Stephanie

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Viewing 6 posts - 16 through 21 (of 21 total)
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  • in reply to: How do I know if I’m gay? #14371

    Stephanie
    Participant

    Generally, if you think you are gay, you probably are, at least to some degree. I started questioning my sexuality around your age, and now I identify as lesbian/queer. There are two things I’ve learned about sexuality over the last few years: one, sexual orientation isn’t static; some days/weeks/years I am more attracted to women, sometimes I am more attracted to men. Two, sexual orientation is best expressed on a continuum like the Kinsey or Klein scale (do some searching on google.com for these terms.) I generally feel like I am a ‘4’ on the Kinsey scale, meaning I am ‘predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.’ That said, all of that technical talk doesn’t really help with the second part of your question. I grew up in a very conservative Methodist household in Oklahoma, and I wasn’t secure enough in my identity to come out until I was halfway through college. I came out last year, at 22, and I am still dealing with prejudice, mostly from my parents. When I did come out to them, I was armed with a pile of books I’d read and the support of my friends. You might want to check out the gay & lesbian section of your local bookstore — don’t be shy! It can give you a lot of ammunition for dealing with nay-sayers. Take care, and feel free to email me if you have any more questions.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stephanie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Norman, State : OK, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    in reply to: Upper middle class ignoring lowest class relatives #32280

    Stephanie
    Participant

    Hmmmm. This is a rather problematic question. I come from a mixed-class background. My mother’s family is relatively wealthy, as my grandfather (and his father & grandfather before him) was a doctor, and my great uncle owns several large car dealerships in the city. My father’s family is from a rural area and doesn’t have much money. I don’t believe that my mother’s family is more well-off because they worked harder; I think they simply had more opportunities and a better education to support their dreams. Frankly, my ‘lower-class’ relatives are my least-favorite relatives, but that’s because they are narrow-minded fools that are impossible to have a relationship with, not because they are always trying to get money from us! Most of them in my father’s generation actually have college educations, but their educations were driven by a desire for a ‘career’ to take them out of the lower class. My mother’s middle-to-upper-class relatives have broad, liberal-arts educations that have given them the keys to fulfilling and interesting livelihoods, and they are much more educated, open-minded and interesting to be with.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stephanie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Norman, State : OK, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    in reply to: OK for bisexuals to use gay slang? #20314

    Stephanie
    Participant

    I’d like to concur with Mike! My queer (gay/bisexual) friends and I all use ‘gay slang’ when we’re talking amongst ourselves. It’s like a sign of our intimacy and shared experiences as queer kids. And definitely, since we live in a relatively homophobic environment, it makes it easier for us to just roll our eyes at the close-minded bigots around us. That said, some gay people are more sensitive and are still offended by terms like that, so I wouldn’t recommend doing it in mixed groups. It should just be an ‘inside joke’ between friends who know each others’ boundaries.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stephanie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Norman, State : OK, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    in reply to: Why is America so anti-tourist? #40880

    Stephanie
    Participant

    I have to agree with Antonio — I’m not sure what you’re experiencing is a hatred of tourists. In service jobs like you mentioned, Americans do crappy work for crappy pay with crappy (or NO) benefits. We don’t get guaranteed vacations– and sometimes we have to work on Christmas, Passover or other religious holidays. We don’t get health insurance for ourselves or our partners. We don’t have clean workplaces or understanding bosses half the time, either. It takes a very strong person to go to these jobs every day and still keep smiling! Granted, I live in the south and people down here put on a better facade sometimes (try Southwest Airlines… I’ve never had a nasty flight attendant with them) but otherwise… eughh.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stephanie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Norman, State : OK, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    in reply to: Do we men all have to hit the weights? #44723

    Stephanie
    Participant

    I am totally with T. from Germany: personality is my number-one turn on, no kidding. But once I’ve got my eyes on a guy, a nice lean body, with lovely hands, beautiful eyes and a cute little butt, is a definite plus. (oh, hey, I just described my boyfriend right there. lucky me. 🙂 Sure, a little muscle tone can’t hurt — men (and transitioning guys who are on testosterone) can quickly develop nice arm definition with just a little work. But huge muscles (not to mention the hours those guys have to spend in the gym) annoy me every time.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stephanie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Norman, State : OK, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    in reply to: Older guys: so? #27549

    Stephanie
    Participant

    Well, Katherine… first of all, your parents assume that an older man will pressure you into sex, and mommy and daddy never want to admit that their daughter could be a mature human being who may be ready for sex. (Whether he really will pressure you into sex doesn’t matter to them; at age 19, I was dating a man who was 28 and I was the one to initiate sex, but my parents worried non-stop about whether he was pushing *me*!) Also, isn’t the age of consent in Texas 18 years old? If you have sex with a 19 year-old, he’d be committing statutory rape. Talk about trauma for both of you. Also, since you say you are Baptist, and from Texas, I am going to guess that your family is relatively conservative and probably somewhat religious. That must factor into their feelings as well. I won’t try to preach to you about the decision you should make, but if you do decide to date older guys, at least try and listen to your trusted friends, if not trusted adults. They might see danger signs of a bad relationship (like a power imbalance) before you do. Good luck!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stephanie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Norman, State : OK, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
Viewing 6 posts - 16 through 21 (of 21 total)