Had my husband told me about his 'history' early in the realationship, it would have ended. Early in a relationship, people are too self-conscious about themselves to handle that sort of thing. When you find someone that can brush off your past (even if it takes them a while) you have a keeper! PS- Long before we were married, I was comfortable enough with him to ask him if he had ever gotten anyone pregnant. When you can ask him this, you are ready to tell him.
User Detail :
Name : MrsCoop, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 27, City : E Stroudsburg, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class, Being a man, i have always been one to avoid too much info about my girl's past. Most people change and adjust as time goes by, and i would say if you don't have any diseases or other medical issues that could directly affect him, leave it alone. He likes the person he knows now and that is all you need as long as it doesn't bother you. Hope this eases your mind.
User Detail :
Name : Jim30711, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 35, City : Tampa, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : hospitality, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, Also consider this: You're in a relationship playing the part now of the good girl and as such probably make your new beau wait a respectable time before allowing him to take you to bed - without telling him of your checkered past. Later on he meets one of your former party dates or a friend of yours spills the beans or whatever. What should he think then? 'This girl's been LYING to me for all this time?! And to add insult to injury I didn't get in her pants for so long even after she banged half of the Eastern Seaboard. That must speak volumes about how she thinks of me.' If that was me and you weren't up front right from the beginning, I'd dump ya. Cheers, Jim
User Detail :
Name : JCD, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 35, City : Amherst, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Electrician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I can't speak for all men, but a lot of us don't pry into the past as much as women seem to. I don't want to know, names, dates, # of times you've had sex, etc all that bad. It usually creates some form of jealousy, and not the good kind. Tension, distrust, etc follow. Sort of out an of sight out of mind thing. That said, depending on the guy, and/or if it's eating you up inside, tell him, but not right away. And don't get detailed unless absolutely necessary. You can't make it go away, but you shouldn't dwell on it, you're not that person any longer. That will only put a curse on your current relationship.
User Detail :
Name : Jay31303, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Boise, State : ID Country : United States, Occupation : health care, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Laura, i believe that once you meet someone and feel you can be completely honest with that person, you should tell that person your past.If the person your with falls for the person you really are and then you tell him that you strayed from who you were for awhile, but have learned from you past he should understand, cause believe me guys as i know you are aware aren't perfect either!! See i try and be honest with every girl(6 to be exact) i've been with and i tell them how many i have slept with so that it is out in the open and so far besides 2, the girls has had more then me. but i didn't care. She was with me so why should i care.Anyway, back to you....lol...trust your heart and don't be hurt if the guy doesn't stick around...he isn't worth your time.
User Detail :
Name : Paul, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 23, City : Abilene, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : military, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class, It's not the destination, it's the journey. If you really care for someone and this person cares about you that person will want to hear about it and understand you have grown and changed.
User Detail :
Name : Debbie25778, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 35, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : food service/student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Don't lie. And don't volunteer any information about your past sex life. If asked, say you are not a virgin and leave it at that. If a guy pesters you about your past, he probably isn't the one for you anyway.
User Detail :
Name : Scott-M28179, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Vancouver, State : WA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Laura, please, if you really want to be with a guy and you are not trying to sabotage your relationship, PLEASE dont tell the guy! I've been married for 10 years and my wife's (soon to be ex, partly due to this very issue) prior immorality was a psychological shock and stumbling block to me. Further, it bothered me for years even though I loved her dearly and 'forgave' her. (That is to say, I really didnt even see it as something i needed to forgive. However, it caused me great emotional pain again and again.)
User Detail :
Name : craig, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 33, City : chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : police, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, well all i have to say is if your going to tell do it in that first stage of a relationship when your talking and getting to know each other because if you don't not right away but maybe a few months or even years when your reflecting on your relationship wandering if your in the right place with the right person your going to realize you were never fully honest with this person and it is extremely difficult to asses your love for someone if you haven't been truly honest with someone trust me just lost a marriage over it.
User Detail :
Name : michael, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 28, City : arcadia, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : NURSING, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Tough life! It's good to hear you're still standing. It's gonna be harder to find someone who's willing and able to sail on the same boat. That someone will more than likely have had a similuar life. For that guy too must be willing to shed baggage. 21 is an awful young age to be a veteran of the life. I grew up with a lot Life Vets. Some have rebounded, most don't. The ones that have it the hardest are the women. Most guys that I know wouldn't even take a second thought regardless of how attractive one may be. There comes a point when dicisions are made because of one's history. Can't turn back the clock, can't start over, can't go back to be the 'Good Girl' or 'Good Boy' that one was before. That's a bucketfull of B.S.! What you can do is continue moving in the positive direction and not succumb to the past. Fix yourself up,set yourself with a career that will take you in a positive direction. Stay away from the Life and disassociate with those people at all costs! You're the Captain of the Laura. She knows she's got a tough voyage ahead because her history created it. Good sailing!
User Detail :
Name : Oscar, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Humanist, Age : 49, City : Pima, State : AZ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Most men won't have slept with as many people as you. Particularly those in your age group. Few will be understanding regardless of their age or the number of women with whom they have slept. No one should judge, in my opinion, but they will. no one else can teach this to you but you will have to determine, through trial and error, the type of man that can accept people for they are and not prejudge on some notion of what it is to be a 'proper' woman. As long as you are 100% sure you are disease free, you don't have to tell anyone at first. while that will continue to apply, even beyond marriage, your posting this here indicates that you feel guilty about it. keeping a guilty secret isn't an easy way to live. I would suggest that you forgive yourself and accept your own choices. until then you will be bound to this mentally. whether a man accepts this about you or not, without forgiving yourself first, you may find yourself unable to give up a man that isn't right for you in other ways bound by thinking he is the only one able to give you the forgiveness you clearly need. most men would sleep with 10,000 women, four at a time, if they could. most of what would be unacceptable to them would be fear that they would be inadequate in some way. Don't let fear of any kind rule your life.
User Detail :
Name : stephen27815, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 33, City : Toronto, State : NA Country : Canada, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, a new man in your life doesnt need to know every little thing about your past-if he is curious just tell him that you went through some wild times and indulged in some premescuity when you were younger. this should be all he needs to know. anymore and, a man being a man, will become insecure about your sexual relationship together and will be constantly making comparrisons between you both.
User Detail :
Name : mat, City : leeds, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, I agree with some of the above posts when they suggest to tell the man when you have reached a point of trust. If you are planning on sharing the rest of your life with him, you must completely trust him and he must trust you. If he uncovered this information after a while, how hurt do you think he would feel? To respond to the message directly above: How can you say that your sex life is yours alone? Do you not interact with your partner on a level that is something special and something that you treat them with and no other? I know people often have multiple partners and in this case, many. This doesn't mean that most people don't have a strong connection with those they choose to have intercourse with. Also, if the guy has concerns on whether or not she had chosen to sleep with 20 other men, that is NORMAL, not a problem on his part. He's not looking for a boost of his ego to know that he's the first man between her legs. While I admit there are some guys out there who care nothing more than to have sex with whoever, there are many good, caring men out there who want to understand where their parnter is coming from so that they can better love them. Please do not become so feministically jaded as to rule out the entire male gender. That can do more harm than help.
User Detail :
Name : Devin25717, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Graphic Design, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I don't really agree about the virtue thing--I mean, that a woman's virtue shouldn't be measured by how many men she's slept with. I think that sexual purity is a valuable thing, not just for women, but for men, too, and that both genders should strive towards keeping themselves pure for their life partner. If they had a not-so-clean past, they can start again and not repeat their former mistakes.
User Detail :
Name : Maia, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Age : 23, City : Henan, State : NA Country : China, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, The most important part of a relationship is honesty. Im hoping that if you were with a man and decided to be intimate with him, you would want the truth as well. Its really the only way to be safe. So, yes, once the relationship has advanced and the two of you decide to be intimate, honesty is best. But heres the point, you have nothing to worry about. Because if that guy really cares about you, is worth while and really knows you, he will realize that everyone makes mistakes in the past and would not hold something like this against you.
User Detail :
Name : Kim26352, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 19, City : bakersfield, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Various, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences .
