Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 8 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 20 years ago by
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To black women: If a white guy wanted to date you, what would you say? And do you have a problem when you see white/black couples?
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Name : Chad H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 15, City : Central Square, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma,I date white guys. What difference does it matter what race he is? Please yourself not your friends or society. All that matters is if he treats you nice.
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Name : Melissa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 31, City : Philly, Pa, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : technology, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Black-white dating, for black women especially, is a very sticky subject. To the first part of the question of would I as a black woman date a white man, the answer is that I would not date a man because he was white. What I mean by this is that while I would not refuse to date a man who was white if I found him appealing, I am much more cautious when these situations arise. I have dated a few white men over the past several years, and it has been my experience that there are certain motivations for these relationships, not all of which are ‘pure.’ I’ve noticed that there are five types of white men who date black women: those who are interested because they’ve bought into the idea of black women being overly sexualized creatures with a carnal knowledge that white women don’t possess; those who do it because they view it as ‘trendy’; those who do it to try and prove that they are not racist; those who are simply more attracted to black women in general; and those who fall for a woman with little regard to skin color. The difficulty is weeding through it all and trying to figure where a man is coming from. But overall, I believe that in this life, finding someone who you click with, that you can love and who can love you in return is extremely difficult, so when you find that person you should go for it, and color shouldn’t be a factor.
To the second question, it doesn’t bother me when I see a black man with a white woman if it seems they are together because of love, and not because of status. Often black women become upset at these relationships because of the tendency of some black men to view white women as prizes. It happens sometimes that when black men make a great deal of money, or become famous, they will become involved in relationships with white women because they view these women as part of a package of success (nice job, big car, white woman…). At the same time, the men will view black women as ‘less-than’ white women, which of course, inspires anger and resentment in black women. In addition, some black women view black male-white woman relatioships as cutting into the (limited) supply of successful black men, which only increases feelings of hostility.
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Name : K.N., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,This is a great summation of the dynamics of interracial dating. Of all the responses I have read on this site, this one really hits the heart of the subject matter. Beautifully written.
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Name : Marc22354, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 24, City : Morgantown, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Thank you K.N. for that wonderful response. Although I have never dated a white woman, I believe what you said is right on. My mother went to school in France for two years as an Army brat and then was forced to complete her remaining years in Jackson, Miss. I think it scared her deeply, and she passed some of her wounds on to me by telling me not to bring any white girls home, among other things. I think it is important for all people to know themselves and think on their own. This is why I enjoyed reading your response to the young sister.
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Name : Muna, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 32, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Entrepreneur, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,well first off. All black women are different, so to expect a single answer in representation of what all black women would think would be impossible. What you should do is meet people person to person through your daily interactions and get some vague ideas through tactful questioning and even then you still will not have an idea of what all black women think about interracial dating either for themselves or for other people. I myself as a BF, fully support interracial dating and think it is great in creating more understanding and enlightenment, ~but~ one must not assume that just because they have so called friends and romantic partners of various ethnicities that they are free of racist ideologies in both their conscious and subconscious mind. One must not just simply co-exist with various groups, ones frame of mind and the way they look at things and people in relation to themselves and situations must be changed as well. That is the real praxis and challenge, one most people often don’t realize they they need to take on or exists.
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Name : Mindkandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : West LA, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,To me it depends on the guy. If i liked him i would date him, even though that’s not looked upon to favorably with black males or black females. Even though i never have but i have dated alot of spanish guys and my experiences weren’t bad at all. For the second question I used to not like to see black males with white females but i think that’s just because of the way my mother felt. But as i started dating outside of my race it didn’t bother me at all. It no longer feels like white women are taking up a limited supply because i date a much large spec. Plus i agree with the dream that Martin Luther King Jr. had: i dream of a day when I will be judged not the the color of my skin but the content of my character.
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Name : Renee, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, City : Clinton, State : MD, Country : United States, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class,we are couple looking for couple
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Name : ptg10us, City : Rewa, State : NA, Country : India,I am in a serious relationship with a white man & our relationship is good. Yes, we encounter the stairs and ‘jeers’ but we’re secure with each other so we don’t get caught up in what others think. Laughing a lot keeps our relationship strong. As far as what he finds attractive in me, I truly believe we’re together because of a mutual respect for each other.
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Name : mm, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 29, City : atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : Marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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