Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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This may not be what you want to hear. When I was about five, in my imaginary play world, I used to see myself living with my friend in a flat, and we would have all sorts of adventures together. My ‘friend’ was male. I am not saying my experience is typical or that this implies anything about your son, but I have talked with other gay men who had this sort of notion very early on in life.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I’ve read this, unsurprisingly in a gay newspaper, which quoted some statistics or a study of some form or another in support of this upstanding notion. Sounds rather implausble to me – nice as it may be to flatter oneself . . .
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I don’t know about ‘glorify’ white people but my experience of having had a few Asian partners and many friends is that some do have a thing about prizing lighter skin and ergo, other Asians with darker skin are frowned on. It has me quite puzzled, as I admire the darker guys generally ! I remain rather surprised also that in Malaysia and Singapore, the attitude of the Chinese to the former British colonial masters is quite positive. If it were me, I would have a rather more negative view . . . I have also heard a few racist comments by Asians made about black people, usually about skin smell. Nothing more than that, but there it is.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Kabbalah has been around since the 12th century when early writings were produced by Moses of Leon in Spain. It is a continuation of an esoteric tradition that is probably much older than that – most ‘exoteric’ outer religious manifestations have an ‘esoteric’ or hidden teaching, which tends to be speculative, contradictory and difficult – hence it is often kept quiet for fear of alienating believers or attracting ostracism from powerful religious figures. It has a very long history, and the appropriation or ‘bastardisation’ of a version of it by a particular American sect has predictably little to do with the older versions – I’ve studied Kabbalah for a couple of years and never once read anything about wearing a red cord around my wrist or changing my name !
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Yes, it is a myth I’m guilty of spreading, because I’m of partial Irish descent but people consistently think I am Greek or Lebanese. The Armada thing may well be just a romantic explanation. All I can say for certain, after having a look at web resources that cast doubt on the Spanish Armada story, is that I do appear to have Mediterranean features, and so did many Irish in Dublin when I visited there. I would say there are slight differences in our features than Greeks or Lebanese, however. My father is even darker than I am. He was almost arrested a few times when he visited Israel in the 60s, because they thought he was an Arab. However, the web-based comments merely state that the Spanish sailors were largely slaughtered, or ould have died out or only stayed for a small amount of time in Ireland. Honestly, I wonder how they could be sure of this. The West Coast of Ireland was a pretty wild and inhospitable place at the time. And many Irish records were destroyed in the uprisings in the early 20th century. Another idea is that the dark inhabitants may be aboriginal ancestors from before the Celts arrived, early Celts, or that they may be descendants of Moorish traders. One comment was that ‘Black Irish’ is mainly an American term, however, I can report that it is used in Australia and has been around for a while.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Freemasonry is a society which teaches a type of moral development done through ritual and symbolism. Because the symbols and ritual is powerful at the subconscious level, it is better for candidates to experience it without knowing about it all beforehand. Moral values are central within Freemasonry, so Masons are not usually inclined to spill the beans and break their oaths. Because of the secrecy, a lot of rubbish is talked about Freemasons [and just about every other so-called ‘secret’ society.] These days, many Grand Lodges are a little more open than in the past and it is possible to find out quite a good deal about Freemasonry, particularly the large amount of charitable work that is done for the community through the Craft. In my lodge, all we keep secret are our passwords and ‘signs and tokens’.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I have only a brief experience of the US when I took advantage of cheap fares to fly to Florida for a look around when I was living in Britain. I stayed in Tampa and in a poor area of St Petersburg. I found that some white Americans viewed me with suspicion because I walked places. [I wasn’t game to drive US cars on the ‘wrong’ side of the road.] Conversely I found Afro-Americans to be very friendly, and much more worldly wise and able to share a joke. I found that service was poor, and my guess is that with the pay being so low, hospitality and retail employees didn’t have a lot of emotional investment in their jobs. They tended to hide behind a false smile and didn’t seem to know much about what they were selling. I never thought I would miss Britain and good old surly, argumentative British service, but I did. Occasionally in America I’d meet someone genuinely nice who’d try to help, but it wasn’t a high point. It hasn’t turned me off the country, I am intrigued by the US and want to see more some day.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,These days the more ‘correct’ sociological term is ‘new religious movements’, rather than ‘cults’ and ‘fringe religions’, probably because those terms are value-laden and these religions are a pretty diverse bunch. I believe some people belong to these groups because they need to define themselves as against the broader society, so adopting the stance of belonging to an ‘exclusive’ group helps in defining themselves. Other members may join an NRM because they do feel lost or confused by secular society. Some NRMs do seek to control members’ lives and this may provide direction to a person’s life that is otherwise lacking. A more positive interpretation is that some NRMs provide a rigorous method of discipline and this can help in developing the self, or in moving closer to the god or gods of the religion. Other people, and I include myself, belong to groups like this because they have a ‘secret teaching’ and we are curious about it. Some groups reveal their teaching slowly to members as a method of spiritual development. And sometimes, it’s just the plain fun of being weird and the desire to stretch one’s concept of reality by exploring an interesting area. I’ve learnt a lot of fascinating stuff by researching occult groups over the years. I should add that many NRMs don’t require that you ‘suspend reality’. Some do, but those are the ones to avoid. You need to keep a level head and retain a questioning mind to explore this area.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I’m Caucasian [off white] and sit on public toilets. Proudly. But only if they are clean. Yes, I use a spoon to taste and then put it back in the food I’m cooking. It’s surely no worse than the Chinese custom of serving yourself from a bowl in the center of the table with the chopsticks you eat with. Rather, my concern is that Westerners are too obsessed with cleanliness and that we tend to get allergic conditions as a result of not having our immune systems ‘toughened up’ by exposure to a few germs. Yeah, I sometimes do kiss first thing in the morning and ignore the bad breath. As Woody Allen said, ‘Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right.’ I like being a bit animal about such things. I do use a washcloth, especially after living in England, where the heavy lime content in the water tends to lead to a buildup of dry skin.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,If ‘He’ is the creator, Erin, then who created the concept of gender to which your God conforms ? Another thing. There is plenty of evidence in nature, all around us, that shows how complex organisms and other phenomena such as the moon and the stars develop from simpler organisms and phenomena. No, we weren’t there from the beginning. We developed over time. There is far more empirical evidence for this than there is evidence of any ‘God’ in the sense that you appear to use the word. I guess *I* am surprised that you wake up every day and feel able to ignore the evidence that your fellow human beings have found in relation to these matters, instead preferring to believe in a personal, anthropomorphic God, for which we have found no evidence. That’s what really surprises me about creationists.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I turned away from Catholicism for a number of reasons, some philosophical,others personal. I’ll deal with each briefly and should emphasise that these didn’t happen at a distinct moment- my preference changed over time. The God described by Catholics did not seem similar to my experiences of the spiritual- the ‘spirits’ I perceive to exist and that help me have a kinder, pragmatic quality that doesn’t align with what I was taught about the ‘jealous God’. When I tried meditation I became aware of a God-experience which can only be lessened by description. So the type of God I experienced turned out to be different to that of the religion I was raised in. I also like ritual and feel that it has a great impact on the psyche – the Catholic Church since Vatican II has jettisoned much of its ritual and magic. What was left of the ritual of the Mass seemed grey and uninspiring and I could see little point in attending every week. In a period in my state where decriminalising male homosexual acts was a hot issue, I was saddened to see at least one priest, who I knew to be gay, knuckle under pressure and call for the retention of the law ! At the same time the Catholic Church was being successfully sued by many people who’d been sexually abused due to its cover-ups and neglect. I hadn’t before believed the old mantra that the Church hierarchy were ‘out of touch’, but now it seemed very clear that the Church had a very poor understanding of sexuality and how to manage it, both within its own ranks and in the world. This was reinforced by a brief period where I boarded in a Catholic presbytery. The priest was a pedantic and rather cold young man, who seemed remote from his parishioners and treated me badly as his tenant. It got so I couldn’t take him seriously when he stepped onto the altar. For all these reasons, I gave Catholicism away.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I’ve had ‘flings’ when in a relationship. These are just one-off sexual encounters rather than ongoing affairs. For me, it was just physical, at a time when the relationship had died sexually, and perhaps ought have been put out of its misery, anyway. From my perspective, the trouble is that, being conservative, I was reluctant to admit, and get my partner to accept, that our relationship had ended.
Strangely, the fact of having cheated did make me more turned-on by sex with my partner. I suppose taking a walk on the wild side is a bit intoxicating after months of infrequent, routine or perfunctory sex with a partner. I must admit that I find the typical heterosexual affair, where the man or woman has quite an intense emotional [as well as sexual] relationship with their lover, while keeping the primary partner in the dark, to be quite baffling. I’m by no means trying to preach – I can have emotional and sexual relationships with a couple of men simultaneously, as long as we go into it on that basis and all parties know what’s going on – but being able to have that emotional relationship while keeping the primary partner in the dark just brings on too much guilt for me. But then, I grew up Catholic . . .
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,It may sound a bit of a hackneyed answer, but the one true faith is the one that you find within yourself. Any exoteric or externally manifested religon that you practise must conform to that, or it isn’t ultimately going to work for you. Therefore as your understanding grows, you may even find that the external religion you practise changes. You should believe me, because in the end you have to believe yourself.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,You could equally find lists of atrocities committed by Christians on Muslims, eg. the acts of the Knights Hospitaller and Templar in Palestine during the Crusades, or Christian pogroms against Russian Jews, or the current State of Israel with its U.S.-financed military actions against a largely Muslim population in Palestine. I’m sure you’ll find the odd riot in India instigated by Hindus against Muslims. There’s not much point looking for a set of atrocities that fit your own perceptions of the world and ignoring those that don’t suit you. It’s only when we can look beyond the sectarianism and try to understand why we as humans find excuses to do these sorts of things that we’ll move forward.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I don’t think it is imperative that the United States takes an important role.For some time in the early 20th century, it was rather isolationist. However, U.S. commercial interests now dictate that there is some intervention – in the Middle East the main factor has always been oil. The strength of the oil and car lobby in the United States and the active destruction of alternate choices of transport now mean you have few other options. (In the 20s the United States had a fantastic interurban electric rail system, the envy of the world. It was slowly bought up by oil companies, etc. and ripped up.)
Protection of ‘freedom’ is sometimes a reason, but mostly only when it tallies with commercial interests – note the example of Kuwait, in which calls for Western support for Kuwait’s democracy movement after the 1991 conflict were ignored as soon as the oil was flowing again. It’s not a uniquely American thing. In my country, Australia, the government spent years supporting the odious Soeharto regime in Indonesia for precisely the same reason: access to Timor Gap oil and gas.
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Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : corrections officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,
