[FreedaBee]

It sounds to you like 'wedda', but the word is huera (maybe huerra) and it's pronounced more like 'where-a', or 'where-o' (huero) to refer to a guy. It basically means white girl or white guy in a positive kind of way. Like, if you hang out and are accepted as part of the group, even though you're white instead of Hispanic, you might get the nickname Huera or Huero.

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Name : FreedaBee, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 39, City : Orange County, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[FreedaBee]

That would be racist regardless of what the other person was doing. Obviously the use of the name Shanaynay in this context refers to the sometims creative, or unique, names of African Americans. If you said 'Star Jones' instead of 'Shanaynay' it might be different because Star is a particular person known for certain things and you could mean 'You need to stop trying to get things for free' or 'You need to stop buying all those Payless shoes.' But, when you use a black-sounding name that doesn't refer to an individual, what you're really saying is, 'You need to stop going all black on me' and that is rude and racist.

User Detail :  

Name : FreedaBee, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 39, City : Orange County, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[FreedaBee]

The way I've always understood it is that gayness is determined by the pitcher/catcher roles. Now, there are men in the gay communiity who are primarily pitchers; but they identify as gay and might be labeled as a to'. For the down-low guys, though, the only ones who are gay are the catchers. So, you can have sex with another guy, but as long as you're the pitcher, you're not gay because you're still in the dominant/male role. The catcher is gay because he's in the submissive/female role. It's the difference between doing and being done-to.

User Detail :  

Name : FreedaBee, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 39, City : Orange County, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[FreedaBee]

I have a few thoughts. First, I don't think it's unusual to be attracted to gay men. Many of them are absolutely gorgeous! For so long, gay men we're so much better at making themselves physically attractive that when straight guys caught on they had to invent a word for it - the good old metrosexual - and came up with a tv show (Queer Eye) so that straight guys could get help from the gay guys. How could you help being attracted to a guy who's in shape, has great hair, smells good, is well-plucked, etc.? Second, I don't know about your boyfriend, but I know a lot of guys who think there's nothing hotter than seeing two girls (as long as they're attractive) together - it's a staple of every porn film on the shelf! Okay, so most of them aren't real lesbians, but would your boyfriend think it was weird if he found a hot lesbian attractive? Would you think it was weird if he did? Hot is hot, regardless of the sexual orientation. Just becasue they aren't sexually attracted to you doesn't mean that you can't find them attractive. He should feel reassured knowing that a gay knight in shining armour isn't going to sweep you off your feet and take you away. Third, and finally, maybe he finds it a bit threatening. I mean if you're attraced to gay men AND you're attracted to him, maybe he's worried that you're attracted to him because there's something about him that reminds you of gay men. If that's the case, remind him that, aside from the having sex with other men thing, gay men have a reputation for being attractive, well-groomed, well-dresses, understanding, compassionate, etc.

User Detail :  

Name : FreedaBee, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 39, City : Orange County, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[FreedaBee]

I think that mostly white people have a problem identifying others by race because we fear that people will somehow think we're racist. I have friends of other races who have no problem using a person's (white or other) race to identify them. I agree that it is simpler to say 'that black guy' rather than trying to think of some other way to point out who you're talking about. For instance, I was having lunch with friends from work and one woman was telling a story involving a co-worker. She tried all kinds of ways to point out who she was: 'she always wears expensive shoes,' 'she's really pretty,' 'she sits in the cubical by the door,' etc. Finally, she just said, 'You know, she's the black woman,' and we all collective said, 'Oh! Her!' We knew exactly who she meant because she's the only back woman in the department. I think it's okay to do it and no one will think badly of you if it's for the right reason. It's no different than saying, 'The blonde guy' or 'The guy with glasses.' However, if you say something like, 'I almost got into a car accident because this black guy cut me off,' then it will probably come across wrong because his being black has nothing to do with cutting you off.

User Detail :  

Name : FreedaBee, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 39, City : Orange County, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

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