[Mark]

It's not common, but not unheard of, either. In 25 years of being out, I have run across a number of bodybuilders who definitely were turned on by the man in the mirror. I've even met a couple of guys who never took their eyes off themselves! So, yes, some guys, especially those with great bodies, get off on themselves. But for us average mortals, sex without mirrors is just fine.

User Detail :  

Name : Mark, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mark]

People don't seem to have read my original post closely, and have also assumed rude behavior on my part. Where do I say in my post that I am rude or don't say 'Excuse me'? In fact, I always say 'Excuse me' and also try to avoid bumping into people. But as I said, jostling is a fact of life when you live in a crowded city like New York. People seemed to miss the most important part of my question: Why is it only blacks who get upset? Is it because I'm white? Maybe I should watch and see if blacks also yell at other blacks who bump into them, even when they say 'Excuse me.' That would make it clear if it was a racial thing or not.

User Detail :  

Name : Mark, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mark]

I wasn't offended at first, but the more I see it, the more it makes me uncomfortable. There's something unnerving about watching gay men play 'court jester' to the straight 'king.' All this work to help straights have sex, or to get married, when most people in this country think we shouldn't have either, is unpleasant. And of course, the show perpetuates the stereotype that all gay men have fabulous taste and worry all the time about what shoes to wear. Ask my boyfriend if you want proof that a lot of gay men are as hopelessly fashion-inept as straight men, and have more important things on their minds.

User Detail :  

Name : Mark, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mark]

I agree with Matthew. While there are still gay men who are effeminate (and proud of it), they are far fewer in number than just a few years ago. In the past, many gay men developed effeminate mannerisms as a defense mechanism, and as a way to revel in their 'differentness' once they accepted their sexuality. Gay men have always enjoyed crossing gender lines and questioning the need for the strict roles society forces on us. These days, as fewer gay men see themselves as outcasts, we act 'fabulous' only for fun, and turn it on or off to suit the occasion. So if you think the majority of gay men act effeminate, you're unaware of how many gays are around you everyday!

User Detail :  

Name : Mark, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mark]

I think this may have to do with the places in which you're meeting gay men. While it was once true that most gay friendships began sexually and then developed into something platonic, times have changed. As gay men meet in non-sexual settings such as volunteer work, interest groups, activist groups, etc., many gay men are forming friendships that are not based on sexual attraction, but rather on mutual interests. Personally, I feel it's important to avoid limiting friendships based on sexual orientation. Many of my best friends are straight, but I also have a number of gay friends whom I've met at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center. I also haven't had much luck in turning former sexual partners in to friends, but I know this is common for many gay men. I'd encourage you to do your best to meet gay men in settings that are not sexually charged. Men who limit themselves to the bars can find it difficult to form lasting friendships. Good luck!

User Detail :  

Name : Mark, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Author]

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