Race/Ethnicity Questions 621-630

THE QUESTION:
R630: Please help me! I’m searching for a way to help my mom find her long-lost Japanese brother and sisters. The problem is that my grandfather was in the Korean War and had four kids with a Japanese woman. He was later discharged and took my mother with him. He died soon after I was born and my mom feels like part of her is missing. She knows little information, and people have been giving us a hard time. Does anyone know of any way we can get some information on how to find them? P.S. My mom is half black
POSTED MARCH 18, 1999
Tai, 16, Cablanasian, Chicago, IL
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THE QUESTION:
R629: I am dating a man from the Ivory Coast. He is very bright, polite and interesting. When I’ve shared my excitement with others, most of them have warned me that African men are controlling, sexist, macho. Their comments shocked me. I’ve heard some stereotypes before, but I did not realize how seriously people buy into them. Besides what I’ve said about my friend, these individuals do not know him. Why would they judge him so harshly? Have others experienced similar reactions when relaying happiness about a new romance with Africans or other foreigners? By the way, my suitor is a citizen, so my friends aren’t worried about him trying to get a wife for citizenship.
POSTED MARCH 16, 1999
Zawadi, black female, 34 <aquarius9@hotmail.com>, Detroit, MI

ANSWER 1:
I think your friends may be referring to the tendency of foreign men to display those characteristics. Although it is a generalization, American men have a much easier time accepting women as equals than men of most other nationalities. I have worked for European and South American men, and I am married to a Russian, so I have some experience with this. American women should not take for granted that they live in a relatively enlightened society. That said, it is not impossible for your beau to be the exception to the rule. The fact that he is already a citizen helps – he has had a chance to acclimate. I hate to say it, but some stereotypes exist and/or remain for a reason. I would definitely warn an American woman about a Russian man, even if I didn’t know him.
POSTED MARCH 18, 1999
M. Malcolm, American female, Boston, MA
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THE QUESTION:
R628: I have a friend who is half of an interracial married couple. They have two children. I could never ask her, but I’ve wondered how she felt when her children were born and didn’t look like her. She is blond and blue-eyed, and her husband is African American. Her children are beautiful, but wouldn’t it be strange at first?
POSTED MARCH 15, 1999
Lynn Marie W. <tenquid1@prodigy.net>, female, Minnetonka, MN

ANSWER 1:
I am blond and green-eyed, my husband is Asian and we have two children. When they were born, they had black hair and very dark eyes – but they were the most beautiful children I had ever seen, and I had no doubt they were a part of me. They didn’t need blond hair for me to feel that. It’s hard to explain, but it wasn’t strange for me. Maybe because they looked a lot like my husband and so they were familiar. As they grew, though, they changed a lot. Their hair lightened to a warm brown, and their Asian features softened – they look like a perfect combination of my husband and myself. Also, as parents, we see ourselves in our children in countless other ways than just their hair or eye color – their personalities, preferences, tendencies, etc.
POSTED MARCH 16, 1999
Victoria, 30, white female, CA

FURTHER NOTICE:
I am a mother of two biracial children. It may seem strange, but I am unaware of the differences in my appearance vs.my children’s appearance until it is mentioned, mostly by children, who are so uninhibited. I enjoy a child’s interest and lack of negative perceptions. I must mention that many parents have children who look very different from them due to the mysteries of genetics. Do you think a blond mother feels strange toward her brown-haired child? Please be open with your friend about issues you can share and grow from.
POSTED MARCH 16, 1999
Blonde Mom, white female, TN

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I was in an interracial marriage for 22 years. We had two beautiful children. My daughter doesn’t particularly look like me, but many other (same race) parents don’t look like their children, either. I never thought of it in terms of their being interracial. She is my child, and I was very glad to have her!
POPSTED MARCH 16, 1999
Chris R., 46, white female, Lincoln, NE
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THE QUESTION:
R627: Why is it that such a seemingly large percentage of black people can dance very well?
POSTED MARCH 10, 1999
Kenneth, male <larse005@csusm.edu>, San Diego, CA

ANSWER 1:
I think it is a matter of priorities and practice. I am black, and for a long time I couldn’t dance. At first I couldn’t even keep the beat. I used to think my sister had all the rhythm genes in the family. But not being able to dance really bothered me, so I kept trying. I would go every weekend to the clubs, and instead of doing what everybody else was doing, I just started moving with the music. Now I can dance just as good as she can; in fact, I think I dance better than she can.
POSTED MARCH 24, 1999
Brigitte, black female, Inglewood, CA

FURTHER NOTICE:
I just cannot think of anything blacks cannot do very well. While there will be certain activities in which one may see proportionally more or less black involvement – the degree being substantially influenced by a variety of economic, social and cultural considerations – I cannot think of any in which there is a black presence but no black excellence.
POSTED MARCH 24, 1999
Floyd L. , 58 , African-American male <lastchild@worldnet.att.net>, Memphis, TN

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
This is just another urban legend. Blacks are actually terrible dancers. As explained in the seminal documentary about the film career of legendary white dancer Fred Astaire, Yo! Yo! Pump up the Muzak!, blacks cannot waltz, tango or polka worth a darn. Frustration reached the boiling point in 1962 with the embarrassment of Chubby Checker’s lack of vertical amplitude while doing the twist. Rather than yield the dance floor to more graceful whites, however, resourceful blacks decided to take over the music industry, and achieved their goal following the breakup of the Osmonds in the 1970s. Blacks then doggedly led pop music through one failed chapter after another – disco, punk, metal, grunge, Weird Al Yankovich – until finally finding something they could dance to – the music you see on MTV today. If you tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and so on, we can all finally put this black dancing myth to rest.
POSTED MARCH 24, 1999
B. Hale, the only bad white dancer in the U.S.A. <halehart@aol.com>, Hartford, CT

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Well, this cracker can’t dance. A gym teacher once told me there are two types of muscle tissue: short twitch and long twitch, or something like that, and that how much you have of each is genetically determined. These tissues have different functions (fine movement, strength, etc.), and this explained why there were a whole lot of really good runners from certain areas of the world. I think – and who knows, because I got this sort of secondhand and without any proof – that those of African descent have more of one of these kinds than Anglos, and maybe that has something to do with it. This could all be hooey, too. I have no idea.
POSTED MARCH 25, 1999
Lorelei, female, Georgia cracker <kmarlowe@roanoke.edu>, Macon , GA

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I think the answer is in the culture. In white culture, children are taught that singing and dancing are for girls, and that sports are for boys. While girls are sent to ballet, boys are sent to Little League. Any child who dares to cross these gender roles is labeled a sissy or tomboy. In black culture, dance and singing is a respected art form with no gender roles attached, and used in church, in the family, and socially. There are no restrictions on it, so it is allowed to develop.
POSTED MARCH 25, 1999
Craig, 35, gay white male <cmorris@loft.org>, Minneapolis, MN

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I like gospel music. Years ago, I listened to a gospel station every morning on my way to work. The company that makes Aunt Jemima syrup was running a gospel contest for amateur groups, and one performance was featured every day. You wouldn’t believe what this stuff sounded like. It put to rest, forever, the idea that blacks have better rhythm, ears for music or any other talent needed to be a musical success. It also put to rest forever the idea that whites have other stereotypical talents. Those of us who do well at something do it well. Those who don’t, don’t. That’s all there is to it.
POSTED MARCH 25, 1999
Jerry, 65, white male <gmt@GTE.net>, Tampa , FL

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I think dancing is a matter of effort and commitment. I’ll give you an example. At Christmas I was flipping past BET and there was a group of people around a piano singing Gospel songs with all there hearts. It was nice to see. Truth be told, they weren’t very good singers. However, the effort these people were putting into their singing was total. I think you can use the same analogy for dancing. My guess is if a white person doesn’t consider himself/herself a good dancer, it is because their self-consciousness has taken over their ability to let themselves go and give it their best effort.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Mark D., male, <carlduffy@yahoo.com>, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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THE QUESTION:
R626: I’m an Asian and have been in Utah four years. When I travel to other states, people treat me nicer than here. I have lots of friends, and some of them who speak English as their first language tell me I speak English well enough for people to understand me. But I sometimes see people who seem to pretend they’re not understanding what I say. One old lady never talked to me even though I asked for the price of some stuff. Why do people in Utah act this way?
POSTED MARCH 8, 1999
Asian male, 23, Salt Lake City , UT

ANSWER 1:
I think Utah is about 80-90 percent white. They’re not used to people of other races, and may harbor some prejudices. I’ve lived in L.A. more than 10 years now, and I don’t think there’s a more multi-cultural city in the United States. When I go to Utah, I’m amazed by how many white people there are – and how many minorities I don’t see. It must have something to do with that Mormon thing… Good luck with it; I hope it’s not too bad. And by the way, if you want to go somewhere with lots of Asians to feel more comfortable, come to L.A.. There must be a million or more Asian Americans here.
POSTED MARCH 10, 1999
Kevin, thirties, white male, Los Angeles, CA

FURTHER NOTICE:
This is not an enlightened response, but … the Mormons in Utah have a reputation throughout the country of being clannish. They do not accept others into their closed society, whether they be Catholic, African American or Asian. I hope this helps you take the snub less personally.
POSTED MARCH 10, 1999
Lynda, 29, white female, CT

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Over the past several years, while living in Texas, I had several occasions to travel to Ogden, Utah (near Salt Lake City) on business. My impression is that Utah has the most amazingly homogenous population of any area I’ve ever seen, much more so than even a small town in the Southeast. There is no diversity at all! I suspect it’s not a matter of language fluency; it’s possible that you were the very first non-WASM (White Anglo-Saxon Mormon) they had ever seen in the flesh; they reacted to you as you might to a green, three-eyed Martian. It reminds me of another long, long business trip to Korea. This was not Seoul, but to a small city that might fairly be described as the Arkansas of Korea. This may be hard to believe, but I saw children see me and run away screaming, terrified. I was the first round-eye they had ever seen. I imagine your experience was similar to this, but it is hard to imagine it took place in the United States.
POSTED MARCH 10, 1999
Jesse N., male, Herzliya, Israel

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I know that Utah is a very Mormon state. I have spoken with many Mormons after living in Las Vegas. Here is what they have told me: Mormons are above others. They have told me the whiter you are, the closer to God you are. My close friend lived in Utah for a while when she was younger and was told by the teachers in her school that she was worthless and could not participate in any activities because she was not good enough. They even prejudice their own by income levels. I knew another Mormon man in Vegas who had asked to be married in the beautiful temple that only those who gave the most money to could attend (made of ivory and gold). They told him no, he did not give enough and so he was not worthy to be inside. He believed them.

Mormons can be good or bad, like anyone else. Even if we do not agree on spiritual beliefs and the way others should be treated, I have had them as friends. I think what I described, though, could be part of the problem you are having.
POSTED MARCH 10, 1999
Cindy, 28, white female <Cindy@mail.voyager.com>, Los Angeles , CA

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Since I am not from Utah, I cannot speak for that area and their possible prejudices. However, I work in New York City and come into contact with a number of people of varying ethnicity every day. One man here at work has a very thick Hispanic accent, which I find very difficult to understand. However, most of the other people here understand him perfectly. On the other hand, bring in someone with a thick Irish or British accent, and I can understand them clearly, while others cannot catch even a word. From college, I have come to understand Asian accents better, but even Asians who speak English very well can sometimes confuse me. Some people can deal with different accents better than others. People with hearing problems often have more difficulty than others, for example. Perhaps that is the kind of situation you are running into.
POSTED MARCH 10, 1999
John K., 25, white male <the-macs@geocities.com>, Cranford, NJ

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
You should be careful bout characterizing Utah as a Mormon state. Salt Lake City is only 55 to 60 percent Mormon. You’ll run into a lot more non-Mormons than you might think. There is some reason behind why Mormons are labeled as “clannish”: They have certain values (no smoking, no drinking) that make many of them feel uncomfortable around individuals who don’t hold the same values. People in general tend to make circles of friends with other people with the same interests. One other thing, the Mormon religion does not discriminate based on income levels. They do require a tithing (10 percent of income) to go to a temple, along with other worthiness requirements, but for a tithe it doesn’t matter if it is $10,000 or $10. Anyone worthy can go to any temple in the world.
POSTED MARCH 18, 1999
David, male <david@paracel.com>, Pasadena, CA
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THE QUESTION:
R624: What is a “Chinese Firedrill” and where did that expression come from? I hear that expression humorously applied to any confused or chaotic activity involving a bunch of people, but have no idea how that could relate to Chinese people OR a firedrill.
POSTED MARCH 4, 1999
Becky T., 51, female <bthacker@iupui.edu>, Indianapolis, IN

ANSWER 1:
A Chinese fire drill is a sort of game. When a car full of people is stopped at a red light, everyone jumps out, runs once around the car and gets back in. Quickly. Before the light changes. There’s no real point except silliness. I don’t know where the name comes from, but I think we can assume there’s an ethnic slur involved, since a regular fire drill has a point, and a Chinese fire drill is a pointless exercise.
POSTED MARCH 9, 1999
Marcia, New York, NY
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THE QUESTION:
R623: To African Americans: What is a “stepshow?”
POSTED MARCH 3, 1999
Jarrett B., white male, 38 <jburch@mindspring.com>, Augusta , GA

ANSWER 1:
A stepshow is a fraternity/sorority social event. Usually several frats and sororities gather to perform/compete in a step (which is a performance routine that includes dance/ “step” routines, singing, etc.)
POSTED MARCH 8, 1999
Gregory, 21, black male, MD

FURTHER NOTICE:
Although I have never been in one myself (I am too shy), I have seen quite a number of them, and they can be quite multiracial, sometimes. They are about rhythm and timing. People will stand in rows, or move forming different shapes and everyone stomps their feet, claps and smacks their thighs, or spins around, doing dance moves, creating a harmony of sound with their own bodies. It’s pretty cool to watch, too.
POSTED MARCH 10, 1999
Jennifer, black female,18, NJ
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THE QUESTION:
R622: Why are the “sh” and “ch” sounds often reversed by folks whose first language is Spanish speak in English?
POSTED MARCH 1, 1999
K. Smith, Waco, TX

ANSWER 1:
Spanish speakers have a hard time distinguishing between the “sh” and “ch” sounds because “sh” is pretty much obsolete in the Spanish language. However, the hard “ch” sound is extremely common, and hundreds if not thousands of Spanish words begin with those two letters. As a matter of fact, Spanish dictionaries have a separate section, after the letter “C,” for words starting in “Ch.” So when a Spanish speaker is trying to pronounce a word starting in “sh,” it is logical that their tongue would tend to pronounce it “ch,” which they are so used to. It’s funny that you ask, because I have always wondered why English speakers can’t seem to pronounce the “ch” sound correctly. My last name is Chavez, pronounced with a hard “ch” and the accent on the “a,” like Charlie. But for some reason, many white people I’ve met insist on pronoucing it “Shavez” or “ShaVEZ,” even after they have heard me pronounce it correctly. Go figure.
POSTED MARCH 3, 1999
Erika C., 23, Mexican-American chick, Allentown , PA
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THE QUESTION:
R621: To people of mixed-race or multiple heritage: How do you feel about being classified as one race or another? Do you identify with one race more than the other? Does that depend on which parent’s race you more closely resemble? Are you ever angry with your parents for not “sticking to their own”?
POSTED MARCH 1, 1999
Roger T., male, 40-plus, Asian/Caucasian <roger.thomas@home.com>, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

ANSWER 1:
I think being mixed race mkes you realize just how arbitrary and foolish racial classification is. I have Mexican, American Indian and Anglo ancestry. Generally, if I’m clean-shaven, people think I’m Indian, but if I let a beard grow, I’m seen as Mexican. But some Latinos will see me as “white” because my Spanish is weak, even though I’m as dark as Jimmy Smits. I call myself both Mexican and Indian, but my sister, who came out so light that whites often unwittingly make racist jokes around her, will always mention our Irishness. Appearance certainly plays a part in how you identify yourself. I think any resentment for “not sticking to your own” is crazy and flat out racist ugliness. Indians have been mixing since Cortez. It is opposed to every principle of traditional spiritual belief to be racist. So-called “race mixing” is not a problem; it is one of several solutions to the United States’ problems with “race.”
POSTED MARCH 3, 1999
A.C.C., Mexican and American Indian, San Antonio , TX

FURTHER NOTICE:
I am a multi-racial female (my mother was Swedish American and my father half Mexican American half African American). I embrace all of the cultural and racial richness that flows in my veins. I proudly volunteer for a couple of African-American organizations, but would also feel very comfortable to take part in a Hispanic organization as well. For generations, my family has looked beyond color, physical challenges, looks, religion, etc. I am a proud American rich with ethnic heritage and cultural experiences that I cherish.
POSTED MARCH 3, 1999
Kathy, multi-racial, 40-plus, female, Saginaw , MI

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
My father was Indonesian and my mother is Caucasian, born in the United States but raised in France and Southeast Asia. My skin is light olive, and most people assume I am Caucasian. But I grew up in an all-white town (Middletown, NJ), and was subjected to beatings and constant verbal abuse because of my race. I assumed it was because of my appearance but now know it was because of my Asian surname. My bitter childhood and adolescence has left me with major anger issues. It enrages me when people say “Well, you look white to me.” Even though I am a Caucasian American culturally (the clothes I wear, the way I speak, the music I listen to) I wish to be called Asian because I want to distance myself from my childhood tormentors.
POSTED MARCH 9, 1999
Al, 33, Asian/Caucasian male <crabrangoon@mindless.com>, Boston, MA

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
When someone asks me what nation I am, I most often respond that i’m Ojibway, Potowatomi and Scottish. Not because I want to give equal notice to all of my heritage, but that’s who I am. I connect with my mother’s race more than my father’s, but that’s partly from my own beliefs, since women are respected in my culture and come first before me. And I don’t blame my parents for being of mixed heritage, because I believe we choose our parents.
POSTED MARCH 10, 1999
Myiingan, Ojibway, Potowatomi, Scottish <doublej_J@hotmail.com>, Ontario, Canada

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Thanks to those who responded, but I really would like to hear your opinions about how and why people of mixed racial ancestry “classify” themselves. For example, someone here in Victoria stated publicly that anyone who is at least 10 percent black is legitimately able to call herself or himself black. Why, on what basis and how are these criteria set? Aboriginal people involved in land claims issues tend to say that you have to be at least 50 percent aboriginal to share in land or money given to settle claims. In South Africa, under apartheid, people were excluded from mainstream society by the slightest “non-white” ancestry. Here in Canada, people now use any degree of “ethnic minority” ancestry to claim preference to jobs to try to remedy past discrimination against minorities.

My questions relate to such things as what are the “rules,” who makes them, what do people think of them, do they vary from region to region, and what do people of “mixed-race” ancestry think of them? As a society, we may one day use blood tests to (among other things) determine exactly how much Asian or Caucasian or African heritage each of us has. Will that be a good thing or bad thing? What if the human genome project proves that we are all descended from a group of humans who lived in (what is now) Africa several million years ago? Will that help end discrimination on the basis of race? The answers to these sorts of questions are determining public policy even as I speak.
POSTED MARCH 24, 1999
Roger T., 40-plus, Asian/Caucasian/? <roger.thomas@home.com>, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
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