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DominiqueParticipantI think the other guy who responded to this is right and gave a lot of options I hadn’t thought of. I particularly want to address that use of ‘my baby daddy.’ I don’t like it much, either, because most of these rap songs seem to glorify that state of motherhood. However, a lot of these black women are young and have a skewed idea of a relationship with a man in addition to motherhood. But I wouldn’t reduce it to just black. I think other races do, too – I know several whites, Asians and Mexicans who are married and have children. For some reason, though, it seems like something to keep hidden and maybe be ashamed of in other races, and so it is not broadcast in the same way.
I also agree with the other person when he said black people do not participate in abortion as much as other races. I think that is true, especially among lower classes, who couldn’t afford it even if they wanted to. And unfortunately, lower-class black people are often the individuals having children out of wedlock.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantYes I find men’s bodies attractive, but scary at the same time. For some reason, to me, the genitalia of a man is very, how shall I say, ‘out there.’: I’ve said this to men, and some respond that women’s genitalia isn’t all that pretty either, which maybe be correct, but I don’t think it’s as ‘out there’ as men’s. I don’t know if that makes sense. Long story short, I think men are attractive, but not in the same way women are. Even though I’m straight, there are a lot more things beautiful about a woman, like her soft skin, hips, breasts, face, legs, etc. For me, it’s usually just face and skin color and hair for men.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantI kind of understand what you’re going through. I grew up in California, which is pretty diverse. I had all types of friends: whites, Mexicans, Asians, Africans, but I barely had any black friends except for at church. Most of the black girls made fun of me at school. Of course, they were a lot more clear about the reason why, as opposed to your experience. Basically it was because they thought I was trying to be white, simply based on appearance, I think, because they never conversed with me. I guess this was because I didn’t dress like them or listen to certain types of music, and the people I hung out with made me appear that I wanted to be something that I was not – namely white. A lot of black people don’t like blacks trying to be white, and to them, I guess I was that type of person. So I completely understand your situation. But please don’t dismiss black women altogether. As someone said, there are a lot of friendly black women out there. I would wonder where you’re meeting these mean black women, because there is such a thing as ‘ghetto,’ and it has no restriction to color. But besides that, if another black woman confronts you in that way, find out why. And if it’s for the reason I mentioned, tell them you’re not that type of person. Sooner or later, just like me, you’ll come across black women who are not biased like that. But you have to not be biased, either. If you are, in the end, you’ll be the one at a loss.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantI agree there are a lot of white men who like black women. However, I’m not a fan of anyone liking anyone based partially or solely on race. I know a white guy who seems to have dated only outside his race, and predominantly black women. I think he has a fetish, but there are white men in the world who like, love, fantasize and ‘fetishisize’ black women. If a white guy does become attracted to you, though, find out why, and if I were you, make sure it’s because you’re a beautiful person inside and out, and isn’t just based on skin color and myths surrounding black women.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantThanks so much for responding to my inquiry. If you know any more misconceptions or know other people who might, please let them know about my question. I’m interested in getting several misconceptions.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantYes, there are a lot of historically negative things from the South, and there are those in the North as well. And just like the North, there are a lot of beautiful things, too. Have you been to New Orleans during Mardi Gras? Have you been to historically black areas in Atlanta? Have you seen the wonderful landscape in Savannah, Ga.? There are a lot of good reasons to move to the South. I have family that live in Jesup, Ga., a small town not far from Savannah, where everyone knows everybody by their first name, people say hi to you on the street, there are large houses and barely no violent crimes. These are very good reasons to move to the South, whether you’re black, white or any other race. And yes, you might have to deal with racism and historical references to black slavery, but to be honest, you’re going to get that anywhere. Hopefully you’ve noticed that racism extends outside the South, and often is worse in other areas.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantMy mom had an afro in the ’60s. She told me it was the hardest but culturally inspiring thing she ever did. It was hard because an afro is not as simple as people think. Every night she had to braid it into 10 to 12 plats. When she woke up the next morning, she had to take out the braids and pick her hair out and even it out all around. If she didn’t do this, it would get extremely nappy and unmanageable. So I can imagine why some black women decided they would rather go to the beauty shop every other week rather than do that every day. Ironically though, my mom still has an afro, but much more manageable because it’s very short. I prefer natural hair (I have twists), but I can understand that having natural hair takes time, and some black women really don’t want to spend a whole day doing their hair. Although pressing and perming takes time too. Go figure.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantI wouldn’t go so far to say as the other responder did that the only Americans are Native Americans. I understand where that person comes from, but I consider myself American. I was born here, grew up here and relate most to things here. But no, I’m not a native, and except for Native Americans, all of us are foreigners. I think African American began when politically correct terms began. Suddenly it wasn’t Chinese but Asian American and so on. I think the reason for this is that we’re moving further from the first generation of people migrating to the United States. Now there are Asians who were born here and identify with their Asian heritage as much as they do their American culture. As for African American, it is really what you said: Africans who came to live here in America, a long time ago. Of course it was not as voluntary as everyone else, but blacks are descendents of Africans, and they live in America. So your definition was surprisingly right; you just had to think about it in a different way.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantFirst, don’t think that ‘black’ women want anything the same as a group. I imagine as a black woman i want very different things than other black women. What you need to do is find out what she, as an individual, wants. What she, as an individual, likes as gifts, etc. If you think she likes you, and always make sure under any cirucmstance, then I imagine she would want you to be youreslf. No one likes a person who is not being themselves, espeically a white guy who acts black. Never do that. That’s one thing I know most black women wouldn’t want. Respect her, as you should do every woman, and just be ‘real’ if you know what that means. Basically, honest, warm, and patient. Good luck!
User Detail :
Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantI agree on both sides. Yes, light skin girls are elevated as more beautiful and it is due to the media. And there are ignorant, soft-egoed men you participate in that. However, I’m brown in the truest since of the word, and I don’t feel that threated. Actually, I feel kind of bad for light skin girls because they are more often going to be limited by their looks. No one will think to see anything else beyond appearance, and that’s just wrong no matter what. I think I’m beautiful, and it has nothing to do with my complexion.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantThis has always been a touchy subject for me as an African American, and not for the reason you might think. I know very well the historical negative meaning of this word, and it is quite unfortunate what blacks had to go through in the past. But what makes me angry today is the use of it among black be BY black people to refer to other black people. In other words, blacks use it to refer to each other in a brotherly or jovial manner. I read the two responses, and just like the second guy said, yes, a word can mean whatever you want it to mean, but one must consider the historical ramifications of the word. I don’t like it that of all the words on the planet, blacks chose that word to mean ‘brother,’ etc. It reminds me of a class I took in college: ‘Race, Class and Gender.’ The section was about how certain loaded terms that have one specific historical, often degrading meaning are ‘recycled’ to mean something new. For example, the word ‘fag’ used to be a derogatory term used often by heterosexuals toward homosexuals. Now, gay people used it to refer to each other, much like blacks use the ‘n’ word. Wow! As I’m writing this I realize it’s a tough subject to address. On one hand I guess in theory it’s uplifiting that blacks can take such a historically negative word and use it positively, but on the other, I can’t bring myself to want to use that word in this new, positive fashion. To conclude, I think it’s something that deserves a lot more disucssion, which I hope will take place. The use of nigger by black people is controversial but debatable. But when used by white people, it’s uncalled for, even if they don’t mean anything bad by it, and blacks know this. The reason for this is that the word was created in a negative context by white people to degrade and dismiss black people. And it’s much harder to look at that word positively when coming out of the mouth of a white person. That is just the way it is; ask any black person and they’ll agree.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantI agree with the other two who responded: Odor is very subjective and cannot be generalized to such a large group or race. I think some of my white colleagues smell like old balogna, and it’s true for them, but I wouldn’t go so far to say all white people smell like that. That’s like saying Asians smell like fried rice. It’s a stereotype, not a truth. It often has to do with hygiene.
User Detail :
Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantAlthough I sympathize with your disgust with black men liking white women, I don’t think all black men are into white women. I have a wonderful black man who likes me, and yes, he’s aware of the fetish for white skin, but he knows white women are just trouble because of his own personal reasons, so no white woman should take offense.
User Detail :
Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantThere are way too many ridiculous stereotypes based on race out there, and this is one of them. There are plenty of white women who wear shoes too small for them. Why don’t you ask these people, and if you can’t, then do not stereotype.
User Detail :
Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
DominiqueParticipantI reluctantly admit that I do, too, but not when it is sweaty, and not the smell of other people’s butts. Now, if you’re straight, how are you smelling other MEN’S butts?
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,- AuthorPosts