Iteki

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  • in reply to: From Northern Ireland, not pro-IRA! #33921

    Iteki
    Member
    Being from Dublin, I find the same issues are relevant. They assume that coming from the Republic, I am a hardline republican. The only advice I can offer is to do the same as one does when offended by any other comments: explain that it offends, and educate on why. Chances are they know nothing of the situation in Northern Ireland and how it came about. Explain to them that it is very insulting to you that they assume that you are a person who would support violence as a means to an end. Tell them it reflects badly on them that they would joke about something they know nothing about. Make the comparison (cheap shot, but it might get the point across) of how entertaining they would find pro-McVeigh jokes about the Oklahoma bombing. You could also try giving them a brief history of the situation, and explaining who the various players are. I identify, as I said, with your issues because while my feelings are that Ireland should never have been divided, and that Ireland is the whole of the island, no belief is strong enough, and no piece of land important enough, to kill for. This might be an extra-difficult premise for Americans to grasp, considering their own highly combatent national history. Come to think of it, they can sing all the pro-IRA songs they like, they are still living in a country that they took with violence from the people who lived there first...

    User Detail :  

    Name : Iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 25, City : Stockholm (Via Dublin), State : NA Country : Sweden, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Homosexual parenthood OK to bring up? #43434

    Iteki
    Member
    If I were the one you had said it to, my reactions would be mixed. I would be pleased and think you were cool that you had not automatically assumed that children were not part of my plans and hopes. I would also be glad you didn't 'think before you spoke,' if you know what I mean. I'd rather someone say something slightly questionable with the right intentions than go through a conversation constantly ensuring their own political correctness. But I would also have been a little sad inside, because I know there are a bunch of people out there who are making decisions that affect whether I can have children and raise them in the security a little person needs. But I would still receive the comment very favorably.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 25, City : Stockholm (Via Dublin), State : NA Country : Sweden, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Why hate gays but not lesbians? #40303

    Iteki
    Member
    I've got to think that's a bit of a naive question. Ask it to the women who have been raped by straight men to 'show them what they are missing,' ask the women who have been denied custody of their children by their ex-husbands, ask the women whose fathers and brothers can't talk to them after they come out because for them 'lesbian' is something from a porno movie. I hear at least as many crude jokes and belittling comments made about lesbians as gay men, and I know an equal amount of each who have been turned down jobs, or verbally or physically assaulted because they fall in love with people of the same sex.

    I agree, however, with the generalization that for straight guys, lesbians are 'safe' and gay guys are 'dangerous.' I think the comment 'they fear they could be gay but know they can't be lesbians' was wonderful - I am still giggling. Also, 95 percent (a random figure) of the time, the only image or connections your average straight guy has to the word 'lesbian' is what he has seen in, hmmm, shall we say 'erotic entertainment'? And we all know how representative of reality that is. Similarly the only image they have of gay men is either sitcoms, or horror stories told in the locker room. And we know how accurate they are, too.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 25, City : Stockholm (Via Dublin), State : NA Country : Sweden, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Raw about Sushi etiquette #35350

    Iteki
    Member
    As a total sushi-nut and somewhat of a sushi-snob, I am guessing that the falling apart in mid-bite is a result of one of two things: It could be poorly made sushi, probably by someone who has not had the seven years of education (afik) needed to become a sushi chef. It could also be bad 'sushi-eating-skills.' Most people I have seen eating sushi do so in the most bizarre manner (to my sushi-love-slave way of thinking). Usually I see people either pull off the topping with their chopsticks and eat that first, and then attack the poor bed of rice, or (sin of all sins) dip them upside down! By upside down I mean dipping the rice side of the sushi in the soy sauce. Only the topping should be dipped, if you must dip. It is very bad etiquette to let the soy contaminate the rice, which is considered holy in Japan. I have even seen people lift up their sushi bit and place it carefully in the bowl of soy, letting it sit there and soak for a while before trying to eat it! As for why it can't be cut in two pieces, if that were necessary, it would be served in two pieces. As it is, they are perfectly proportioned to grab one bite to satisfy the craving, then pop the last half in and savour slowly. To answer your question about why there is nothing to catch the bits you drop, the answer is don't drop! Properly made and eaten, sushi should be easily managed and have a sufficiantly sticky consistency that not a grain of rice escapes. Worth bearing in mind is that sushi is perfectly acceptable 'finger food.' It is just as allowed to eat it with your fingers as, for example, fried chicken in the states. Place thumb and middle finger on either side, and a supportive index finger accross the top, turn your palm face up and dip the topping, yum! Sorry about this post, but I am living in a small, sushi-less town at the moment and haven't had access to sushi in months. Abstinence is a cruel thing.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 25, City : Stockholm (Via Dublin), State : NA Country : Sweden, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Black men’s fingernails #42765

    Iteki
    Member
    As far as I know, many other cultures have a practice of growing one nail longer than the others as a display of status and prosperity, the reason behind this being that 'if my nails are this long, then it's obvious that I am not a manual laborer, and in fact have people to take care of those sort of chores.' Similarly, one has the ideal of having a light skin tone (for one's ethnic background), showing that one is not out in the outdoors working all day.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 25, City : Stockholm (Via Dublin), State : NA Country : Sweden, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Crawling into a hole… #42775

    Iteki
    Member
    The first time I had the opertunity to meet a lot of people from other countries was at a youth diversity conference. Since Ireland has almost no ethnic minority groups, I was rather naive. I was happily running around asking people where they were from and how to say 'hello' in their language. Approaching an Asian woman, I asked where she was from, and got the reply 'Sweden.' I burst out laughing and said, 'Hehehe, nice one, yeah! So ... where ARE you from?' It didn't occur to me that there are often differences between nationality and ethnicity... DOH!!! Although now we have been a couple for five years, so I think she forgave me...

    User Detail :  

    Name : Iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 25, City : Stockholm (Via Dublin), State : NA Country : Sweden, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Just like me #16713

    Iteki
    Member
    I doubt very much that she 'purposefully went out of her way' to fall in love with someone who was like you, but if you are close, then I don't think it's strange she would end up with someone who was similar to someone she loves very much already. I think I have heard the phrase 'women marry their fathers' at some stage ... this sounds like the dyke variant - be flattered.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 25, City : Stockholm (Via Dublin), State : NA Country : Sweden, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    in reply to: Gay sleeping arrangements #38599

    Iteki
    Member
    Yep, your average les/gay/bi person is just as likely to snuggle up with and fall asleep in the arms of his or her lover as your average straight person. And I reckon the statistics on 'bed-death' look about the same for gay and straight couples. The main day-to-day difference between your average l/g/b marriage and straight marriage is that the roles in the house are handed out based on who is best at them or wants them, not on the basis of who's male or female. For example, my wife does the cooking because I am a useless cook and don't enjoy it. I do the food shopping because I am much better at finding good deals and nice ingredients. She does the 'spider-catching' when they find their way into the apartment, and I clean the floors. Know what I mean? Of course, every couple is different, whether straight or gay.

    As for whether co-workers should sidestep or ask, it depends on the question. Obviously there are some things I consider to be none of their damned business, no matter how 'understandingly' they ask. On the other hand, I have had good friends ask stupid questions like 'Is one of you the man' because they wondered, and in that case I prefer people ask than go around with a big question mark in their heads.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Iteki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 25, City : Stockholm (Via Dublin), State : NA Country : Sweden, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)