[iteki]

Its quite possible that you have only met effemintate gay men. Or more likely you are referring to people you dont actually know, but have seen on television or seen in stores or clubs or wherever. When a 6 foot 2 inch, muscular, hairy, sweaty brick layer sits beside you on the bus at the end of a hard days work, does it ever cross your mind that he might be gay? He quite possibly is. Most straight people only ‘see’ the flamboyant, screaming queens that fit in with their own stereotype of what a gay man should be. The people who look and act like your dad, your husband, your brother, your son, you assume not to be gay, and therefor cannot round out your picture of gay men. The it works the same way for lesbians. People only ‘see’ the extremely butch women, and assume that that counts for everyone. If I sit beside you on the bus in a skirt, with my hair that reaches half way down my back, you dont see me as a lesbian, i am just a ‘regular person’.

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Name : iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 24, City : Stockholm, State : NA, Country : Sweden, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[iteki]

Yep, indeed it is – as long as you are talking tiny bumps…

User Detail :  

Name : iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 24, City : Stockholm, State : NA, Country : Sweden, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[iteki]

I am not an expert on this and would prefer to see a reply from a member of the Transexual/Transgender community, but … ‘Sex changes’ do not happen overnight. Someone doesn’t just wake up in the morning and say ‘Oh Wait, I am a guy/girl.’ The fact of being transgender would exist before the relationship began and would therefore to a certain extent decide the qualities a person would seek in a partner. For example, someone born in a female bod who identifies as a straight male would probably want to date straight girls, so I think that in the example you give, both already have been aware of the situation and the issues relevant to their relationship. Because TG people also are required to live as the gender they really are and take hormones for years in advance of surgery, it is unlikely it could come as a huge surprise to their partner. As for whether they would stay together, that’s up to them; it’s the person inside you fall in love with, not the outside bits.

User Detail :  

Name : iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 24, City : Stockholm, State : NA, Country : Sweden, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[iteki]

Many people would agree that ‘Gaydar’ does indeed exist. It is not a specific trait or skill, but more a case of picking up on vibes. In the same way as some people can easily recognize people from the same country or city or other group, gay people who have had a lot of contact with other gay people can often get a ‘feeling’ that someone else is also gay. I would imagine that this is highly related to culture. For example, as a European, I might easily pick up ‘vibes’ from other West Europeans and Americans, while gay people from Asia or Africa might ‘fly under my gadar’ because I have had no contact with the gay cultures of these continents. How sensitive your gadar is is personal; it works as well for guys as girls, but as I said, I think it is very closely linked with how “out” you are and how much contact you have had with the gay community.

User Detail :  

Name : iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 24, City : Stockholm, State : NA, Country : Sweden, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[iteki]

Off topic I know, but I saw the thing about Sinead O’Conner and had to reply 😉 As a born and bred Dublin chick I gotta point out that Sinead is a bit of a nutter. Voice like an angel, but not very well in the head. Last month she was a priestess in a radical catholic splinter-group, this month shes a dyke, next month she will probably be claiming to be an alien, or at least to have been abducted by them. IMHO this is just another attention getting stunt, and what better way to shock poor old catholic Ireland than by declaring you’re queer (Most real Irish queers can tell you noones that shocked). I am fairly p-o’ed at this since I feel ms. o’conners statements will damage the credibility of Irish LGBTs (lesbian,gay,bi and tg/ts; not to be confused with a BLT 😛 ). Excuse the rant 😉

User Detail :  

Name : iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 24, City : Stockholm, State : NA, Country : Sweden, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[iteki]

Simple answer: Group behavior. Same way as other groups of people develop similar patterns of speech, dress, mannerisms, etc. People from from Minnesota say ‘Ja’ instead of yes, for example, and in any city you go to you will find the local kids divided into groups that dress and talk in a specific way. As to the origins of this ‘style’ (and this stereotype of gay men has been around a long time), one of the more interesting theories I have heard on this is that way back when, it was quite socially accepted with ‘sissys’ or ‘dandies’ of the Noel Coward, Oscar Wilde sort. This was (and still is) a hell of a lot less threatening to straight guys than if queers acted ‘just like them.’ If ‘they’ were just like you, then how would you know your friend or your brother wasn’t one? It is comforting for people to behave in a way that lets you easily label and box them. So the whole thing may have started as a defense mechanism. Depending on who you hang out, where you meet your friends and their age group, you are more or less likely to see this pattern. Older guys whose only way to ‘come out’ was to start going to gay bars picked up this style very easily. Among younger guys whose first ‘coming-out’ experience is at youth groups, etc., with other people their own age, there is a much more individualistic style of being themselves. There’s nothing wrong with the queens, though; camping it up is fun.

User Detail :  

Name : iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 24, City : Stockholm, State : NA, Country : Sweden, Social class : Lower middle class, 

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