Fair-skinned black female geting harassed

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #6367

    Reena
    Member
    I have been dying to ask this, but wanted to do so in a place where I won't get bashed: I am a very fair-skinned black female with long, so-called 'good hair' who's been mistaken many times for a Latina. We have a fast-growing community of Mexicans in our apartment complex and in the general area. Whenever I am out alone, Mexican men are literally drop-jawed when they see me. I have been followed in grocery stores, followed several times in laundromats, etc. When I come home, and they're out in the parking lots, they stop what they're doing and stare. I have been approached in ways that make me highly uneasy. I'm talking brushing up on me and touching. Is there something about the culture that I don't know? I have never been approached this way by other men. Also, Asian women look very strangely at me as well. I'm talking goggle-eyed stares. Sometimes in different settings, I would meet an Asian woman who looked at me all crazy for the longest time, and as soon as they got to know me, the first question out of their mouth was, 'What nationality are you?', as if they'd been dying to know. Does it really shake people up when they don't know what race to peg you? What's the deal? And for the record, I wear normal regular clothes like jeans and tee shirts, nothing hootchie-kootchie.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Reena, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, City : Skippers, State : VA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #38869

    Jennifer R.
    Participant
    I don't think, from the way you've described your experiences, that the attention from the Mexican men in your neighborhood is because you are light-skinned. Maybe they think you are a Latina, but I don't think any Latino male with any class would treat any woman, Latina or not, in the manner you describe. Maybe they don't care what race you are and simply think you're attractive, and therefore want to get next to you. I don't think their inappropriate behavior is due to their ethnicity, either. It may be that they're tasteless cretins who are part of every ethnicity. If they're just looking or just talking, try to ignore them. If they touch or follow you, tell them to leave you alone or you'll notify the authorities. Catcalls are one thing, but following and touching unbidden are assault. A swift knee to the privates or a face full of pepper spray might convince the insistent that you don't want their attention.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #25939

    Sarah28398
    Participant
    Asians are unfortunately known to be extremely curious about ethnicity (and not neccesarily tactful about it either), no matter what you may be this includes other Asians.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Sarah28398, Gender : F, Race : Asian, City : San Francisco, State : CA Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #36080

    Lisa-@hotmailcom
    Participant
    I mean to me you seem to like the attention. But people in America want to know what category to put you in that's just the way it is. People ask me am a mixed. When you have long hair or light eyes that just have to know. I'm this way myself.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lisa-@hotmailcom, City : St. Louis, State : MO Country : United States, 
    #39603

    B.T.
    Participant
    Not knowing someone's ethnicity is no excuse for the type of harassment you mention in your posting. However, it has been my experience that not being able to identify one's ethnicty can be very troubling for some people. I also am 'light skinned' but until I started college thought it was rather obvious that I was black; however, I now know that not to be the case. What continues to surprise me to this day though is: A. How much people seem to dwell on figuring out what my race/ethnicity is -- people normally don't seem comfortable in just asking; and B. How unsettled people seem to get when they don't know what my race/ethnicity is. It's been my experience that many people unfortunately seem to need to know your race/ethnicity to know how they should (or I guess shouldn't) relate to you.

    User Detail :  

    Name : B.T., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 28, City : Arlington, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : public affairs, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #38202

    Anonimia
    Participant
    Yes, these men find you attractive. I've lived in two Spanish-speaking countries and find the Hispanic men are very forward in expressing their attraction for a women. I have seen where they are a little more reserved when doing this to white women. The last time this happened to me(I'm a brown skin sista, kinky hair, more African features than anything else; I'm Hispanic, but no one can tell), the gentlemen refered to me as "meat" in Spanish. They circled around me like vultures, and to be honest, if it had not been daylight, I would have been afraid. I proceeded to open dialogue in Spanish, and they looked shocked. And I had to check 'em, girl. It stopped.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Anonimia, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Arican-African American/Hispanic, Religion : Independent Christian, Age : 23, City : Apex, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #37982

    Rose29487
    Participant
    I am fair skined myself being that i am mixed and people always question my race, its hard sometimes and sometimes people dont really care. About getting looked at by latino men well i get alot of that too but its not just from latinos its from all races you just happend to maybe live in a area where that is what is mainly around guys are 'dogs' just ignore it.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Rose29487, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : black/white/mexican, Religion : Christian, Age : 17, City : Pasadena, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
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