Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 10 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 23 years, 11 months ago by
.
- Posts
Is there really such a thing as gaydar? If there is, how reliable is it? Does it work for lesbians?
User Detail :
Name : Krista, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 19, City : Gilbert, State : AZ, Country : United States, Occupation : Daycare, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Have you ever suspected someone was gay by their mannerisms? I always thought Sinead O’Connor was gay, even though she had been married to a man for the longest time, and boom, last week she officially came out as a lesbian. That’s ‘gaydar.’ Of course, if you’re looking for 100 percent reliability, you’ll be disappointed. (Why do you think so many gay people are still ‘in the closet’ today?)
User Detail :
Name : Sylph, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 18, City : Windsor, Ontario, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class,Many people would agree that ‘Gaydar’ does indeed exist. It is not a specific trait or skill, but more a case of picking up on vibes. In the same way as some people can easily recognize people from the same country or city or other group, gay people who have had a lot of contact with other gay people can often get a ‘feeling’ that someone else is also gay. I would imagine that this is highly related to culture. For example, as a European, I might easily pick up ‘vibes’ from other West Europeans and Americans, while gay people from Asia or Africa might ‘fly under my gadar’ because I have had no contact with the gay cultures of these continents. How sensitive your gadar is is personal; it works as well for guys as girls, but as I said, I think it is very closely linked with how “out” you are and how much contact you have had with the gay community.
User Detail :
Name : iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 24, City : Stockholm, State : NA, Country : Sweden, Social class : Lower middle class,I think it exists. A woman started flirting with me on the phone at work today. We didn’t know each other at all. She obviously realized I wouldn’t react homophobically.
User Detail :
Name : Priscilla30293, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Gaydar is a variant on the basic human phenomenon that allows people to focus subconsciously on qualities that really matter to them. Straight people don’t really need to identify gay people, so they never develop the skill that lets them do so. Ironically, this is true even for raging homophobes, who you think would develop gaydar just to let them hate more effectively. Gay people NEED to find each other, so they learn how to do so. Some people learn quickly and easily, others with much more difficulty. I suspect that the degree of difficulty depends mainly on one’s comfort with oneself. The more you appreciate your own gayness, the easier you can identify other gay people. Gay behaviors are determined culturally; thus, gaydar fails when one enters a different culture. For example, to an American, almost all Italian men seem to act gay – purely a cultural reading of cultural behavior. Thus sometimes even inside an apparently homogeneous culture like that in the United States, gaydar fails because people fail to give or pick up on the very subtle signals involved. And, yes, gaydar works for lesbians as well as gay men. Don’t be upset if you’re having problems developing your gaydar. It will come at its own pace.
User Detail :
Name : Thom24776, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Gaydar is nothing more than being able to determine if someone you meet is gay (or lesbian). Some people are obvious about their sexual orientation, but others are more subtle. It’s all about picking up on subtle clues in the person’s mannerisms, speech, clothing, jewelry, etc. Anyone who has spent time around gays and lesbians and is observant can develop gaydar.
User Detail :
Name : Jacqueline-C21027, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : San Jose, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Off topic I know, but I saw the thing about Sinead O’Conner and had to reply 😉 As a born and bred Dublin chick I gotta point out that Sinead is a bit of a nutter. Voice like an angel, but not very well in the head. Last month she was a priestess in a radical catholic splinter-group, this month shes a dyke, next month she will probably be claiming to be an alien, or at least to have been abducted by them. IMHO this is just another attention getting stunt, and what better way to shock poor old catholic Ireland than by declaring you’re queer (Most real Irish queers can tell you noones that shocked). I am fairly p-o’ed at this since I feel ms. o’conners statements will damage the credibility of Irish LGBTs (lesbian,gay,bi and tg/ts; not to be confused with a BLT 😛 ). Excuse the rant 😉
User Detail :
Name : iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 24, City : Stockholm, State : NA, Country : Sweden, Social class : Lower middle class,I don’t think ‘Gaydar’ is limited to gays or lesbians. For example, when I first saw Ellen Degeneris doing stand-up comedy, I just assumed she was a lesbian and thought nothing of it. So I thought it was pretty strange when she officially ‘came out’ to the media and everybody made a big deal of it. I kept thinking, well, yeah, she’s gay, are y’all blind or something? Same with a young friend of mine: he came out, and although I didn’t say it at the time, I had suspected it for some time. I’m sure coming out is a terribly risky thing to state, but maybe if some gay and lesbian people realized that some of their friends already are 99 percent sure, it would be easier. Or maybe that is the exception to the rule?
User Detail :
Name : Candice19214, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, City : Fremont, State : NE, Country : United States, Occupation : educator, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,Even though I’m straight, I think I have ‘gaydar’ and that it is not just a gay thing. I have had very dear gay friends over the years, and I don’t know if I just picked up vibes from being around them or what. I am also a not particularly straight-looking female, and an amazing corollary is that straight people mistake me as a lesbian all the time, but gay people almost never do. I find this fascinating.
User Detail :
Name : Ria, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 40, City : Pure Air, State : MO, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I’ve read the other responses and have to chuckle. I once had a gay associate who insisted he had excellent gaydar. In fact, his gaydar detected that many of us in the office were in the closet, and he made it his mission to try to ‘out’ us all through intimate personal conversations and broad comments (can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m not gay). It was hilarious. But the best moment was when a client of ours with whom we’d been working closely, a rich princess-type who we all assumed was dating equally rich male doctors, lawyers, etc. during her Hampton summers and weekends, casually dropped that she was a ‘sister’ during one of our meetings. Everyone’s jaw dropped – but none more than his!
User Detail :
Name : Jen30992, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : still searching, Age : 39, City : Arlington, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Professional, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,If gay people really do have Gaydar, I want to know when I get mine. I just hit on everybody indiscriminately.
User Detail :
Name : Billy, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 18, City : Johnson City, State : TN, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.