Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 12 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 21 years, 1 month ago by
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- Do people who are relatively successful feel that anyone with a work ethic could get where you are? If you have poor family members or relatives, do you feel they're poor because they are lazy or immature, and do you avoid offering them help because it would turn into never-ending leeching?
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Name : Deanne Y., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 46, City : Tampa, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : disabled, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class,I am 'relatively successful,' and yes, I feel that anyone with a work ethic could get where I am. However I feel that it would also take a lack of obstacles like race or mental impairment. I don't feel like my poor relatives are lazy or immature but they certainly have different priorities than me. I feel like this is what holds them back. I feel that they envy my success but do not see the sacrifices I made to get where I am. I offer them all the help that they ask for, but they seem to be doing OK without me.User Detail :
Name : Carlton-B19253, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Computer specialist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I think that it takes more than just hard work to become successful financially. Life is all about choices, and the choices people make early in their lives have a big effect on how things turn out. Choices whether or not to go to college, start a family, save money or run up credit card debt, etc. These choices are affected by the personality and aptitudes of the person, their family situation, environment and so on. So its a lot more than just laziness - but then with some people that is their problem. Others are always in a bad way because when faced with a choice, they always seem to pick the worst option. Some people lack the opportunities or family support. I offer help to certain family members, but not others. It depends on the person and the situation.User Detail :
Name : Lucy-H22364, Gender : F, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 25, City : San Jose, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I have relatives that are poor, and I do think they are lazy with a very low work ethic. I consider myself upper middle class. I don't make a salary that compares to what a lawyer makes, or what Ted Turner makes, but I can afford a large house and have a comfortable living. My relatives, on the other hand, have zero interest in making any effort to better themselves or provide themselves with a comfortable living. I'm 32 with a wife, two kids, large house and a mini-van. Some of my relatives are in their 60s, on welfare, in a trailer park and no education to speak of. Where did these people go wrong? In a single word... Discipline. I believe anyone can do anything as long as they have a little self-respect and a lot of discipline. If you get a half-decent education, you can do anything. I don't have a master's degree or a Phd.; I have a trade. And even with a trade, you can get a very good-paying job. When you show desire and initiative, people will notice you, and then you start getting better offers. I do not lend money to my poor relatives because I know I won't get it back. It's not that I can't afford to give it to them, I just believe that I'm not doing them any favors by giving handouts. If that is the lifestyle they choose, why should I be the one to bail them out? I find it amazing how people in North America take education for granted. And free education at that! Every time I watch COPS or Jerry Springer, I cannot believe how people will allow themselves to live by the lowest common denominator. I honestly believe that we should adopt China's philosophey in that if you don't acquire a certain level of living standard, you are required to be sterilized so that you don't bring other children into this world. Why must our children suffer poverty because you are too lazy with no self-respect? Many of my poor relatives have called me materialistic. Am I so materialistic that I am able to afford a car that doesn't break down every other day? Or to be able to afford a well-built house with no structural problems or with the impending doom of foreclosure? Or being able to feed my children healthy food so they are able to perform well in school so that they are able to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle? If any of my relatives are reading this (even though half of you can't read), I mean it when I say, DIE.User Detail :
Name : Murray C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 31, City : Halifax, Nova Scotia, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Draftsman, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,I have poor relatives. Material poverty does not come from being lazy or immature alone. Mostly it comes from lack of education, both formal or life/social. I don't believe work ethic alone will get you ahead; it will make you a living (sometimes barely) but not a lifestyle. The recipe is Work+Save+Invest (in that order) sprinkled with God (goodness and spirituality) all over. Work is not only working hard, it's preparing your mind to be the best at a productive field in accordance with your talents. Saving is not only stashing money away, it's not incurring expenses in early life (like having kids before having a complete productive education). Investing is not playing the Lotto or consulting psychics, it's studying the economy and learning how to get a return from what you saved, which came from your work. God (goodness) is the most important factor.Be happy and content with what you have but strive for more without doing harm to others, and enjoy the MAKING of monetary success. This recipe is my help to my (money) poor side of the family. Lending them money is not helpìng them, it creates the leeching that you mention (I lend only for investments and medical reasons). If you give a person a fish, you feed him for a day, if you teach him HOW to fish, you feed him for life.
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Name : Nelson-A20192, Gender : M, Race : race=white, ethnicity=latin, Age : 31, City : Caracas, State : NA Country : Venezuela, Occupation : lawyer/business, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I grew up in the upper middle class. My father said that he would support us as long as we stayed in school, but then we were on our own. I dropped out of college and joined the Army. My dad was proud of me for that, but he kept his promise. I went back to college when I got out, but supported myself. I was so poor that I got most of my food from Winn-Dixie dumpsters. Since then, it has been my habit to live below my means. As a result, I retired at 40. You must distinguish between the permanently poor and the temporarily poor. The temps are rising out of it thru patience, self discipline, and making rational decisions. The permanently poor seem to do so by 'snatching defeat from the jaws of victory' time after time. For instance, I have a friend who was maried to a man who operated construction machinery. He made upwards of 60k/year. But he also would get a wild hair and go buy expensive and useless toys (motorcycles and boats for instance) and finance them thru ripoff finance companies. He doesn't have a penny more now than he had 5 years ago. You tell me who is responsible.User Detail :
Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, City : Orlando, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I am in the position you describe - affluent through a combination of good luck and hard work (probably in that order). My sister is not as well off - but she dropped out of college (parents paid everything, and she is plenty smart) in her senior year! So, while luck may help, she was immature. She complains her husband doesnt work enough overtime to bring home more money, but didnt get a job until her kids were in highschool. I'd say, still immature. I have 'loaned' her money for car and house downpayments, but I keep my income and savings a secret from the whole family. They certainly know I am 'well-off', but I dont want to be pressured into giving my sister more money than I do - I think that is up to me. I think my situation sounds unusual - but how many people share this?User Detail :
Name : Kate26816, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 45, City : denver, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I think people can establish a good living in society today - at least if they have an address. I feel people who can barely afford basic needs are most likely not trying to change a thing. You can have more than one job and find very cheap places to live. My mom's friend lived with us for two years. She did not have to pay rent and barely bought her own food. She used our shampoo, our laundry detergent - and she still had no money. She thought drinking would help. Right. We told her it wouldn't. She had two jobs but barely ever worked. She sat around our house all day. She did not attempt to change things, no matter how much we told her she could. She finally moved out and found a small apartment for $200 a month and came crawling back for money. That's a good example for lower-class people.User Detail :
Name : Kristie, Gender : F, City : Sauk, State : WI Country : United States,I concur whole-heartedly!User Detail :
Name : John29244, Gender : M, Age : 27, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Technology, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I am a very successful black female. As far as I am concerned, if I can do it with two strikes against me, anyone can. People will hate me for two reasons. I hate to hear people say that 'the white man is keeping me down' or 'affirmative action is reverse racism'. Shutup, stop wallowing in self-pity and fight and scratch like the rest of us. That's what I did and I made it.User Detail :
Name : Monika, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Software Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I'm middle class, not upper middle class, but I'm better off than most of my relatives. I believe that in this country, if you work hard, you'll get noticed. Yeah, sometimes it helps to 'know somebody', but this isn't the norm. The vast majority of those who are successful got to where they are because of hard work and a belief that they can succedd. There are some who have the mentality that they have no control over their lives or that there's not use of trying to improve their circumstances because they'll only be held down by 'the man'. As for lending money to economically lower-class relatives, I guess it would depend on what the money's for.User Detail :
Name : JR21132, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 33, City : Franklin, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Systems Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Hello, I am a twenty-four year old male who has a very eclectic and diverse family in many different ways. One of which is financial status. I personally have experienced both the financial high life and low life as well. Right now, I am somewhere in between. First of all, everyone is of course different about how they feel and react to other people in social classes. I find that most people who can not relate to others are the quickest to judge people who are different than themselves. A person's social status usually has very little to do with the fact of laziness at all. I would say that it has to do with a certain type of financial education coupled with a drive and/or comfort level of a way of life. Think about it; most wealthy people came from wealthy families. Most poor people had poor families too. -Not all, Most. That being said; the hardest working man I have ever known is a beautiful man who was a janitor most of his life. He is now much past retirement age and still works incredibly hard every day. Plus, many wealthy people I know and love have had to work hard as well. The main difference is that they usually tend to work hard for period of time so they can later be lazy. Interesting, huh?User Detail :
Name : Franky, Gender : M, Age : 24, City : Mountain View, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : actor, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Hmmmm. This is a rather problematic question. I come from a mixed-class background. My mother's family is relatively wealthy, as my grandfather (and his father & grandfather before him) was a doctor, and my great uncle owns several large car dealerships in the city. My father's family is from a rural area and doesn't have much money. I don't believe that my mother's family is more well-off because they worked harder; I think they simply had more opportunities and a better education to support their dreams. Frankly, my 'lower-class' relatives are my least-favorite relatives, but that's because they are narrow-minded fools that are impossible to have a relationship with, not because they are always trying to get money from us! Most of them in my father's generation actually have college educations, but their educations were driven by a desire for a 'career' to take them out of the lower class. My mother's middle-to-upper-class relatives have broad, liberal-arts educations that have given them the keys to fulfilling and interesting livelihoods, and they are much more educated, open-minded and interesting to be with.User Detail :
Name : Stephanie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Norman, State : OK Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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