Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences
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As someone whose background is in broadcast journalism, I’ve heard this question asked before and often wondered it myself. I think liberal and progressive people (who by nature tend to question authority and challenge convention) are drawn to news coverage because news, by its nature, is new, unconventional and challenging. I also think conservative people who enter journalism eventually find themselves becoming more progressive in their thinking after having to confront ideas and personalities that may be at odds with their own. For instance, I believe the main reason the media tend to be supportive of the lesbian and gay community is that reporters find themselves often interviewing the same gay people that middle Americans might prefer not to have anything to do with. The fears and misconceptions tend to fade away – much to the consternation of the Religious Right.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,While there are all sorts of choices to be made in terms of one’s BEHAVIOR, one’s sexual orientation (whether Gay, Straight, or Bi) is innate. My being Gay is as fundamental to me as being right-handed. It is not something I learned, since I had no Gay role-models while growing up. Nor is it something I was ‘seduced’ or ‘recruited’ into, since I knew quite well that I was Gay years before I became sexually active. I am 41 years old, and I have perceived the world, other people, and relationships through the same eyes and the same mind God gave me from birth. As far as I can tell, God made me Gay. I believe that God created the genetic factors responsible for my sexual orientation. I am also coming to believe rather strongly that if the genes responsible for a homosexual orientation are expressing themselves more often in the human population, it’s probably God’s way of saying that six billion people on this Earth is TOO MUCH.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,Speaking from both personal experience and years of research, one’s sexual orientation (whether gay or straight) is something one is born with and is therefore unchangeable. While we all have choices to make in terms of sexual behavior, ‘sexual orientation’ and ‘sexual behavior’ are different things. For instance, if I were not in a long-term, committed relationship, but instead had decided to be celibate, I would still have that basic attraction to members of my own sex, and that is what defines me as a gay man. It is something I cannot change, and even if I could, at 41 years of age I’d hate to have to relearn everything.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,My partner Greg and I recently celebrated 15 months together (i.e. since we were introduced; no legal marriage yet!), and for all practical purposes we’re just like any married couple: We sleep together at night, and sex is not as frequent as it was at first (though it’s still just as enjoyable). Each day we tell each other ‘I love you,’ not to reassure each other, but because we mean it. We are monogamous but not judgemental of other couples who might be in more ‘open’ relationships. Greg is my love, my life, and my inspiration. I can’t imagine life without him.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,First, concerning which ear to pierce: The RIGHT ear is the ‘gay’ ear. Or rather, it WAS the ‘gay’ ear. Pierced ears for men didn’t start becoming fashionable until the late 1970s at best, and usually men would pierce the left earlobe with an inconspicuous diamond or silver stud. A gold ring was considered somewhat more daring. The left ear was chosen for the same reason boutonnieres, medals or insignias are worn on the left side of the chest: It was just convention, nothing more, nothing less. For gay men who had the courage to let others know, wearing an earring or stud in the RIGHT earlobe was a subtle way of saying, ‘I’m different.’ But this was really very early on. As the years went by and men began getting multiple piercings in both ears, the whole ‘gay ear’ thing went by the wayside. Today many gay couples favor wearing their wedding or committment bands on their right hands rather than their left, pretty much for the same reason. As for nipple piercings, they are much more common among gay men than straight at the moment, although like so many other fashion trends, more and more straight men are starting to catch on. As for myself, I have never been pierced nor inked. It’s my way of expressing my individuality.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,It’s not necessarily the word ‘rainbow’ but rather the rainbow flag that is most associated with Lesbian & Gay pride. Although its presence has become very familiar, few of us are aware of how the rainbow became the symbol of the the Gay community, and what it really means. The rainbow itself has long been a symbol of various things for as long as there have been people to look into the sky. An early representation of the rainbow appears in the Buddhist symbol for good luck – a wish of success in all your endeavors. Our six-banded rainbow flag is intended to represent our diversity: We are everywhere, we are everybody. Every class, religion, race, educational level, occupation – you name it, we’re there. The flag as a whole has come to represent pride in the diversity of our community. The rainbow flag design dates to 1978, when Gilbert Baker was asked to design a symbol for the San Francisco Gay & Lesbian Freedom Day Parade. As Gilbert described his design, ‘The idea of a flag the color of the rainbow hit me as a natural symbol from nature … There’s an implied multiculturalism to it, an all-encompassing aspect …’ The six bands (red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet) traditionally represent, respectively, life, healing, sun, nature, art and harmony. Baker’s original flag, however, also included two additional bands: Hot pink (sexuality) and indigo (spirit). The hot pink stripe vanished almost immediately because Baker’s flag was hand-dyed, and when the flag began to be produced by others, hot pink fabric was nearly impossible to find. The indigo stripe disappeared when a grief-stricken community turned out to mourn the assassination of Harvey Milk (San Francisco’s first openly Gay supervisor) and the coordination of the parade route required six colored bands go down six streets. The elimination of indigo was the most practical.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,You have used many of the same arguments against gay marriage that opponents of interracial marriage used 30 years ago. We call such arguments ‘red herrings’; they are used to draw attention away from the question at hand, and that question is, ‘Why do lesbian and gay couples want to marry?’ The answer is simple: We want to marry for the same reason straight couples get married. We want to declare before our families, friends and God that we have made a commitment to each other, to love, honor and respect each other through all the good and bad times that may come. How on Earth can you equate a loving, monogamous relationship between two gay adults with incest or the deliberate sexual abuse of animals or electronic equipment? My suggestion to you is that you get to know some gay couples, ask them if they would like to get married, and if so, ‘why?’ I predict you would find that gay and dtraight couples aren’t so different after all.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,As an AIDS educator and longtime gay activist in West Virginia, I have been to my share of meetings and health conferences at which the subject of monogamy has come up. After combining those discussions with what I have seen among my gay male friends and acquaintances, I have concluded that 70 to 75 percent of gay male couples agree to ‘open’ relationships, while the remaining 25 to 30 percent prefer monogamy. So it is quite possible for you to find a partner who is monogamous. You may have to try a bit harder, though, and it may require patience. I am very happy to be ‘married’ to a man who values monogamy as much as I do, but I am by no means judgmental of those who prefer ‘open’ relationships. Many such couples mutually agree to the freedom to ‘play’ with other men as long as the solid emotional bond between the two of them can be preserved. For some, this freedom actually seems to strengthen the relationship. Personally, I would not feel secure in such an arrangement. My partner Greg and I are sufficient for each other, thank you very much.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,Let’s put aside the fact that homosexual behavior has been observed in animal species on many occasions. I think you have answered your own question. The reason many human beings are homosexual is that we are ‘higher’ animals, just as human beings have so many other unique psychological and social capacities. Homosexual activity in human beings is more than just animalistic ‘rutting.’ Who I choose to enter into a relationship with and/or be intimate with involves much more than the fact that he is male. It also involves aesthetic appeal, interpersonal ‘chemisty’ and our ability to communicate in mutually fulfilling terms. And consider how much richer the world is for the presence of lesbians and gay men. As social commentator Fran Lebowitz once remarked, ‘If you removed all the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would be pretty much left with Let’s Make a Deal.’
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,You claim that your co-workers ‘stare’ at you the same way you might ‘stare’ at a woman. What makes you stare at a woman? Her beauty? Her aesthetic appeal? Perhaps people stare at you for the same reasons. You should be flattered. On the other hand, if it makes you uncomfortable to have Gay men look in your direction, what makes you think that women feel any differently when you look at them? If a woman you are staring at happens to be a Lesbian, how comfortable do you think she feels? It sounds like you have some very real insecurities you need to deal with. You also need to get over the notion that Sraight people are ‘normal,’ and Gay people are not. The best way you can do this is to make a conscious effort to include Lesbians & Gay men in your circle of friends. There is no better way to overcome your fears and insecurities by getting to know Gay people and, in the process, seeing them as valuble and respectable human beings.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,I’ll assume this exchange is taking place in a ‘neutral’ environment such as a shopping mall or a museum, and not at a gay bar. First, you must keep in mind that most men are straight and would not welcome the attentions of other men who confess such attractions. That having been said, however, there is the significant possibility that the object of your attraction is indeed gay or bisexual. Eye contact is important: If the man engages in longer-than-usual eye contact with you and accompanies it with a friendly smile, that’s a good sign. Striking up some conversation is the next step: Are you in a music store? Have you noticed that the object of your affection is interested in a lot of the same recording artists as you are? You might remark, ‘Oh, that’s a great CD.’ Different social environments call for breaking the ice in different ways, but once the conversation has started, you can begin to gauge how interested he might be in you depending on how much personal information he chooses to disclose. If you already have a lot of gay friends, your ‘Gaydar’ may be sufficiently well-honed for you to figure out whether the man in question might welcome your attentions. If you have not confessed your attraction to him, and yet he agrees to join you later for a beer or a bite to eat, you may have at least made a new friend. If anything, be discreet, and don’t rush things.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,I must admit, there is some truth to those stereotypes, just as there is some truth to stereotypes about any other ethnic, religious or cultural group. Stereotyping is a kind of classification system that all human beings indulge in, but the hazard lies in overgeneralizing, in assuming that stereotypes apply to all people in a particular group. That having been said, I think many gay men are more natually gifted than straight men in fields that require some artistry, creativity and style. Show me 10 male hairdressers, and I’ll show you at least seven gay men. In years past, many of us in the gay community did everything we could to combat such stereotypes, thinking them negative. But today, many of us have come to accept the fact that we are genuinely different. If anything, I think it illustrates the fact that one’s sexual orientation in innate, not chosen.
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Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,
