[T.C.]

I have never heard the phrase used as such, but if you read the FAQs for the Internet newsgroup alt.english.usage, you'll find that 'to call a spade a spade' was not originally a slur, although in present usage it can be taken that way via another popular phrase 'black as the ace of spades,' referring to a deck of playing cards: http://www.english-usage.com/faq.html#fxtocall

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

The only comments I hear consistently about women are those about their driving skills (and women who put on makeup while driving don't help). One of my buddies jokes that whenever he's on the road and encounters a female with poor driving skills: 'Women drivers...no survivors.' Personally, I see no difference overall in the way men and women drive.

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

Are you confusing lifestyle with orientation? Yes, I have chosen a homosexual lifestyle, but if you are implying that orientation is a choice for everyone (yourself included), I would ask you to name the time and place that you chose to be straight; if you never faced the choice, why it is that I supposedly had to? In addition, your logic concerning genetics is flawed; homosexuals can indeed reproduce (and sometimes do), only not with one another, which provides for a small but definite ability to pass on a possible 'gay' gene. Because those carrying a gay gene would rarely reproduce, it would be more correct to say that homosexuality would never become common -- from a geneticist's perspective, it would be 'selected' against.

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

Thank you for asking for honesty. If it comes down to it, I think my true feelings for grossly overweight people are a total disgust at what I consider a lack of respect. I know there are people who, for various reasons, have weight issues that are beyond their control. I try to remember that when I start to judge others I don't even know, but when I see people gorging themselves, or blocking the entire aisle at a store as they drag themselves along breathlessly, or sitting next to me on an airplane with their bodies and limbs spilling over into MY seat and pressing me against the fuselage, my reaction is that they have no respect for others, for the limited resources on this planet, or for their own health and well-being.

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

While I think that both the fast-food industry and parents are at fault, maybe we should consider the actions of the French division of McDonald's, which recently ran ads suggesting that children shouldn't eat at McDonald's more than once a week. Maybe if America's citizens and companies acted as responsibly we wouldn't have this pandemic of obesity in our nation.

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

What an interesting observation. Now that I think of it, I rarely put things directly in strangers' hands. If I'm at the airport, I usually put my ticket and drivers' license on the counter and slide it over to the agent. If I'm paying for something with a card, I usually slide the card across the counter and over to the clerk; if actual money is involved however, I usually hand the currency (especially the coins) directly to the clerk (I think I actually POUR the coins). I think maybe it's an unconscious avoidance of directly touching the hands of someone I don't know.

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

This is a very good question. Serene's comments make sense, but there are indeed times when you might need to reference a specific individual and you don't know a name. For example, if I'm at the gym with my partner and we see two guys talking (one of them white), is it wrong for me to tell my partner, 'The black (or African American) dude is the instructor for my spin class' when the races of the two guys are their most obvious distinguishing features? Should I avoid using race to distinguish individuals altogether? Should I instead say something like, 'the dude in the red shorts' or 'the dude to the left' or 'the dude with his back to us' or 'the dude that is slightly taller'? It seems as if this could easily get ridiculous.

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

I've always been fine with tattoos on other people, but until about a year ago I never dreamed I'd want one for myself. Tattoos have become very popular in Phoenix, and last month I gave in and, after careful consideration, got a tasteful tribal armband tattoo on my upper bicep. Most comments I've received have been positive ones, but occasionally I'll get one of those 'why did you do that???' stares. That's why I got mine on my upper arm; I can wear even short sleeves and no one but me knows it's there. Comes in very handy during business meetings. I do agree that a person should picture himself or herself with that same tattoo at age 65 before making the plunge. A tattoo isn't something you can easily undo.

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

Monique, can you please identify for us the time and place you chose to be straight?

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

The word 'twink' refers to, at least in my experience, a very young (think college-age) gay male. Sometimes I've heard this word used to describe attractive, buff young men (like the VERY young frat boys you find at the gym), but typically when someone says 'twink,' it can be read to mean 'body by Nautilus, brains by Mattel' - i.e. the boy's clueless but otherwise fun to fool around with.

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

Last year, when taking swimming lessons, I was having trouble staying afloat. My instructor remarked that it could be because of my body composition, and that the body composition of many African Americans had the same effect: an inability to float easily.

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Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[T.C.]

When I read this question, I was instantly reminded of a wondeful book by Barbara De Angelis, 'Are You The One For Me?' in which she talks about unfinished business from childhood. It could be that their fathers were abusive. If so, in their adult lives these women seek to 'finish the business' of childhood in their mates. If the father was abusive, that may mean trying to 'fix' an abusive spouse or perhaps punish her father through him. When someone in a family is dysfunctional (such as a father), very often other members (such as a daughter) adapt to their behaviour and become dysfunctional themselves. At any rate, when the daughter seeks a spouse, she may (unconsciously) seek someone who treats her like her father--better the devil you know, as they say.

User Detail :  

Name : T.C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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