Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences
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What I have done is to simply look at them gently, while thinking out a shopping list, and wait til they finish–they haven’t the foggiest that you were thinking about what to make for dinner that night,or how great your husband was in bed last night! Plus, they greatly appreciate your patience!
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Name : NorthernDisclosures, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 40, City : Out in the Hills, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Getting There, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,As someone who stuttered as a child (it still slips out here and there, very rarely) I can say that you have to be patient and wait for the person to finish on his or her own. To interrupt only makes things worse, as it instills a sense of inferiority, and makes them feel like they are wasting your time. Be calm and show the person that he or she can be comfortable around you, and you will see the stuttering decrease in time. Stutterers usually have somone they can talk to and stutter much less. For instance, I could talk to my mother much easier than my father for some reason.
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Name : Rob28645, Gender : M, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States,Dear Shana, Please be polite. When a stutterer is trying really hard to make a point he needs to finish what he started to say. After a long stuttering period to get a point accross there is actually a sense of satisfaction in the individual at the difficult accomplishment. Getting that sentence out means as much to them as finishing a race to you. You don’t have to come in first place, but just finishing is important. You will increase their frustration and feeling of failure by cutting them off or making them feel like they are wasting your time. Please be patient.
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Name : Thomas, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 48, City : Lakewood, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : Construction Project Manager, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,It’s not like people get stuck on a word for 5 or 10 minutes at a time. Deal with it. Wait the few seconds for them to finish and then treat them like anybody else. If you know the person well, then occasionally filling in the blank can be helpful and ease the tension. Stuttering comes about through tension, among other things. If you have never stuttered, you can’t imagine how frustrating it is not being able to express yourself verbally. I’ve had adults laugh and make fun of my speech from time to time thinking it was a funny slip. I punish them by continuing to speak and let them bury themselves when they realize I have a stutter. It’s kind of fun.
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Name : Jeff31165, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 45, City : Victoria, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Graphic Designer - Art director, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,As a stutterer as a child, now mostly outgrown, and also having a father, now 70, who still is a chronic stutterer, you should, give the stutterer respect enough to finish what he or she is trying to say. If you interrupt them, you may get hit, smacked or kicked.
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Name : Bedo, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : severe carpal tunnel, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 48, City : Straw Plains, State : TN, Country : United States, Occupation : disabled, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,Stutterers expect no special treatment. If you need to interrupt and cut the conversation short, just do it as politely as possible. Just like you would anyone else who doesn’t stutter. The worst thing that you can do to someone who stutters is to treat them as if what they have to say is not important. We know that our stuttering is annoying to other people, especially when time is short. But it is no more annoying than trying to communicate effectively when your own mouth will not cooperate.
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Name : Lane-C, Gender : M, Race : American Indian, Age : 34, City : Lexington, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : Electronics Technician, Education level : 2 Years of College,I have a stutter, though it is not always very prominent. It is worst when I am tired or stressed or under some type of duress. It doesn’t bother me when people finish my thoughts if they are nice about it. I do get offended by the ‘you are wasting my time, you buffoon’ attitude I sometimes receive. If you approach it the same way you would a person who was ‘looking for the right word,’ you should come across all right.
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Name : Kæreste, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 22, City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Construction, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I have a dear friend who has a bad stutter. I didn’t know what he preferred I do so I just asked him! He said if he’s really stuck on a word, to go ahead and finish it for him…it’s a relief to him when he’s struggling if the other person knows what he’s trying to say, it’s like he’s struggling in vain…ya know? Although it may be best to ask each individual person, his rationale made perfect sense to me. Say I was trying to arrange a room and lifting really heavy stuff to try to please another person. I pick up something really heavy to move it and the other person lets me get it all the way over to the room before they say ‘but I don’t want it there!’ It’d just be better if they didn’t let me struggle in vain.
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Name : Kathy26658, Gender : F, City : Madison, State : WI, Country : United States,As a long time stutterer (since I was 3 or 4), I prefer that people wait for me to finish. It’s irritating and somewhat insulting for others to finish my thoughts for me. I know what I want to say; I just have difficulties saying it.
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Name : David A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Stutterer, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 57, City : Denver, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : Software Developer, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I stutter when I am nervous and would say to be patient. When people finish my sentences or seem impatient i get mad. And that makes me stutter worse. Interrupting us makes us feel inferior and that is not a good feeling.
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Name : Amy31566, Gender : F, City : spartanburg, State : SC, Country : United States,People who stutter know they stutter. If it frustrates you to listen to it, imagine how it frustrates them to be unable to speak! NO, please don’t ever finish a stutterer’s sentences. It really is disrespectful. S/he knows s/he’s ‘taking up your time,’ and hates it, but how is your time more valuable than theirs? Honestly, they don’t like it any more than you do, and if they could stop, you know they would! So please be kind and respecful and let them finish. Besides, the more pressure you put on them to hurry up, the worse the stuttering usually gets. You really aren’t helping by ‘helping,’ even if you mean well.
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Name : Deb, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 45, City : Grand Junction, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,Try this. Imagine that you are in a country where English is not spoken by many people. You have some special need, such as directions, order a meal, find a doctor, etc. Your halting (French, Spanish, Urdu…) when you try to communicate with other people results in your ‘taking up their time’ while they wait for you to get the words out. How would you feel if you were impatiently interrupted by somebody who guessed at your message? Would you feel frustrated? Offended? Hurt?
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Name : Shaina, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Secular Humanist, Age : 27, City : Minneapolis, State : MN, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,It may be difficult to resist the urge, but resist you should. Stuttering is often a disability related to poor self-esteem. Think about how you would feel if when you were trying to say something the person you were talking to cut you off, assumed they knew what you were trying to communicate, and provided a response. You might feel like that person thought you were stupid or slow. Stutterers are not stupid or slow, and neither are you. Be polite. Be patient. Let the person complete their own thought in their own time. You will help them immensely. In fact, if they get frustrated with themselves be reassuring and encourage them to continue. Your kindness and patience will help them.
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Name : Lance, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Presbyterian, Age : 52, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Software Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Please wait until they are finished. I feel more respected when people wait for me to finish and they don’t finish sentences for me. I’m going to say what I’m going to say, I just need a little more time. I also find stress makes stuttering worse. Sometimes I feel bad when people get impatient or if I feel they think I’m less intelligent. I would rather not have people finish sentences, even though people usually mean well when they do this.
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Name : Joan-B, Gender : F, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,I have stutttered my entire life, and I do appreciate your question. It is better to wait for the person to finish speaking and not speak for them. For many in the stuttering community it is considered rude and it indicates the person does not want to take the time to interact.
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Name : Stephanie-B27771, Gender : F, Disability : stutterer, Race : Black/African American, Age : 38, City : Columbia, State : MO, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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