Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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- Part of Christianity is converting others, and many Christians take that duty seriously. Often I am approached by well-meaning Christians who somehow believe I've never heard their arguments before and if they can only get through to me they will be able to convince me to join their religion. While I'm up for a good discussion any time, it gets very tiring to have the same conversation over and over with different people. Plus, I know I'll never convince them that I'm right (I wouldn't want to; I have no wish to interfere with or change their beliefs) and I come off as a bully if I try to prove that their religion doesn't make sense. Another thing about Christians that bothers me is that often they will use logic and reason to try to convert me, but abandon it when it goes against them. I find that very dishonest. Finally, because many Christians are hostile to homosexuality, they have created an inherent animosity with me and other gay people.
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Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,1) Gay men do not necessarily have anal sex, and if they do they likely don't have it 'night after night' any more than a woman who has sex is likely to have vaginal sex 'night after night.' 2) Anal sex for men stimulates the prostate gland and therefore can be pleasureable. Even some straight men enjoy this stimulation. 3) Assuming you regularly have bowel movements, you yourself are already using that area of your body daily without harming yourself. 4) You are guessing that your 'bowels would hurt like hell' based on your impression of what anal sex is like, and not on the facts. It is no big deal to learn to relax the sphincter, which is just a muscle. Regularly relaxing it does not loosen the sphincter muscle any more than having bowel movements every day for 80 years does. People who regularly engage in anal sex are not scared of it, do not tense up before doing it, and in general have a better awareness of that area than people who don't have anal sex. The popular phrase 'it's an exit not an entrance' is funny, but doesn't really describe the facts; the sphincter muscle doesn't care if it opens in response to pressure from the outside or pressure from the inside. To prove this, consider infants when they are given anal medication or laxatives: there is virtually no discomfort, simply because they have not yet learned to fear or tense up when someone approaches their anus.User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,I appreciate where you're coming from, and as an atheist I can honestly answer the question 'Where did we come from?' with 'I don't know.' I just don't. It doesn't bother me - there are a lot of things I don't know. When you answer that question with 'God,' it just raises more questions in my mind, and it doesn't seem to get me any closer to a 'truth.' 'God' seems like a way to wave your hands and say, 'There, now I know the answer,' but in fact you haven't explained or proved anything. I'm glad you find comfort in believing that God created everything, but to me the issue of how it all was created is just not important in my life. Interesting, sure, but not important. You accept God and your religion; I just accept the world I live in.User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,Speaking as a gay man, there are many reasons that some gays adopt feminine attributes, but it is important to realize that the vast majority of gays do not dress or act like women. While the gays who do act like this garner the most attention, they are a small minority. This doesn't make them bad, by the way.A gay man may choose to be effeminate because a) he is effeminate (we all know young boys who act like young girls at a very early age and never grow out of it), b) they feel the rejection of society and want to rebel against it by becoming outrageous, or c) they feel a camaraderie with other gay men by rejecting societal norms. They might also be catering to the population of straight men who want to feel like they're with a woman but also want to be with a man. There are all kinds of people out there, and some gay men like straight-acting men (most, in my experience), while others like effeminate men. After all, if there were no market for effeminate men, they'd probably be very lonely and change their behavior.
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Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,Many reasons. First, war has been declared against us, and non-combatants get killed during a war. Bin Laden and his troops are the enemy; the Taliban is their puppet government; Afghanistan is their country. Second, we (unlike them) aren't purposely targeting civilians (in fact, we go out of our way to avoid them). Third, we know one of the typical cowardly actions of these murderous animals who cower underground is to hide military assets among their innocents, both to protect those assets and to propagandize the deaths of those people should the assets be destroyed. Finally, the deaths we cause in Afghanistan are a tiny fraction of the deaths deliberately perpetrated by the Taliban on their own people for "religious transgressions," and the destruction of the Taliban will save far more innocent lives than it costs. These terrorist cowards are not civilized, they are not acting in a civilized manner and our response to them is far more civilized than they deserve. While we have no animosity toward the poor people of Afghanistan, monstrous, evil people walk among them and must be destroyed.User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,Tre's definition of 'terrorist attack' is wronhg. A terrorist attack is not an 'unconventional attack.' It is defined by a variety of things: it is aimed specifically at innocent civilians instead of military or political targets. It's purpose is to kill those people even though they have absolutely nothing to do with the 'conflict.' Terrorist acts are planned anonymously by masterminds who hide among normal people in order to diffuse any possible retribution (using civilized people's concern for innocent lives to protect themselves as they work to destroy innocent lives). Finally terrorist acts are characterized by the terrorists willingness to exceed the evil that men are able to comprehend. When skyjacking first began it was unthinkable that anyone would risk the lives of hundreds of people. Now these monsters have extended the bounds of 'thinkable' to include crashing hundreds of innocent people into buildings containing thousands of innocent people. This is hardly the equivalent of dropping a smart bomb (so named because it is capable of striking an specific target and minimizing loss of innocent life) on an airport after weeks of announcements of our intentions, and many opportunities to avoid such attacks by the simple expedient of handing over a murderer. The 'paralysis' that Tre believes proved the success of the terrorist attack of 9/11 in reality saved many lives. For example, closing the stock market prevented some of the people who knew about the attack from cashing in on it, which will probably save many lives in the future as those funds certainly would have been used to kill more innocents. The freezing of all airline flights definitely prevented a repeat of the barbaric actions taken by the Muslim fanatics, some of whom were already on board flights which did not take off. A terrorist act succeeds only if the attacked country does something to mollify or satisfy the invisible perpetrators of the acts because it fears a repeat of them. I don't know of any terrorist acts that have succeeded in giving the terrorists what they want, unless what they want is to spread the hate that infects their hearts to the rest of the world.User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,You're right Eric - they did throw it out. Once again the military has suspended "Don't ask/Don't tell" (just as they did for the Gulf War) because they need all the competent soldiers they can get. Again they demonstrate that the policy is merely an excuse to drum gays out of the military, and that gays in the military do not represent a threat to its operation or readiness. I guess prejudice is a peacetime activity. Oh, and your humor was not lost on me, about pretending to be gay. Just be willing to kiss a man to prove it!User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,Americans certainly have a different attitude than you do. You're right about the two weeks vacation and no retirement salary (to us this is an oxymoron - a salary is what you get for working, not for not-working) if you've never worked. (But how do people who've never worked support themselves? What do they do all day? How can they retire if they've never done anything? And doesn't it feel bad to you when you've worked your whole life and they've done nothing but sit around and spend the money you pay in taxes?) The 'firing just before you retire' question is mostly false, though it has been known to happen. Retirement plans (aside from the government's Social Security) vest over many years, and even if you get fired the day before retirement, you'll still get all the money you've contributed up until then. There are also ways to move retirement funds from job to job, so if you change jobs you'll keep all the benefits you've saved from previous ones. Finally, Americans enjoy being productive and succeeding, and we dislike relying on the government or anyone else to bail us out. We pride ourselves on not needing others to support us, and if this means working very hard, we are willing to do so. That doesn't mean we are always happy and motivated working, but we are happier when we are working and getting by than we are when we are not working and getting welfare checks. We want to succeed, but the price for success is hard work and the possibility of failure.User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,There's no single reason men act that way. Some gay men are definitely more effeminate than others and identify with women and their mannerisms - you might even recognize them when they are still children, acting more like little girls than little boys. I don't believe they make a conscious choice to do this - they just feel more comfortable adopting the mannerisms of the women around them than they do with those of the men.Some gay men who act effeminately are trying to prove a point. That point may be 'I am different' or 'I have my own culture and don't need yours' or something like that. It may be defiant, or it may be just for fun, but they can turn it on or off at will, and it's not their 'natural' state. Others act that way just to fit in with the gay people around them. It can be a common bond among gays, because it is an affection that no straight man would normally adopt. Especially in gay 'ghettos,' you'll find ordinary (gay) men acting like that even when no one else is around just because they do it all day long. I think it is important for straight people to understand what gay people often eventually realize: there is nothing shameful in acting effeminately. In the straight world, men are supposed to act like men, and it is often a disgrace for a man to cry or show any womanly traits. Because of the coming out process, overcoming the internal shame of being a homosexual, many gays finally realize it is not shameful for a man to act like a woman - we're all just people and can act any way we want as long as we don't hurt anyone else. Maybe for some, acting effeminately is a manifestation of this realization - it's no big deal.
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Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,It sounds like you're talking about circumstances vs lifestyle choice, rather than emotional attachment vs non-emotional attachment. People *do* form emotional attachments even when they don't intend to - look at straight men in prison, who form real relationships with other men out of necessity. Even with that relationship, they're still not gay - they're straight men in a relationship with a man because of circumstances. Your all-girl school girl is probably going through the same thing. She probably *will* form some emotional attachments with other girls, but when she finally leaves the school her true, natural tendencies will eventually surface and she will search out relationships with one sex or the other (or, I guess if she is bisexual, with either one). The important thing to remember is: there are no rules. Having a relationship with someone does not brand you as either straight or gay - your emotions will do that, as soon as you are in a situation where you can freely choose.User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,It could be some of both, and it is most likely unconscious on both counts. Unless you have evidence of one or the other, it does no good to speculate. And by the way, gay people do the same thing, just as much as straight people do, and for the same reasons. Haven't you ever used your feminine wiles to boost your own ego, or to try to convince yourself you're straight, or just to get something you want? I have (with masculine wiles, that is).User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,Do you mean that the enjoyed sex is nothing more than a mechanical act that causes pleasure, and carries no emotional weight? It sounds like you're saying the other person, coincidentally of the same sex, is simply an object, a tool that is being used for sexual satisfaction. While this is certainly possible, it isn't healthy. Human beings tend to form emotional attachments even when they don't intend to, and the unintended consequences of this are that one or both parties will get hurt. Add to this the confusion of societally disapproved gender roles, and it's just asking for trouble. If there's truly no emotional attachment, masturbation's a better choice. Be careful, though, that the emotional detachment isn't just a way to protect oneself from the difficulty in coming out as a homosexual.User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,I think it is naive to think that people are not aware of the power, sexual or otherwise, that they hold over others. Some people are leaders because they command respect, and some people are respected because of their attractiveness. Naturally, people will use their power, but it is disingenuous to claim they don't know they're doing it.User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,
