Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
Forum Replies Created
- Posts
I am a black female and have dated a number of white men. I will say that white men are not necessarily becoming more interested in black women, but they are becoming more open about their interest in black women. White men in general have always had interest in black women (and I am not including those who seek us for sexually based, rape-motivated and/or stereotypical reasons); it is just that based on the times, locations and specific societal pressures that they face, white men may not be as frank and explicit with their desires to seek black women or extend their dating options to include black women. Of course, there are white men who are used to white people, ‘white ways’ and white environments, meaning population and types of people, and because of this narrowed experience with only their own ethnic background, they may be comfortable with only or mostly white women as romantic partners. Still, I have met and dated white men from those types of environments who are tired of mono-racial experiences and seek to diversify their options and relations to black/non-white women as both friends and dating partners. I think as society becomes more representational of interracial relationships and settings in sufficient ways through mass media, public events and functions, the ability for white men and anyone else interested in people of different ethnic groups to date will become more of a normal rather than taboo issue.
User Detail :
Name : Mindkandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : West LA, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Well, I don’t know if you’ve spent much time really pondering your question in detail, but you have to consider the obvious facts that people are mostly a product of their environment in many ways. It is found that black who live in poorer, less resoureful areas are more likely to suffer from stress and unhealthy-food related illnesses such as diabetes, hypertention (heart disease), obesity, certain forms of cancer, etc etc than blacks who live in more resourceful and affluent communities. So it is not an issue of whether someone is black, therefore they get sick quicker and faster, it is an issue of what types of environments, socio-economically, certain blacks live in. Now in comparison to whites, more whites than blacks live in more affluent areas and communities, although the majority of black population, contrary to popular belief, are middle classed citizens and not on wellfare and poor. So naturally the ailments that come with living in poorer areas are going to be experienced moreso by the people that live in them. If you go to poor black neighborhoods, you don’t see many health care facilities and programs built and offered, you see fast food joints on almost every corner, along with liquor stores, thus making the area ‘ghettoized’ (consisting of mostly one type of ethnic demographic along with being poor and less opportuned). I think more whites need to do more reasearching on things that don’t necessarily pertain to them to enlighten their perceptions of blacks in general and what being black in this society means and implies on various complex levels, because I see a lot of questions here that may to me and others initially appear to be silly, and very naive, but I realize that many whites do not think about race until someone really puts it in their path and even then many whites tend to think blacks ‘overreact and exaggerate’ about certain racial realities. It has not been that long since blacks have been segregated and you have to remember that blacks for almost a century were not allowed to vote, read or be educated, thus having a tremendous and substantial impact on today’s black generations and socialized realities, this is why there are more whites who are affluent and successful than blacks and why whites make up more of the nations population (being the majority) than many other ethnic groups. There is a lot to think about, and I hope that you consider that, but good question as it needs to be discussed đ
User Detail :
Name : Mindkandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : West LA, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Well, I will say that if you are really concerned about protecting yourself, one of the key things to do is to not appear scared or antsy around strangers. I see so many white women particularly that walk about public looking so timid, scared, and like if anyone says ‘boo’ they will fall to the ground and shatter. I do agree that being wise and tactfully impersonal around unfamiliar environments and people is usually a good idea, but to act and seem obviously apprehensive is not a good idea as people who may be looking to start trouble love to antagonize people who fit that ‘intimidated’ profile. If no one is making any obviously threatening gestures or behavior towards you, then you have no reason to make obvious intimidated behavioral actions and gestures towards them, this way you don’t set yourself up for appearing vulnerable to people who intend harm and you don’t look like you are discriminating against someone of another ethnic group. Yes there will always be a possibility of misunderstanding in everyday life, but wise actions like this will help to lessen their frequencies of occurance.
User Detail :
Name : Mindkandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : West LA, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,The intent of this forum is great in allowing people to get their ideas out in the open and to discuss them with people of various ethncities and other demographic groups, but many of the questions on here tell me and I hope some enlightened others that we have a long way to go before we start breaking down racial barriers. People you must really start to hear the things you say, think and believe and stop being impulsive and insensitive along with close minded in many of your approaches to anything racial. Stop and ask yourself ?’s. Really start to do some self evaluation. Minds are lazy here in America when it comes to racial paradigms that sometimes I just want to go out and scream myself crazy in pure disbelief. I hope that I am opening up some minds with my post and getting some agreeable nods as well. Stop generalizing and dehumanizing. People are not all the same. I am BF, but I do not represent the ‘black ethnicity’. I represent myself. This goes the same for everyone else. Statements like ‘you are a credit to your race’, ‘wow you speak well for a black person’, ‘you don’t talk or act black’ are absolutely childish. Think about what they are really implying besides the obvious words written. They imply that the person who would be saying these things thinks I fit into this cookie cutter image of the idea in their mind of what they feel is black. I am a complex person, multifaceted in personality, ability, intelligence and persona. Treat me that way. I am an individual like everyone else is. Don’t shortcut your perspectives towards people and groups by stereotyping, Open your mind, world view and start to really think about things on a more dynamic, rather than stereotypical and close-minded viewpoint. So next time you see your ‘rude black neighbor’, remember that he is one person, regardless of race, and only represents himself. He should not be seen as representing a whole racial group. Or is it that you want to see things this way? If so, be prepared to not complain when someone says something generalizing about whites and disregards you as an individual.
User Detail :
Name : Mindkandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : West LA, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,well first off. All black women are different, so to expect a single answer in representation of what all black women would think would be impossible. What you should do is meet people person to person through your daily interactions and get some vague ideas through tactful questioning and even then you still will not have an idea of what all black women think about interracial dating either for themselves or for other people. I myself as a BF, fully support interracial dating and think it is great in creating more understanding and enlightenment, ~but~ one must not assume that just because they have so called friends and romantic partners of various ethnicities that they are free of racist ideologies in both their conscious and subconscious mind. One must not just simply co-exist with various groups, ones frame of mind and the way they look at things and people in relation to themselves and situations must be changed as well. That is the real praxis and challenge, one most people often don’t realize they they need to take on or exists.
User Detail :
Name : Mindkandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : West LA, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Why don’t you change you frame of mind for a moment and maybe think of this neighbor as just ~a person~ who has no decency in neighborly etiquette. Why must this person’s behavior be attached to the fact that he is black..this is the problem with most people, particularly with some whites, the automatic attachment of bad traits to a whole ethnic group because they had experience with one person of that group who had traits they didn’t like. This man should be seen as someone who speaks for himself, lives for himself and acts for himself. He does not represent all blacks. To think this would be ridiculous and very immature. You would be implying that all blacks have the exact same rearing, environmental and soci-economic settings and are the same person in and out. You, ‘my friend’ would be guilty of dehumanizing a whole ethnic group, because you are not allowing yourself to see them as individuals, instead you see one black man and his friends and equate that to believing that all blacks are the same way. no you did not say this in these words, but the very idea that you had to mention this rude neighbor ethnic identity, black, post it on this forum which is on the subject of race/ethnicity, implies a lot on its own. part 2 of my message is posted below somewhere
User Detail :
Name : Mindkandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : West LA, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
