Speaking as someone who has been in the situation I will tell you do not tell. Wait until you are comfortable and happy in your relationship. Speaking from experience even if you are a great person it will give the person a bad picture of you and truthfully if he is still forming an opinion of you then he will consider you a 'Hoe'. Do not lie if he asks but until you are sure this is someone that you want a long-term relationship from, there is no point telling. As long as you don't have any STDs.
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Name : Damian, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Rastafari, Age : 26, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Computers, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Do not give a bunch of details. That was the past and you are moving on. Regardless of how you feel about your sexual activities, it will not help to divulge too much info. I have been there. Even if your mate thinks he is understanding and open-minded, it will come back to bite you later. Humans have the tendency to be insecure and when any fidelity concerns arise in my relationship of 16 years, my husband brings up my past excessive promiscuity as a reason for not trusting me. Just be who you are today and don't borrow trouble from your past.
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Name : Shelley, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 40, City : Albuquerque, State : NM Country : United States, Occupation : accountant, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I would expect to hear about the two abortions prior to marrying a woman. How you relate those experiences is up to you, and the amount of detail you provide will probably depend on how much he wants to know. To some men it will matter a lot. To another, it won't matter much - and though you think you might know how he will react, he may suprise you. Of course, you could never broach the subject - in which case he may never become the wiser. And you may live a long and happy life together nonetheless. But you will think about it from time to time, and it may haunt you.
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Name : Jack, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 44, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : Management, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, I had been with this girl for 4 years, and like you she had her wild times and like someone else said, we all have the I had my own share. We were aware of everything, I even get two know a couple of guys and even my best friend spend a night with her before my time. I don't think the problem is whether you tell him or not, the problem is to keep the trust in the relationship, to be fully open with your partner. In my case she always knew were I was and whith whom, but like 6 months ago she started to hide stuff like people and places she went. Sometimes she even stay out until the next day. At this point the problem I think was obvious, she returned to the wild ways of before. So like a month ago we ended our relation. So my opinion here is, if you tell cuz you love someone and you are trully over it, try not to lose his trust beacause he will start to have bad ideas about what you are doing.
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Name : Iddy, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 29, City : San Jose, State : FL Country : Costa Rica, Occupation : Bookie, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Look, that was then, this is now. You need to let go of it by now. When I was in college I slept with 20 women in a year. As a guy, that was seen as a good thing. So what...it was casual sex. You seem very mature about it now. Just as I wouldn't be that way again, neither would you. The whole abortion thing is your private thing. Only you can decide to tell, and I'd wait until things got pretty serious. You never have to tell if you don't want to, however carrying that around is a lot of weight. I do have a friend, a girl, that got 2 abortions, later got married, and had a lot of trouble getting pregnant. She never told her husband about the abortions. They are happily married still.
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Name : Steve, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 36, City : Baltimore, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : Professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, Hi Laura, I echo Katherine's comments and commend her for making them. In any collective of people, norms and values dictate what is 'right' and 'wrong' and are often in conflict with individual interpretations of how a life should be lived. I personally live an alternative lifestyle, being bisexual. You can imagine the sort of reaction I'd get if I went around telling everyone here in the midwest about it. Likewise, there is a considerable number of people in the population who have done an even more considerable number of 'bad' things. They don't go around publicising their 'transgressions' (e.g. infidelity to a marital partner). All you have to do is look beyond the group norms you find your life encased in to find examples of alternative ways to live. You might be surprised that there is someone out there looking for someone just like you, because they have some alternative (e.g. not mainstream) take on life. This doesn't mean that you should tell all to all though. I ended up finding a partner of the opposite gender who happens to be bi as well. Imagine what a pity it would be if we both kept that a secret from each other all our lives - the angst and the secrecy and the lost intimacy that would result. Instead we can celebrate in it, and even at times enjoy some of the crazy memories we created before we got together. The world is what you make of it. Don't feel guilty, life's too short. This likely stands in stark contrast to the opinions of many, but it really shouldn't matter when it comes to your personal life. To me your question is less about kiss and not tell, and more about being confident and at peace with yourself. Respect others in their person and beliefs, be moderate when required, maintain an honest work ethic, and have fun in life - these should be amended to the 10 commandments in my opinion. Best, GSK
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Name : GSK, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : East Lansing, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, You are young yet & will make many more mistakes in life, the greatest of which would be denying your past. Wisdom is gained through ALL the choices we make in life ..good or bad. Besides, anyone who can't forgive your past will probably never filly accept who you are.
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Name : Bryan-F, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Native American, Age : 43, City : Bloomington, State : MN Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, Laura, I had an experience similar to yours except probably with more drugs and only slightly less sex. I am currently finishing a doctoral degree and am married to a wonderful man who has had his share of wild times also. You should not feel pressured to tell a new relationship anything that you feel uncomfortable with - remember, the experiences you have had have made you the person you are today. As you become more intimate with someone, situations may arise where you feel like discussing some of your past experiences. Then again, you might not ever feel like sharing. I have told my husband some of my stories and he has shared some of his also, but there are some areas of our pasts we have never touched on and prefer not to. Generally, when it comes to sexual experiences we agree not to share them because we feel like we should be focusing on OUR relationship and OUR sex life, not our pasts. Basically I think it comes down to compassion - even if you (or your husband) has done some things they are not proud of, it is NOW that is important - the relationship you share NOW, and the person you are NOW. While explaining parts of your past may help your significant other to understand you better, I don't think it is imperative that you share it ALL.
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Name : kara26749, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : native american/caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : denver, State : CO Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Hey, what you have done in the past shapes you as who you are now. Tell or not tell it is who you are, your choice. If he does not accept this, see ya.
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Name : Ingrid, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Salmon Arm, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Accountant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Here's a clue, sweetie - life is full of challenges and you had a lot of 'grading opportunities' in your past. But guess what - you learned those life lessons and became a good person. Don't ask someone to give you another grade on a class you've already taken - you got an A+ already! Don't feel guilty about who you WERE - it helped you become who you ARE.
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Name : Leslie H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 39, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, First of all - been there, done that - a long time ago. Make sure you have no STDs and are HIV-. That is crucial. Obviously you don't want to pretend to be a virgin. Nothing else matters in my opinion - don't lie but I don't think you have to offer the information. Who are you now? That's what matters. I agree with others who said - if someone will be so judgmental about your past I think you want to steer clear from them anyway. You sound great! Forget about the past.
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Name : S-Sullivan, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 56, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Secretary, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Here is a little bit of advise: Keep your past in the past and move forward. We have all done things we are not proud of, so don't voulenteer any embarrassing history. All of that crap about 'Do you want to be with someone who won't accept you.....' is totally silly and idealistic. Humans are human, rememeber. I used to think that love could make it all better till I was told somethings that haunted me. I still may have loved her, but the image wouldn't leave me. Most, if not all of us, are similar. Keep your secrets SECRET.
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Name : Steve-OBrien32478, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : Providence, State : RI Country : United States, Occupation : management, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, The first things you must ask yourself before 'confessing' are, why am I compelled to confess, and who will benefit the most from my confession? Generally the reason we confess our secrets is to relieve ourselves from guilt. If you confess out of guilt,then you should expect no less pain than the pain you already feel inside. Don't open a can of worms to benefit yourself unless your ready to face a lot more than a guilty conscience.
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Name : Leslie Doolittle, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : American Indian, Religion : Native American, Age : 32, City : Durant, State : OK Country : United States, Occupation : political scientist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Laura, everyone has something or somethings in their past that they are not particularly proud of and have done things that they aren't sure they should tell their partner. If you find someone and he is 'the one', there will be a right time to bring your past up and if he is the man you think he is, he will give you his unconditional love. If his love is unconditional as it should be, he will not fault you for the woman you were, but will love you for the woman you are.
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Name : Linda, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 36, City : Peoria, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Paralegal, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, If you're ready for a relationship, you should be ready to be honest and open with your partner. I would want to know how many guys you've slept with and if I really loved you, no amount would matter. Although you think it is not reflective of who you really are in any way, it actually is. You should totally be honest and tell a guy the truth, however, timing and presentation is everything.
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Name : bembol roco, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 27, City : seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : unemployed, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class, 
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