dealing. The fact is, pedophilia is much more common among whites. Where are you getting *your* information? __________________________
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
