[John]

(1) No one knows why gay people are gay, but most of us feel it is some combination of genetics and prenatal delvelopment, and that we have no choice in the matter.
(2) Anal sex is practiced by gays and straights, and there are gay people who do not do it.
(3) Fisting (entire hands inserted into the rectum or vagina) is a fairly uncommon practice mostly associated with people (gay and straight) in the SM scene. It is again not limited to gays, and conversely, most gays don't do it.

User Detail :  

Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 44, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : systems analyst, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[John]

If it were, there would be a lot of people, both male and female, with torn-up insides. The key thing to remember is reason. Just as with vaginal sex, it should not be done unprotected unless you are monogamous. In addition, the passive partner needs to be able to relax the anus and lower rectum. If toys are used, they should be clean, of reasonable size and shape, etc. If the active partner is a male using his penis, there is probably a bit more sensitivity to size, as the rectum is not quite as 'stretchy' as the vagina is. If you are interested in doing this as a passive partner, you might want to try masturbation with your own toys and fingers first, then have the active partner stimulate you digitally when you are comfortable with this, before moving on to anything larger and more aggressive.

User Detail :  

Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 44, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : systems analyst, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[John]

I love my dog and enjoy her affectionate kisses. I do not think she is any dirtier than most humans, except when it rains and her paws get muddy. But the more important question is why you think 'pet love' is a white trait. In my neighborhood, which is predominantly white but quite diverse, I have black, Hispanic and Asian neighbors that dote on their pets too. What these people do have in common, however, is that they are all middle class to slightly upper middle class. Carol, you don't tell us your background or the income level you grew up in. I suspect that the reason you find people bonding to pets so foreign may have more to do with income level. Poorer people cannot afford to have pets or if they do, cannot afford to view them as members of the family. When one gets too emotionally attached, one feels obligated towards them. I spent thousands of dollars on my dog recently in vet bills. It is the first time I have owned one as an adult and I am beginning to think that it really does require a high income to treat them well.

User Detail :  

Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 44, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : systems analyst, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[John]

I would have to strongly disagree. I have no idea what constitutes 'white' cooking, 'white' music etc.. Is it white just becuase it is not black or Hispanic? What do Bach, Johnny Cash, and polka music have to do with one another, to use an example?, Nor do I feel any special cultural identification with other whites unless they also happen to also be of Easrern European Jewish background like myself. My other half is Scotch-Irish of mid-Southern origin. I find his family's culture as distinct from my own background as that of my ex, who was second generation American of Mexican origin. I think what you may feel is that there are 'dominant' American cultural norms which conflict with some norms in minority cultures, but I don't think the former are extensive enough in and of themselves to form a culture. When I hear people talk of 'white pride' I cringe because what I really feel I am hearing is a buzzword for trashy old white supremacism.

User Detail :  

Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 44, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : systems analyst, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[John]

Your question in and of itself is a red flag. What 'white culture?' White is not an ethnicity. Only ethnicities have 'cultures.' African Americans, by virtue of their hundreds of years of separation from Africa and discrimination (and slavery) in America, formed their own ethnic characteristics. Hispanics, when classed as a 'race,' must be thought of as having many cultures, as they come from varied regional backgrounds. Same with Asians, and finally with whites. Race is an arbitrary and misleading idea. It has no relevance to cultural standards. If someone makes fun of people based on skin color, the usual reaction of a reasonable person is to disregard it as frivolous when not serious and indefensible - from rational and moral points of view - and obnoxious racial stereotyping when suggested seriously.

User Detail :  

Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 44, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : systems analyst, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[John]

Regarding your statement, 'You don't need me to tell you who does the giving and who receives.' You might be surprised that although it is not often represented in porno flicks, many straight guys like their partners to penetrate them. It can be done with a dildo or strap-on device. Furthermore, it does not mean they are bisexual. Many probably have no interest in other males whatsoever. The anus, prostate and lower rectum are erogenous zones, and anyone can enjoy them that way. See the book Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin for more information.

User Detail :  

Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 44, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : systems analyst, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[John]

I wanted to add another thought to what the previous posters said. You did not mention in your post whether your prostate was enlarged or inflamed. If it was, that might have explained the pain. (I am guessing that at 59 you might have had some enlargement.) I have never experienced pain during a prostate exam, but because I am a gay man, I am not squeamish about them. (This does not mean I see a real medical procedure of any sort as a sexual experience, just that I am not as uptight about anal penetration.)

User Detail :  

Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 44, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : systems analyst, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[John]

If it were, there would be a lot of people, both male and female, with torn up insides. The key thing to remember is reason. Just like vaginal sex, it should not be done unprotected unless you are monogamous with someone. In addition, the passive partner needs to be able to relax the anus and lower rectum. If toys are used they should be clean, reasonable size and shape, etc. If the active partner is a male using his penis, there is probably a bit more sensitivity to size, as the rectum is not quite as "stretchy" as the vagina is.

If you are interested in doing this as a passive partner, you might want to try masturbation with your own toys and fingers first. Then have the active partner stimulate you digitally when you are comfortable with this, before moving on to anything larger and more aggressive.

User Detail :  

Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 44, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : systems analyst, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

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