Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 22 replies, 23 voices, and was last updated 17 years, 10 months ago by
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- Why does it seem that most male hairdressers, florists, entertainers, interior decorators and clothing designers are gay? Also, why do so many gay men seem to be into showtunes? Of course there are exceptions, but there really does seem to be some truth to those stereotypes.
Originally SO134. Click here to see responses in original archives.User Detail :
Name : K., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 20, City : Potsdam, State : NY Country : United States,I must admit, there is some truth to those stereotypes, just as there is some truth to stereotypes about any other ethnic, religious or cultural group. Stereotyping is a kind of classification system that all human beings indulge in, but the hazard lies in overgeneralizing, in assuming that stereotypes apply to all people in a particular group. That having been said, I think many gay men are more natually gifted than straight men in fields that require some artistry, creativity and style. Show me 10 male hairdressers, and I'll show you at least seven gay men. In years past, many of us in the gay community did everything we could to combat such stereotypes, thinking them negative. But today, many of us have come to accept the fact that we are genuinely different. If anything, I think it illustrates the fact that one's sexual orientation in innate, not chosen.User Detail :
Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer,How many gay me do you know? I know or have known hundreds, and very few fit the stereotypes you mentioned.User Detail :
Name : Tony, City : San Francisco, State : CA Country : United States,I don't buy that you're allowing for enough diversity in your assessment of gay men. I know more than my fair share of mature, adult, professional gay men who have varied musical, fashion, and cultural sense - some loathe the overt 'silliness' of some 'queenie' individuals, while others just think it's cute and a nice memory, or altogether off-putting. You'd never guess one of my best friends, a blue-collar, steer-roping, horse-training, truck-driving fisherman, was gay.But, to be true, those who had a difficult road on the path to coming out, or just recently stepped into the light, do tend to enjoy many, many, representations of sweetness, joy and overt happiness - and sometimes that takes a Gershwin tune, doncha think?
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Name : Kathryne, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Methodist, Age : 28, City : Birmingham, State : AL Country : United States, Occupation : Consultant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I would have to go right along with Tony and Kathryne and ask just how many gay men you know. I have many, many gay friends and only one really fits the stereotype. Maybe you should add a little diversity to your life.User Detail :
Name : Chip32128, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 28, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I've noticed this stereotype as well. Maybe those are the types of positions that allow those people to express who they really are.User Detail :
Name : Dawn, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States,Could it be that the effeminate, hair-dressing men are not more common, just the most identifiable? The truck driver, steer-roper, body builder, businessman, etc., may be gay, even if it's not stamped on their forehead. The fact remains: You cannot identify a gay person by looking at them. I don't "look" queer, but I am. Which, by the way, is hell for getting dates.User Detail :
Name : Kerry, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 29, City : Ventura, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I don't have any Madonna, Bette Midler, Judy Garland or Ira Gershwin in my music collection. I'm into rock and roll (and no, I haven't any Melissa Ethredge or Elton John, and I absolutely hate Cher). OK, I do have Queen. I can't dress with any amount of style and have a hard time picking out sheets, much less artwork or a stylish couch. And my hair is cut short so I don't have to ruin my hair (what's left of it) with a comb and mousse. My gay friends all think I'm an alien, or a straight pretending to be gay. Sometimes the stereotype gets twisted back the other way, too.User Detail :
Name : Trace, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 33, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : Technician, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Men are better at knowing what looks good on a woman. Gay or not, men are still men, and they are great with clothes, make-up and cooking. I have two male gay friends who are gourmet chefs, so they do fit in the women's world of jobs nicely - better than women fit into men's work.User Detail :
Name : Peggy, Race : American Indian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 37, City : Yuba City, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Property Manager, Education level : 2 Years of College,You may not be able to tell which person, in which career, is gay or is not. I know of not one study that has been done on the subject. There is no secret handshake, no special haircut, no sway to the walk, no high pitch to the tone of voice, no earring ... NOTHING that positively identifies someone as gay (or straight). These are simply stereotypes. Could it be(and more likely) that you are so conditioned to associate these things with gays, that you walk through life deciding whose gay based on these misconspetions? Also if you were indeed correct in your observation (and I not convienced you're correct, as opposed to misguided)it would make sense,in homophobic America that straight man would less likely to enter into career fields deemed 'feminine' or 'gay' careers. For fear of being wrongly labeled 'gay' or 'fiminine' based solely on a career preference. And most straight men with there homophobic fears are not secure enough to disregard the opinion of there peers(other straight homophobic men). When was the last time you heard a straight man bragging about his son's accomplishments as a dancers,hairdresser,florist, etc,etc(all of which are unfairly denoted as fiminine or gay career choices)-regardless of the sons sexual orientation? And compare that to the last time that you heard a man bragging about his sons accomplishments in football, baseball, sexual prowess, boxing,stockmarket(unfairly denoted as masculine interests)? These are all just food for thought.User Detail :
Name : Mardi, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 29, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : accountant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,As a gay man who fits neither the occupations nor the stereotypes you listed, I've wondered about this myself. My best guess is that many gay men feel emotionally stifled when growing up, by the stiff-upper-lip mentality that society and parents teach to boys. The one common thread among many so-called 'gay icons' such as Barbra Streisand or theater in general seems to be emotional overstatement and/or flamboyancy, which gay men would see as a refreshing opposite of having to hide their emotions and/or behaviors while growing up. Finally, the elevated appreciation of beauty (hairdressers, florists, etc.) could be because gay people can have an understandably ugly perception of society at large. By the same logic as above, beauty would serve as a comforting refuge from the not-so-beautiful things that can happen to gay people. But that's just my theory, and I'm sure it just scratches the surface. Also, one must consider that the ones who fit the stereotypes are a minority within a minority; they just happen to be the most visible.User Detail :
Name : Dennis, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Graduate Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,The occupations you name are more open to differences than others. But some are huge closets, such as Hollywood and even the legit theater. Show tunes? Some do, some don't. Have you seen Musicals101.com? Nice site. Are you bothered by the issue? Relax. Even in those fields there are problems. Remember that our community has supplied a good deal of what straight people take as their own when they aren't noticing the source. They sing out songs from Porter to Disney films, they tell the Anderson fairy tales. They marvel at the sculpture and the Sistine Chapel. The Importance of Being Earnest is among the most produced comedies in English, probably, by my rough count, and Oscar Wilde was in jail when they pulled his name off of it. We have seeded at least Western culture with icons, monumental works and most of the fun. It's only the credit we're lacking. Go have a haircut and 'do with a really talented queen and enjoy.User Detail :
Name : Richard, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Disability : CFS, City : Newark, State : DE Country : United States, Occupation : Actor/Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,There are a few reasons one might think this. First, society has set up an expectation of what it means to be gay. This cultural construction of a gay man is someone who speaks with a lisp, has a limp wrist, etc. When you see someone who fits this stereotype, you assume he is gay. But the only way you can tell if someone is gay is to read their mind and know about the feelings of attraction they have. Second, gay children growing up often feel as if they are different from others. This difference sometimes directs them to be interested in things that are also considered 'other,' such as a male hairdresser. Going along with my first point, many young gays feel as if they must fit the cultural stereotype of a gay man, even before they realize they are gay. Gay people can be black, Asian, white, designers, firefighters, unemployed, good-looking, fat, bald, etc. They can be anything. However, most people associate them as only looking a certain way or being associated with certain things.User Detail :
Name : Jeremy30934, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Presbyterian, Age : 22, City : Ann Arbor, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,One of the best answers I've read to this question is discussed in Randy Connor's book Blossom of Bone. He asserts that homosexuals have historically been more in tune with their creative and spiritual natures than heterosexual males - perhaps centuries of derision and persecution have forced homosexuals to find more creative ways to express themselves and discover the beauty that surrounds us, which most people take for granted. They may also be more creative by nature (the gay gene?). By the way, do you know why so many straight guys are interested in sports, fights, guns and cars?User Detail :
Name : Khephra, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Thelemite, Age : 41, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States,
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